You Don't Know Yourself / November 15, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Inside me, there's a "button" for delivering Wow presentations.

But for a long time, I had no clue about it.

As an introvert, I always avoided being in the spotlight.

But when I became the CEO of an ad agency, the "stage" called me.

You see, in the ad game, three things matter:

Winning pitches for new clients,
Generating Wow ideas,
Keeping talented people around.

So here Wow presentations are like the Water of Life in a fairy tale.

However, clients find it hard to judge the creative juice of an agency.

So they use a proxy - the drive of the team and the CEO.

I simply had to "rock" to keep our business alive.

That's when the introvert started turning into an extrovert.

Temporarily. Sometimes.

I pressed a secret button, switching to 'Berserk' mode.

Surprisingly, over time, I even started enjoying it.

Did I become the life of the party, a roisterer, and a socialite? No.

But six years of such transformations definitely changed me.

I realized I didn't know myself at all. I'm sure you don't either.

Something unimaginably greater is within each of us.

You'll find out when fate gives you a nudge (or a kick).

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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The Savior is You / November 14, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Be honest: No one’s gonna save you or your business.

If someone says otherwise, know they’re lying to you.

Why? Problems don’t just pop out of nowhere.

A long chain of decisions brought you exactly where you are.

In other words, it ain’t bad luck that’s got you stuck right now.

Sounds gloomy? Not at all:

In the world, no one cares about the outcome as much as you do.
You’ve tried a bunch of ways, you know the problem inside out.
You’ll damn well know when you stumble upon the answer.

So, you’ve been carrying the solution within you for a while, but in an implicit form.

You gotta make explicit what’s already there, in fact.

In chemistry, when all the reagents are ready, you add a catalyst.

It sharply speeds up what would’ve happened slowely on its own.

So, ditch the hope for a savior with a magical fix. Instead say:

“I’m looking for something to push my Process forward.”

Many things can act as a catalyst:

insight,
escalation,
a change in context,
deep self-reflection,
a successful analogy,
an unusual experience,
or a sherpa, a guide for those who climb high.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Beware: New Environment / November 13, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

A strong rookie athlete is feeble against an experienced judoka on the mat.

A teenage swimmer effortlessly circles an adult in the water.

A child leads a parent with awe, skillfully playing video games.

What's the common thread here?

One character is in an unfamiliar environment, while the other is in a familiar one.

And the less familiar the environment, the less important what you're proud of.

Multiply all that by zero - strength, endurance, knowledge and skill.

Because your 'assets' are as specific as tools.

An iPhone is great for text messaging, but not for nail driving.

A marathon runner's endurance doesn't translate to a wrestler's endurance.

People are often shocked because they don't realize that the environment has changed.

For instance, my acquaintance got robbed and stabbed in Rio.

He simply took the path next to the famous Escadaria Selarón.

Entering a new market is not a simple 'copy-paste' action.

A rise in interest rates destroys the profitable business model.

The launch of ChatGPT ruins many fast-growing startups.

Day and night petrol stations are very different in terms of safety.

Conclusion: Be vigilant about 'minor' changes in the environment.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Umbrella Solution / November 12, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

The neighbour downstairs complained: "Your footsteps make my ceiling crack."

Alas, when you hang a 36-kg weight on your belt, there is noise.

I can't give up the exercise, but I feel sorry for the neighbors. What to do?

I was about to cover the entire floor with expensive rubber coating.

But then a friend casually said, "Are you barefoot? Put on shoes."

Voila! In Crocs with a thick sole, the heavy me glides like a shadow.

This trivial case illustrates an important thought.

We are often in search of a grand solution to a grand problem.

But that's a way of wasting time, effort and resources.

It's wiser to narrow the conflict down to the operational zone.

For me it was the tiny contact area between the floor and my feet.

Facing a serious threat in business, leaders fall into extremes:

they either stay in a stupor for too long,
Or they rush to put out the fire with a flood of resources.

Better take a pause and look at the situation from the outside.

You'll discover a very different place to focus your efforts.

When skies open, a successful local solution is often an umbrella.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Transformer's Dilemma / November 11, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

On one hand, the world around us objectively exists.

On the flip side, you subjectively create your own world.

There is no contradiction between these two statements.

Every moment you're bombarded with events, phenomena, things.

But for some reason, you pick A from the mix and ignore B and C.

Like one kid making a T-Rex out of Lego, another making a boat.

