The Hunger for Fullness /  by Alexander Lyadov

At the farthest depth of the soul, every person longs for fullness.

Total. Absolute. Perfect.

In this life, that fullness can never be reached once and for all.

Except in outrageously rare and brief moments of awe, forgiveness, tenderness, love, humility, truth, beauty, and orgasm.

The pull is so strong that it lifts us upward, the way the sky pulls a tree.

How do we know that fullness exists?

Through the experience of sharp lack.

Living this way is torment. So we learned how to distract and entertain ourselves.

Work, TV shows, alcohol, conflicts, shopping. The list never ends.

The moment we get stuck, bored, or suspended, dread rolls in.

Now pause and ask what stands between lack and fullness.

What else but the Otherness?

Everything, absolutely everything that is still unfamiliar to you, gets in the way of rounding your circle.

Strange. Absurd. Outrageous. Shameful. Mad. Repulsive. Terrifying.

That makes the focus clear: patiently study what feels most alien to you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Jealous of Life /  by Alexander Lyadov

The one who wants to kill you craves your very being.

It doesn't matter if he (she, they) does it symbolically or literally.

His words do not matter either, even when they sound arrogant, self-sufficient, and powerful. That is how he fools himself.

If you truly meant nothing to him, he would not even notice you. But instead, a Great Hunt is organized—flags, ambushes, guns, hounds, rangers.

He is in a relationship with you, even if he refuses to admit it.

You are not an obstacle, an offender, or a competitor. If you were, a harsh shout would have been enough—or at most, a trip.

But no. He feels that he must kill you. As long as you are alive, you possess what he desires with his whole soul but, alas, cannot have.

Like a blood-smeared savage cannibal, he secretly believes that frying and eating your flesh will steal all your Power.

Mana. Orenda. Axé. Väki. Qi. Baraka. Rlung. Pneuma. Ruach. Shakti.

Hamr. Furor. Egungun. Ba. Geis. Skinwalker. Nkisi. Ferg. Amok. Chindi.

The killer doesn't grasp the main thing — He. Does. Everything. Backwards.

He craves the refraction of God's spark in you. He envies your Authenticity to death. Your uniqueness kills him.

Deep down, in the dark, at the bottom of his soul's ocean, lies a skeleton. That being was the same kind as you. That's why he can't bear you. You are living reminder of why he's already dead.

The secret is this: the only way to revive a murdered part of yourself is to enter into dialogue with that Other who embodies it in this world.

For the ego, this turnaround is almost impossible. A dead loop. A paradox.

"Almost"—That's. Man's. Freedom. To. Make. A. Step. On. Faith.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Anima? Animus? Who? /  by Alexander Lyadov

In a man’s psyche lives the archetype of femininity, the Anima. And in every woman, the archetype of masculinity, the Animus. Hearing this for the first time, it’s tempting to dismiss it as madness, delusion, even psychosis.

But if you study the work of Carl Jung and other scholars, look closely at the dramas of your own life, and collect a hundred dreams, it becomes impossible to deny the presence of some Other Force within you.

It actively demands your attention, making itself known one way or another. Yes, it takes a certain skill to recognize one face behind its many forms. But the Anima’s influence on a man’s life is enormous.

In short: the quality of a man’s relationship with his Anima determines the quality of his relationships with women in general.

You can see the Anima as the ambassador of all the women in your kingdom. Still, the role of ambassador feels a bit foreign.Better this image: you are day, Anima is night.

Though some see night as a pointless waste of working hours, the wise man knows the value of both exhale and inhale. Ignore one part, and you can forget about the man's health.

The key point is this: the inner and the outer relationships are linked.

The Anima widens my acceptance of femininity in all its forms, including those that once stirred embarrassment, irritation, or fear. And lo, I become kinder and more patient with the women in my life.

But the reverse is also true. In the physical world, I can start a conversation with a woman, ask a real question, feel her answer. That experience changes me, and I come back to meet the Anima slightly different than before.

Moreover, if your life hits a dead end, you bump into a closed door and trample in place, be ready—the Other will point the way to salvation:

  • for a man, his Anima;

  • for a woman, her Animus.

