Stuck in the Dark /  by Alexander Lyadov

Because of the power outages, I got stuck in an elevator for the first time today.

A forced experience of uncertainty, confinement, and darkness. No mobile connection. No internet.

Luckily, I was carrying groceries home after training. Bread and cheese immediately lifted my spirits. The operator who answered through the emergency button said help was coming, but she couldn’t say when.

Meanwhile, I decided to study how the elevator worked, naively hoping I could escape the steel cage on my own. Unfortunately, it could only be opened from the outside.

I put my phone away and sank into the darkness. Anxious thoughts began to stir: “What if I become claustrophobic? I never have been, but...”

I gave myself a pep talk: “Come on, really! Pray. Meditate. Hell, write a new article on your phone. Make good use of the time!”

And just as the words of the article began falling nicely into place, the technician arrived and pulled me by the hand out of my “cell.” Forty minutes had flown by.

Sometimes fate drives us into a tiny, confined space, as if we were a wild animal in a zoo cage. But a human being can create, think, dream. From nothing. In complete darkness.

Out of the debris and fragments of Chaos, you can build your own Microcosm.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Orient Yourself /  by Alexander Lyadov

In The Power of the Actor: The Chubbuck Technique, there is a passage (translated):

“An actor must also keep in mind how the script ends and try to earn the right, scene by scene, to arrive at that ending. If the script ends with you finding happiness with another person, every scene, in one form or another, must be devoted to pursuing love. If the script ends with separation, then you must earn the right to part.”

Notice: “every scene,” not “most” or “some.” The character’s pull toward the desired state runs through his entire life.

Does the actor’s attitude apply to you? Take, for example, your company, profession, passion, occupation, in short, your Work.

Today is a new scene that is taking you somewhere. The only question is where. If there is not even a vague guess, then there are no criteria of “good and evil.” Events seem to happen on their own.

There is not even a chance to wake up in time and change something. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate,” Carl Jung wrote.

It is different if, out of the infinity of possible futures, you have chosen state X. Even if its contours are still vague. And it is hard to believe that it is achievable. In fact, you may have no idea “how.”

What matters is something else: now you have a reference point. In ancient times, people sailed into the unknown seas and oceans with one thing to guide them: the stars.

Did they drift off course? Sure. Did they sometimes get lost? Yes, especially in storms and on foggy nights. But then they found their star again.

Even if your reference point is very far away, keeping it in sight already transforms hostile chaos into a cosmos in which you can and want to live.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Missing Third /  by Alexander Lyadov

Conflicts in business are common, although there are no grounds for many of them. Take, for example, the relationship between a founder and an employee.

The first one thinks that no one gives a damn about the company except him. The other is convinced that the founder cares about nothing — only profit.

Don’t believe them? Each has accumulated a long list of “facts.” Give them the slightest reason, and you get an argument, a standoff, a strike, and terror.

Something is missing from this relationship, isn’t it? More precisely, someone. These two would not even have met if not for the third — their customer.

Business does not begin with the employee. And not even with the founder. The burdock’s hook needs the animal’s fur, the sail needs the wind, the flower needs the bumblebee.

What comes first is the customer’s discomfort, even pain, that everyone else ignores. But for some reason, our founder cares. And he decides to help.

The customer is freed from something that has long kept him from living and creating. What does he do? Right, he will thank and generously reward the deliverer.

It is not hard to predict what happens next. Soon, customers are lining up. The founder begins to suffocate under the demand and hires an employee.

Together, they can now bring relief to far more people. Notice that there is not even a hint of conflict between them. They are too busy.

Both are focused on the customer’s interests, not their own. As long as this remains true, everything inside the company is fine: loyalty, profit, et cetera.

But the moment they turn away from the customer, the temptation appears to wonder whether everything in their relationship is really fair.

Attention will gladly assemble the “facts” needed to defend one’s unfairly neglected interests. The other side will mirror it. And there is your conflict.