It doesn't matter if it's your conscious choice or your ancestral vibes.

What matters is, the older you get, the less your "world" resembles others'.

So to say: "I want to change the world around me" is naive or narcissistic.

History is full of tragic attempts to make people happy.

Why? Fixing others is fearing the demons lurking inside you.

"Whatever is rejected by the self appears in the world as an event," said Jung.

Anyone who's tried knows – changing yourself is crazy tough.

The world quietly gets better if each carries their own cross.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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The Price of Liberation / November 10, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"I've got a serious knee problem. Can you help me?"

"Sure thing. Come in on Mon, Wed, and Fri at 8 in the morning."

"Oh no, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"I'm still sleeping at that time."

"Well then, you don't have a problem."

A sports rehabilitation specialist shared this story with us today.

It illustrates what I call an “unactualized request.”

A person deceives himself and others that he's suffering.

But he's unwilling to sacrifice anything for freedom:

lifestyle,
comfort,
resources,
sense of significance,
questioning false beliefs, and so on.

That's why the cost serves as a barrier against pseudo-problems.

Conversely, by giving up something valuable, a person will strive to gain much in return.

Want to work with more dedicated and grateful clients?

Raise the price of your services several times.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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To be a White Crow / November 9, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

In life, I often felt like a white crow, meaning an oddball or misfit.

For example, when I chose to major in chemistry at university, even though I didn't like it much or understand it well in school.

Or when, as a student, I dashed off to Kamchatka to lay pipelines with a team of seasoned men.

Later, I felt a jolt during my MBA at the Chicago Business School when I realized I was the only advertising person among a sea of finance experts. I struggled to grasp the lecturer's words.

Also, when I made a sudden shift from marketing to private capital management. Transitioning from a CEO and co-owner to a vice president role, essentially a salesman.

Everyone was a psychologist, educator or social worker at the US Focusing therapy conferences.I was the only businessman.

I felt out of place at 42, dancing House style among 20-year-old kids.

At 43, I stepped onto the tatami for the first time. Brazilian jiu-jitsu as an art fascinated me, but for the initial nine months, my ego was trampled by everyone.

A "white crow" is a newcomer who takes a giant leap into the unknown. He lacks mental models, cultural norms, and basic skills. So, he feels shame, embarrassment, helplessness, loneliness, despair, pain, and fear.

However, the White Crow has a maximum learning speed. The beginner's mind swiftly navigates the learning curve, like descending Mount Blanc. Moreover, after becoming a black crow, like everyone else, such a person retains a valuable outsider's perspective on the specific community and domain.

Looking back, I realize that the vast increase in knowledge more than compensated for all the discomfort I went through. While my ego struggled, my understanding of myself, others, and the world grew exponentially.

Now I'm almost used to being a crow that regularly changes its feathers.

When did you feel that your development switched to turbo mode?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Ego Sacrifice / November 8, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

It is terrible to feel like a complete fool. Yet, not ending up in that spot is even worse.

Without refreshing oneself, a person becomes a caricature or a zombie. He's alive, but his inner world is a mothballed museum.

You need a "water of life" in the form of new experiences, knowledge, and impressions. Unfortunately, this water doesn't always trickle; at times, it gushes like a deluge.

For example, your life may take a sharp turn due to fate. Or when you decide to delve into something radically new for yourself.

It's especially tough for someone who has already achieved heights in a certain field. "What? They're treating me like a kid?!" The mere thought discourages many from trying new things.

Yes, the most precious thing - the Ego - must be sacrificed. While the Ego deflates, a person experiences fear, pain, shame, and so on.

"Frustration, castration, and loss - it's the eye of the needle through which a camel (personality) must pass," said a wise person to me. It's easier to grasp it with the mind than it is to accept it with the heart.

Fortunately, the experience of past renewals has an anesthetic effect. You tell yourself, "Ah, yes, I remember. I felt just as awful when I launched X, got into Y, and decided on Z. So, I'll manage here too. It'll all get easier soon, for sure."

Some people's renewal muscles wither. In others, they grow stronger day by day. I bet readers of this mailing list pump it more often.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Who Is Confused? / November 7, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"Top managers are fighting with each other and pulling apart."

This is how the founder (or CEO) shows displeasure with his team.

Usually, in these situations, the leader thinks about ordering:

team-building training,
a group strategic session with 8-15 people,
or coaching for the most "problematic" top manager.

