A Ripe Question by Alexander Lyadov

Eagerly searching for new opportunities is a futile effort...

...if you easily let go of what you already have.

When resources are abundant, no one counts the return on investment.

But eventually, the absurdity of this race will exhaust and horrify you.

The right question will finally ripen and arise within you:

"How can I multiply what I have without losing anything?"

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Secret Source of All Opportunities by Alexander Lyadov

If you are in a resourceful state, opportunities will find you.

But in depression, you will stumble over a gold ingot and pass it by.

Opportunity is like a joke, it requires being in the here and now.

Such openness presupposes not a shortage, but an excess of resources.

Where did the energy go? Often into stress due to an unresolved dilemma.

Lifting a weight is not a problem, but try carrying it for half an hour.

We carry the weight of dilemmas constantly, not resting even at night.

Therefore, it is sad and strange to hear complaints that there are no opportunities.

The mistake people make is that they look outward instead of inward.

It is enough to free oneself from at least some of the dilemmas, and immediately the sails are filled with strong wind.

So the most important task is to take full charge of yourself.

And what about opportunities? Oh, they have always been, are, and will be.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Where Confidence Comes From? by Alexander Lyadov

If you don't feel confidence in yourself, it means you're lost.

You can either scold yourself for it or acknowledge it as a useful signal.

When your life is predictable and understandable, there are no doubts.

It's different when you're surrounded by an unfamiliar landscape.

Quickly moving on autopilot is fraught with disaster.

At the very least, confusion arises; at most, paralysis and shock.

Should you freeze or run? Where to - south, north, east, or west?

A healthy mind should feel uncertainty in a new environment.

But you can't stay in a state of bewildered paralysis for long.

The person becomes highly vulnerable and expends a lot of energy in vain.

The solution is to transform the unfamiliar environment as quickly as possible.

You need to study the wildness, contain the fire, and domesticate the beast.

As the deep forest is transformed into a park, confusion disappears.

It's easy to guess which people are predominantly confident.

They have learned how to turn almost any chaos into a new order.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


What Is the Price of Freedom? by Alexander Lyadov

Are nightingales, moles, or wild dingoes free? No, because none of them are aware of their freedom. Animals are controlled by their species’ instincts, not subjective will. In this sense, not every human being is truly free. We are constantly dragged into the rut of semi-conscious existence, where one plot stubbornly repeats itself like in the movie "Groundhog Day." If you get distracted for a moment, bam, you're already being carried away by the flow of events towards a roaring waterfall. And attempts to get to the shore take a lot of time and effort.

The cruel irony is that at first, you start to notice the pitfalls, but you cannot avoid them, which turns such knowledge into torture. You get frustrated, analyze, and "solve" the problem again and again. Over time, or rather, with experience, you learn to read the trap beforehand.

The world no longer looks as gentle and friendly as it once did. Therefore, you must make considerable effort to ensure that your microcosm maintains reason, agreement and order. This means that our freedom is never free. "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance," said Thomas Jefferson, one of the founding fathers of the United States.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Secret Cipher: A Journey Inside Yourself by Alexander Lyadov

Author's photo, 2003

I wish I could have solved my grand dilemma 20 years ago.

My career would have been more straightforward and clear. But no, I spent many years searching for the key to a secret cipher.

I shifted industries, studied in Chicago and Harvard, read books on thermodynamics, philosophy, psychology, and religion, interviewed deep thinkers, and underwent a shamanic ritual in the jungles of Peru.

Even during wonderful vacations in France with my family, only a part of me was present, as the other part was occupied with solving the Problem.

No matter what I did, sooner or later, I always came up against a strange internal limit that caused me to lose almost everything I had built with great effort.

Without going into details, I can say that I eventually expanded my bottleneck.

Do I think that all those years were wasted? Not at all.

If solving complex dilemmas were a widely recognized art, I would have been awarded an honestly earned black belt.

When founders describe how they are stuck, I feel every nuance of their situation and intuitively understand what they have gone through and how close they have come to solving their problem.

Essentially, I have become the person I would have liked to meet 20 years ago.

I think it was worth it. Do you agree?"

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Conquer Giants with Tech by Alexander Lyadov

If your opponent is much bigger, stronger, and more powerful than you, what should you do? Increasing your mass and strength is important, but genetics have their limits. You cannot increase your height, and investments in strength will soon show diminishing returns.

The only thing that has no limit is technology. At first glance, it's a set of useful techniques and approaches. A system that combines techniques into a bush is even more effective. It's even better if you have a strategy that takes into account the context, the opponent's strengths and weaknesses, and of course your own.