How do you stop it and reverse it?

Remember who and what brought all of you here in the first place.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Create from Nothing /  by Alexander Lyadov

From a rational point of view, creativity does not and cannot exist.

What kind of task is this, anyway?

“Take Nothing. From it create Something.”

What exactly is this Nothing? And how are you supposed to take it? With your hands? With tongs? Most importantly, how do you organize the creation process?

Has anyone ever explained this to you: at college, at home, or at school?

In short, every aspect of the task leaves you stumped.

At worst, it looks like mockery. At best, mysticism.

Fortunately, the Creator has no time to think about any of this.

His soul, Mind, and body are completely absorbed in the Work.

The Creator is inseparable from creation. Like a part from the Whole. Like a bee from honey. Like a gland from sweat.

His focus is on preserving the connection. With what? With whom?

To get the result, you don’t need to know. It is enough to stay open.

It’s simple: there is a Portal. Everything comes to the Creator through it. Inspiration. Curiosity. Ideas. Confidence. Audacity. Strength.

Wise is the Creator whose rational Mind knows how to protect the Portal. From carelessness. Idle curiosity. Self-interest. Ridicule. Pride.

And most importantly, from attempts to understand in advance what reveals itself only later. Personally. Face to face.

But by then, it often no longer matters.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Make the Space Yours /  by Alexander Lyadov

In The Bourne Identity, a special agent completely forgets who he is after a trauma, but retains all his survival skills. He doesn’t understand why he reads a space in such ​a peculiar way​!:

“When I walk in here, the first thing I do is assess what can be seen from where and look for escape routes. I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars parked outside. I can tell you our waitress is left-handed, and the guy behind the counter weighs 215 pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know that if I were looking for a weapon, the best place to check would be the cab of the gray truck parked outside.”

Bourne sees opportunities everywhere that for others simply don’t exist.

Yesterday, a ​theater director​ explained:

“Make the space yours. Otherwise, you trap both yourself and the audience in a corner. And then you are not the master. The point is to make the space help you, work for you.”

In practice, this means slowly walking around the room, noticing a crack in the wall, touching a curtain, looking out the window, opening a cabinet. Your attention turns all these little things into potential resources.

Importantly, this is how you make this microcosm familiar, understandable, yours.

As the unknown disappears, so does your anxiety. Confidence, openness, and curiosity take its place. A desire arises to improvise, experiment, play, and discover yourself.

Like your prehistoric nomadic ancestors, you have performed a ritual, making a new and frightening world habitable.

Remember this advice when a dark day comes and it feels as if everything is against you and you are completely alone in a cold, empty world.

Wherever you go and wherever you find yourself, walk around the territory, carefully observing everything and everyone. You may be surprised by how much there is that is interesting, or even useful to you.

In any case, the space will become a little more friendly. As if someone thought of you in advance and placed these resources here.

And it feels good to sense that the world around you is on your side.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Take the Gift Now /  by Alexander Lyadov

While swinging a mace this morning, an idea for the newsletter came to me. It was so interesting that I thought: “No time to write it down. I’ll remember.”

Of course, after a shower and breakfast, the idea had vanished without a trace.

Yesterday I wrote about wonderful and, most importantly, ​accessible opportunities​ crowding at your door at any time. But there’s one nuance you need to know: each of them has a short lifespan.

If you don’t catch someone’s eye in the park and nod to a stranger right away, you’ll pass each other by, just like the hundred other people you’ve encountered today.

That’s why, in the middle of the night, I usually write down a dream immediately, even if it seems like nonsense and falling asleep again afterward can be difficult. The valuable meaning of the dream may reveal itself during the day, or sometimes months or even years later.

In one of my favorite movies, A Good Year (2006), Uncle Henry asks young Max: “What’s the most important thing about a good joke?” and answers: “Timing.” It’s the same everywhere: in stand-up, boxing, play, and love.