It's hard to blame the leader. Everyone around does the same thing.

Unfortunately, the company's resources will go down the drain.

At best, the employees will have fun on the company's dime.

This gives the boss a reason to console himself: "People got closer, made informal connections...". But deep down, he knows it's nonsense.

Most likely, good intentions will pave the road to hell again:

activity will generate more questions than answers,
smoldering conflicts will intensify,
misunderstandings will grow,
the leader's authority will decline.

Why?

People intuitively feel the problem lies elsewhere. After all, a team is a mirror reflection of its creator.

Can the team be better than the founder? Absolutely not.

Why do top managers endlessly clash with each other?

Because the founder lacks a clear picture in his head.

This is the main focal point of applying efforts.

Here, the ROI for the business is colossal.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Voluntary Shock / November 6, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

A healthy, energetic person is always intrigued by something. If he suffers, it's only from the tyranny of choice. There are just too many fascinating tasks around. It's desirable to tackle them all.

But when a person has little energy left, it's a different story. For instance, it might be because it's all spent on a hated job, background anxiety, or a chronic illness. Even if a spark of interest in a certain topic arises, there's nothing to fuel it because there are no logs for the fire.

In such cases, there are two ways out. You can increase the level of available energy. For example, mitigate the illness, change your lifestyle, or find another job. Then, the growing interest itself will pull you out from under the ground towards the sun.

The alternative is to go through a shock. The proximity of a threat shakes the consciousness and activates reserves one didn't even know existed. The flame of a problem burns everything unnecessary that seemed important. Like an atom, a person rapidly transitions from one state to another.

The last option implies high discomfort. Almost no one wants to pay this price. So, usually, Reality itself thrusts a person into shock. Unfortunately, the suffering is multiplied many times over by the fact that it happens suddenly and against a person's will.

Conclusion: If there's time, gradually improve your habits. Yet, if you're really pressed, take the initiative. Let the inevitable happen when and how you choose.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Implicit Threat / November 5, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I'm not a fan of scrapes, scratches, and cuts. They seem innocent. That's why they're treacherous.

For instance, the size of the fungus Trichophyton is between 4 and 50 micrometers. To it, a tiny scratch on your skin is like a wide riverbed.

It's trouble if you're into swimming or wrestling. You let your guard down a bit. Now you've been out of training for a few weeks.

In business, we witness the same thing. When a major problem arises, the founder gathers all strength. The threat of collapse forces a choice: to be or not to be.

But a scratch on the corporate body? Easily shrugged off. Seems trivial:

An analyst jumps ship to a competitor.
The accountant makes calculation mistakes again.
An investor remains silent for two weeks.
A co-founder seems sullen.
Or a slight increase in the churn rate.

Maybe it'll all be fine. Or perhaps Chaos is already knocking at your window.

This is an example of the Lever aimed against you. It turns Nothing into Something, unfortunately, with a minus sign.

Many smart books are written on how to avoid disaster. But wouldn't it be better to eradicate the cause?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Ice Option / November 4, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I've long read about the benefits of ice baths.

There are so many [1, 2]:

Reducing inflammation
Boosting the immune system
Activating antioxidant enzymes
Increasing metabolism and fat loss
Improving blood circulation and heart health
Decreasing muscle fatigue and post-workout pain
Easing symptoms of depression and anxiety
Enhancing muscle recovery after exertion
Heightening alertness and mental clarity
Building resilience to stress
Improving mood, and so on.

I even got myself used to taking cold showers, but I didn't go further. Sure, I remember the wonderful feelings AFTER plunging into an ice hole. However, I also remember my awful feelings BEFORE that. In short, there was a gap between thinking and doing.

Recently, I had an unusual day in terms of physical activity:

Morning swimming
Noon shooting at the range
Evening jiu-jitsu seminar

By evening, I needed a boost because I was squeezed like a lemon. Quietly cursing, I hopped into a tub chilled with ice packs and was amazed. Except for the first thirty seconds, the sensations were strange but not unpleasant. A cocoon formed around my body. Thoughts nearly disappeared, as if the cold froze my mind. Consciousness slowed down. Suddenly I felt the (long-awaited) calm.

After the procedure, a heat flared up in my body, providing enough energy for the seminar. The next day, the desire to repeat it arose. By the third day, I extended the experiment to three minutes.

