Life is in-Between / March 2, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Dutch graphic artist M.C. Escher captured the process of meaning emerging from nothing better than anyone else. We have the chance to witness this mystery up close.

Contrary to popular belief, something doesn’t appear from nothing in an instant. The ever-rushing, unrefined gaze of people only notices a new phenomenon when it’s already nearly formed.

But the young pattern had been growing in the soil of reality for quite some time. This is the paradox of the “in-between” state—being and not being at once. At this point, you can’t know, only believe.

M.C. Escher understood this transitional state well because he lived in it himself:

“I don’t belong anywhere any more… I hover between mathematics and art.”

True life can only be grasped at the intersection:

conscious and unconscious.
transience and permanence.
structure and improvisation.
symmetry and distortion.
knowledge and mystery.
limitations and freedom.
randomness and order.
reality and imagination.
seriousness and play.
turbulence and calm.
form and emptiness.
logic and intuition.
truth and illusion.
matter and spirit.
light and shadow.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

Off and On / March 1, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Winter ended too fast. Maybe the world is churning out not just waves but tsunamis of news, leaving no time to glance out the window. Or maybe the real storm is inside us, where all our attention and energy are consumed by change.

Both are true—because the micro and macro worlds are inseparably linked.

Years ago, I was struck by an idea from philosopher and psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin: “Interaction is first”

He argued that looking at lungs and air separately is meaningless. They exist only as part of a process—through their interaction.

The same applies to everything, including the world and your own identity.

You can see it when someone feels sick, stuck, or drained. One extreme is isolation, which involves shutting down like a device unplugged from the wall. The interaction stops.

The other extreme is a short circuit, when the plug melts into the socket, fusing into chaos. That’s when a person loses himself and dissolves into a crowd, an ideology, or an archetype.

So what’s the answer? Focus on the process—not the plug or the socket.

The goal is to co-create with the world without overheating the system. You need to know when to recharge your battery and when it’s time to wake from hibernation.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Mud and the Moon / February 28, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

What’s in this picture?

Some will say, “I see a puddle, mud, and a mess of footprints, bike tracks, and tire marks.” And they’d be right—especially if they’re worried about keeping their shoes clean.

But someone else might exclaim, “That’s not all! I also see the reflection of towering trees, the twilight sky, and a full moon.”

A simple puddle reflects eternity. Beauty appears in the mud.

You can focus only on the ground or only on the sky. Or you can switch between them at will, playing with three elements: sky, water, and earth.

The eye registers only what the mind allows it to see. That’s why it’s shocking when people describe the same thing in completely different ways.

No wonder improving a business—or a life—is so hard. The mind resists new perspectives. It ignores unpleasant facts, even when they’re lined up right in front of it.

In the end, reality forces the mind to see—through the sheer scale and frequency of suffering.

How can we speed up that process? For me, the best catalyst is another person. Someone wise. Someone who sees the divine spark in me and truly wants what’s best for me.

Do you have someone like that in your life?

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unlock the Flow / February 27, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine your hands start fighting, each convinced that “Bolivar can’t carry double,” and only one must win. While they struggle, your whole body freezes, wasting energy and time.

Even if you manage to focus on something else, your efficiency is never 100%. It’s like paying off a debt to the mafia or rowing a boat with a hole in the bottom.

Now, what if you’re not fighting just one internal battle, but three—or five?

You have just enough energy to survive, but not to live. Creativity and freedom? Forget them. You need overhead wires to move forward and rails beneath you to stay on track.

Every unresolved dilemma is a hole in your boat. IWhether it’s about business, family, or studies doesn't matter.

You can always recognize a dilemma—it hums in your head like a diesel generator or a transformer box. Over time, you get used to the noise, but it subtly drains your mood every day.

And when the change finally comes, you can’t miss it. The moment a dilemma weakens, out of nowhere comes a hunger to live and create.

I feel this every time therapy unlocks something inside me, like a door clicking open. I see it happen to my clients, too, in business therapy.