The gift comes to us on its own, but are we ready to take it into our hands?

Often we turn away or react too late. “Now isn’t convenient.” “Let’s do it after the holidays.” “Can’t you see I’m busy?” “Once I finish X, then...”

“Not now” means “never.”

It turns out that we get in our own way. More precisely, our Mind does. It is convinced that it knows better what is good and bad for us. It has analyzed all the resources available to us and built the perfect plan.

And suddenly this “stupid” gift breaks all those clever plans. How can we not feel irritated or angry? The Mind is doing everything it can to help a person, and then someone else interferes. Who, I wonder?

It is so hard to accept the thought that someone loves you just as you are, holds out gifts to you, just because, wanting nothing in return.

“People who don’t believe in kindness rarely encounter it.”

I don’t remember the author, but I’ve carried this thought with me for years.

As an experiment, believe sometimes.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Criminally Accessible /  by Alexander Lyadov

Some of the most important things in life are criminally accessible.

A good night’s sleep. Quenching thirst, satisfying hunger. In fact, almost any physiological process. A walk through a botanical garden, a forest, or the city. Watching the activity of insects, animals, and clouds.

I won’t even mention the creative process. It’s so easy to get high when you invent, draw, build. Simply cook food.

All it takes is to be the first to nod to a stranger with whom you locked eyes in an elevator or on a path. Sometimes a conversation starts so spontaneously that you never forget it.

One kind word, gesture, or symbolic gift from someone can radically change the trajectory of your day. What’s more — you yourself can send a message, pouring warmth over him or her and yourself.

Most importantly, none of this requires strength, power, or money.

Day and night, opportunities line up at your door.

You only need to allow them to yourself.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Price of Wisdom /  by Alexander Lyadov

Archetypes have tremendous power over a person.

Don’t believe it? Watch the Netflix documentary Tyson.

You will learn how a childhood trauma grows into the Warrior’s sword that strikes everyone around, including its owner. Until he meets the figure he lacked — the Mentor, the Father, the King.

But that isn’t enough. If the mentorship was brief, his own King simply doesn’t have enough time to mature and take the throne within. Alas, the samurai then becomes a ronin, a “lost one” without a suzerain.

Imagine what would happen if a trained-to-kill Belgian Malinois suddenly lost its owner and became a stray. You wouldn’t be thrilled to meet this “cutie” on an empty lot, would you?

A person possessed by an archetype poses the same danger to others and to himself. He begins to think he is a god. Invulnerable. Omnipotent. Grandiose, in other words.

Looking back on that period of his life, Tyson says: "This is what I learned from Cus D'Amato: “Human beings are not to be humble. They're made to be humbled”.

In Greek tragedy, the hero (and the audience) moves through a sequence:

Hubris → Nemesis → Catharsis.

In other words, pride leads to retribution from above and, ultimately, purification.

An archetype can give a person a great deal, but he must not forget that he is not the archetype. Their interests intersect, but do not coincide. At best, a partnership emerges. At worst, a conflict.

Such a conflict is destructive both when the archetype is driven underground and when, as in Tyson’s case, it takes over the personality. Sometimes understanding the right distance comes at a high price.

Having lived through many twists and turns and grown wiser, Tyson concludes: “I am a big believer everybody gets what they deserve to make them who they are”.

The question is: are we ready to accept gifts that don’t look like gifts?

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Train Your Yin /  by Alexander Lyadov

What is the most important skeletal muscle in the human body?

I remember how desperately we trained our chests and biceps when we were young. As we got older, we added thighs, triceps, shoulders, back, calves...

But nobody thought about the glutes. Judging by Instagram, women seem to care about them aesthetically, but why would men?

That’s what many think until their lower back suddenly seizes up. Office work, snowboarding, lifting, or grappling: the trigger is secondary. What matters is that you instantly feel helpless, like a beetle pinned to the wall.

