Why do I value dreams? / November 2, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I love watching, recording, and then analyzing my dreams.

Not always, but quite often, they guide me.

In significance, their role resembles that of seabirds.

A bird is a good sign for one who has long wandered the open sea.

It means the long-awaited land is somewhere nearby.

Dreams also notify me of what should happen.

It's not about specific events; it's more about the direction my personality is taking.

In dreams, I see the changes that have already taken place within me.

You see, the physical reality is characterized by inertia.

Hence, in waking life, my behavior changes, but with a delay.

One could say that dreams help the implicit become explicit.

A few things have improved my understanding of dreams:

Psychedelic experiences.
Studying myths and fairy tales.
Learning the 'Focusing' method.
Interpreting dreams with a psychotherapist.

So when I hear that dreams are delirium and rubbish, it amuses me.

Just like when people try to interpret dreams using templates.

To those individuals, I'd suggest considering the following:

There must be some value in dreams if evolution has preserved them.
The eccentricity of dreams is necessary to bypass the barriers of a stubborn mind.
Dream symbols are individual and meant only for you.
It's unknown who sends you dreams. Why ignore these gifts?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Entrepreneur Inside the Corporation. Part II / November 1, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

So, your entrepreneurial spirit is trapped in a corporate body.

Leaving isn't an option, but staying isn't good either.

But what if the situation is exactly the opposite?

It's not you, it's the company, suffocated in a golden but cramped cage.

While the inertia of the past is strong, the business might still grow, but...

The symptoms indicate that nobody knows what to do next:

Politics' role in operational tasks increases,
Management avoids making tough decisions,
The managers' motivation system becomes unclear,
CEO keeps the business vision hidden from the team,
Corporate culture resembles a swamp, not a flowing river,
Customers are often unhappy with product/service quality,
The company is belatedly acknowledging reality, and so on.

In other words, the company is stuck, but it hasn't realised it yet.

For the entrepreneur within you, this is excellent news!

Why?

Choose any aspect of the company's problem that bothers you.
Work on it at your own pace in your free time.
With no management expectations, you risk nothing.
Worst case, you gain invaluable experience for the future.
Best case, your career takes a quantum leap.
Moreover, you have no competition here.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander
P.S. Unsure how to find and close opportunities within a large organization? I can help you. Book a session here.

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Entrepreneur Inside the Corporation / October 31, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Some top managers have an entrepreneurial spirit.

In big corporations, it's tough for them. Is that you?

Sooner or later, dissonance arises in your mind.

On the one hand, there's a desire to break away and embrace novelty.

But fear holds you back: 'What if my adaptation takes too long?'

Many professionals damage their careers by radically changing industries.

On the other side, there's no room to breathe in your current job.

Sure, the company is stable, your income is solid, and the board of directors knows about you.

But this is drastically insufficient for your dynamic nature.

You're like a mustang harnessed to a plow—your potential is far greater.

The dilemma steals peace and energy, poisoning relationships and health.

What to do?

In such a situation, I offer clients counterintuitive advice:

Take on more responsibility.

Why? I'll explain next time.

Surely, you're interested in contemplating this case yourself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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The Partnership Paradox / October 30, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Successful partnership is a resilient yet fragile thing.

It remarkably endures harsh hits from the outside.

And it strings possibilities one after another, like beads on a thread.

Unfortunately, success makes one feel invincible and arrogant:

"I'm a genius! Everything turns to gold, whatever I touch."

For now, he doesn't say it out loud, just whirl it in his head.

Sadly, their business is doomed. Even if the decay takes years.

Let's explore the root cause.

Partnership is ideal when there's a synthesis of contrasting forces.

Symbolically, it's a union of moon and sun, minus and plus, chaos and order.

But the moon is as it is not by chance - it repels the sun's heat.

Otherwise, it would have long stopped cooling everything around.

Someday, if the moon is wise, it acknowledges its shortcomings.

This is when an alliance of opposites emerges to offset each other's weaknesses.

Unfortunately, as success grows, pride rears its head.

