Where to Buy Years of Life? / September 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

"The amount of exercise you need to get massive benefits is such a small, I call it a disgustingly small amount, but it really is. Four minutes of vigorous activity per day reduces cancer risk by, I believe, 20%. And if you got up to 10 minutes, I think it was 30%," says Dr. Layne Norton.

"Just 1-2 minutes of vigorous physical activity three times a day can lower the risk of cardiovascular death by 50% and all-cause mortality by 40%,” explains Dr. Rhonda Patrick.

Imagine that! With just a few minutes of effort, you can “buy” years of life.

We’re not talking about grueling marathons, living on the tatami, or puking into a CrossFit bucket. Leave that to elite athletes who pay for golden seconds with such sacrifices.

All we ordinary people need is already within our reach. It's only ignorance that keeps us from being far healthier and stronger.

There’s also a strange tendency to overcomplicate everything. As if the best solutions are only available to demigods—rulers, aristocrats, billionaires, and the winners of the genetic lottery.

Ironically, the most important things in life are free for all:

Sleep.
Sunshine.
Physical activity.
Water and simple food.
Close relationships.
Interesting work.
Spirituality.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

The Root of the Root Cause / September 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People often say, "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link," pointing to what they think is the root of the problem. Technically, they’re right — that’s where the system is weak. But it's important to ask, why is it thinning in that spot?

For example, I spent over a year trying to heal an injury — medial epicondylitis, also known as wrestler's or golfer's elbow. I tried a ton of treatments and worked hard to strengthen the obvious "weak spot" — my forearm. But nothing worked.

One day, I stumbled across a rehab program where specialists explained that elbow tendons become vulnerable when the shoulder and back muscles are underdeveloped. The forearms end up bearing all the load and suffer as a result.

So, I began strengthening my back and shoulders, and within two or three months, I was healed.

The same thing happens in business. Imagine a CEO saying, “I’ve got a weak leadership team. We need a coach to make them stronger.” Going down that path is like throwing the company’s money away.

The weak spot isn’t in the team; it’s further upstream — in the CEO.

If the CEO's decisions are ineffective, the team strains to make up for them. Overtime and self-sacrifice for clients and colleagues become the norm. A breakdown is inevitable.

Instead of systemic business, there is local heroism.

Even if executives figure this out, there’s nothing they can do. All the reins are in the CEO’s hands. For real change, the leader must get tired of putting out fires, and hitting a glass ceiling.

The leader's mindset is the biggest obstacle to growth. But that’s good news because it’s the easiest limitation to remove. All it takes is the CEO's willingness to start any change with himself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Beyond Polarities / September 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Opposites define each other. You can't say "light," "easy," or "truth" without implying "dark," "heavy," or "lie." Otherwise, it makes no sense.

And while polarities seem locked in fierce conflict, their very existence depends on the presence of their counterpart. But what if there is none?

Let's say I declare myself to be Order. Soon enough, I'll start to feel uneasy, restless, and bored. Everything seems perfect, yet something is missing.

To fill this void, I must proclaim to someone, "You are Chaos." A struggle may follow, but within it, there's energy, movement, and goal.

In the beginning, there was nothing, and then I created something. If you add a cathode to a solution with an anode, you get a directed flow of particles. This transfer of energy allows for creation and destruction of anything.

It turns out that polarities have meaning not in themselves or their conflict, but as part of a greater meta-process that surpasses them both.

So, perhaps the polarities did not initiate the Process (and certainly not me).

On the contrary, the Process came first—it gave birth to everything.

But this also means that opposites are the same phenomenon. Their endless struggle is like a mother's labor contractions, pushing new life forward.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Heraclitus Was Right? / August 31, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Carl Jung wrote: "Old Heraclitus, who was indeed a very great sage, discovered the most marvellous of all psychological laws: the regulative function of opposites. He called it enantiodromia, a running contrariwise, by which he meant that sooner or later everything runs into its opposite."

Examples are everywhere:

The knight in shining armor becomes the dragon.
The victim dreams of swapping places with the oppressor.
Radical liberalism turns into totalitarianism.
Excessive tightening of screws leads to social explosion.
A mother’s desire to protect her child robs him of survival skills.