Remember: inhale draws strength from exhale, and exhale charges the inhale.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Crazy Is the Way /  by Alexander Lyadov

Too often, we fear exactly what our soul craves.

THIS seems absolutely impossible. Strange. Crazy.

The gap between “I want” and “I have” feels too wide.

Alas, that blocks the very ability to think of your future, describe it, imagine it. Against Lao Tzu's advice, the journey of a thousand miles doesn't even let us take the first mental step.

In the end, you stand still, stuck, waiting for who knows what.

Strange as it sounds, in that moment, you need the Other. The one who becomes a safe, reliable, spacious vessel to hold your "mad dream" without judgment, envy, or fear.

When your hazy sense of the future takes initial shape, the seemingly opposite action is needed—step into "bodily" contact with the Reality around you.

In other words, meet the people who intrigue you, visit the spot, sketch a draft/model/prototype, and talk it over with those who seemed interested in something like it.

You won't notice how Reality draws you along, suggests the next move, builds steps in unpredictable ways.

The way out of the dead end is outrageously simple:

1) Recall your so-called mad "I want" more often, and 2) Move through the Ocean of uncertainty from one shaky ice floe to the next.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Grip Your Self /  by Alexander Lyadov

My sparring partner and I

Breathing hard after the scramble, I say to my partner: "Whew, tough going with you. That grip of yours is brutal. I couldn’t break your hand off my gi!" He laughs: “Funny. I felt the same about you. I thought your grip was steel."

Maybe I'm right about him. But I’m clearly underestimating myself.

You need an Other who actually feels your impact—on his body, spirit, and soul—and who is kind enough to tell you what you’re really like.

Of course, the Other’s view is distorted. Everyone comes with his own expectations, sensitivities, and childhood wounds. Still, if you know this and gather seven such perspectives, the Model of Self comes out “good enough.”

And if those seven turn out to be people "leveled up" in life experience, reflection, practices, and psychotherapy...

...then there's a chance to know the true Self.

The one God made you.

The one that will unsettle, delight, and surprise you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Generating Life /  by Alexander Lyadov

When it's 5°F outside and 59°F inside, the body hunts for a way out. And finds it.

“Let the harmful factor start bringing benefit,” advises TRIZ.

Dr. Rhonda Patrick explains what to do: “Brief but vigorous bursts of physical activity—called exercise snacks—may improve longevity. Engaging in exercise snacks, even as briefly as three to four minutes daily, can reduce overall mortality risk by 25 to 30%.”

By doing 50 squats or 30 kettlebell swings every 1.5–2 hours, the body doesn’t just generate heat. It generates Life itself.

By the time the frosts end, "exercise snacks" become a useful habit. Years will pass, and maybe I’ll even thank this gloomy season—the one that ignited the light.

Even if warming up in winter with a cold cast-iron kettlebell is one hell of a paradox.

Warming up in winter with a cold kettlebell? That's a paradox all its own.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Weave The Whole Pattern /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Preparing my course "​Ritual of Transformation​," I run interviews. A handful of entrepreneurs were kind enough to answer my questions.

My challenge is how to pack max value into 8–10 hours. I need to dissolve in the flask the experience of hundreds of transformations, heat it hard, and end up with a distillate cleansed of impurities.

While you stay in your head, it's hard to do. But in live talk, many questions turn to answers on their own, no effort. In the end, all my experience is co-creation's product too.

Because to solve a client's problem, it had to become mine.

More precisely, the problem became shared, even if just for the session. At first, the client and I drew close, then made distance—here's the "problem," here's "us." Like in the Paleolithic: hunters vs. beast.

No surprise, then, that now we—potential buyers and I—shape my product. They help me help them.

In the process, I truly admire these people. Men and women, mature and young, from many industries and countries. What do they have in common? Inner backbone, energy, and a hunger for life.

And most of all, a focus on creating value for customers of their products and services—by turning any “despite” into "thanks to."

