Dragonness /  by Alexander Lyadov

Why does the Dragon guard the treasure in myths and fairy tales?

He waits for the Seeker not before the threshold, nor after it, but right on it.

Until then, the monsters are usually smaller.

Their function is to test readiness. Treasure seekers stumble over them and lose their way. Most of them, except one.

The encounter with the Dragon is the final chord of initiation.

You can't go around him, trick him, or send someone else in your place.

Worse still, despite all our fantasies, you can't even kill the Dragon.

Why?

The Dragon is you. Me. Every one of us. Humanity itself.

More precisely, he is the part of you that you consider alien and hostile.

You are the tail, frozen in terror before your own fanged jaws.

That is why, in some legends, the victorious knight soon becomes a monster himself. The Dragon is defeated. Dragonness, unfortunately, is not.

Destruction is a refusal to understand the meaning of his "terrible" function. How was he born? Under what conditions did he grow up? Who raised him?

Most importantly, how can Dragonness be turned into something that benefits everyone?

The hero has no interest in these questions. He falls for a simple and beautiful idea: "I am good. He is evil." In his mind, he is already embracing the princess while standing knee-deep in gold and precious jewels.

In other words, the hero dreams of possessing the very way of being that belongs to the Dragon. After all, who owns those dust-covered mountains of treasure now? Who abducted the innocent beauty and keeps her imprisoned beneath the earth?

The hero's naivete and immaturity lie in the fact that he cannot see his own greed, hatred, lust, hunger for power, and thirst for glory.

He projects all those negative qualities onto the world outside himself. The Dragon embodies everything, and only what, the hero has failed to accept within himself.

The Dragon is the last obstacle between the hero and his happiness. But once the hero owns the treasure, he begins to fear losing it all. Paranoia makes him see a murderous enemy in every new traveler who passes by.

Their battle is undeniably dramatic and captivating. Yet after watching it repeated in every possible variation, it becomes unbearably boring to wonder who will win: the Dragon or his tail.

The Dragon is not protecting the treasure from man.

Quite the opposite. The Dragon is protecting man from the treasure.

This gold cannot be possessed. If it is, death multiplies.

It's time for the hero to grow up. To stop spinning in circles and biting himself.

He must discover that there is a higher purpose. Serving it will require every last resource, including a Dragonness that has been understood and transformed.

Then the curse will lift — and life in that kingdom will bloom.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Never Alone /  by Alexander Lyadov

There is a paradox when it comes to our future.

On one hand, we want favorable change. What we have today is, in some ways, openly unsatisfying.

On the other hand, we're often unprepared for the form in which the future comes knocking, so we don't open the door.

Imagine there were no surprises, and the future unfolded exactly as you had pictured it. Before long, you'd be howling with boredom and doing something outrageous just to bring a fresh current into your life.

Deep down, you hunger to feel surprise, wonder, and awe.

Of course, only if that Novelty doesn't kill you.

Let's run a thought experiment:

Suppose whatever is coming doesn't frighten you at all.

Not terror. Not even the slightest hesitation.

How many surprises from Life would you be willing to accept then?

Exactly as many as it could give you, and you could hold.

And in that case, the more unexpected, the better.

Because the unknown feeds your growth, prosperity, and development.

So the real stumbling block is the feeling of being unsafe.

It all comes down to not trusting yourself: "I won't be able to handle whatever may come."

And that's true. The world, society, and the universe are stronger than any individual.

But who keeps telling everyone: "You are completely alone in this world and no one needs you"? For some reason, it's an especially popular belief today.

As long as you believe it, that's exactly what we experience: loneliness, despair, and isolation.

But scroll through your life and mark the moments when circumstances improved "by chance," when a stranger showed you kindness "for no reason," when a brilliant idea "suddenly" arrived.

Like a rope connecting a sailor's body to the ship in a storm, something holds you.

Psychology, philosophy, and religion each have many names for this connection.

What matters isn't what it's called — but the fact that .

The more often we remember this, the more open we become to what lies ahead.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Stockpile Nothing /  by Alexander Lyadov

Create Something from Nothing.

The phrase describes the creative act — and after it, much becomes clear.

But what happens in that very moment?

Yesterday I looked at this metaphor through the lens of construction and realized:

Before you can build anything, you need raw material.

In this case, the raw material is Nothing.

Emptiness. Zero. Void.

Somehow, you have to build up a supply of Nothing.

And not just enough, but a surplus.