Harmony is when nothing gets in the way of the flow of life.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The World You See / February 26, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

The world is dull and ugly only to the extent that we see it that way. One person showers mechanically in the morning, never noticing how unpredictable and gentle the water flows over his skin. Another captures an ordinary night city in an unforgettable cyberpunk style.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “People who don’t believe in human kindness rarely encounter it.” We can rephrase that:

“People who don’t believe in the beauty of their own soul rarely encounter the beauty of the world’s soul, even though it’s everywhere.”

The concept of the world’s soul (Anima Mundi) appears in Platonism, Stoicism, Hermeticism, and other traditions. It is:

nature’s life force;
the foundation of existence;
the hidden harmony of all things;
the divine energy that connects everything;
the all-pervading intelligence that governs the universe.

We see only what we want and what we are capable of seeing. The material world is both the artist’s canvas, brush, and paint. At the same time, it is empty nothingness, a meaningless mess, and a masterpiece.

That’s why the beginning of all change is how you see yourself.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Secret Power / February 25, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Not all of us are lucky enough to grow up surrounded by acceptance and love—the kind where people appreciate our uniqueness and, even more, teach us how to protect and develop it.

More often, we grow up around people who don’t know themselves and are exhausted by the chaos of their own lives. They just want this little creature—you—not to add to their burdens.

Some are even willing to love you, but only in a certain form. The moment you step outside their expectations, they get irritated, disappointed, and feel the need to tame you. You can’t even blame them—it’s instinctive, like a hiccup or a knee-jerk reflex.

To survive and get even a scrap of care, we learn to distance ourselves from who we really are. We realize it’s not safe to be ourselves in this world. So, we lock away our strangeness in the dark catacombs of the soul.

And then, one day, life backs us into a corner and hisses in our ear: "Live or die!" That’s when our hidden power awakens and—miraculously—sets us free.

"What was that? Did I really do that?" we wonder. But soon, we forget—until we hit another dead end.

This cycle repeats for years until, one day, we’ve had enough. We can no longer ignore two things: the absurdity of stepping on the same rake over and over again, and the existence of a priceless resource within us—wasted, untapped.

A rare stroke of luck is finding someone who finally teaches us how to face the unknown, the terrifying, the rejected parts of ourselves. More importantly, how to make peace with them—how to trust and befriend them.

And as you learn to love and cherish your Suchness, you’ll give others the very experience you once longed for. That alone is worth the price of self-discovery. And the best part? Your superpower grows stronger every day.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Heal Inside, Transform Outside / February 24, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Why do people try to change the entire world and make everyone happy? Because they can’t stand their own inner world—and they are deeply unhappy. They try to plug the black hole in their soul with external objects.

Their efforts are futile. They have nothing effective to offer. Why? Because when they look at others, they don’t see real people. They see their own projections.

And you can’t fix what you don’t understand—you can only break it further. They can’t stop fighting against society’s “corruption.” But after years of struggle, they no longer have the strength to continue. Some burn out physically, others mentally. But a few—luckily—let suffering burn away their lies.

Finally, their gaze shifts to where it always should have been: inward.

This is where the miracle begins. As a person brings himself into harmony, his world naturally improves. Like ripples from a stone thrown into water, his transformation spreads to his family, his friends, and even strangers.

The emptiness inside turns into an abundance, a spring of living water, like melting mountain peaks or a hidden forest well. Such a person changes the world—not by trying to, but simply by being.

It’s as if he silently offers a choice: “When you’re ready, join this creative dance—Life.”

Like in that video—nothing grand, no tectonic shifts—just a chalk drawing on the sidewalk. Some walk past. But many stop, jump into the game, and laugh like kids.

Never underestimate the power of a few seconds of pure joy.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Maturity’s Secret / February 23, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Children don’t know the difference between possible and impossible. Anything can exist and not exist at the same time.

Later, experience piles up, and rules sink in. A defense against catastrophic mistakes develops. But at the same time, the lift to the top disappears.