In this sense, enantiodromia is a warning. If you, your company, or society have drifted to any extreme, expect trouble. A ship is most vulnerable in stormy seas when it’s tipped to its side.

Buddhism speaks of the “middle path.” It means, for example, finding a golden balance between asceticism and indulgence. At first, Buddha mortified his flesh but realized it was a dead end.

A more interesting interpretation of the “middle path” is the unity of opposites. A paradoxical solution dissolves opposition completely. A conflict at one level is harmony at another.

This brings hope because suffering is not meaningless. Over time, enantiodromia will set everything in its place. “The fool who persists in his folly will become wise,” wrote the poet William Blake.

Jung explains: “The grand plan on which the unconscious life of the psyche is constructed is so inaccessible to our understanding that we can never know what evil may not be necessary in order to produce good by enantiodromia, and what good may very possibly lead to evil.”

So we don't have to avoid what is frightening or repulsive in ourselves.

The oak strength of our personality is nourished by manure-rich soil.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Freeing Attitude / August 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Clients sometimes trust me with things about themselves that no one else knows.

Why is this a secret? To them, it seems strange, ridiculous, terrible, and so on. But with my attitude, I prove to them: "It's not like that at all — in fact, there's normalcy, harmony, and beauty hidden in it."

This isn't some psychological trick; I truly believe this.

My certainty comes from personal experience, which I've lived through many times. It’s not a game of the mind, but a reality embodied in the flesh. Once you feel it within yourself, you can never forget it.

What I once thought was nonsense and filth in myself turned out to be a nugget of gold.

Without a psychotherapist, I wouldn't have been able to undergo such a metamorphosis. And believe me, I've tried every method, from the conventional to the exotic. None of it was in vain, but a Significant Other radically sped up the synthesis.

American philosopher and psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin said: "Most people have no one who will hear and receive their own inward experience just as it is. No one wants to know exactly how you experience your personal struggle. Everyone wants to edit it, change it, improve it, put his or her meaning onto it. Another person is a very powerful aid in letting one's feelings and meanings open up and develop through steps, but only if that other person can listen."

To see yourself without distortion and accept it — that's renewal.

Our perception of the “bogeyman” in ourselves only changes when we feel someone else's interest, admiration, and love for him. Just like after a season of drought, all of nature awakens with the first drops of rain, heralding a new cycle of life.

The more fully we accept ourselves, the more readily we accept others. Like a living chain, we pass on the fire that warms and frees us.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Beyond the Grind / August 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Motorcycles, jiu-jitsu, and self-defense—every coach says the same thing:

When dodging an obstacle, look past it to the next cone.

During a throw, keep your eyes where your opponent should land.

When striking an opponent, aim not at his body, but through it.

Sounds strange, right? But experience proves these ideas work.

A motorcycle goes where your gaze is fixed. Focusing on the nearest obstacle leads to a crash. But if your eyes are set on a distant goal, your body maneuvers around the cone. How? It’s a mystery.

A throw usually demands your all. Otherwise you can’t overcome your opponent’s resistance. Mind, psyche, and muscle align when you focus on the end goal.

When you hit an opponent's body, it's as if you're holding yourself back. But if your fist is set to pierce his body through, the damage multiplies.

Now, apply this insight to business.

When do problems arise? For instance, when the founder and the team get too caught up in the grind. Issues spread like wildfire. That’s when the big picture is lost.

All it takes is a slight shift in focus. Start with the founder. He was, is, and will be the starting point for any transformation.

Once the founder remembers the bigger goal, miracles start to happen:

Key decisions are made and implemented faster.
Employees communicate better and argue less.
The list of investment projects cleans itself of nonsense.
Frustrating problems turn into valuable opportunities.
A drive awakens - not just to survive, but to win and thrive.

What's the takeaway?

Your business doesn't need millions in investment, AI integration, government support, or top managers with Harvard MBAs. All that is secondary.

What matters most is how you use what you already have:

Where are you directing your most precious asset—your attention?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Evolution of Drama / August 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A person has the right to live in the drama he needs. His twists and turns are epic, but don’t let that bother you. No matter how much you want to help, you cannot. His drama brings him hidden pleasure. It's like a drug.