Every entrepreneur is doing a Great Work (Magnum Opus), not by size, but by essence. It’s a joy to weave my thread into the whole pattern.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Mighty Mite /  by Alexander Lyadov

No one likes feeling helpless, weak, or vulnerable. A man feels like he’s fallen into the sea, with shark fins circling him.

Yet whether as a joke or a whim, Nature has arranged things so that only in this state do we truly begin to grow.

Many will rage: "How? What nonsense! The weak die, only the strong survive and grow!" That's the logic we all know.

Here’s the insight: to be strong, first you simply have to be.

That means life must first come into being. Suddenly, something arises that wasn't there before. A drop of new slips into the old world.

This is technically impossible if your vessel is sealed tight and solid. Like fused quartz, carbon, or sapphire glass.

“In case of emergency, break glass,” says the label on the lifesaving button: the fire alarm, the external defibrillator, the emergency exit release.

It’s counterintuitive. “What do you mean? Break the very thing that’s been protecting me all this time?!” you think in disbelief. Imagine the crab's "thoughts" when it's time to molt: "Everything was fine, and suddenly..."

Say, the first root of a seed, fertilized egg, newborn—symbol of weakness or strength? Don't rush. Think how mighty you must be to suddenly emerge from Nothing.

So what is the strongest in the world? What already is, but isn't yet.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Pinky's Lever /  by Alexander Lyadov

A strange tip in judo: grip your opponent's gi with your pinky and ring finger, not the index and thumb, let alone all at once. But how do you hold it that way?

Judo techniques are over 140 years old—they must know something.

To grasp this counterintuitive insight, try spinning a mace. A tight ring made with the index finger and thumb feels solid and reliable, but your hand quickly tires and a blister forms.

For long spinning, hold the mace again with pinky and ring finger, right at the very edge. As in judo, the goal isn't to "freeze" the alien Force, but to "lead" it, stay close, not lose it.

A dog on a leash or a horse in reins feels free. The owner remains invisible for a while, and then effortlessly redirects their movement.

The mace also follows its natural trajectory. All you need to do is follow it, making small corrections left and right. Your effort is minimal when your fingers hold the very end of the lever.

How does this insight apply to business and life?

Suppose you meet Chaos, that is, something you don't understand, can't rigidly fix, but that can harm you.

Beating it bone-to-bone is risky. Running away is naive. You need to make contact with Chaos—information-rich, but energy-low for you—like pinky on the end of the lever.

The grip is there, but as if not.

In the right moment, you'll feel it skin-deep, Chaos will show "vulnerability"—get carried away, weaken, hesitate—and you're right there.

Chaos doesn't even notice when it stops bothering you and starts working for you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Who Is Tormenting You? /  by Alexander Lyadov

When I first headed to India for Vipassana meditation, I feared a bunch of "what ifs":

  • What if I get poisoned by dirty food?

  • What if someone attacks me at night on the road?

  • What if my passport and money get stolen at the hotel?

  • What if I get seriously sick and can’t get proper help?

  • What if instead of retreat, I end up in a cult that brainwashes me?

None of those fears came true. India was kind to me. But there, I met a European who told how he got sucked into a Krishnas cult and barely escaped, empty in every way.

My paranoia made me plan everything and stay alert. But the food was healthy, strangers friendly, retreat rules reasonable, hotels safe, if modest.

Alas, it turned out my main enemy was me.

The goal of meditation was to hold "equanimity" (calm balance) despite any sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories. Sounds nice, if not for the pain.

No changing pose. With breaks, sure, but 10 hours of stillness each of 10 days. Very soon, old injuries spoke up. They assured us the pain would go, but...

In my solitary cell, tears rolled like hail, and I screamed full voice...

I remembered that experience with dread when I returned to India a couple of years later. On the very first day, I went to the guru and asked him about it. His gaze was kind, slightly puzzled, as he said:

“Why did you endure so much pain? Сhange your posture. The moment you started fighting the pain, you had already lost the balance you were aiming for.”

I was shocked. “So I tortured myself? And for nothing?” Too literal and zealous following of instructions. What nonsense!