An adult is someone who has stopped dreaming and now lives by calculation. Predictable. Reliable. Safe. He won’t surprise you, but he won’t disappoint you either.

However, true maturity belongs to the one who rediscovers the child within—without abandoning the adult. This opens the door to the best of both worlds:

Curiosity and care.
Play and discipline.
Vision and execution.
Openness and insight.
Flexibility and resilience.
Courage and responsibility.
Spontaneity and awareness.
Belief in miracles—and the ability to create them.

In the 8th century, Zen master Qingyuan Weixin said:

“Before I studied Zen, mountains were mountains, and rivers were rivers. When I began my practice, mountains were no longer mountains, and rivers were no longer rivers.

But when I reached enlightenment, mountains were mountains again, and rivers were rivers again.”

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Business Needs a Kick / February 22, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Business is strikingly similar to a football.

By itself, it’s inert, always seeking rest.

When it rolls, friction slows it down. When it flies, gravity pulls it back. Even when still, time wears down its surface, and tiny organisms break it apart.

A ball serves its purpose only when someone acts on it—cleaning it, kicking it, sending it forward.

Some founders see business differently—as a living organism. It’s a good metaphor, but flawed. It creates the illusion that one day, the business will run itself.

It won’t. Like a bonsai tree, it will always need its owner—watering, pruning, protection from disease, and careful tending of the soil.

You can sell your business tree—through a private deal or an IPO—but whether it thrives or withers depends on the balance of order and chaos in its new owners’ minds.

So don’t dream that your ball will one day turn into an eagle.

But here’s the good news: you can stop ruining it—leaving it in the sun, tossing it in a river, kicking it into traffic.

Most importantly, learn to strike with power, precision, and distance. While the ball soars and rolls, you can pause, catch your breath, and look around. Who knows? The game may have changed, and a better goal may have appeared.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Edge of Balance / February 21, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Walk a tightrope with your head tilted to the left.

Or squat with a barbell while placing a weight plate under one foot.

How far can your Bugatti go if the brake pedal sticks?

Asymmetry is usually short-lived. Heated liquid releases warmth into the air until its temperature matches the environment. When you overheat, you sweat. When you freeze, you shiver.

Tilt, imbalance, and asymmetry define a system’s transition from state A to state B. This shift is dangerous when beyond your control and sudden.

In business, this means:

It’s better to trigger inevitable transformations yourself.
You build opposing forces into the system to keep it stable.

Ultimate mastery is the art of harmonizing elements that repel each other, clash fiercely, and can blow everything apart:

Competition and cooperation.
Discipline and spontaneity.
Strength and vulnerability.
Tradition and innovation.
Freedom and constraint.
Analysis and synthesis.
Logic and intuition.
Risk and security.
Trust and control.
Past and future.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Dragon’s Gift / February 20, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

The path to your fountain of the water of life is always guarded by dragons.

For each of us, that water means something different:

Growth and self-improvement.
A flood of creative ideas.
Sexuality.
Energy.
Youth.
Power.
Success.
Meaning, and more.

Since childhood, we've known this fountain exists. Our lips remember the taste of the water of life, our cells recall its strength. Sometimes, in dreams, we get a glimpse of that charming sense of freedom, play, and boldness.

The first challenge? Figuring out where and how to find it. Schools don’t teach this. Families don’t explain it. Universities don’t hand out maps. So we stumble for years, blind and lost, like newborn pups.

Then one day, the truth dawns on us—the fountain was inside all along. After searching everywhere, we come back to where we started.

It should be simple: reach out, take a handful, and drink. But no—something always blocks the way. A chasm, a labyrinth, a fire-breathing dragon. And each of us faces a different beast:

Fear.
Pride.
Doubt.
Shame.
Hatred.
Disgust.
Contempt.
Self-sabotage.

The irony? Fighting the dragon is pointless—because the dragon is you. Or rather, the part of you that was cast away, forced to dwell in the dark caves of your subconscious.