I don't know if getting familiar with ice will turn into a friendship. I'm intrigued by the potential of this tool because it resembles a call option. It comes with a modest price in the form of initial discomfort. In exchange, we get unlimited upside. This pays off immediately and will pay dividends for many years, even decades, to come.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Why We Drink? / November 3, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"Alcohol is liquid Mother."

A psychoanalyst can say it in a way that you can't forget it.

What comes to mind when you hear the word "motherhood"?

For instance:

care,
satiety,
warmth,
security,
pleasure,
coddling,
tenderness,
unconditional love.

If this is how one feels toward a baby or a school kid, that's awesome.

A new life needs a supportive environment because it's too fragile.

But what about a 40-year-old man with a beard and mustache?

Trying to apply these words to him feels off.

A man's typical tags might look like this:

strength,
restraint,
resilience,
toughness,
adaptability,
meaningfulness.

What does this man want when he tips the glass?

To relax,
To enjoy,
To forget,
To fuel up,
To warm up,
To silence his inner critic,
To boost his self-assurance,
To feel tranquility, at least for a while.

Functionally and symbolically, ethanol is like maternal milk.

An adult who drinks a lot can't cope with life's pressure.

So, he longs to return to a blissful state, a 'paradise'.

Alas, he can't. And waking from this sweet slumber is terrifying.

But I'm not against alcohol, as it can be fitting on rare occasions.

But don't kid yourself, what am I drinking for?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Why do I value dreams? / November 2, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I love watching, recording, and then analyzing my dreams.

Not always, but quite often, they guide me.

In significance, their role resembles that of seabirds.

A bird is a good sign for one who has long wandered the open sea.

It means the long-awaited land is somewhere nearby.

Dreams also notify me of what should happen.

It's not about specific events; it's more about the direction my personality is taking.

In dreams, I see the changes that have already taken place within me.

You see, the physical reality is characterized by inertia.

Hence, in waking life, my behavior changes, but with a delay.

One could say that dreams help the implicit become explicit.

A few things have improved my understanding of dreams:

Psychedelic experiences.
Studying myths and fairy tales.
Learning the 'Focusing' method.
Interpreting dreams with a psychotherapist.

So when I hear that dreams are delirium and rubbish, it amuses me.

Just like when people try to interpret dreams using templates.

To those individuals, I'd suggest considering the following:

There must be some value in dreams if evolution has preserved them.
The eccentricity of dreams is necessary to bypass the barriers of a stubborn mind.
Dream symbols are individual and meant only for you.
It's unknown who sends you dreams. Why ignore these gifts?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Entrepreneur Inside the Corporation. Part II / November 1, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

So, your entrepreneurial spirit is trapped in a corporate body.

Leaving isn't an option, but staying isn't good either.

But what if the situation is exactly the opposite?

It's not you, it's the company, suffocated in a golden but cramped cage.

While the inertia of the past is strong, the business might still grow, but...

The symptoms indicate that nobody knows what to do next:

Politics' role in operational tasks increases,
Management avoids making tough decisions,
The managers' motivation system becomes unclear,
CEO keeps the business vision hidden from the team,
Corporate culture resembles a swamp, not a flowing river,
Customers are often unhappy with product/service quality,
The company is belatedly acknowledging reality, and so on.

In other words, the company is stuck, but it hasn't realised it yet.

For the entrepreneur within you, this is excellent news!

Why?

Choose any aspect of the company's problem that bothers you.
Work on it at your own pace in your free time.
With no management expectations, you risk nothing.
Worst case, you gain invaluable experience for the future.
Best case, your career takes a quantum leap.
Moreover, you have no competition here.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander
P.S. Unsure how to find and close opportunities within a large organization? I can help you. Book a session here.

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Entrepreneur Inside the Corporation / October 31, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Some top managers have an entrepreneurial spirit.

In big corporations, it's tough for them. Is that you?

Sooner or later, dissonance arises in your mind.

On the one hand, there's a desire to break away and embrace novelty.

But fear holds you back: 'What if my adaptation takes too long?'

Many professionals damage their careers by radically changing industries.

On the other side, there's no room to breathe in your current job.

Sure, the company is stable, your income is solid, and the board of directors knows about you.

But this is drastically insufficient for your dynamic nature.

You're like a mustang harnessed to a plow—your potential is far greater.

The dilemma steals peace and energy, poisoning relationships and health.

What to do?