That experience became a vaccine against confusing essence with form. The temptation to do that shows up almost every day:

  • being seduced by words, blind to deeds,

  • failing to see the person behind the role or title,

  • clinging to a dead past and suffering because of it,

  • demanding the letter of the law, forgetting its spirit,

  • trading future gold mines for cheap jewelry today.

But if the source of our problems is us, then... Hooray!

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Life of the Ball /  by Alexander Lyadov

The ball could easily convince itself that it gave itself the impulse.

Especially at the start, when it quickly gains speed and height.

“I pushed off with all my strength from that useless bat and took flight!” the ball would tell the birds and anyone else willing to listen to its nonsense.

Reaching the flat peak of its trajectory, the ball would begin to feel a growing unease. “I’m just tired and want to lie down on the ground,” it would keep lying to itself to the very end.

Arrogance would block any new information from entering its head:

  • What was the intention of the bat that struck it so painfully?

  • What did the one holding the bat actually want?

  • For what purpose was this whole flight set in motion?

  • What was the meaning of the Game that was impossible without the ball?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Ritual of Renewal /  by Alexander Lyadov

No matter how anyone wants it, business growth is never linear. It grows, slows, hits a plateau, sometimes even drops. Then, if all's well, it grows again. Up-down. Forward-back.

That's why the founder tires—over 10-20 years, he's ridden several waves of that "sine curve." He's tried launching transformations before, but no luck. The company’s future looks foggy. The desired growth is nowhere in sight.

First things first, own the real wins. Not how low or how many times the business fell—key is it's still alive. That "wild" love for life costs plenty; few have it.

Next, face facts: to what degree were those crises late, clumsy reactions to unavoidable trends in the world around? Bad if company renewal only comes under pressure. As Nazareth sang: "Bye, bye, too bad, too sad."

Hm, but can it be any other way?

Sure, you can't overhaul the WHOLE company CONSTANTLY. Change is temporary loss of stability, speed, control. That’s why rhythm and cycles matter.

But not all cycles are equal. One thing is to be swallowed by a massive wave that crashes over you. Another is to paddle toward it with thrill, catch it, and ride it with joy.

The problem is not the Ocean around us that keeps trying to splash us with icy water. The problem is our separation from it. The company needs sync between external and internal cycles.

This is where a ritual you deliberately create can help. A ritual that institutionalizes the process of rebirth of the corporate body.

Did you really think founding a company was a one-time act?

Soon I'll share details of my course: "Ritual of Transformation: How to Breathe Life Back into Your Company." To catch it all, reply: "I'm interested."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Art of Wandering /  by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes in senseless activity hides the most precious meaning.

I don’t just like wandering the streets of new cities — I adore it.

Casually watch passersby rush, pigeons flutter, parade of goods I don't need in shop windows... Move not where decided, but where curiosity nudges. Two steps forward, one back. Sit down.

Duck into a dark, dirty alley, ignoring the mind's question: "Why?" Sometimes just a dead end (and mind rejoices!), but sometimes I found a cute museum or shop of rare souvenirs. It's a dice game.

The charm is you can't really lose here. Got too anxious or bored? Turn around and exit by "marks" back.

But you can win an unpredictable amount. True, in an intimate sense that few people will understand. Maybe only someone who loves you and also values encounters with the hidden inside everyday life.

But you can win unpredictably much—in that intimate sense few grasp. Except the one who loves you, who cherishes the sacred in the mundane.

Now I have no chance to wander new cities. But it turns out you can do the same without leaving home. I roam in IG works of photographers from our time and past.

If it draws me in, I go deeper. If not, I move on. Long-past events and people come alive just for me. An endless Louvre — enjoy your finds all day long. Fresh-brewed coffee in hand!

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Alive at Deadline /  by Alexander Lyadov

You probably know procrastination too. What’s its point?

Usually, procrastination gets tied to laziness, dodging an uncomfortable task, or fear of failing in someone's eyes.

But what if it's the exact opposite?