For his life to start changing, a man must be tired to death.

Tired of what? Of the chasm between an excess of form and a shortage of meaning.

There's a joke about a man selling beautiful balloons who whispers to a customer that the balloons are defective because they don't bring joy. The outward appearance doesn’t matter if the function is lost.

Everyone has a function, a reason for being here. Unfortunately, the manual on how to operate oneself isn't handed out at birth. So, the answer to the big question, "What for?" is something each person has to find on his own.

To make things worse, from childhood, our aim is thrown off, we are distracted from the true path, and we're fed bad advice. Some do this out of malice, others with good intentions (which is even worse).

A healthy process reveals itself through a vague longing: "This is not it." Sometimes, life teaches better through negation than affirmation.

The fact of a growing emptiness inside signals the need for something else.

This is how the sense of personal meaning sharpens. Everything around is scrutinized at the gate. What’s unnecessary and foreign is ruthlessly discarded. And gold dust starts to show up more often through the tons of dirt.

Valuable events happen on their own, important experiences are lived, and the right person is met. Your life quietly becomes what it was meant to be from the beginning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Art of Throwing Yourself Away / August 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In my ninth year of practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I return to the basics - studying standing throws in Japanese Judo. The section on “Sute mi waza,” or “sacrifice techniques,” intrigues me.

“Sute” (捨て) means “to throw away,” and “Mi” (身) means “body” or “self.”

For instance, to execute Tomoe Nage, I must sacrifice my stable stance and, falling backward, draw my opponent along with me. The more sincerely I fall, the more inevitable his tumbling becomes.

And suddenly, I realize I’m getting in my own way.

The thing is, we usually learn to control every step of a technique. Like climbing stairs, we methodically ascend.

Here, however, the opposite is required—to release control temporarily. It’s like a parachute jump, taking psychedelics, or trusting in love. Total vulnerability is a gateway to another world.

One cannot step into a gaping hole halfway. One must accept the small, yet real, possibility of tragedy. For someone accustomed to controlling every aspect of their life, this leap of faith is unbearable.

Interestingly, the “chaotic fall” during the throw grants us Control 2.0, or a meta-level of control. Yes, we are both unstable, but creating this chaos is our choice, while the opponent remains passive.

In exchange for sacrifice, we gain a decisive advantage. One must throw oneself away to rediscover oneself.

One inevitably wonders: “What would my life be like if I trusted more in a force beyond my control, yet so kind to me?”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Delicate Balance / August 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When the outcome of a game is known in advance, it loses all appeal. Kids will quickly start looking for something else to do.

According to neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, even a rat refuses to invite a stronger rat to play-wrestle unless it is allowed to win at least 3 rounds out of 10.

The future must remain unpredictable to captivate, energize, and give meaning. But isn't stability what people want most?

A safe environment is enough for existence, but not for living. Absolute safety leads to stagnation, inertia, and death.

But try diving headfirst into the opposite extreme. When literally anything can happen, the world feels like a washing machine and a person is nothing but laundry.

So, we despise stagnation just as much as anarchy.

It’s clear why few people find harmony there. Mastery of this delicate balance is an art that can be a lifetime's work.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Your Unknown Land / August 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

It’s unbearable to watch someone hold back his own potential.

Why? Because in that moment, I realize I’m doing the same to myself. I must admit, I’ve got plenty of experience in this.

Unfortunately, this isn't a knot you can cut to free yourself forever. It’s more like hundreds of tiny knots, like the ones the Lilliputians used to tie down Gulliver. Those clever little tricksters did it while he slept, exhausted from battling the ocean after the shipwreck.

Gulliver could’ve tried to break free and stomp them all out. But he chose a wiser path—patience, tact, and curiosity.

By doing so, he learned a lot about this strange little people, their way of electing officials, and their sacred law that forbade breaking boiled eggs on the blunt end.

Gradually, the emperor started to trust and even like the terrifying stranger and allowed him to roam freely in their land. The people and the stranger formed an alliance. They enriched each other.

But Gulliver had more complicated knots to untangle, for in a "foreign monastery" moral dilemmas are inevitable. After solving them all, Gulliver returned home to his family.

