Two Sides of Chaos / January 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

"Every startup is a disaster until it is not," entrepreneur and investor David Friedberg nailed it. It's hard to grasp for those accustomed to cushy conditions – that's most folks. They tackle familiar tasks by grabbing a handy tool off the shelf, that someone else thoughtfully bought for them.

To regular folks, the risk of "crazy" founders would become clearer only if every single day they face:

The impossibility of sharing responsibility with anyone.
The threat of unjust firing right before triumph.
The duty to solve never-seen-before problems.
Shame for betraying the trust of many.
Public humiliation labeled as "loser."
Loss of all personal funds.

No wonder startup founders often swing between ecstatic excitement and borderline paranoid anxiety. So much can go wrong. And it surely will.

Until success unexpectedly lands on one out of ten. Such a high cost and such low odds of victory. What drives them?

Some will say it's the thirst for wealth, control, and power. Others will point to a higher tolerance for risk. The rest will highlight a desire to leave a mark in history and improve people's lives.

I believe the explanation lies in Chaos. Like any phenomenon, it has two sides. The price of uncertainty is visible to the naked eye. But the proximity to catastrophe also completely unleashes human potential. Danger compels a person to reveal hidden or undiscovered abilities. Anything goes in a deadlock.

Thus, it's not the outcome (money, status, influence) but the entrepreneurial process itself that instantly bestows:

Participation in achieving the impossible.
Absolute freedom to be who you are.
Personally crafted meaning.

For founders, such gifts outweigh almost any sacrifice.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

How Living Systems Self-Destruct / January 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When do countries, companies, or individuals prosper?

They thrive when nothing stands in the way of the free creators.

Their work adds floors and renovates the foundation.

Unfortunately, people often trample the source of the "water of life".

They produce an excess of laws and rules that constrain the creator.

But why?

They are driven by the fear of losing what they already have.
Their arrogant mind thinks it knows everything.
They seek control over the process of creating 1 from 0.

One day, the creator wakes up, unable to move a hand or a foot. Overnight, Lilliputians entangled Gulliver with a million threads.

From this moment, such a "system" will break, wither, and decay.

For a state, this period may take 69 years, as with the USSR. Due to competition, these businesses collapse within a few years. A person drags through existence, filling the emptiness inside with alcohol.

What can be done to prevent this undesirable scenario?

To begin with, analyze the collection of laws and rules.

Then, identify destructive rules and eradicate them.

Finally, repeat this exercise regularly as a ritual.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Free From Your Myth / January 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

On the canvas, Sisyphus is stubbornly pushing a stone uphill.

People comment on Instagram: "Why isn't the stone black?"

I think the artist chose the perfect color.

Blue is the color of hope.

The gods punished Sisyphus for trying to cheat death.

But the myth doesn't explain why he continued his senseless labor.

My guess - the gods made him believe in the possibility of success.

I often observe this phenomenon in business therapy.

The founder replays the unfortunate scenario over and over.

Why? He (or she) is convinced: This time it will be different.

One false assumption disrupts the entire "system."

In his perception, the stone has the color of the sky, not black soil.

As long as he's in the grip of illusion, resources will be wasted.

Symbolically, my goal is to help the hero of the myth lift the curse.

For that, the founder needs to see reality for what it is.

He's stuck in a time loop, turning his life into torture.

The mistaken assumption is implicit, so the key is to voice it.

Having seen reality, it is impossible to unsee it.

Immediately or after some time, but changes are inevitable.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Your Sanity in a Crazy World / January 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Looking around, it's easy to get down. Feels like the world's heading south:

In the ashes of religions, ideology weeds sprout.
Tech progress speeds up people going backward.
Civilized society smashes its own foundation.
Democracies turn into dictatorships with surprising ease.
Prisoners of war are tortured as in ancient times.
Angry crowds burn heretics in digital bonfires.

Hoping that Mars colonization, AI, or universal income will change human life for the better is naive at best.