You become a frequent visitor to the orthopedist, trade your sport for rehab, and start reading books by “back guru” Dr. Stuart M. McGill.

And then you suddenly discover that, for a man, there may be no muscle more important than the glutes. They are practically strategic infrastructure for the functionality of the entire body.

Stabilization of the “vertical,” holding the pelvis in motion, standing up, stairs, running, jumping, lifting weights from the ground, pulling — in short, everything.

What’s more, experts in deadlifts and squats emphasize: “Consciously engage your glutes. This creates a solid frame and helps protect your spine from injury.”

Moving horizontally on four legs, the animal was absorbed in the flow of existence. Man stood upright, rose above his life, looked around, and wondered: “What for?”

A different perspective, a wider field of vision, free hands, gestures, intense exchange of looks, gestures, and sounds with others. Walking upright set off a cascade of changes in human life.

Ironically, one of the most important muscles for a man turned out to be the “feminine” gluteals. It reminds one of the black drop of Yin in the snow-white Yang. And the role of the Anima for vitality in a man’s psyche.

It seems to be yet another reminder of one of my favorite rules:

We will find what is most valuable where we least want to look.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Great Reversal /  by Alexander Lyadov

For years, I saw improvisation as a loss of control, and therefore as danger, humiliation, disgrace, shame. And yet I couldn’t take my eyes off it... in others. Now I’m becoming convinced that it holds my freedom, joy, pleasure, growth, flourishing, meaning, in short, Life.

The sad irony of life is that everything in it seems turned inside out.

Someone cleverly confused people by swapping good and evil. As a result, they waste enormous amounts of effort. Helping founders, I encounter this problem more often than almost any other.

A person has to spend decades searching for what he has always had. But he couldn’t use the gift because of an ironclad conviction: “Impossible. Too simple. This is stupid. Or a trap.”

What’s the best way to hide something? Put it in plain sight.

  • Praise ugliness in every possible way, while smearing beauty with dirt.

  • Call dependence freedom, and rhyme will with prison.

  • In the isolation of loneliness, force one to seek the desired fullness.

  • Instead of bold openness, take fear’s aggression for strength.

  • Prefer excessive complexity to modest simplicity.

  • Enchantedly imitate others while devaluing one’s own uniqueness

The perfect deception is to convince us: where our salvation is, humiliation, slavery, helplessness — in short, symbolic death — awaits us.

And most importantly, make us believe: “This is our personal choice.”

Sooner or later, we will have to make a “crazy” reversal.

Μετάνοια. A change of mind.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Dirt of Novelty /  by Alexander Lyadov

Yesterday I spoke with a colleague from Italy who, like me, helps founders find breakthrough solutions when they are stuck.

We agreed that CEOs and top management are eager to talk about renewing a business through innovation, and they do so often, but between their words and deeds there is usually a gap. Interesting, why?

My hypothesis — people struggle to tolerate the ambivalence of Novelty.

As long as the word is abstract, thinking about it is pleasant and easy. One imagines the scale of unique opportunities, prosperity, growth…

But when it comes to their company, “novelty” means shaking the foundation, fogginess of the future, and the risk of catastrophes.

What’s more, even thinking about a bright future for the company can trigger irritation and sadness. After all, it is a reminder of a chance that still existed recently but may already be lost forever.

Who would willingly dive into this “dirt”? And for long? And headfirst?

This step is complicated by a corporate culture where mistakes are a sign of losers, amateurs, and weaklings. You can’t give cards to the one who will take your chair tomorrow. Risk must be reduced to zero.

Still, employees copy the leader’s behavior. Does he appear infallible? Does he blame anyone and anything for problems? If his clothes are always angelically white, then the managers also aim to be saints.

There is no room for even a pinch of dirt in this museum-like cleanliness. Alas, the seeds of innovation have nowhere to fall, and the sprout has nowhere to put down roots. Don’t expect fruit.