Don’t like hearing that? Then you'll spend your life battling dragons—seeing them in other people, in the chaos of the world. And one day, you’ll wonder why you have no energy left.

The dragon isn’t the enemy. You must understand him, tame him, and put him to use.

Then you can bathe in the fountain of the water of life all day long, while the dragon faithfully guards you from all hostile forces.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Seeding the Void / February 19, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

I used to be afraid of the empty white screen. Now I love it.

My perception changed—the screen stayed the same. It pressed down on me every time, relentlessly: “See this lifeless void? Empty. Nothing will ever appear.” Hesitant, my mind agreed: “It’s logical, unfortunately.”

The mind can build intricate and valuable worlds using only ones and zeros. But every time you hit it with a direct question, it stumbles, gets angry, and freezes:

“What was there when there was nothing? And how did one emerge from zero?”

Modern culture shrugs off this uncomfortable question. It’s easier to pretend things have always been this way. People are like wolf pups, hungrily suckling their mother. They don’t care where the milk comes from—only that there’s plenty.

But sooner or later, the harvest ends. Winter comes. The gaze meets the “empty screen”:

A business owner has built something great but lost interest.
A CEO complains about a crushing lack of leads.
A startup founder hears “No” from every VC.
A manager smashes into the glass ceiling.
An investor has capital but no new ideas.

The earth lies beneath a thick layer of snow—dormant or dead, who can tell?

And yet, the picture is missing one tiny detail. The one that makes the great mystery happen. The thing the mind can’t grasp and later, helpless, calls an axiom.

Suddenly, on the white canvas, a barely visible dot appears.

Some external force pierces through inert matter. Ice cracks. Snow melts. Beneath it, the earth awakens—ready to receive the seed and unlock the power of the new.

And who is the mysterious sower? You, of course!

The Creator is the white sheet, the pencil, and the One who guides the hand.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Price of Your Isolation / February 18, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

“Pretty good body evidence suggests that if you have cataracts, you have a high risk of dementia. That risk is reversed if you have cataract surgery,” says neuroscientist Dr. Tommy Wood.

Turns out, losing sensory perception—sight, hearing, or smell—can lead to cognitive decline.

If you think of yourself as a separate, self-sufficient organism, this sounds silly. So what if you can’t hear as well anymore—what’s that got to do with your brain?

But according to the second law of thermodynamics, entropy (the measure of disorder) in any closed, unbalanced system will inevitably rise. Left to itself, the system self-destructs from within.

In reality, a person isn’t separate from his environment. As long as he interacts with it—implicitly or explicitly—he grows, thrives, and lives. Long isolation means decay, madness, and death.

This insight applies to all systems—individuals, companies, and even nations. If a government suppresses free speech, the flow of new ideas slows, and the state begins to wither.

Wise founders guard against “corporate dementia” by stimulating their minds through others—a therapist, an independent advisor, a board of directors, or a business club.

If disorder is rising in your mind or your company, don’t isolate yourself to “figure it all out alone.” Find people who can help you break out of your box.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Creator's Gaze / February 17, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Look at this photo—tell me it’s not a masterpiece. The sand dunes of Namibia reveal an ascetic beauty in bold contrast. Reality outshines Photoshop, art, or dreams.

But without the photographer’s eye, nature’s magnificence would vanish into oblivion.

A phenomenon takes shape only when a person becomes aware of it. Otherwise, the universe’s potential remains locked within itself, never manifesting. The ouroboros forever bites its own tail.

This is true not just of the world around us but also of the one inside us.

"Vision is the foundation. Without it, growth is impossible," my therapist once explained. Without self-awareness, a person drifts through life like a jellyfish, a tumbleweed, or a glacier—just a chain of physical and chemical reactions. Nothing more.

To truly live, a man must wake up and rise above instinct.

The gaze shapes human potential like a sculptor’s chisel on marble. Inert matter comes to life. A rough stone gains direction, purpose, structure, and beauty. But what sparks the desire to open one’s eyes?