A millennium of culture is like pollen, not even a beast's skin. One gust of History, and we hear the beast's soul-chilling howl.

Antibiotics, industrialization, and the internet caused a revolution. But human nature stays the same. Despite aspiring to holiness, humans regularly regress to the level of chimpanzees.

But don't rush to be sad — there's good news.

If all attempts to "build our new world" lead to nothing, isn't that a clear sign of better path?

The only things you control are your spirit, mind, and body. And if you're honest with yourself, it's clear how hard it is to change them.

The size of these efforts burn the illusion that someone can be helped from outside, especially if they didn't ask.

But when you manage to untangle the mental "knot," turn a curse into a gift, or kick a bad habit, that victory is yours to keep.

Furthermore, you observe that internal changes "coincide" with positive shifts in your immediate circle.

Conclusion: don't worry about the world's clutter — you have plenty to do within.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Please Speak / January 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Han Chengli, Inner Mongolian Child, 2003

"In the beginning, there was the word..." That famous idea isn't random.

There are many reasons why this is true. Here's one, for instance.

When people stay silent for too long, conflict arises. If the energy can't find an outlet, the closed system within bursts from within.

Suddenly, a people snap, and their reaction (violence) is excessive.

They got a release, but now it's shameful to recall the incident.

Alas, between the impulse and the action, an important step is missed — the word. The beauty of words is that they're like prototypes, models, and drafts. Implicit meaning transforms into explicit form. Finally, you can grasp it, try it on, and evaluate.

Most importantly, words allow you to receive feedback. Others or even you yourself can now express your attitude toward what was implied in those words.

Thanks to this back-and-forth exchange, you can quickly dispel illusions, correct mistakes, and see the essence. And the cost of this exercise is minimal. In heated debates, there are no life threats.

You probably thought, 'Hmm, this is obvious.' But somehow, when it's not society, but the individual, it's not obvious anymore.

A person repeats like a mantra, 'I am OK, I am OK, I am OK...', even though the temperature and pressure in his 'boiler' is rising. Not only those around him but also their subconscious are genuinely concerned. Excuses, forgetfulness, losses, mistakes, and strange dreams multiply.

Either symbolize the inner conflict in words, or be amazed by its manifestation in actions. Even such a simple step as keeping a diary brings relief. Even better if there's a friendly person in front of you.

Ideally, he or she is a professional who knows how to listen not to what was said, but to what you were trying your best to say.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Human Under Pressure / January 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Yesterday, once again, I watched the movie "12 Angry Men."

It's among my top ten favorite films. But why?

The film is black and white. It's been in theaters since 1957. The entire story unfolds in one room, symbolically locked up. A group of jurors must deliver a verdict for an 18-year-old defendant.

Doesn't sound very exciting, right? However, once you start watching it, you're unlikely to pause, even for a bathroom break. You become a witness to a fire, and the drama completely engrosses you.

We first saw it at the Chicago Business School 20 years ago. The professor used it to illustrate decision-making dynamics in a group and the transfer of power in a managerial setting.

But the film offers more insights than a businessman can grasp. A psychologist will notice examples of repression and acting out. A sociologist will relish the stages of conflict development. An existentialist will appreciate the sharp personal choice as a problem of freedom.

Moreover, this film teaches how to withstand societal pressure while remaining true to yourself. With the global rise of Tribalism 2.0 and the leaning towards dictatorship from both left and right forces, the ultimate question becomes how the individual can stay Human.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Edge of Freedom / January 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

No matter how bad you feel, there's always someone who's worse off. Looks like hell has no bottom, even on Earth. And if nature has its limits, human malice will break through every floor.

Other people's suffering can shock you and touch you to the core. However, with time, the impression will soften, and your back pain or job loss will be priority #1 again.

In other words, our problems eventually overshadow the problems of others. So, no one is ever comforted by advice like, 'Just think about how bad they had it! You're lucky compared to them.

However, the tough experiences of other people can change us just as profoundly as our own. It's not about the absolute magnitude of suffering but HOW those people endure it.