Because it would be foolish to begin something this important only to discover a deficit of... Nothing.

That sounds wild — but stay with it.

Where and how do you obtain this mythical raw material?

There is only one way: become a Unbuilder for a while.

That means not preserving and building, but clearing out, dismantling, letting go.

The gods Shiva, Kali, Surt, and Rudra performed the function of destruction.

It follows that Nothing is the result of turning Something into ash.

Something that has already grown obsolete, outlived its purpose, decayed, and lost its meaning and form.

Practical actions:

  • ​take a pause.

  • forgive an offense.

  • confess a sin.

  • shred stacks of papers.

  • give away old clothes.

  • leave a dead-end job.

  • say goodbye to illusions.

  • give away what's been sitting unused.

  • stop fixing what should be thrown out.

  • replace "might come in handy" with "trash."

  • stop watering what won't grow on its own.

Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Heaviest Work /  by Alexander Lyadov

“Stop doing nothing,” we've heard that voice our whole lives.

Parents, caregivers, teachers, professors — the voice absorbs them all.

It has spoken so often, and in so many different ways, that its echo never fades.

The moment you pause, it barks: "Arbeiten! Schneller!"

Silence comes only rarely, during illness, sleep, or intoxication.

It seems the voice will finally shut up only when it concludes, "That's it, this one's."

Then it will move on to someone else and start drinking his blood.

It's clear this voice is driven by fear, not love.

But where does such paranoia, relentlessness, and cruelty come from?

The one speaking in that voice fears Nothingness more than anything else in the world.

He is convinced that Emptiness, Absence, and Pause are all symbols of Death.

He wants to Live so desperately that he avoids Non-Being in every form.

Yet the paradox is that Nothing always precedes Something.

The earth is so nourishing in spring because it rested through the winter.

On the surface, it looked lifeless, still, and empty.

Below, invisible work was underway — breaking down all the old forms.

Because of that contrast, the explosive growth of spring feels like a miracle.

Doing Nothing is colossal work.

No one sees it. No one values it. They only interrupt it with a shout: "Achtung!"

Tired of running in place? Want to begin a new cycle of life?

Learn to Regularly Do Nothing.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Yahoo or Houyhnhnm? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Jonathan Swift turned our expectations upside down.

In the fourth part of Gulliver's Travels, horses turn out to be intelligent, noble, and honest beings. Humans, on the other hand, are base, greedy, and cruel — driven purely by instinct.

The Houyhnhnms embody the finest equine qualities, as if evolution had brought them to perfection by taking a different path.

The Yahoos look just like us — but they have lost the potential of the human and degraded into slaves of their passions above all else.

Swift paints the animal's ascent and humanity's fall so vividly that one thing becomes clear: the question isn't how much you were given, but what you did with the gift.

If you pay attention, you'll notice how much animals can teach us. How joyful they are to see us. How tirelessly they invite us to play. How patient they are in illness. How readily they forgive, again and again.

You don't have to look far to see how low a human being can fall. Your social media feed overflows with examples every day. And if you're honest enough to look inside your own heart — that can be sobering too.

Let's take one more step and carry this thought further: inside each of us there is simultaneously the potential of the human and the potential of the beast.

Each has an ambivalent nature. When expressed, each can inspire awe or evoke fear. And if you stop demonizing your inner beast, it can give you something no one else in the world can.

A tree reaches for the sun without trying to sever its relationship with the soil.

Perhaps you too were created to become a bridge between heaven and earth.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Disappear to Create /  by Alexander Lyadov

For the work to come out well, the doer must disappear.

A catalyst speeds up a chemical reaction, yet takes no part in it.

The musician dissolves into the melody he plays.

The business therapist becomes pure listening.

The person is there — attention sharpened, body active — but he isn't there.

The Ego disappears.

It doesn't inflate itself with importance. It doesn't claim ownership.

The finger has one function only — to point at the moon.

When no one gets in the Process's way, it flows freely, generously, effortlessly.

Only in a state of "transparency" does a person become a true Creator.

A paradox.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Eyes Up /  by Alexander Lyadov

In a garden, a park, or a forest, it's a pleasure to look around. Whatever form nature takes, it's always beautiful. Or at least fascinating.

It's different with environments built by people. A cityscape can sometimes be charming, but far more often it's bleak.

Gray buildings. A cacophony of signs. Conflict in everything from the details to the architectural styles.

The ugliness of the world affects you whether you like it or not.

"When Beauty was denied there was depression," said architect and design theorist Christopher Alexander.

