Our entire life is a series of negotiations with someone:
- competitors,
- colleagues,
- officials,
- partners,
- clients,
- family,
- pets,
- fate,
- oneself.
"Negotiation is won by whoever cares less," noted entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant.
Entering into negotiations implies that you need something from the other party. The higher the stakes, the more evident it becomes that the opposing party possesses what you desperately lack.
In the worse case, you forfeit your freedom, becoming dependent on the other. Civilized negotiations turn into a wild confrontation between prisoner and jailer.
As a wise psychotherapist once said, "The victim always dreams of swapping places with the oppressor." This fosters an irresistible and easily justifiable desire to eliminate "evil" by any means necessary.
This explains why long-time business partners may resort to filing criminal charges against each other. Or why spouses, who have raised children together, turn everyone's lives into hell during a divorce. Convinced of its righteousness, "good" goes all the way.
To avoid turning ordinary negotiations into an epic battle of light and darkness, you must protect yourself from yourself. You heard it right— resist the temptation to play the victim.
To achieve this, your counterpart must lose their "exclusive" status. When their offer is met with a viable alternative, your opponent loses all power over you. This alternative can and should be created by you.
For example, you can:
- announce a tender,
- clarify true interests,
- review hidden assumptions,
- form an unexpected alliance,
- break down the whole into parts,
- broaden the horizon of events and relationships,
- separate the essence of what you need from the literal form, etc.
In essence, you always possess both the chains and the keys to unlock them.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.