Do they face their fear head-on? Do they keep themselves together in a moment of disaster? Do they inspire others? Do they find meaning in their pains? Do they keep fighting when chances are slim? Do they radiate light when darkness consumes them? Do they remain Human, against all odds?

Attitude, choices, and actions are what change us. In others' experiences, we discover that creative spirit that's also within us. "What one man can do, another can do," said Charles Morse in my favorite movie "The Edge."

We simultaneously feel inspiration and anxiety. It's one thing to recognize our potential, and another to bring it to life. How we will act when our turn comes, we don't know. But the choice, and therefore freedom, we surely have.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How to Love a Dragon? / January 20, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A big alligator rubs its snout against a man's cheek.

"Oh, my god, he loves you so much!," the onlookers coo.

"No, he does not," says wildlife biologist Christopher Gillette, "This is not a Disney movie. I love him, he doesn't love me. He would kill and eat me if I were to let him."

"Yea, but right now he is not attacking you. This means he loves you," the tender-hearted insist.

To illustrate, Chris snaps his fingers near the alligator's mouth, deftly pulling away his hand in an instant. "I know how to orient my body in a position so that I didn't get bits. The secret trick is having skills."

It's not what it seems. But only an expert can understand the difference.

We perceive the world through the lens of personal experience and culture. We try to fit new experiences into the molds we already have.

Even if the molds don't fit the specific phenomenon, we won't easily let go of them. After all, we don't have others. And to be left alone, face-to-face with novelty, is a symbolic death.

But clinging to inadequate forms is also dangerous. We're like a child reaching for a bear cub, asking, "Can I pet this dog?" Reality harshly punishes ignorance, naivety, and carelessness.

But what if we regularly encounter novelty anyway?

Firstly, don't lie to yourself, i.e., separate the imaginary from reality.

Secondly, be aware of where your competence reaches its limits.

Thirdly, quickly learn a new phenomenon.

Ideally, with the help of an expert who has been there, done that.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unlocking Your Shackles / January 19, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Our entire life is a series of negotiations with someone:
- competitors,
- colleagues,
- officials,
- partners,
- clients,
- family,
- pets,
- fate,
- oneself.

"Negotiation is won by whoever cares less," noted entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant.

Entering into negotiations implies that you need something from the other party. The higher the stakes, the more evident it becomes that the opposing party possesses what you desperately lack.

In the worse case, you forfeit your freedom, becoming dependent on the other. Civilized negotiations turn into a wild confrontation between prisoner and jailer.

As a wise psychotherapist once said, "The victim always dreams of swapping places with the oppressor." This fosters an irresistible and easily justifiable desire to eliminate "evil" by any means necessary.

This explains why long-time business partners may resort to filing criminal charges against each other. Or why spouses, who have raised children together, turn everyone's lives into hell during a divorce. Convinced of its righteousness, "good" goes all the way.

To avoid turning ordinary negotiations into an epic battle of light and darkness, you must protect yourself from yourself. You heard it right— resist the temptation to play the victim.

To achieve this, your counterpart must lose their "exclusive" status. When their offer is met with a viable alternative, your opponent loses all power over you. This alternative can and should be created by you.

For example, you can:
- announce a tender,
- clarify true interests,
- review hidden assumptions,
- form an unexpected alliance,
- break down the whole into parts,
- broaden the horizon of events and relationships,
- separate the essence of what you need from the literal form, etc.

In essence, you always possess both the chains and the keys to unlock them.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What I Can't Forget / January 18, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Looking back at the work from XX years ago, what comes to mind?

Challenges? Incidents? Achievements? Rewards?

I instantly recall how excitingly we spent time together.

Yes, our team crafted Wow-brands for daring clients. We made our mark in the advertising industry. And the growing dividends impressed shareholders every year. However, all those ratings and numbers kind of faded over time.

I also need to strain to recall the difficulties, arguments, and dead ends. Of course, there were plenty.