The key element of the strategy is your Leverage or Edge, i.e., an advantage that makes your opponent fight the Invisible Man or King Kong. This can be an unnoticed kimono turn or, even better, counterintuitive mental models. The ideal scenario is when you consciously influence the quality and speed of your opponent's decision-making. Then your minimal impact will surprise the opponent, cause a stupor, and ultimately collapse.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Secret to Avoiding Burnout by Alexander Lyadov

Do you want to burn out doing your own thing?

Probably not, but in any company, the flame regularly flares up. Founders, CEOs, consultants, managers, and apprentices all burn out. It's like business bankruptcy when a previously taken large loan cannot be paid off. The source of living water has dried up. Not only the forest but also the root system has turned to ash.

One of the reasons for this is a lack of respect for Chaos. Even 23-time Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps is no match for a stormy ocean. Michael's resources are limited, but the resources of the ocean are not. Professionals recognize and respect the Unknown. Novices are carefree because they haven't seen catastrophic consequences yet. Chaos burns novices like clay: those who are lucky will strengthen, and those who are not will fall apart. This is how experience is bought.

However, a professional can also burn out if he (or she) becomes arrogant and decide to take a lofty height alone, cutting off the safety rope. Knowing the limits of one's competence is a sign of a mature master. In this sense, it is hardest for entrepreneurs, as they cannot help but be on the tip of the spear. CEOs, managers, or consultants spend most of their time on familiar territory, while the founder mostly wanders in dense forests. Perhaps that's why serial entrepreneurs have a paradoxical combination of confidence: "How much I can already do" and humility: "How little I still know." Seeing the founders' reverence, Chaos does not burn them but blesses them beyond expectation.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Unchained: Break Free from False Beliefs by Alexander Lyadov

No one knows what you're capable of, and that includes you. The macrocosm outside of you is infinite and unknowable. But the microcosm within you is also limitless and inexhaustible. At any moment, each of us is capable of surprising others and ourselves.

This often happens under the pressure of circumstances, less often by a conscious decision to test ourselves. If there are any limitations, they exist only in the form of false beliefs that prevent us from seeing what already is or could potentially be. The peculiarity of any false belief is that we don't perceive it as such. On the contrary, we hold dear what we have long believed in. We see our chains as golden bracelets and the noose around our neck as an original tie that makes us stand out from the grey crowd.

It's no wonder that changing our belief, and therefore our business, and especially our life, can be so difficult. Even if our minds understand that change is necessary, our subconscious resists with all its might, evading and slipping away. Any system seeks to preserve itself at any cost. Therefore, the system will never voluntarily renew itself (read: kill itself). Radical change requires an external catalyst. Either an experienced person will gently but persistently fulfill this function, or reality like a steamroller will brutally roll over us.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Why is the Business a Reflection of the Founder? by Alexander Lyadov

If a founders complains about their team, what does it say?

Essentially, they are looking in the mirror and describing themselves. Similarly, a tennis player angrily hits the racket on the court due to an awkward serve. It's no wonder that the samurai Miyamoto Musashi considered the sword an extension of the hand. The product of creativity may be worse than its creator, but it's never better. Company is built by people, but someone, after all, invited them, trained them, set goals, and gave them the necessary power and resources. Or they were not taught anything, were unaware of the company goals, were loaded with responsibility, but almost all the power was kept by someone else.

If inexperienced talented people end up in such an environment, what will happen? After a few unsuccessful attempts to change something, they will catapult out of there very soon. In other words, it's not easy to find the best people, it's hard to hire them, but it's absolutely impossible to retain them against their will. The founders are the origin, epicentre and centre of attraction of a business. In their micro-universe, they are God. Everything good and bad in the company happens at their will and desire, even if they don't admit it to themselves. Following the formation of vision, the study of customer needs, and the search for a business model, choosing the first employees is a decisive step.

Dan Rose held leadership positions at Amazon and Facebook for 20 years and now heads Coatue Ventures. He  said  that when he was considering leaving Amazon, he asked for advice from investor Peter Thiel: "Peter, I'm interviewing at these six companies. And by the way, four of them are companies you invested in. What do you think I should do?" And he replied, "You should go to Facebook." And I asked, "Why?" And he said, "Simply put, they have the best people. And companies with the best people ultimately win." Therefore, Dan concludes, "The best founders are able to attract the best people, period."

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Why Tech Genius Must Learn to Sell by Alexander Lyadov

Do the founders need to be able to sell their service or product themselves?

After all, there are sales departments, CMOs, and partnership channels for that.