Pride claims all the credit and devalues the partner's contribution:

"Unfair! I'm the only one who works hard and we split the profits in half".

This breeds:

Intrigues,
Power struggles,
Decision-making paralysis,
Revision of initial agreements,
Selection of managers for loyalty,
Shareholder conflicts, and much worse.

You might ask, what to do then?

Firstly, choose a mature individual as a partner.

Secondly, have those around who can put pride in its place.

Thirdly, consistently explore who you truly are.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Beckham / October 29, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I’m not a football fan, but the TV series 'Beckham' impressed me.

There are plenty of reasons:

It's a captivating story, full of twists and drama,
Expertly edited scenes from childhood, youth, and adulthood,
The influence of his father and coach in unveiling his talent,
David's interesting character traits,
The role of the team, and much more.

But, I highly valued the series for something else.

It vividly illustrates the sharp swings in people’s moods.

Today, David is an admired hero, yet tomorrow, he's England's disgrace.

In the same ecstasy, they praise him and then throw stones.

The crowd is blind and attacks everything: personal life, wife and children.

When asked how he endured it, David confesses: "I don't even know."

You need resilience to stick to your path against pressure.

It's crucial to have a partner who unconditionally supports you.

Most importantly, it’s about loving your craft, in David’s case—his game.

Your craft will always console and inspire, sober and give meaning to life.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Know Thyself / October 28, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"If a person is surprised and upset, it means he doesn't know himself well.

That's the unexpected insight I got today as a gift.

The initial reaction is to get upset: 'Why does this relate to me?!'

Like, the problem is in a chaotic environment, society, or people.

But what if my ability to predict things is lousy?

Playing the victim in a hostile environment still leads me nowhere.

But there is a chance to improve something by focusing on myself.

Let's move on.

Surprise means that phenomenon X caught me off guard.

And I'm upset because my imagined X is more valuable than real X.

Some part of me desperately wanted it to be this way, not another.

Had I known about this obsession, I could have softened the blow.

It's like a dad shielding the table corner to protect his child.

But turns out, I'm not familiar with this part of myself.

Its fundamental needs are new to me.

It's no wonder I flinch and struggle with its abrupt cry.

Notice, the point isn't to somehow change this part of myself.

No, it's enough to get acquainted with it and understand what drives it.

Conclusion: The better we know ourselves, the less we're upset.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Pattern Recognition Mastery / October 27, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Your brain is a genius at recognizing patterns. This ability helped your ancestors survive in a hostile world. Millions of years ago, it meant distinguishing between a snake and a vine, or between edible and poisonous mushrooms.

Today, you no longer need to track wounded prey by following its trail in the grass. But pattern recognition remains your ticket to staying in the game and winning big. Take, for example, when you're a recognized expert in a certain field. Countless observation of trivial and complex situations has melted a 'magnifying glass' in you. A single glance is enough for you to say, "This is problem X, and it's solved like this."

In this way, you create value for others. No patient wants to hear from their doctor, "Wow, I've never seen anything like this before!" Your expertise removes the uncertainty and streamlines their journey from point A to point B.

So, to excel in your field, mere experience, knowledge, and accolades won't cut it. Like a samurai, you must regularly sharpen your blade. Evaluate each new case in terms of how it fits (or breaks) your established pattern. This way, both achievements and mistakes will make you a stronger expert.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Stop Burying Yourself / October 26, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

A person's potential is clear by the way he buries himself.

One digs with a shovel, another scoops with an excavator bucket.

A gifted person even destroys himself on a creative scale.

A sharp intellect devours any psychological defenses.

In essence, a person's power is turned inward.

The left hand battles the right.

The snake bites its own tail.

If the desire for life is strong, this battle can last for years.

Unfortunately, this wastes a colossal amount of energy.

Just like a swimmer struggling against the current, going nowhere.

Сompany founders describe these symptoms as:

"I feel burned out,"
"It's like I've hit a glass ceiling,"
"I'm losing interest in my business,"
"I don't know how to take my business to the next level,"
"What's the point of giving my all if there's no progress?" and so on.