I’m sure you’ve already guessed who the desired changes need to start with.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Horizontal Poison /  by Alexander Lyadov

Want to guarantee that you poison your mind, body, and soul?

Compare yourself to others. The poison enters your bloodstream instantly.

Eventually, of course, your system neutralizes it. Alas, the damage is done.

One thought is enough: “While I’m still (negative), someone else is already (positive).”

Let’s call this the problem of horizontal orientation. You look around and find someone who is “better” than you.

“Better” supposedly means more perfect, more whole, more ideal than you.

In effect, for a while you make that other person your god. Moreover, a pagan god: cold, judgmental, cruel, and angry.

But intuitively, you know he is human. Which means he has flaws. You just have to wait until he shows weakness and...

“The victim always longs to trade places with the oppressor,” a wise psychotherapist once explained to me. This god was artificially created, and therefore, inevitably, the god must be killed.

False orientation cannot help but lead to some form of violence. And it all began so innocently: you simply looked sideways.

Instead of looking up. At whom?

Choose for yourself which language feels most comfortable: psychological, philosophical, metaphysical, or religious.

The main thing is that now you have a vertical orientation. This kind of comparison doesn’t poison you. Instead it inspires you to develop and grow upward.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Say What You Want /  by Alexander Lyadov

I remember a story in some psychotherapist’s book about a woman who once blurted out to her family over dinner:

“Just so you know! I hate cooking. And I don’t want to do it anymore!”

She was stunned when her husband and children exclaimed in unison: “Phew! Finally! We’re so tired of watching you force yourself to do it.” By the way, food cooked without love wasn’t very tasty either.

It turned out that everyone suffers when one person forces herself to do something against her will.

Hmm, could the opposite also be true? Fulfilling your authentic desires may be a path to joy not only for you, but for everyone around you.

Of course, there needs to be some coordination around who wants what. Otherwise, conflict.

So it matters that other people know where you’re dissatisfied. Be bolder about voicing your desires, and people will fulfill them more often.

Sounds immodest, even selfish?

Do you know how exhausting it is to guess what you truly want?

Often, a team bends over backward trying somehow to bring the founder’s vision to life... while he mysteriously keeps it to himself like the Sphinx.

So finally say out loud what you really want deep down.

Let life pleasantly surprise you in return.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Create. Then Delegate /  by Alexander Lyadov

I’ll tell you how I divide responsibilities with AI regarding articles.

My experience in the advertising business taught me to clearly separate the stage of generating ideas from the stage of editing them (shaping, presenting). That was the sacred rule of brainstorming for Wow ideas.

The first stage is mysterious and unpredictable, and creative people are the virtuosos here. The second is obvious and algorithmic, requiring common sense and managers’ attention to detail.

Importantly, editing can kill a great idea, but I’ve never seen it radically improve one. That’s why it is so critical to protect the fragile process of creating ideas. A mistake here is a catastrophe.

That’s why I write every article myself. I cast a hook into the empty screen and wait for an Idea to bite. Sometimes the float doesn’t move for a very long time. Or some little roach just nibbles at the bait.

Here I can’t delegate anything to AI because I both know what I’m waiting for and don’t know at the same time. When That One Idea bites, I will know for sure. But even then, I won’t be able to rationally explain why.

Most importantly, I love the process of creating Something out of Nothing too much. If I give it to another person or a robot, life will become boring for me.

But once the text is ready, I ask AI to translate it using a prompt where I emphasize preserving the original tone as much as possible. Then I change turns of phrase and words that are not characteristic of the way I speak.

At the end, I may sometimes debate the text with AI to identify excessive generalizations, abrupt transitions, or a lack of examples.

Could I do without AI and translate it myself? Of course, but that would take a lot more time, and I don’t consider the task itself creative. Yes, I sacrifice some translation skill, but in return I have time to create something else.

So far I like this division of labor. And how do you use AI?