More often than not, it’s suffering. A breaking point comes when, despite all efforts, the gap between what a man desires and what he actually gets grows unbearable.

Personal transformation happens faster and with less pain when another person’s gaze guides and supports your own. Like two axes, they intersect to form a new system of coordinates.

It’s no coincidence that the first line of the Gospel of John reads:

"Ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος, καὶ ὁ λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν θεόν, καὶ θεὸς ἦν ὁ λόγος."

One translation:

"In the beginning was the Logos, and the Logos was with God, and the Logos was God."

Logos is awareness, will, the act of awakening the world to life.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

A Look Into the Soul / February 16, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Want the person you're talking to to open up? It is simple—you have to forget yourself. Even if only for a moment, your attention must belong entirely to him or her.

That’s easy when the person in front of you is deeply intriguing. Or at least if it answers the questions that have haunted you.

Not everyone can focus on another person like that. Your curiosity must outweigh your self-centeredness.

The simplest solution? Be selective about who you have deep conversations with. Interest, like a wildcat, won’t come when forced or lured—it arrives on its own.

But the ultimate skill is seeing something in a person truly worthy of your attention. Call it what you will—a hidden light, a divine spark, or a mysterious play of shadows.

This takes kindness, maturity, and an understanding of people—so you don’t recoil from the strange shapes that hide their true selves.

And when do you finally accept all the ugly, terrifying, unbearable sides of human nature? The moment you find at least a drop (more like an ocean) of it within yourself.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When Is It Real? / February 15, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Something from Nothing—I love this phenomenon. I seek it out and find it everywhere. Sculptors, inventors, rappers, and entrepreneurs—they're modern-day magicians. After all, to the audience, their results look like magic.

But does anything truly valuable—a work of art, a discovery, a poem, or a company—emerge from a vacuum?

There may be a better explanation. Perhaps the thing was there long before, but the brain ignored it or the eye failed to notice.

Was David always inside that rough block of marble?

Did the painting exist before the artist put it on canvas?

Is a tree already there when a seed breaks soil with its first root?

When does a business truly exist—when the founder gets fed up with the industry's rotten status quo, or when he takes the company public?

It’s foolish to dismiss a vague problem, a hypothesis in the mind, or a sketch on a napkin. Lack of a solid form is no argument. How many mighty corporations have vanished overnight?

The one who understands this secret can see—and create—miracles.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Cross of Creation / February 14, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

Opposing forces always collide. Their vectors cross like samurai swords from rival clans.

Difference breeds distrust, fear, and the urge to erase the opponent—or at least suppress him. It feels like his very existence threatens prosperity, harmony, and peace.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The victor, having rid himself of his hated counterpart, soon finds himself stuck. The land bears no harvest, his subjects have no ideas, and the ruler has no heir.

If new life can emerge anywhere, it’s at the center of the cross. The birthplace of everything is the point of highest conflict.

How can that be? You’d agree that a problem and its solution are intimately linked, right? One implies the other. They are two sides of the same phenomenon—“before” and “after.”

Conflict, then, is the original problem. Paradox is its clever resolution. Someone has to make this transformation—someone who sees contradiction not as a death sentence, but as an interesting challenge.

The best illustration? The meeting of masculinity and femininity. No forces are more alien to each other. When they come into contact, they’re always one step away from a fight.

Their interaction is most destructive when either side tries to weaken, suppress, or erase the other. That’s how life’s energy is wasted. Cynicism takes hold. Meaning disappears.

But when they form an alliance, the potential for growth is limitless. The cross of suffering becomes the point of origin. Out of nothing, everything is born. The synthesis of forces creates new meaning and form.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Change in Many Forms / February 13, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

"Do you see the dynamics?" my therapist asks. "Not sure :)," I reply. She points to the facts. "Oh, right! You're absolutely correct!" I admit, while wondering—how could I have missed this?

This is how the gaze of Another works—it fills in the picture of you that you couldn’t see yourself.