Yet soon, the spirit of adventure called him to sail away again. This time, fate brought him to Brobdingnag, the Land of Giants. His usual thinking was turned upside down again.

But the greatest shock awaited him in the land of the Houyhnhnms, where intelligent horses ruled, and disgusting humanoid creatures (Yahoos) were reduced to the status of livestock.

Gulliver’s worldview changed so much that even years later, he felt disgust toward everything human. He was only happy around the stableman because he smelled like horses.

Jonathan Swift’s novel was first published 298 years ago, yet it remains relevant. How is that possible?

In its metaphorical form, the novel speaks to each of us. Whether we like it or not, we find ourselves on new ground again and again. There, dilemmas and mysteries await.

One day, we find answers. The search forever changes us.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Update Your Assumptions / August 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine you’ve embarked on an extremely difficult and dangerous venture. The payoff could be monumental, but you’ll have no help, and there are no guarantees.

The future is murky, and your influence over it is minimal. Failure is always lurking around the corner. Clearly, the best strategy is to consciously take the next step.

Like a solo climber, you cling to a barely visible ledge or crack, trying to gain another meter on the mountain. When you finally reach the top, you’ll wearily wonder, “Did I really make it?”

This is why it’s so hard for a founder to step away from operations. It feels like if you let go of focus for even a moment, the business will collapse like a house of cards. But there’s a chance that this perception is no longer valid.

Possible reasons:

1. The future has become clearer. The company has found its business model and knows exactly what value it offers to which customers. This means it can plan its growth and cash flow.

2. The current danger has decreased. The service or product cycle has repeated so often that it’s become a standard procedure. Quality control has replaced the need for frantic, last-minute saves.

3. Additional resources have emerged. The increased volume of operations is carried out by a team of top managers who have grown organically from within. Experienced advisors have been found for each critical area.

What’s true in your case? Just one? Maybe all three? Or more?

The point is that your core assumptions need to be re-evaluated from time to time. What once saved you yesterday may become a glass ceiling tomorrow.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

A Faraway Journey Nearby / August 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Every morning, I sit down to write a fresh article for you. Sometimes I already have an idea, but more often, I have to search for it. Or actively wait.

With that in mind, I absentmindedly scroll through IG, browsing the images I’ve saved just in case. I guess that makes me a hunter-gatherer.

A Japanese sculptor or a photographer from the heart of America might intrigue me so much that I’ll wander through his feed for half an hour.

It feels like my favorite activity when traveling abroad—roaming the foreign streets. For obvious reasons, that’s not possible for me now. But, as you can see, I’ve found a way around it.

After all, every city is a physical expression of the worldview and culture of its people. A walk reveals "Aha" moments in the most unexpected places. It subtly enriches and changes you.

Photographers, sculptors, and artists have a third eye. They see the world as it is but then bend its light through the prism of their gift. The essence of existence becomes clear.

Even before I’ve written a single word, my time hasn’t been wasted. Sitting at my desk in Kyiv, it felt like I peeked into a kaleidoscope of Wow-ideas after a hit of DMT.

At the right moment, one of them bites the hook of my curiosity. No effort is needed. The article writes itself. Voilà!

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Vitality Trap / August 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Tatami gives me answers to the questions posed by business and life.

Question: When do I burn the most energy?

When I’m butting heads with a force greater than myself.

Both sides get drained, but my resources will run out first.

Examples:

Trying to fix a system that’s corrupt from top to bottom.
A long legal battle between a startup and an global corporation.
Selling a stake to an investor tied to the criminal world.

Let's push this idea to the limit to understand the worst-case scenario:

We challenge a force that’s eternal, inevitable, and inexhaustible.

The fight will be pointless because the outcome is already decided.

For example, analysts predict that the global cosmetic surgery market will grow from $48 billion in 2023 to $73 billion in 2028. The fear of aging drives people to pay any price for the illusion.

Everything around us inevitably decays, crumbles, and disappears: organisms, civilizations, and mountain ranges. Only the Ego proclaims: "Let everything and everyone change, but I stay as is."

This belief pushes a person into conflict with the universe. He drives away worries of the inevitable end. To calm himself, he wastes tremendous energy maintaining a false picture of the world.