The good news is that the limitation is in your own mind.

And that means the solution to unleash your energy is right there.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Conflict: Inside or Outside? / October 25, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"When an individual does not become conscious of their inner contradictions, the world acts out the conflict and is torn in opposite halves," wisely pointed out Carl Jung.

If we perceive ourselves as separate and autonomous beings, Jung's statement may seem perplexing. What does the world have to do with me?

However, the philosopher Eugene Gendlin believed that the process of interaction between a living being and its environment comes first. The nature of this process determines the kind of being one becomes. For instance, our lungs only make sense because there is an Earth's atmosphere.

In this light, the division between internal and external conflict is arbitrary. What unfolds outside simultaneously exists within. You are the conflict, and the conflict is you.

So why be surprised that a conflict replays itself over and over? The scenery, participants, and time may change, but the essence remains the same. The plot will play on endlessly until someone says, "Stop!"

Only someone who:

recognizes the problem's presence,
takes responsibility for what's happening,
is determined to find a solution no matter what.

But why and how does one become aware of their inner conflict? After all, for so long it was convenient to believe that the problem lay with other people, the state, circumstances and so forth.

You must get tired of seeing the same story over and over again. The question "Why is this happening to me again?" is the beginning of a new stage.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Imperfect Opportunities / October 24, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

We tend to expect miracles and dream big.

The problem is, these dreams can block our view of reality.

While we're daydreaming, we're missing what's right before us.

The amazing opportunities are begging for our attention.

Some are so bold as to tap us on the shoulder and pull at our sleeves.

And we brush them off, saying, "Don't bother me, I'm building castles in the air."

Truth is, these current opportunities don't look anything like a shimmering ideal.

They're usually messy, awkward, and rough around the edges, i.e., imperfect.

But if you take a closer look, their availability and usefulness are astonishing.

No, it's not a magical elixir turning our lives into paradise.

Instead, it's a hearty drink helping us survive here and now.

Life doesn't give us what we want, but what we truly need.

So, to suffer less, we need to be a little bit more grateful.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Worry Annihilator / October 23, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

One question can rid you of needless worries.

Remember it when someone panics or pressures you.

Ask: 'What's the potential harm here?'

Then press for a clear answer, keeping the question on track.

Most times, you'll find no real reason to worry.

At most, it's like that joke: 'Yeah, it's bad, but not 'end-of-the-world' bad.'

Our biggest fear often lurks in the pitch-black darkness, hunting us down.

It's the meta-image of a fanged, venomous, fire-breathing death.

Those fiery eyes? Just a harmless raccoon, a man-eating bear, or...?

But as soon as you figure out, 'Oh, it's X!,' there is a relief.

Next, lay out the likely damage from a collision with X.

Have you noticed how the problem quietly turns into a task?

The rest is easy. Task management is what our minds are very good at.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Fear is Good / October 22, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Each of us has a list of the most valuable books.

Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear" is definitely in my top ten.

Gavin is a worldwide expert in personal security.

Jeff Bezos, John Travolta and Madonna are among his clients.

What's unique about his advice is that he focuses on the implicit.

Your intuition tries to save you by giving very specific signals.

Fear is a high-level signal. You should always listen to it.

Following fear, these come in succession:

Bad feeling,
Suspicion,
Doubts,
Bodily sensations,
Assumptions, and
Curiosity.

Also important are persistent anxiety, obsessive thought, surprise and worry.

Sometimes, a harmless joke reveals a threat that your intuition senses but your mind doesn't yet.

Gavin believes that when it comes to danger, your intuition is always right in at least two crucial ways:

It never pops up out of the blue.
It always works in your favor.

After reading this book, you'll see your fear differently.

The usual ignoring, belittling, and disdain will fade away.

Instead, you'll find respect, appreciation, and gratitude.

Life is so unpredictable. So why reject this gift?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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This Is Our Secret / October 21, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

"Your articles make me think."

Lately, that's been the best compliment.

The reader is right - that's exactly my intention.

Every day, gigabytes of texts, videos, and posts flood us.