By the way, people living in cities are about ​30% more likely​ to suffer from depression than those living in rural areas. And antidepressant prescription rates are inversely proportional to ​the amount of greenery around​ where people live.

Of course. Human beings and their environment are connected like communicating vessels. Or, even more precisely, like a crystal and a supersaturated salt solution in a flask.

So when a wave of gloom hits you outside, there's a simple way out:

Look up. Be still. Really look.

A clear sky, fluffy clouds, or gathering storm clouds are always marvelous. The elements are different today than they were yesterday. In fact, they change every moment.

You only need to hold back your skeptical mind: "Yeah, what's there that I haven't seen already?" Devaluing and desecrating the world is easy. Sanctifying it... that's the hard part.

A general rule: when the horizontal weighs you down, the vertical will save you.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Life Wins /  by Alexander Lyadov

Nothing in the desert is superfluous — would you agree?

If it ever was, it burned up, evaporated, or died long ago.

You may find it unpleasant to even think about Emptiness as such. The associations that come up: boredom, lifelessness, stagnation, scorching heat.

And yet you can't say the desert has no life. Little — but some.

The unbearable conditions allow only the chosen few to exist.

Tumbleweeds, dung beetles, venomous snakes, and scorpions.

And of course, quartz. After all, the desert is an ocean of sand.

In other words, it is the union of opposites. An oxymoron. A paradox.

Yes, a viper is not as beautiful as an eagle, and a cactus doesn't smell like a rose.

But notice that an eagle and a rose require stable, favorable conditions, while a viper and a cactus survive on almost nothing.

Their thorns, venom, and attraction to waste are not signs of an easy life.

More precisely, desert creatures embody life in a "terrible" form.

Life in scarcity cannot be compared with life in abundance.

The right comparison is: life under deficit — or death.

The same applies to human pathology.

Everyone habitually sees in it a flaw, an ugliness, a danger. But few people are able to find in pathology a tiny triumph of being over non-being.

This applies directly to you — to your inner world.

Something about yourself almost certainly weighs on you, irritates you, repels you, or frightens you. That is the part of you that survived in spite of whatever tried to kill it.

And unlike a viper or a cactus, that part of you can transform into something magnificent and life-giving.

Try giving it your compassionate gaze more often.

If that's hard, look for those who can see life where no one else can.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Portal /  by Alexander Lyadov

Everyone is born into this world with an existential hole inside.

It feels like an acute lack. Emptiness. Vacuum. Abyss.

The Ugly Duckling trapped in the barnyard, except the fairy tale never ends.

So the years go by, and a person longs, struggles, and suffers.

Of course, a billion ways to fill the "hole" have already been invented.

Some even argue that our entire culture exists to decorate and disguise it.

Countless industries, from alcohol to gambling, promise to help.

But the greatest temptation is the lives of other people: celebrities, authorities, influencers, and supposedly more successful acquaintances.

It seems that someone else's life contains, in abundance, exactly what she or he lacks. So the answer must be to learn, imitate, and copy another person's life, hoping your own will finally become whole.

By now it's probably clear to you that something is off here.

The world's best copying machine will never produce authenticity.

Just like power, a BMW, or crack cocaine, another person will not fill your "hole."

Looking for the answer in people, let alone things, is futile.

It's time to stop looking down or around, and start looking up.

Then the Hole can become a Portal.

Instead of Thirst, a Fountain can emerge.

The Draft of Death can give way to the Water of Life.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Let It Save You /  by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes it's worth looking back at all the defining moments in your life.

I don't know about you, but I see a clear pattern in mine:

In truly dangerous situations, it was the Body that saved me — not the Mind.

Either events unfolded at breathtaking speed, or the external pressure physically exhausted my intellect. But at the critical moment, instinct took over. Intuition. Gut feeling.. Call it whatever you want.

Guided by this sixth sense, my body made the optimal move.

I was little more than an observer. And only if I had time to notice.

What fascinates me is that it is always a pairing. On one side, the body, associated with wildness, roughness, simplicity, and dirt.

On the other, neither rationality nor irrationality, but something closer to meta-rationality: spiritual insight. Because the spontaneous action fits as perfectly as the final puzzle piece.

Figuratively speaking, a connection forms between heaven and earth. And I find myself somewhere in between. The mind disappears completely.

The experience is so strange that the risk of being misunderstood is high. The first impulse is to dismiss it, explain it away, or bury it under a blanket of words.