Then he asks, “Why am I so tired? Where’s the energy to live?”

Imagine how much he could achieve if he didn’t squander energy fighting something that doesn't even notice him.

And it blows the mind to think about what will happen when his liberated personal power merges with the universal flow of life.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Heartfelt Wisdom / August 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

It's no secret that some people are led by logic, while others by intuition. There are even terms: "man-mind" and "man-spirit".

The first type excels at noticing nuances and details in what's happening now. The second type sees the hidden patterns and grasps the situation as a whole. In itself, this isn't good or bad. It's just the way it is.

But people have a choice—to upgrade themselves or to degrade.

For example, someone might develop their mind, forgetting about the spiritual side. Lying, cheating, stealing, and belittling others becomes easy and enjoyable. A mind free from morality does these things boldly, with a spark.

Or, a person might focus on their spirituality but ignore the practical side of life. The spirit grows without the mind. His goals are so beautiful, lofty, and noble that he's willing to sacrifice anyone, including himself, to achieve them.

It's clear that both of these paths lead to chaos, violence, and deception.

What's the alternative? To develop the mind with the spirit and the spirit with the mind. This means that a person with a strong logical side pays attention to the so-called "nonsense"—ethics, aesthetics, religion, metaphysics, and so on.

And a man with a dominant intuitive side makes an effort to appreciate the so-called "vulgarity"—seeking cause-and-effect relationships, evaluating real consequences, and staying grounded.

In this case, both are rewarded with truth, harmony, and love.

"One of the saints said that the heart must become wise, and the mind must become heartfelt," a kind person once explained to me.

As we can see, it's not about which imbalance we start with, but whether we're willing to face what makes us uncomfortable. And most importantly, it's about which force—chaos or harmony—we choose to serve each day.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Truth in the Dirt / August 20, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

John Danaher, the coach of champions, explains: "In the sport of jiu-jitsu, the most beautiful takedowns score the same as the ugliest takedowns. You will not be judged by takedowns but by the outcome of the takedown.”

John, isn't it the same in business? The more bureaucratic the company and the lower the manager's level, the stricter the requirements for form — the accepted "beauty" standard.

On the other hand, in a tech startup team and at the entrepreneurial level, only the final result matters — you either survive (win) or slow down (die). Here, function is valued, even when it takes on a repulsive form.

Moreover, every founder knows that "ugliness" is a mandatory step before "beauty." Every beginning is like childbirth — chaos, pain, screams, risk, and blood. You can't find a gold nugget without getting dirty.

That's why seasoned founders don't fear imperfection; they seek it out. Most likely, 99% of people have passed by what they consider nonsense.

A monk asked, "What is Buddha?"

A Zen master replied, "A dry turd."

To a Western reader, this phrase is both unclear and unpleasant.

But this is the paradox of existence — the most valuable things aren't kept in a heavenly chest with platinum locks. The treasures are scattered before us. But our prejudices turn our gaze away.

True wealth will remain out of reach as long as the thirst for pleasure and comfort overshadows the quest for truth.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Find Your Sport / August 19, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

It takes almost superhuman discipline to sweat in the gym for years just for the sake of your health.

A strict coach or a close-knit group can help boost motivation. Some are inspired by the prestige of a gym or the purchase of gear. Sometimes, a “kick in the pants” from a doctor does the trick.

But all of that is secondary and only keeps you going for a short time. There has to be a deeper reason why it's so important for you to run in the rain, pick up a mace, or pack your kimono into your backpack.

You might not be able to explain why, but you know this sport demands a lot from you and gives even more in return. And it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose.

This means that every workout transforms your personality, not just your body. Beyond developing skills, you learn something new about yourself. This activity has a personal meaning, even if it’s implicit.

Just like choosing a motorcycle, you have to pick your sport with your “butt". To your friends, it might seem strange, but it will be uniquely yours. It’s the key to a lock that holds everything:

interest,
patience,
vitality,
creativity,
playfulness,
consistency,
stubbornness,
speed of learning,
recovery from injuries, and more.

The bonus track is that your favorite sport will guide you on what you need to focus on at the moment. For example, strengthening your knees, increasing endurance, or improving mobility.