Yet the feeling from the co-creation process in me is still fresh.

I'd think I'm the only one this odd. But my former colleagues regularly admit they can't forget that period either.

Another example is our internet startup, which wasn't exactly a success. Still, every time we meet with co-founders, we reminisce about our wild brainstorming with great warmth.

Why? Because creating Something from Nothing is always a miracle. That experience redeems tears, nerves, and sweat. It's a reward in itself.

In that moment, you forget about yourself and genuinely live 100%. Creativity, even alone, is splendid. And when you do it together, it's nothing short of a blessing.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Your Job in Chaos / January 17, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Regularly, stuff happens to us that we didn't want.

Chaos stubbornly tries to:

scare us,
corner us,
confuse us,
get on our nerves,
disrupt our peace and so on.

People react differently to "surprises." Some explode while reading a Facebook post, or slump when a client says no. Yet others, despite their fear, inspire their team or calmly face a pointed gun.

Like burdocks sticking to animal fur, we latch onto the world with hooks. What upsets me might not faze you at all. And vice versa. This is evident in group therapy, where participants honestly share their thoughts.

It's sad not to know your "hook" and be constantly surprised: "What got into me?" or justify: "Anyone would have snapped at that moment." Thus, a person chooses the position of a victim, as if possessed by the "devil."

The alternative is to explore where, when, and how you become vulnerable. Even if you stumble, you won't be surprised anymore: "Oh, this again... Well, understood."

After repeating the experience countless times, you'll catch on and calm down faster. One day, you'll stop just a moment before. Then once in a hundred times. Then every fifth time and so on.

Seemingly, your work is boiling inside. Paradoxically, the world immediately around you starts changing bit by bit for the better. Whatever happens in space, on the continent, or in the country, you have an important job that nobody can do but you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Reality Unleashed / January 16, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The business founder thanked me for the session and asked,

"What did you do that in just one hour I had a complete change of perspective?"

I pondered deeply because I wanted to give an honest answer,

"I tried to help you see things as they really are."

It's tough to do, and impossible to do completely.

But even with some progress, there's a turning point.

And it doesn't matter if the revealed reality inspires or upsets you.

Amid the pile of clever but useless concepts, interpretations, and thoughts, we now have something that cannot be denied.

At this stage, I usually hear a sigh of relief from the client, even though the solution is not apparent yet.

The client nods in agreement as I choose my words carefully to describe his (or her) reality as I see it.

My Challenge #1 - lose myself in the process, not bringing anything of my own.

Challenge #2 - speak with respect, delicacy, and warmth. Reality can sting when voiced with icy words.

Challenge #3 - hear exactly what the person is trying to say with his whole being, without uttering a word. When I manage to describe it, he feels like he's remembered something crucial about himself.

By the way, this explains why the "new" perspective on the problem feels so familiar to the person. He better understoods himself.

When the perception of self-in-situation fundamentally changes, solutions begin to hatch on their own. The secret is that they were always at hand. Now your fingers have touched them.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Accessible Magic / January 15, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

"Catching frogs and snakes is way easier than a moose."

"The best drink for transitions - pine needles in a thermos."

"He suffered a stomachache but ate charcoal from the fire. It helped."

"Dried cattail "cigar" fluff can be used as insulation in clothing and shoes."

Lars Fält's guide, a Swedish military expert on wilderness survival, is filled to the brim with insights. But more than the value of the advice, what I love is the overarching idea running through the guide like a red thread:

Survival is less luck than knowledge and skill, for all life-saving resources are, have been, and will be at our fingertips.

It's easy for the ignorant to believe that the whole world is against him. He hears his stomach growl as he steps on carbohydrate-rich plantain roots. Thirsty, he sees a birch tree, but not its tasty sap.

In this sense, a survival expert, entrepreneur, athlete, and sculptor are alike. Like wizards, they see a completely different reality than spectators from the sidelines.

They create everything from nothing, make a fire out of ice, pull a rabbit out of a hat. The audience is stunned, but they simply smile. Knowledge is available to everyone 24/7/365, but not everyone reaches for it.