Don't.

May we continue to be saved by what we cannot explain.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Final Creation /  by Alexander Lyadov

"Everyone around is waiting for him to die," the woman said.

I froze in shock.

“His paintings will immediately go up in value,” she explained.

The conversation took place about 20 years ago during the Venice Biennale. At the time, I worked in the wealth management industry. Contemporary art was one of the few places where my clients' interests and mine overlapped.

She published an art magazine, knew the inner workings, and knew everyone involved — who created, who promoted, who sold, who bought. I listened with my mouth open as she walked me through the shadow side of collecting.

All that aesthetics, harmony, and beauty, it turned out, had a flip side.

At that moment, we were talking about a famous musician who also painted. Sadly, alcohol, drugs, age, and illness had accelerated his decline. He had only weeks, perhaps days, left.

And while, on the surface, crowds sipped prosecco and celebrated the vitality of the art filling the pavilions, deep below, a pack of sharks circled and fought over the creative body of a dying artist.

The race was to buy his work before the moment X. Every tactic was fair game. Money was lying on the floor, waiting for someone to pick it up. But not everyone knew the secret. And timing meant everything.

Back then, I was simply stunned by what I saw. Now I understand its meaning.

Not only a creator's life — even his death is generative.

He creates new value with his entire being. From beginning to end.

Everyone else can enjoy the fruits of his work, collect them, or resell them. They can also ignore them, criticize them, or even destroy them.

But there is one thing they cannot do: Create the way only he could.

That's why when it seems the creator is gone — he lives on among us.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Trust Your Feet /  by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes the future looks something like this photo.

The road ahead seems straight — no congestion, no obstacles.

Yet it's immediately clear that the journey won't be an easy one.

It's all about the context. Ahead lies rain, a thunderstorm, a cyclone.

Discomfort is guaranteed. There may even be a threat to life.

And yet it's impossible not to marvel at the magnificence of the elements.

What a contrast — the reliability of the earth and the unpredictability of the sky.

Even as they collide, each remains true to its own nature.

That's why, even in total darkness, your feet will find the way by touch.

However cold or frightened you are, the body can keep moving forward.

Then the weather will change, and the sun will wink through the clouds.

Nothing in this world lasts forever. Everything exhausts itself in the end.

You only need to remind yourself more often:

"I Am."

Then even at the heart of Chaos, you can find beauty worth marveling at.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

What Is Holding You? /  by Alexander Lyadov

One of the barriers to change of any kind is the rut of the Mind.

It’s such a familiar way of perceiving your environment that you stop noticing it. Like the young fish who, when an older fish asked "So, how's the water today?", looked puzzled: "What water?"

You think, feel, and act only this way. Suggest shifting your perspective just a little, and the response is confusion: "What do you mean, differently? Isn't this obvious to everyone?" Then comes irritation, anger, and so on.

How do you create the perfect drama? Trap everyone in a circle. The vigilant prison guard and the escaping prisoner live inside the same mind.

The most dangerous prison has no concrete walls or steel bars. A man draws a line in the sand himself: “You can’t go any farther. Besides, I don’t even want to.”

This becomes visible during guided imagery sessions, where the design of the exercise places no limits on participants' imagination whatsoever.

And yet you suddenly hit what feels like a glass wall — unable to do something that others, or even everyone else, can do freely. Why?

The analysis that follows helps bring to light a pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, the conditions that trigger it, and its hidden meaning. What now blocks you so painfully may once have saved you.

But to truly grasp an insight, you have to endure the discomfort of Nothingness. The transition only happens when you let go of the old vine to reach for the new one.

That means you need an environment where it's safe to be in that critical moment. Someone more experienced and mature holds the perimeter and takes care of you.

Then your chances of crossing the threshold of the River of Life safely become much higher.

Throughout history, Ritual helped people do exactly this.

Until modern man decided it was all nonsense and superstition.

And ever since, he’s been getting hopelessly stuck where nothing is actually holding him.

There’s nothing worse than blocking the flow of Being with your own body.

Why create and maintain Hell with your own hands?

There’s good news, too.

Turning a tragic situation around doesn’t require sacrifice or superhuman effort.

You can begin by accumulating experiences of “mad” being:

  • engaging creative work of any kind,

  • deep play,

  • genuine love,

  • a profound ordeal,

  • contemplating Beauty,

  • authentic prayer,

  • a living encounter with the Other,

  • voluntary uncertainty,

  • symbolic work (dreams, active imagination, guided imagery),

  • ritual.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Nightmare or Dream? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Long-term study of many dreams begins to reveal patterns.