When function shapes form, everything naturally falls into place.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Say It Out Loud / August 18, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Deep down, we know we are capable of:

Breaking free from the endless loop of thoughts.
Walking a thorny path to reach a cherished goal.
Venturing into the dark dungeons of our psyche.
Loving someone who seems impossible to love.
Accepting the imperfections of our mind, body, or work.
Letting go of what we hold most dear, but which holds us back.
Spotting an elegant solution to chronic problems right under our noses.

If all of this is true, then why do we hesitate?

Strangely enough, we just need to hear it out loud.

To be sure, we need to repeat it, and then write it down.

This way, the meaning you intend takes on a tangible form.

But there are three conditions to doing this: First, it must be sincere. Second, it must be unwavering. Third, it must be done with unconditional care for you. Yet, you remain silent. That means there are doubts: “Yes, but...”

Those doubts need to be doubted. That’s where Other comes in.

His very presence helps you hear what’s true and what’s false in what you say. When he speaks aloud what you’ve been trying to express, you feel like shouting, “Yes, that’s it!”

Finding such a person isn’t easy because it’s not just about skills, experience, or recommendations. It’s about trust. After all, you are choosing a witness to a life you can't help but live.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Paradox Value / August 17, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

You’ll find the most where there’s nothing.

True treasures lie beneath layers of dirt, trash, and dust.

What we buy for an outrageous price has always been within us.

The clash of opposing forces obscures the fruitful synthesis.

Our vulnerability will ultimately save us.

Does that sound paradoxical? That’s the essence of real life.

Everything else—footprints in the sand, empty pinecones, and shed antlers. Those who left them behind are long gone. People are looking in the wrong direction.

When you realize this, you start seeking out paradoxes everywhere. Something absurd, strange, and against common sense no longer frightens you. Instead, you want to turn the odd phenomenon over in your hands.

Why? Because only then can you achieve:

A way out of a dead end.
The transformation of a curse into a gift.
A fresh solution that no one had thought of.
The resolution of irreconcilable contradictions.
A huge return on a modest investment of effort.
Freedom from illusions that have limited you for so long.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chronos, Relax! / August 16, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When does time feel too slow?

For example, when we feel bad:

in pain,
feeling sick,
bored,
sad about losing something valuable,
desperate to get what we don’t have right now.

And when do we stop noticing time? It’s when we’re fully immersed in the flow of life instead of watching it from the sidelines. The measure of existence loses all meaning.

A person frees himself from desires, attachments, and suffering. It’s like a glimpse of nirvana—a perfect world of the gods.

That’s why a creator reacts to interruptions in his work like a fish being pulled from the water. He was truly alive just moments ago, and suddenly, a symbolic death arrives.

Alas, it’s impossible to stay in the Garden of Eden forever. But if you don’t at least peek in once in a while, can you really say you exist?

Blessed is he who often tells Chronos, “Can’t you see I’m busy? Wait.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Imbalance Sign / August 15, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

If you notice an excess of emotion, that's a red flag.

What exactly it means needs to be figured out, but rest assured—if it's not a pathology, then there's definitely some disruption.

Examples:

Your innocent comment triggers aggression from a business partner.
A client goes silent for a long time after your technical request.
A driver in a neighboring car starts acting nervously on the road.
Watching a conflict among animals makes you physically sick.
An acquaintance suddenly bares her soul on social media.

I have a habit of jotting down such events in the evening. The most striking ones are worth analyzing with a therapist. But even minor incidents can, over time, form a pattern that carries meaning.

What kind of meaning? Excess emotion indicates a loss of balance:

in yourself.
in another person.
in a group or society.
in your relationship with them.
in the environment in general.

If a person slips, he not only cries out and flails his arms, but he might also drop things, hurt someone nearby, fall, get injured, and then blame someone for it.

In other words, the level of chaos rises, and that means trouble is coming.

It’s time to turn on your vigilance and curiosity. Each such incident is a crack in the structures of social conventions, the camouflage of culture, and personal lies. You instantly learn a lot about the person, society, the world, and, of course, yourself.

You better treasure these gifts of fate.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.