All this doesn't discourage me; it inspires me. With time and diligence, you can become a "Lord of the Rings" in any field.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Violence vs Discipline / January 14, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Boxing champ Vinny Pazienza defies career-ending car crash, triumphs in 1992 comeback, just a year after his near-fatal injury.

What sets discipline apart from violence?

Suffering is present in both, here and there.

You equally feel the impact of an external force.

Someone commands you, and you really don't want to obey.

In both cases, nothing can be done; discomfort and pain will persist.

Yet, we know for sure there's a cosmic difference between them.

It's Personal Meaning.

It doesn't depend on the source of the force — fate, aggressor, or yourself.

The duration and extent of what you have to endure don't matter.

Meaning, understood only by you, redeems almost everything.

Otherwise, even a trivial task feels like medieval torture.

People too often associate discipline with willpower.

In my view, it's more promising to seek personal meaning.

Why?

The reserve of willpower is limited, but meaning — not.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Duality of Being / January 13, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Poison and medicine differ only in dose.

Elevate the idea of life to the absolute, and you get death.

For instance, developed muscles are the foundation of health, longevity, and strength. Unfortunately, some well-known bodybuilders became crippled or left this life. They pursued the ideal too zealously and literally.

Some parents shield their children from any difficulties and sorrows. The kids grow up as fragile as glass, shattering from the slightest stroke of fate. Unrestrained love has crashed them.

The knight who slays the dragon will inevitably become the dragon himself. At least out of boredom. It's a real curse when you're the beloved savior of the people and there are no more enemies that threaten the world.

Therefore, it's not the phenomenon, idea, or intention that matters, but the sense of measure. Get too carried away, cross the line, and bam – you get an unexpected minus instead of the desired plus.

Knowing our tendency to be blinded by an idea, there needs to be a counterbalance from outside or within. In business, the board of directors serves this function from the outside; in personal life, it's a therapist; in sports – a coach.

Self-regulation is achieved by embracing the duality of life disciplined thinking, and the ability to rise above oneself:

philosophy,
meditation,
religion,
art, etc.

To paraphrase Jung, the goal is not for ideas to have us, but for us to have them.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Value vs Cost / January 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Frequent business mistake: cost-based pricing.

Example: Product cost $X. So, price will be $X + 20%.

The advantage of this approach is: It’s simple, clear and “logical”.

Why the quotes? The customer doesn’t care what the supplier’s cost of production is. He cares about how it improves his business and makes life easier.

If the stated price is low, the customer happily accepts. But if it’s higher than expected, he gets upset or just walks away. No amount of “logic” will save you.

Why is outcome-based pricing so uncommon? Due to market uncertainty and low trust, many businesses are transactional. They want quick one-time deals, not long-term relationships.
Understanding what the customer truly wants is crucial. Some find it too lazy to strain their intellect and change their behaviour.
Surprisingly, not all customers know the exact result they want. Some corporate departments or government structures focus solely on the process, such as spending the yearly budget or keeping their job.

So, is it easier to forget about the result and leave everything as is?

Yes, if your goal is a murky small business with tiny profit margins. It’s like a suitcase without a handle — hard to carry, impossible to sell. Corruption might make it big, but that’s not the right path.

An alternative is to prioritize the value of your service in the eyes of the customer and then set your price.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

That One Deceptive Thought / January 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Too often, people rob themselves without even realizing it.

How so? What nonsense is this? Why?

Sadly, they've convinced themselves that value is proportional to effort.

They believe the tough market only rewards struggle, tears, and sweat.

For decades, they whip themselves and chase the carrot to conquer the next height. The onlookers applaud, admiring an unimaginable strength of will. But deep down, there's an ache in their souls.

They always had a vague desire for something entirely different.

Yet, each time, their impulse crashed against the thought:

"Where to find time for X when Y consumes most resources?"
"My X isn't unique, so no one except me needs it."
"I'd only do X, but there's no money in it."