Recall how it feels when you dive into work at the very last moment:

  • Inside you swell: fear and thrill, anxiety and excitement,

  • All your focus locks on one single point,

  • Other duties and problems fade into the background,

  • Your "self," and its ethernal critic, vanish—you just are,

  • You risk it all, balancing wildly on the edge of triumph or disaster,

  • It's brutally hard, but intuition whispers: "There's a chance!",

  • The past lets go, the future stops mattering,

  • No doubts about the steps to take right now,

  • Sometimes you can't tell where you end and Flow begins,

  • Your vessel fills to the brim with personal meaning.

The key? In that moment, you feel truly alive.

If that's how it goes, it's really scary. Because it means, at best, all other time drags in hellish routine. At worst, it's unconscious existence, like an ant.

Procrastination is defibrillation. Your body deliberately creates an acute crisis so that an electric shock can bring you back to life.

Then procrastination isn't the problem—it's a desperate fix. More precisely, it points to the root question:

"Why vegetate when your true Life calls?"

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Triad Instead Of Dyad /  by Alexander Lyadov

Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha) reached nirvana, but he did not stay there. Instead of enjoying the ideal forever, he returned to the human world. Which, as everyone knows, is far from perfect.

But the Buddha did not just join society. Rather, he became a different kind of environment.

To understand this, the idea of catalysis in chemistry is useful. A catalyst does several things:

  • lowers the activation energy so a reaction can begin,

  • reduces side effects,

  • guides the reaction along a more optimal path,

  • increases the yield of the desired final product.

What matters is that the catalyst itself is not consumed or changed during the reaction. It is there, yet almost not there. Its presence alters the environment, so the reactants act different.

This isn't the usual help you can't tell from violence.

Why does this odd approach work in such varied fields?

When two sides lock in conflict, no exit shows from inside. The pair needs a third. Not as a leader or a judge over them, but as a living example that tension can be endured, and that a fight with something alien can be transformed into harmony through a creative outcome.

"Ha, so it is possible to see, think, act otherwise?!" gazing at the Model that judges not, competes not, asks not, gives not.

For some, the example of the Buddha may feel too esoteric, and the example of a catalyst too down to earth. Find your fit, but catch the core idea:

By holding contradictions within yourself, you quietly change the world.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Who Planted the Grapes? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

It’s commonly believed that science is all about wow-discoveries.

Science historian Thomas Kuhn dispelled that myth. He showed clearly that most scientists are engaged in what he called “normal science.” Their work is to refine, develop, and justify existing ideas, not to discover something radically new.

90+% of scientists are busy with undoubtedly important, but still routine tasks.

And only a small bunch pushes "revolutionary science", which can replace the dominant paradigm today and find a better explanation for the growing wave of anomalous problems.

Noteworthy is the community's despair on the eve of the paradigmatic shift. Wolfgang Pauli wrote to his friend: "At the moment physics is again terribly confused. In any case, it is too difficult for me, and I wish I had been a movie comedian or something of the sort and had never heard of physics."

You see the same dynamic in business. A group of seasoned top managers wrestles with a key problem. They commission deep studies, bring in expensive McKinsey consultants…

Efforts were made, resources spent, time up, but no breakthrough.

Finally, the crisis-awakened founder steps in. At the meeting, he stuns all participants with a "crazy" idea. In response to their horror, he shrugs with a smile: "Why not?"

The founder just sparked a revolution... in their heads.

When the top managers eventually accept the new paradigm, "golden veins" will open, and passion to mine 24/7/365 will seize everyone.

This is an extremely pleasant time, like ​treading grapes​ with your feet.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Be The Tool /  by Alexander Lyadov

After calming the irritation, I stare at an empty screen and write the article from scratch. Voilà. It comes quickly. And best, the topic reveals a new edge.

With dreams, it's the same. It hurts when a dream slips away. But then I tell myself: "Listen, you get a bunch every night. If the message matters, your subconscious packs it into the next one."

It would be strange to grieve the irreversible loss of a single breath, a heartbeat, or a footprint in the sand. Sure, those treasures are unique, but they are produced nonstop.

Your product may be expensive on the market—a logo, an engineering solution, a song, a piece of business advice. But feeling a shortage of ideas is as silly as a bee worrying, “Will there be honey?”