This is a common problem among some talented engineers and creators. Subconsciously, they crave solving exciting problems that someone else regularly brings to them. As a result, they tend to delegate demand creation, lead generation, and the sales process to anyone who expresses a willingness to do so.

As a result, either there is no stable flow of customers, or there is a flow, but no profit, as it is taken by the person who brings them in. In addition, the founders develop a legitimate paranoia that they have become dangerously dependent on a "benefactor" and could lose the business they have built up over many years at any time.

In the 90s, the "father of advertising" David Ogilvy wrote: "In the modern world of business, it is useless to be a creative, original thinker unless you can also sell what you create." Today, this is even more true. If a creative or technical genius learns to generate and satisfy market demand himself, he will essentially acquire a superpower.

The key question is why some founders have an almost organic aversion to the idea of making sales themselves. I have encountered various reasons, one of which is a misconception about what it takes to make successful sales. They believe that they will need to develop qualities that are foreign to them - deceitfulness, hypocrisy, Machiavellianism, and cynicism. However, in reality, on the contrary, all that is needed is to focus their natural inventive and creative power in a different direction. This involves collaborating with customers to identify the root of their problems and unlock the hidden potential of solutions.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Does Your Business Have Tokui-Waza? by Alexander Lyadov

A young athlete and an entrepreneur I know asked me almost simultaneously: "My head is spinning. What should be my focus as an athlete (CEO)?". I gave them both similar advice. In Brazilian jiu-jitsu, there are thousands of techniques that can make an opponent submit under threat of suffocation, fracture, or pain. A novice athlete is struggling with a dilemma: "Should I try to learn all techniques a little bit, or focus on one thing?"

Fortunately, there is a simple solution that no one talks about. Firstly, you need to learn various techniques, but only to the extent that you can recognize and neutralize them when your opponent tries to use them. You don't need to be able to set up all possible traps - it is enough to notice and avoid them in time. Secondly, the athlete needs to actively invest in the development of the so-called "tokui waza." This is a judo term that means the crown technique. It is the one that you can perform particularly easily and almost always leads to a successful outcome.

Why this technique is right for you doesn't matter. Most likely, you are predisposed to it due to the unique anatomy of your body or your specifics of mind. The key thing is that in a scramble, you can't help but try to apply this technique. More precisely, it will manifest itself at the right moment. You will enjoy practicing during training. And your crown technique will attract your attention like a magnet, inspiring you to study every possible nuance.

How do you know which technique will become your "tokui waza"? You need to observe yourself closely during scrambles. Sooner or later, you will notice that one of the techniques has come out of you almost by itself. That's it, now it is the zone of your attention and effort investment. Collect information about this technique and experiment with it.

Very soon all your training partners will know that you are no joke. Meanwhile, you should continue to diligently water what grows on its own. Typically, one crown technique leads to a second and a third. As a result, a whole bush of them grows, allowing a beginner athlete to win more often at competitions. This approach helped me to win two gold medals at the European Championships in 2018 and 2019, just three years after starting to practice Jiu-Jitsu.

Business and Jiu-Jitsu are similar. Your customers have certain hygienic factors that must be met, without which your company will not be allowed to play. As client requirements and market conditions change, you must constantly check and update this hygienic checklist. But for your company to win the "gold medal" against the competition, it must have its own "tokui waza". CEOs should see their companies like a coach sees a promising athlete — carefully studying their characteristics to determine what the athlete does best. And having discovered this organic advantage, they should strive to strengthen and develop it to the fullest extent.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Unseen Value Of Imperfect Opportunity by Alexander Lyadov

Do you know what a new opportunity is similar to? It's like a bouquet of flowers. As soon as it appears in front of us, it immediately starts to become obsolete. Like an isotope with a half-life, the lifespan of an opportunity is very short. But many people are convinced that fortune will always be waiting for them. However, seeing such disrespect towards itself, fortune leaves them with nothing.

Yes, often an opportunity doesn't quite match our expectations of it. "It's not quite right. If only..." we grumble to it. But just like breast milk is only suitable for a helpless infant, an adult must find, prepare, and chew his (or her) own food. Imperfect opportunities are not a defect or insignificance on their part. On the contrary, they acknowledge our ability to evaluate and develop them.

The more experienced entrepreneurs are, the more grateful they are to fate. A dirty, strange, and ugly opportunity doesn't repel or scare them. And the fewer other applicants, the higher their status as a chosen one. In essence, the scale of success depends on the reaction to the wildest opportunity. And the speed of reaction depends on experience, knowledge, and the belief "I can do that."