Ultimately, they agonize with dreams or give away their X for free.

Only the human mind can trap itself.

An eagle won't start crawling just because it enjoys flying.

A border collie won't trade herding sheep for anything.

The mole will dig burrows instead of striving to see everything.

Animals follow wise instincts, not a tangled mind.

As a result, their lives have harmony, simplicity, and direction.

Quite often, I help clients embrace this "strange" thought:

Don't devalue what inspires you and comes too easily.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Systemic Stress / January 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A kidney specialist once told me that if you start jumping, the troubled organ will reveal itself.

Even a gentle shake reveals potential weaknesses in a system. It could be not just a person, but also a company, a community, or even a nation.

In a state of inertia or rest, there's an illusion of 100% health. For instance, a company repeats a well-established process for a long time. It seems like this state of affairs will last forever.

Yes, the system is stable internally, but unfortunately the context around it is in flux. Unpleasantly, changes can be: a) significant and b) sudden. So, where it's fragile, there's a rupture or even a collapse.

The solution is simple—voluntarily subject the system to stress. The problem is, the "organism" will feel discomfort. Employees will protest: "Why artificially create problems? Everything was going so well. And we have so much work to do."

Leaders prove themselves not only when disaster strikes, but also when there's no cause for alarm. When everyone is panicking, they remain the calmest. Conversely, they become paranoid when everyone collectively sighs, "Ah, everything is so good!"

The art of management lies in simultaneously strengthening the system and subjecting it to stress. A wise leader knows the answers to questions: What part? With what effort? Exactly when?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

And Then You Can't Unsee It / January 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine suddenly losing your job. Is it the collapse of everything?

You were a CEO (COO, partner, board member, co-owner), and now you're not.

The key here is the word "suddenly." The situation caught you off guard.

Why?

You didn't want to see reality as it is.

Usually, an honest analysis reveals that signals were there long ago.

But false beliefs, like a sieve, didn't let them into your consciousness.

Your familiar world was already falling apart at the seams. Yet, you cranked up the volume in your headphones. Meanwhile, a vague background alarm was growing.

Any changes happen non-linearly. Ernest Hemingway described it accurately: "How did you go bankrupt?" Bill asked. "Two ways" Mike replied, "gradually at first. Then suddenly."

Most likely, something similar has happened to you many times before. You're like an actor touring with one play.

This is good news because the solution will be universal. Adjusting the small picture of the world will cascade into the big one. Like with optical illusions, you can't unsee what's revealed.

What needs to be done for this?

Bring false assumptions to the surface, name and challenge them.

Jellyfish are invisible in the sea, but vanish without trace in sunlight.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Step into Sleep / January 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

I've got a complicated relationship with sleep.

Once I've sunk into it, I relish:

a shift to another dimension,
freedom from daily hassles,
hints of a possible future,
the healing process from illnesses and injuries,
unraveling and reshaping past experiences,
quirky characters and plot twists,
insights that reveal everything as it truly is, and so on.

Yet, every time I lie down in bed with great reluctance.

The thing is, I hate letting go of the departing day.

Remember how tough it is to toss out that worn-out but beloved item? Seeing the wear and tear, your brain gets it's time to part ways. But your very being screams, "No way!"

At that moment, a universal conflict plays out. No matter how tough the day was, it's done, so it's evident. It's already exhausted its unpredictability. We're alive, which means we've prevailed.

But what tomorrow holds is a mystery shrouded in darkness. In childhood, innocence created anticipation for a new day. As we age, it becomes evident that it could be not just a "Good Year" but also an "Apocalypse Now." Solomon said, "He who increases knowledge increases sorrow."

I dream that someday I'll eagerly seek the embrace of sleep again. Not thanks to techniques or pills quelling natural anxiety. I'll embrace uncertainty fully and without reservation. Why?

I will firmly believe that there is meaning and good in everything. It is revealed to those ready to sacrifice the most valuable thing they have.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.