Dreams reflect the quality of the relationships between different aspects of the personality (parts, archetypes), as well as their relationship with the Ego. In other words, the structures of the unconscious interact both with consciousness and with one another.

Well, "interact" might be too polite a word. Sometimes it's arguments, fights, or full-scale battles. There are even murders, but fortunately, death is never the end there.

What's more interesting is this. Even if a particular part behaves with extreme hostility at first, over time the relationship can evolve into respect and even affection, while fighting each other gives way to a shared mission.

Of course, that takes work: psychotherapy, dream analysis, and so on. Otherwise, your dreams get stuck playing the same record by a band called "Nightmare."

The part that filled me with disgust or terror ten years ago is now an indispensable piece of the puzzle, finally closing a hole inside me.

It turns out that when I was stung by an insect or chased by a boar, a rejected part of my personality was trying to get my attention. Unfortunately, as long as I was afraid of making contact with it, we both suffered.

Everything changed when I allowed myself to consider, within my dreams, that strange, disturbing, and even crazy behavior is not its function, but merely its form. A bite or a jab is a primitive way of making contact without words.

That's how the part I had forgotten shows its interest in me. It's tired of being alone and wants to be integrated into the whole.

The only question is: "Am I ready?"

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Garden. Forest. Cosmos. /  by Alexander Lyadov

Demand for authenticity is growing exponentially around the world.

It’s easy to see why. Social media and traditional media alike are bursting with cookie-cutter content. Everywhere you look, it’s the same playbook: clickbait headlines, storytelling, and cliffhanger endings.

The problem is that every act of copying hollows out whatever substance was there to begin with. And the harder a product tries to stand out in form, the harder it becomes to tell it apart from everything else.

No wonder people feel deceived. They came hungry, hoping for real, nourishing food, but all they’re offered is soda, chips, and cotton candy.

Nothing new is born. There is only repackaging of the already known.

Even when someone decides, “That’s it. I’ll create something from scratch,” he hits a false start. It turns out he’s forgotten how. His subconscious has been saturated with fake content for far too long.

Inside, there’s only plastic, concrete, and asphalt, but no soil. The seeds of novelty fall within, but sadly, they can’t take root.

AI turned out to be not water, but gasoline poured onto that fire. Enthusiasts dreamed AI would unleash human creativity. So far, the opposite seems to be happening. Every form of dependency is growing.

But the “machine” isn’t to blame. The temptation to imitate someone else’s “paradise” instead of creating your own has always existed, and always will.

AI could potentially become a genuine creative partner. But for that to happen, a person would have to grow sick to death of performing himself rather than being himself.

Then comes the surprise: he doesn’t actually know his authentic self.

That’s where the difficult but fascinating journey begins.

Amid the asphalt and concrete, a person creates his own Garden. Forest. Cosmos.

​Sincerely yours,​

​-Alexander​

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Friction Is Good /  by Alexander Lyadov

AMG

Friction between business partners is common.

Some people find this discomfort unnecessary — even dangerous. Most have experienced the chain firsthand:

friction → argument → conflict.

Empathetic, inexperienced, and naive people simplify the picture:

friction = conflict.

The problem is that they're all right — but only probabilistically. Every corporate war once started as a minor misunderstanding.

When two people build something together, there's a chance one will destroy the other. That risk is not zero — criminal statistics confirm it. But deception, reputation damage, or legal pressure are far more likely.

There are other scenarios too, and they’re much more likely. I remember co-founders who constantly tore into each other during meetings where we presented advertising concepts. Their partnership is still thriving today.

Friction only disappears when partners are identical. Unfortunately, that also means giving up any hope of sustained business growth.

Uniformity is physically incapable of creating anything new.

To put it simply: something new emerges where X meets Y.

Notice, not X₁-X₂ or Y-Y′. That’s simply reproducing what’s already known.

Differences are necessary — but not sufficient. What matters is accepting friction as inevitable, understanding its value, and learning to manage it: calibrate it, turn it on, turn it off.

In partnership, a paradox emerges: constructive conflict.

Your business is fueled by the very thing that destroys everyone else's.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Living Light /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown photographer

During my travels, stained glass windows in churches always intrigued me.

It wasn't the depth of the stories, the craftsmanship, or the brilliance of the colors.

Paintings and statues need your imagination to come alive.