In such a situation, I offer clients counterintuitive advice:

Take on more responsibility.

Why? I'll explain next time.

Surely, you're interested in contemplating this case yourself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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The Partnership Paradox / October 30, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Successful partnership is a resilient yet fragile thing.

It remarkably endures harsh hits from the outside.

And it strings possibilities one after another, like beads on a thread.

Unfortunately, success makes one feel invincible and arrogant:

"I'm a genius! Everything turns to gold, whatever I touch."

For now, he doesn't say it out loud, just whirl it in his head.

Sadly, their business is doomed. Even if the decay takes years.

Let's explore the root cause.

Partnership is ideal when there's a synthesis of contrasting forces.

Symbolically, it's a union of moon and sun, minus and plus, chaos and order.

But the moon is as it is not by chance - it repels the sun's heat.

Otherwise, it would have long stopped cooling everything around.

Someday, if the moon is wise, it acknowledges its shortcomings.

This is when an alliance of opposites emerges to offset each other's weaknesses.

Unfortunately, as success grows, pride rears its head.

Pride claims all the credit and devalues the partner's contribution:

"Unfair! I'm the only one who works hard and we split the profits in half".

This breeds:

Intrigues,
Power struggles,
Decision-making paralysis,
Revision of initial agreements,
Selection of managers for loyalty,
Shareholder conflicts, and much worse.

You might ask, what to do then?

Firstly, choose a mature individual as a partner.

Secondly, have those around who can put pride in its place.

Thirdly, consistently explore who you truly are.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Beckham / October 29, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I’m not a football fan, but the TV series 'Beckham' impressed me.

There are plenty of reasons:

It's a captivating story, full of twists and drama,
Expertly edited scenes from childhood, youth, and adulthood,
The influence of his father and coach in unveiling his talent,
David's interesting character traits,
The role of the team, and much more.

But, I highly valued the series for something else.

It vividly illustrates the sharp swings in people’s moods.

Today, David is an admired hero, yet tomorrow, he's England's disgrace.

In the same ecstasy, they praise him and then throw stones.

The crowd is blind and attacks everything: personal life, wife and children.

When asked how he endured it, David confesses: "I don't even know."

You need resilience to stick to your path against pressure.

It's crucial to have a partner who unconditionally supports you.

Most importantly, it’s about loving your craft, in David’s case—his game.

Your craft will always console and inspire, sober and give meaning to life.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Know Thyself / October 28, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"If a person is surprised and upset, it means he doesn't know himself well.

That's the unexpected insight I got today as a gift.

The initial reaction is to get upset: 'Why does this relate to me?!'

Like, the problem is in a chaotic environment, society, or people.

But what if my ability to predict things is lousy?

Playing the victim in a hostile environment still leads me nowhere.

But there is a chance to improve something by focusing on myself.

Let's move on.

Surprise means that phenomenon X caught me off guard.

And I'm upset because my imagined X is more valuable than real X.

Some part of me desperately wanted it to be this way, not another.

Had I known about this obsession, I could have softened the blow.

It's like a dad shielding the table corner to protect his child.

But turns out, I'm not familiar with this part of myself.

Its fundamental needs are new to me.

It's no wonder I flinch and struggle with its abrupt cry.

Notice, the point isn't to somehow change this part of myself.

No, it's enough to get acquainted with it and understand what drives it.

Conclusion: The better we know ourselves, the less we're upset.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Pattern Recognition Mastery / October 27, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Your brain is a genius at recognizing patterns. This ability helped your ancestors survive in a hostile world. Millions of years ago, it meant distinguishing between a snake and a vine, or between edible and poisonous mushrooms.

Today, you no longer need to track wounded prey by following its trail in the grass. But pattern recognition remains your ticket to staying in the game and winning big. Take, for example, when you're a recognized expert in a certain field. Countless observation of trivial and complex situations has melted a 'magnifying glass' in you. A single glance is enough for you to say, "This is problem X, and it's solved like this."

In this way, you create value for others. No patient wants to hear from their doctor, "Wow, I've never seen anything like this before!" Your expertise removes the uncertainty and streamlines their journey from point A to point B.

So, to excel in your field, mere experience, knowledge, and accolades won't cut it. Like a samurai, you must regularly sharpen your blade. Evaluate each new case in terms of how it fits (or breaks) your established pattern. This way, both achievements and mistakes will make you a stronger expert.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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