If therapy is effective, change happens naturally—like an embryo forming inside an egg as the mother hen keeps it warm.

The person has already changed, but he feels like he’s always been this way.

And that’s how it should be. True transformation isn’t about grafting something foreign onto you. No, it unlocks the potential that was always there but had been dormant or blocked.

But sometimes, even I can see the difference between before and after. That means the shift is sudden, deep, and vast. I find myself doing things that once seemed impossible, while my mind watches in shock, refusing to believe this is real.

Then there’s the in-between state—the insight that comes in a dream. Like last night, when a flash of awareness shot through me. It was as if a key turned in the lock of an important door.

Yes, these changes haven’t yet appeared in the physical world. But I’ve seen it happen too many times to doubt it—everything visible begins as something unseen. You need a gardener’s patience. The seed must first take root deep in the soil before it can send its sprout toward the sky.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Fragile Tyrants / February 12, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

The hardest people to deal with are the fragile ones. It feels like you’re trying to navigate a china shop with a backpack and a fishing rod. At any moment, you brace for the crash of shattered porcelain and the inevitable cry of outrage.

If someone's sensitivity is limited to one or two issues, it's manageable. You just remind yourself to steer clear, and that’s that. The wound may never heal, but at least it’s contained. You fence it off, put up a sign, and move on.

But for some, Fragility is their second name. That means you’re doomed to “ruin everything” just by existing in their world. Stay silent in the “wrong” way, and it’s Armageddon.

Such a person is a trap—a snare waiting to spring on everyone.

You can’t help but admire the elegance of how the victim transforms into the hunter. If everyone around you is forever in your debt, no matter what they do, isn’t that the ultimate power?

This Luciferian dominion is all the sweeter because it wears the mask of innocence. The world sees only virtue, never violence. A cunning player can wreak havoc, hunt at will, and never raise suspicion.

“A victim always dreams of switching places with his persecutor,” a wise therapist once told me. And if he dreams of it, he’s only waiting for the right moment to strike.

But revenge is not salvation. It is just dragging another soul into the abyss. Knowing this, the most important thing to resist is the temptation to play the victim.

Every day, fate and people hand us reasons to surrender. They whisper, “See? Nothing depends on you. Let others take the blame. Let them pay the price. You are owed.”

To agree is to hand over your crown to thieves. Because agency—the right to rule your own kingdom—is divine.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Leaning on Nothing / February 11, 2025 by Alexander Lyadov

You can rely on the unknown. Sounds crazy, right?

And yet, that’s the key to salvation I’m learning now. To stay grounded, an insight must enter the mind through the body. For me, that’s Sutemi Waza—sacrifice throws.

In judo, these techniques involve the attacker deliberately falling onto his back, side, or stomach to drag his opponent down and execute a powerful throw. When your opponent is stronger, you have no choice but to turn his weight and momentum against him.

But there’s a cost. If the move fails, you’ll become even more vulnerable. Worse, you lose your footing and plunge into nothing.

Psychologically, this is hard. The mind resists while the body tries to follow through. The result? A weak, half-hearted attempt. There’s no in-between—you either go all in or walk away.

Luckily, you can create support out of thin air. Like a spider weaving its web midair, you build a structure in freefall—out of your opponent’s body and your own.

Your opponent instinctively resists, trying not to fall with you. That tension creates a system of opposing forces. It’s temporary, unstable, yet surprisingly strong. And most importantly, you control its direction.

The psychoanalyst Marie-Louise von Franz once wrote:

“Without a doubt, facing the unknown—without knowing what lies ahead or whether you’ll endure the darkness—is one of the hardest tasks. The deepest human fears and panic are tied to this uncertainty.”

(my translation)

For most people, chaos is a terrifying void. But if you take the initiative, it gives you the raw material for a web, a trap, or a net.

This metaphor runs deep. A spider spins its silk from within. Likewise, a person pulls elegant solutions from the dark depths of his own nature—an enigma that remains forever unsolved.

Maybe the unknown inside us is far more terrifying than the one outside.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.