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Meet Your Volcano /  by Alexander Lyadov

I saw an Instagram video of different mountain bikers crashing. Some of the falls were terrifying. The most common comment was:

“It’s totally optional.”

Well, I’m not so sure. I think back to my skydives, motorcycle cornering, psychedelic rituals, and other “extreme” experiences. During those periods, I felt a pull that was hard to resist. Impossible.

Something inside insistently demands to come out, and all you can choose is how to let It manifest here and now.

Now that I’ve studied archetypal forces a little, things have become easier. It’s clear that you can’t ignore their interests. They will manifest anyway, but then it may happen compulsively and often destructively.

It’s like volcanic activity. For a tourist, it’s a sudden catastrophe. For a local, it’s routine, almost part of the plan. You can even monitor it and, while everything is quiet, soak in the hot water.

A volcano is dangerous to someone who fears it and doesn’t want to know anything about it. A few tragic eruptions are enough, and soon a person feels superstitious terror, panics, and tries to appease the powerful “evil spirit.”

The alternative is to observe the behavior of archetypes with curiosity. In what situations are they peaceful, and in what situations do they go wild? In short, study their structure, activity, and history like a volcanologist.

What helps me is the theory of Jungian psychoanalysis and a “journal of observations” in which for years I record and analyze dreams.

What has changed? My attitude toward the forces asking to come out. I’m slowly learning not to fear them, but to value them, befriend them, and even love them.

The outer and inner worlds are connected. One changes after the other.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

What’s Beyond It? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Everything will truly change when you stop giving a damn.

I know, it sounds strange, but let me explain.

Suppose something is strongly blocking you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s harmful circumstances or competitors. The more energy you devote to fighting them, the more they determine your path.

You can see this in divorces and shareholder conflicts, when besides the goal of causing damage to the hated opponent, both sides have nothing left in life.

There’s a high chance that you will both weaken, and your market will go to others.

But what if the obstacle finally collapses and the competitor is defeated?

You find yourself in the Void, frightening and unbearable. Hmm, the goal has been achieved, but why did the relief last only a moment? You’ve been fooled like a dehydrated traveler offered a barrel of seawater. Soon the thirst returns with even greater force.

So what’s the problem? Remember the instructor’s advice when maneuvering a motorcycle. You can’t fix your eyes on the cone: you have to look through the obstacle, toward your path beyond it.

To a beginner, the advice sounds crazy and scary. But once you trust it, your body miraculously steers around the cone on its own. And amazingly, the trajectory turns out to be the most efficient one!

What happened here? The obstacle lost its power over you.

Instead of “What am I against?” you remembered your priority: “What am I for?”

The cone, the pit, or the barrier are no longer super-important, and you almost don’t give a damn. Because you’re far more interested in what lies ahead. And who knows, maybe the stumbling block will turn out to be the cornerstone.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Be Authentic /  by Alexander Lyadov

I’m sharing with you a new insight from a theater director.

For the audience to believe, the role doesn’t need to be “played.” The actor must feel himself in this role as if everything really happened to him.

The secret is to be authentic, literally answering the question: “If I were in his shoes and in those circumstances, what would I personally do?”

But wait, how can an empathetic person portray a tyrant, and a quiet, modest, and respectable mother — a port prostitute?

I think psychoanalysis offers a clue: every personality contains many parts, including some unsavory ones. It’s just that life has never forced or allowed some of them to emerge.

In this sense acting can be therapeutic. In the space of the theater a person can express that part of himself which, for example, his mother, father, or work environment forbade.

The director also explained that professional actors observe other people very closely, so that later, on stage, they don’t have to invent, but can remember, passing another person’s way of being through themselves.

The same applies to any field, including business.

Just like audiences in a theater, customers respond to the authenticity of what you offer them, not to an elaborate marketing “performance.”

Does your service or product deliver tangible value to people? They will forgive imperfections in form for that. Otherwise, nothing will help in the long run.

And how does genuine value arise?