They are pseudo-simple, shallow, and dogmatic.

Like sweet and fragrant donuts, they go down easily.

After all, processed food dulls existential hunger.

My tool isn't an exclamation mark, it's a question mark.

Isn't it cooler to discover things than to know in advance?

So, when I start writing, I have no idea where I'll end up.

This way, there's a higher risk of misinterpreting my articles.

But there's also a plus - current understanding grows bit by bit.

Curiously, I do not share all articles from this newsletter on social media.

It means: I trust you much more as a conversation partner.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Keeping What You've Got / October 20, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Growing, obtaining, or building something isn't easy.

But it's no less challenging to preserve, maintain or support.

Sadly, we tend to praise the first and underestimate the second.

Because progress is made by overcoming epic struggles.

And maintenance? It's the routine reproduction of known steps.

Like magpies, people grasp not what's valuable but what shines brighter.

But the secret is that without the second, the first can't exist.

You can't put out a fire with a leaky bucket.

Income growth doesn't matter if there is a faster rise of overheads.

A hunter is effective when he knows his home and family are safe.

The value of the maintenance function isn't immediately apparent.

For some, it takes earning a lot, and then losing it all.

The one who can achieve and preserve becomes unstoppable.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Safety First / October 19, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Today, I dominated my opponent in the jiu-jitsu match and won.

But a couple of months ago, I barely survived under his pressure.

What's the difference? Back then, I doubted my injured meniscus.

My subconscious sensed my knee's vulnerability and protected it.

As a result, I attacked timidly, half-heartedly, with hesitation.

The surgery and rehabilitation eliminated this weakness.

The subconscious calmed down, letting the body go full throttle.

There's a simple rule: first safety, and only then growth.

If you forgot it, don't complain that there's no progress in business.

The thing is...

It doesn't matter what resources, brand, or team you have.

If there's a hole under the ship, your subconscious knows.

You need to find and fix the root problem at all costs.

The resulting energy release can be astounding.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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To be or to appear? / October 18, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

We drove to meet the mini-oligarch in our old Subaru.

We were the co-founders of an investment fund, my partner and I.

The Rolls-Royce of the oligarch, his office, and himself all screamed luxury.

Yet, this contrast didn't bother us at all. Why, you ask?

He was selling his factory, but we had the first $20 million in the bank.

Cash is the king, especially when the factory was drowning in debt in 2009.

A couple of years later, my partner had to buy a Porsche Panamera.

Our growing development business needed credit money.

While talking to bank investment committees, my partner gained insight.

Bankers assessed not only our financial flow but also our appearance.

It may sound silly and you may not like it, but that's a psychological fact.

In any deal, it's crucial to know which way the balance of power is shifting.

If you're dependent on the other side, every detail matters.

But if they're desperate for you, they'll forgive almost anything.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Co-Creation / October 17, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

1931, Col d'Aubisque, Antonin Magne, André Leducq

The client surprised me when he suddenly handed me a big bonus.

We never had such an agreement. But he decided to do it.

Why?

My advice brought him hundreds of times more.

But it's important to understand how we managed to create such value together.

Firstly, this founder trusts me completely, and I trust him.

Secondly, he is ripe for deep and honest work on himself.

Thirdly, he knows how to accept gifts.

The last point is as important as it is not obvious.

You see, in business therapy, you can't give, one can only take. But to take, you must acknowledge your deficits, your vulnerabilities, your imperfections. And that's a direct threat to the Ego.

By sacrificing the Ego, the founder becomes antifragile. By opening up, he gives the world a chance to amaze him. Opportunities, resources, and insights naturally flow into the networks he's extended.

In this way, he gains more value than he can carry. The bonus is his way of thanking me for staying by his side through the turbulent ocean.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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Creatine Magic / October 16, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Yesterday, I wrote that the secret to a productive life lies in the basics.

Take, for instance, Dr. Andrew Huberman's 5 pillars of health:

Sleep
Sunlight
Movement
Nutrition
Social connection

If these fundamentals are missing from your life, nothing can compensate. But suppose you're making progress in all these areas. How can you further support your body with minimal effort?