Stained glass is always alive — light passes through it from the other side.

Sunlight moves unpredictably, playing and dancing like children.

It feels as though the familiar world has turned itself inside out.

Now you are standing outside, looking through a window into the vibrant life within.

The stained glass has become a Portal through which you can glimpse the Source.

You are here. It is there.

But through the colored rays, you are in contact with It.

Who is It? What is this Source? What light are we talking about?

It's a metaphor for your own personality.

The Source — the deep center of the personality, the Self.
The Light — vitality, libido, Eros, the very energy of life.
The stained glass — dreams as messages from the Self to the Ego.
The temple — all your structures: body, mind, and psyche.

Everything is in its proper place. Everything has its function.

All that remains is not to turn away, but to look up and recognize this Beauty.

All that's needed is not to look away, but to lift your eyes and take in this Beauty.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Quietly Waiting /  by Alexander Lyadov

You're watching a colleague, a relative, or a friend.

He keeps stumbling over the same thing and complaining about it out loud.

He goes in circles. Misses opportunities. Fails to see the risk.

Your first impulse is to share your perspective.

Stop. Last time you did, he pushed back hard.

He brushed it off. Took offense. Dismissed it.

Does he actually enjoy stumbling? Why does he do this?

For now, he is not ready to receive anything from you, or from anyone else.

So what can you do?

You can pray for him. But you cannot force yourself on him.

Assuming, of course, that he is an adult, not a child.

Out of respect for his freedom to choose, you stay nearby and wait in silence.

While he keeps bumping his head and cursing his unfair fate.

And if you truly care about him, it will not be easy.

Accepting your own powerlessness to change anything.

Trusting his ability to change on his own.

Maybe one day he'll say: "You know, I should have listened to you back then."

You'll answer: "No. It was right. It's your life, not mine."

And both of you will realize that you had been there all along. Just as now.

Now for a plot twist.

He is me. Or you. Or all of us.

The one who isn't yet ready to take in another's perspective.

The one who protects his Ego, unable to tolerate the "wrong kind" of novelty.

The one who keeps stepping on the same rake and missing unique opportunities.

Meanwhile, the one who loves me quietly waits until I am ready.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

I Am Here /  by Alexander Lyadov

I made my first bungee jump almost 30 years ago.

Yet I am still drawing insights from that experience.

For example, while falling, I was surprised to notice my clenched fists.

It was useless and absurd — but I kept grabbing at the air.

Only at the end, near the ground, was I able to open my hands.

That happened when I realized I was not going to die this time.

Only then did fear turn into euphoria.

Apparently, even Emptiness in your hands is better than Nothing at all.

The very act of grasping, however slightly, still calmed me down.

During my first parachute jump, a procedure served the same purpose.

The moment I stepped out of the plane, I became preoccupied with the checklist: “Did the canopy open? Are the lines twisted? Did I disable the reserve chute?”

By the time I'd worked through every step, I was completely calm.

Looking around, I realized I was suspended between earth and heaven.

In that moment, the whole world was divinely beautiful.

With fear gone, exhilaration filled my vessel to the brim.

What is the takeaway?

When we encounter the Unknown, fear is natural and inevitable.

Fear can become absolute, and then you are finished. You disappear.

Anything that helps you feel "I exist" will do.

I am the One Who Does something, anything: notices, acts, feels.

I am here, even when Chaos is all around me.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Together... Where? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Long ago, I came across ​Friedrich Glasl's conflict model​ and fell in love with it.

It describes nine vivid stages in the breakdown of human relationships.

It's worth thinking about the two extremes — the first stage and the last.

The end comes when one side wants to destroy the other, even at the cost of destroying itself.

"Together into the Abyss" is the final turn of the downward spiral.

Now look at how fruitfully it all begins.

"Tension" certainly brings confusion, irritation, and discomfort.

But it is also the necessary condition for creative synthesis. Any sculptor, composer, or screenwriter will tell you the same.

Everything genuinely new is born in heat and tension. An electrician would say that without a difference in potential, no electric current flows.

Uniformity and sameness cannot produce anything. There has to be some difference. And the greatest creative potential lies in opposites.

So, Glasl's nine stages of conflict tell only half the story. There is another half that remains hidden from view.

A physicist might say that "Tension" resembles a bifurcation point.

The system can collapse downward... or soar upward.

Then the opposing forces stop fighting and start collaborating

The final stage of their co-creation is called "Together into Paradise."

Down or up — the choice is yours.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.