You satisfy their real need in some unique way of your own.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Move Anyhow /  by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes you just can’t get yourself to do or start something important. You seem to know how and why, but knowledge refuses to turn into action.

You need an impulse. A push. Like an ignition spark for an engine.

The beauty is that this quantum of energy can be taken from anywhere.

You need to start moving physically, doing something with your body. While moving from point A to point B, it is much easier to make a difficult call, schedule a long-postponed visit, or put your thoughts into words.

A writer I know told me that he simply can’t sit down at a desk and write like everyone else. But going for a walk with a voice recorder works like a charm!

It is no coincidence that the world’s best research centers, universities, and academies surround their buildings with wooded parks full of paths where you want to wander alone or with a colleague.

Breakthrough ideas have often visited the minds of active geniuses: in a bath (Archimedes), on public transportation (Henri Poincaré), on a Sandwalk in the garden (Charles Darwin), or in the mountains (George de Mestral).

The takeaway: if the desired action is somehow stuck, engage your body through whatever activity you enjoy most.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Best Assets? /  by Alexander Lyadov

When it’s not your car, the rust on it can be beautiful.

You can spend years watching oxygen and water tirelessly eat away at the metal.

So many colors, such a wide palette of shades, such a unique and intricate pattern!

So perhaps it’s all about owning the object. If it isn’t mine, I have nothing to lose, right? All that’s left is to admire it and appreciate it.

With material objects the problem is especially clear.

The moment you pull it new out of the box, rust immediately starts eating away at it. So you have to promptly fix the damage inflicted by entropy. Hence the anxieties, cares, expenses, and the feeling of eternal dissatisfaction.

Worse still, besides the lifeless forces, there are also people trying to stain, break, or steal your object. Out of malice or naivety — it doesn’t really matter. Alas, you have no peace.

It’s different when the object is immaterial. A lived experience. A dream. A creative insight.

It, of course, also has a lifespan and fades over time, but no one can take it away from you. In terms of possession, such an object is paradoxical: it’s sort of yours, and sort of not.

And there are better objects still. Their value grows with the number of people “possessing” them.

Trust. Hope. Play. Friendship. Love.

They give the highest return on invested resources.

That’s where it makes sense to invest, what is worth growing and multiplying.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Act It Out? Let's Not /  by Alexander Lyadov

There are no people without inner conflicts.

Life itself is imperfect in all its living and nonliving forms.

This generates one contradiction after another in our psyche:

  • individual vs collective

  • belonging vs autonomy

  • stability vs change

  • known vs unknown

  • finite vs infinite

  • letting go vs holding on

  • safety vs freedom

  • action vs waiting

  • pleasure vs meaning

  • present vs future

  • control vs trust

  • familiar vs new

  • function vs form

  • explicit vs implicit

  • order vs chaos

  • Ego vs Self

  • life vs death

  • part vs Whole

  • Self vs Other

  • body vs spirit

When left unresolved, a specific dilemma unsettles the soul, poisons the body, and tears the mind apart. And you can’t just brush it aside.

What do most people do? Right: “Well, at least something.” This means acting out an inner conflict in the outside world.

Sometimes this is acceptable, as in the case of a soccer championship. You go to a game, live through someone else’s drama, and life gets a little easier.

Some, however, choose a much worse form. This is when a person “for some reason” gets into a road rage confrontation, starts a family scandal out of nothing, or “reports” a business competitor to the FBI.

Read Greek tragedies or folk tales from around the world. How much suffering was inflicted on everyone involved in the conflict because the protagonists were not ready to figure themselves out in time.

And yet humanity has accumulated so many tools for exactly this:

  • active imagination and dream analysis

  • individual and group psychotherapy

  • dance and body practices

  • athletic challenges

  • religion and prayer

  • creativity and art

  • meditation

  • philosophy

  • rituals and retreats

  • an honest conversation with yourself, etc.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.