For me, the greatest revelation was creatine. I'd known about it since I was young. But I had never tried it until a year ago when I studied the literature and gave it a try. The results were astounding.

My athletic performance improved so rapidly that it couldn't be explained by other factors. Even my wrestler friends started teasing me, asking, "Are you on steroids?" I noticed a significant increase in strength and endurance in jiu-jitsu. The scale confirmed that I had gained 5-7 kilos of muscle.

A few interesting facts about creatine:

It's produced in the bodies of vertebrates.
It's an energy source for fully charging mitochondria and replenishing ATP reserves.
It's one of the safest and most well-researched supplements.
It's beneficial for everyone, from young athletes to elderly individuals.
Most people can take 3-5 grams daily for decades.
Consult a doctor if you have kidney conditions.
It's best to separate the intake of caffeine and creatine by a couple of hours.
Use specifically creatine monohydrate.

Benefits of creatine:

Increases strength and power during physical exercises.
Enhances endurance and the ability to perform high-intensity tasks.
Boosts muscle size by retaining water and creatine phosphate.
Reduces recovery time after intense workouts.
Decreases muscle fatigue and pain.
Plays a significant role in maintaining bone strength in postmenopausal women.
Enhances cognitive functions and reduces brain fog.
Acts as a neuroprotector, aiding in brain protection.
Potentially guards against neurodegenerative diseases, including Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, strokes, and more.
Potentially helps regulate mood and reduce depression symptoms.
Might potentially alleviate PTSD symptoms.

It's no wonder that Dr. Andy Galpin calls creatine the "Crown Jewel" and the "Michael Jordan" of all sports supplements.

There's only one "but" – creatine won't work if you're just lounging on the couch. You need to actively engage in some form of sport.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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The Power of H2O / October 15, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

All things considered, I need to drink 1.7 litres of water a day.

Losing 5% of body weight reduces an exercise's capacity by 30%. Dehydration increases the risk of ligament and joint injuries. Cognitive functions also decline.

It seems: Just drink whenever you feel thirsty. But no, that only gets you half the needed amount, at best. The thing is, when I'm into something, I forget everything else.

Client's problem. Writing an article. Reading a book. At that time, I'm absent, as if falling into a deep sleep. After a few hours, I wake up and feel like my body turned to wood, and my tongue became a sandpaper. The mind pushes the body's needs to the backseat.

That's why I drink water not when I want to, but when I need to. This means water should be with me all day long. Rituals help here. For example, before a workout, I prepare two thermoses with salted water. A cup of coffee always goes with a few glasses of water. And I never skip any water cooler on my way.

Water is so banal that its importance is easy to underestimate. But the further I go, the more I'm convinced that the secret to productivity is not exotic methods and pills. It's the fundamentals.

Want to dive deeper into this topic? Dr. Andy Galpin explains everything in detail.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

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”Who are you and what do you do?"
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Solving Pseudo-Problems / October 14, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

our business is wasting resources on wrong solutions to wrong problems.

Here are some negative symptoms:
- Implementing decisions takes an eternity.
- Departments pursue their own local interests.
- You feel like a firefighter, not a founder or CEO.
- Overhead costs are rising faster than gross profit.
- Granting more freedom to employees leads to chaos.
- Top managers are vying for power among themselves.
- Customers complain about the quality of products/services.
- You're so exhausted that you just want to exclaim, 'Screw this...'

So, to rectify the situation, you try:
1. Hire a top-notch CxO.
2. Appoint a coach for every weak link.
3. Poach top sales talent from competitors.
4. Enroll in a course at a leading business school.
5. Bring in consultants for a new management framework.
6. Get your team more in sync through strategic meetings.
7. Invest in staff training, IT systems, reporting, and much else.

But like the heads of the Lernean hydra, the problems keep growing back.

One day you have to admit that the root of the problems is... you.

More precisely, some of your implicit assumptions are no longer valid.

Hooray, the real transformation of your business has begun!

But wait, when?

The moment when you became a true king of your own kingdom.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

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