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Myth of Scarce Opportunities by Alexander Lyadov

Do you have an abundance of favorable opportunities in your business, or are you facing a deficit? Many believe that some people just get lucky and end up in the right place at the right time, while others are doomed to watch the train leave the station, or worse, not even realize that there's a station. In other words, opportunity is seen as something that's intrinsic to the environment. A person can either stumble upon a gold nugget (the lucky one) or forcibly seize a gold mine for themselves (the oppressor). There's no third option.

My jiu-jitsu experience has convinced me that it's not like that - opportunities have always been, are and will always be there. But as a novice, I was preoccupied with survival and couldn't see anything else. With a blue belt, the number of favorable positions for rest, control, or submission increased. At the purple belt level, even if I can't always take advantage of them, I can see that opportunities are abundant all around me. Is the open lapel a mere form element or a rope that can easily strangle your opponent? Is the opponent who's grabbing your throat a dangerous predator or a naive prey that fell into your trap?

Living through sparring matches, analyzing mistakes, and methodical training for seven years has invisibly transformed me. Once I learned how profitable it is to upset the opponent's balance (kazushi), for instance, I can no longer unsee this insight. Now, if my success in jiu-jitsu is hampered by anything, it's only my impulsiveness, tiredness, or laziness.

Do you think it's any different in business? My own experience and working closely with entrepreneurs has convinced me that it's all the same - it's all about mindset.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


The Forgotten Foundation of Advertising, Marketing and Sales by Alexander Lyadov

Some people disdain advertising, marketing, and sales.

They perceive it as a hellish concoction of violence, manipulation, and NLP.

They believe that a super service will sell itself.

But since there are no queues of eager customers, they get angry.

Fools allegedly surround them, unable to appreciate the service's genius.

This is a warm bath of narcissism, and one can soak in it for years.

Unfortunately, they have forgotten the foundation of advertising and sales.

For a customer to buy something, they must know about you and trust you.

To begin with, the founder should explicitly state the service.

After all, customers are immersed in routine and surrounded by noise.

But without the fertile soil of trust, the seed of information will not sprout.

How does trust arise? The sources of distrust provide a clue.

These are unfamiliarity, complexity, unpredictability, and confusion.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


What is Your Life's Pattern? by Alexander Lyadov

Your life is a unique pattern of complexity and beauty.

At first, someone or something else moves the needle, not you.

Parents, friends, or circumstances mold you like clay.

But sooner or later, the creator within awakens.

True, for some, only a catastrophe can provide the push.

However it is, potentially the Demiurge exists in everyone.

His function is to create a pattern that is impossible to replicate.

It's important to note that this is an inner dictate, not self-indulgence or folly.

In other words, it's the growing of personal meaning from the inside out.

The mistake is to compare the scope of influence on the planet and people.

How can one assess a mother's love for her children or the advice of a wiseman?

Everyone has their own purpose, which is sometimes unclear even in hindsight.

But it's absolutely clear when your pattern is real, honest, and alive.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


How to Outrace Age? by Alexander Lyadov

As one ages, their energy inevitably decreases.

A 50-year-old wrestler doesn't have the explosiveness and stamina he had at 20.

But it's not brute force that wins, it's a well-directed impulse.

A joke elicits laughter if delivered precisely at the right moment.

The power of the car's engine is important, but the software is even more critical.

It allows for quick energy replenishment and optimal performance.

A seasoned comedian doesn't rush, ramble, or flit about the stage.

He holds long pauses and with a single grimace breaks the audience's guts.

It's impossible, nor necessary, to stop the natural course of things.

However, nature is capable of giving something back while taking away much.

Provided that one continuously updates his or her software.

The ideal is when increasing wisdom exceeds decreasing strength.

Essentially, someone who gets close to the ideal doesn't age.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


How Do You Break Through a Ceiling That Doesn't Exist? by Alexander Lyadov

I've changed several industries in 25 years, but each time it wasn't my thing.

I usually achieved success quickly and then went into the unknown.

I felt like I was hitting an invisible, impenetrable ceiling.

Physics, psychology, philosophy, and religion didn't provide any answers.

Once I was so fiercely cornered that I squeezed out of myself: 'Help!'"

But no one came to my aid because it wasn't a scream, it was a whisper.

Another time I was wiser and sent a very clear signal to the world.

A strong man inspired me that I could handle everything myself.

A wise woman finally explained to me the nature of my superpower.

Instead of conforming to others, I created my own Thing.