Fear comes only from pride—as if you produced all this wealth alone. The fact I'm typing this article now doesn't mean I invented it. The text arose through me.

In the creative process, I am an instrument—or a junior partner. The ego doesn’t like hearing that. But the fear of ideas running dry vanishes. I don’t control this Source. It was, it is, and it will be.

A creator is productive only as long as he does not claim the Power as his own.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

When Life Slaps /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Why does a midwife slap a newborn on the butt?

Ah, forgive me—not “slap the butt,” but “lightly tap the back.” And not all babies, only the 9–11% who don’t cry on their own in the first moment.

If this happened to me in the maternity ward, I'm not against it at all. In fact, I’m grateful to the doctor who awakened Life in me.

Right after birth, action must be quick. Either the baby “switches on” within one minute, or resuscitation is needed in the next ten.

Maybe try convincing the newborn, explaining the danger, outlining prospects? Or sing a fun song, entertain, play? You're already laughing: "What nonsense!"

Right, in this first dead end, only Impulse can help. Simple, like in physics class, when a rolling ball transfers its kinetic energy through collision to a stationary ball.

Not through words and gestures, but directly through the body. Sharp tactile irritation -> Surge of nervous activity -> Reflexive breath -> Cry -> Hooray, the baby will live!

The seeming heartlessness and severity were, in fact, love and meaning.

The birth of something new is a rarity in our daily grind. So we don't know what to do or how to be when such a moment finally arrives.

Out of habit, we try to scare ourselves with risks, tempt with benefits, captivate with theories, or inspire with others' examples.

But in the end, we have to admit: "This isn't it." So what is "it"?

Direct bodily contact with This is needed—without any expectations, guarantees, ideas, words, or hypotheses. Let what looks like a Problem break its silence and cry something back to us.

By the way, now we can look differently at all those slaps, kicks, and bites with which Life stubbornly tries to wake us up.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Lack Or Plenty? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

“To spread joy you have to have it,” said philosopher Alan Watts. You could extend his thought: you need to have something in order to share it.

This applies to everything—fun, meaning, confidence, love. But also to irritation, gloom, hatred, and anger.

The abyss inside some people can swallow everything. No matter what you give them, or how much, it falls into darkness—without even an echo.

Better not come within a cannon shot of them. Unless, of course, a cornucopia has opened inside you and a spring of living water is flowing.

To fill someone's lack, you need surplus in yourself.

There is, however, a popular alternative: imitate fullness. If you work hard enough to convince others, you may even convince yourself.

“I’m amazing… to the extent that others think I’m amazing.”

That’s what the phenomenon of “influencing” is often about. The trouble is, deep down the person knows the truth: there isn’t even a bagel—only a hole.

But the real problem isn’t lack. Everyone has it. It's in refusing to own it and in scared tries to plug it with whatever comes to hand.

There is another option: change your attitude. “Yes, this is me. Here I have a crack, a crater, a chasm.”

Maybe that hollow is meant to be filled with something special. What if you’re not a void—but a well?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Stop (For Now) /  by Alexander Lyadov

“Why am I stuck in place, with no real change?” a person torments himself.

Stomping in place is activity pushed to the limit. There’s no strength left for it. And no meaning either.

Stopping is frightening. Why? Because there is only emptiness there. Uncertainty. Darkness.

As long as I’m flailing, I feel alive. If I freeze, it feels like forever.

This is an irrational fear planted by our culture, where you must be energetic, always running somewhere, chasing, grabbing, consuming. If you’re not dancing the “mating dance,” you’re weak, sick, or dead.

It’s ridiculous. If not for the power of nature, people would have abolished sleep. This small death takes us every night without asking. We’ve learned to live with sleep. But stopping in other areas? Absolutely not.

A man searches for a way out one way, then another, then a hundred more. In despair, he racks his brain: “What else can I do?!”

Buddha would say: "Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is."

New ideas would love to enter you, but there’s no room. For a guest to arrive, the host must stay home, clear time, and be open to meeting. No goal. Just so.

There will be plenty more movement later. But for now, tell yourself: “Stop.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.