Thus was born the Analytically Oriented Business Therapy.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Creativity in Negotiation: Best negotiations are those that never take place by Alexander Lyadov

Meditating alien man by Moebius

Moebius

 

There are many simple and sophisticated techniques for persuasion and negotiation that can help you more effectively get what you need from the other side. But the best strategy is when there are no negotiations at all, yet the desired result is achieved. One of my longtime business partners didn't like bargaining with people. He wasn't afraid of anyone and could be very tough when necessary, but emotions were not his forte. So his brilliant intellect found a systematic way out of this problem.

For any significant negotiations, he prepared meticulously, evaluated various scenarios, and built models in Excel. But most importantly, he did all this not only for himself but also for the other side. As a result, he had a clear understanding of the opponent's current position and the cost of their alternatives. At the negotiating table, my partner made only one proposal and calmly explained on numbers and facts why the opponent simply could not have a better offer.

Notably, his proposal was not super-aggressive. Each time, I even had a feeling that my partner was leaving value on the table. He explained, "I don't need any extra." But then he stood his ground unwaveringly. Disarmed by his insightful analysis, opponents desperately tried to emotionally pressure him. He would calmly reveal his next alternative, which, combined with the reasonableness of his original proposal, usually convinced everyone.

His approach echoes what experts on hostage release and extreme negotiations Christopher Voss and Derek Gaunt say: "It's not about you!" In other words, for successful negotiations, paradoxically, you need to forget about yourself and show "tactical empathy." You don't have to love your opponents, you just need to understand them. You need to focus on what's important and valuable to the other side. The clearer you understand what drives them and their ways of retreating, the easier it is to make an offer in the spirit of Don Corleone, which cannot be refused.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Freeride Entrepreneurship: Danger or Fun by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown artist

Freeride snowboarding in untouched snow is an exhilarating experience: a sunny day, the ringing silence, and the beauty of wild nature. However, one mistake can turn  turn paradise into hell into hell. Being trapped upside down in a snowdrift is a death sentence by suffocation if no one is nearby to help.

In the city, there is almost always some service that will either come to help in time or provide a warning sign or fence to prevent danger. However, in the wilderness, people tend to act as if there are safety ropes everywhere. Nature does not care about individuals; it only stimulates natural selection. Its especially bad if a snowboarder decides that he can deal with any problems himself and goes snowboarding alone.This is pride, which is considered the cause of all other sins in both Islam and Orthodoxy. In ancient tradition, hubris (arrogance, boldness, insolence) is perceived by the gods as a challenge thrown at them, and they punish it with sudden disappearance of luck.

In the business world, most people spend their time on ski resorts, using lifts and skiing along prepared slopes. However, it is on untouched snow that the full potential of both the snowboard and the rider is unleashed. Thus, entrepreneurs venture into places where no one has ever set foot in search of achievement, adrenaline, and meaning. Many eventually find what they are looking for, but only if, first and foremost, they remember the treacherous nature of the environment that can both reward and destroy them in an instant. Secondly, even the strongest of them are alien to pride. They consciously seek support, whether it be a community of entrepreneurs, a board of directors, a business partner, a coach, or a psychotherapist.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.


Creativity in Negotiation: the Mindset of a Chooser by Alexander Lyadov

Theo. R. Davis

"Beggars should be no choosers." This powerful proverb was published in English writer John Heywood's collection in 1562. One can think of it in a positive light, feeling gratitude for any gift of fate, especially when you are stuck.

Of course, no one is immune to tragic blows of fate. Yesterday, someone was featured on the cover of Forbes, and today he or she is forced to hide in Asia from creditors. However, no one willingly and in his or her right mind wants to be in the position of a beggar. Nonetheless, in negotiations, we often corner ourselves, depriving ourselves of any freedom to choose.

The proverb suggests how it all happens. The stronger our obsession with a specific result in negotiations, the stronger our claws get stuck in the trap. Desperately wanting what we don't have but our opponent does, we turn into beggars who can be pushed around. In addition, the extreme degree of desperation awakens base instincts in a person cornered, which he will come to regret.

The opposite is also true — any reduction in our fixation on a specific form automatically enriches us. That is why true entrepreneurs are willing to do anything to increase the number of their degrees of freedom. They intuitively and consciously use different techniques to avoid falling into the trap of their obsession.

The simplest and most effective way is to find the next best alternative to what is so desired at the negotiating table. The better your alternative is worked out, the more unshakable you become. Note that you don't need to be naturally bold and cool-headed. You also don't need to squeeze or bluff anyone. It's enough to be ready to stand up and leave at any moment. Your world is richer than this deal.

As we can see, the choice of whether we are a beggar or a chooser largely depends on our knowledge of our nature and our ability to control ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.


”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.