There are many simple and sophisticated techniques for persuasion and negotiation that can help you more effectively get what you need from the other side. But the best strategy is when there are no negotiations at all, yet the desired result is achieved. One of my longtime business partners didn't like bargaining with people. He wasn't afraid of anyone and could be very tough when necessary, but emotions were not his forte. So his brilliant intellect found a systematic way out of this problem.
For any significant negotiations, he prepared meticulously, evaluated various scenarios, and built models in Excel. But most importantly, he did all this not only for himself but also for the other side. As a result, he had a clear understanding of the opponent's current position and the cost of their alternatives. At the negotiating table, my partner made only one proposal and calmly explained on numbers and facts why the opponent simply could not have a better offer.
Notably, his proposal was not super-aggressive. Each time, I even had a feeling that my partner was leaving value on the table. He explained, "I don't need any extra." But then he stood his ground unwaveringly. Disarmed by his insightful analysis, opponents desperately tried to emotionally pressure him. He would calmly reveal his next alternative, which, combined with the reasonableness of his original proposal, usually convinced everyone.
His approach echoes what experts on hostage release and extreme negotiations Christopher Voss and Derek Gaunt say: "It's not about you!" In other words, for successful negotiations, paradoxically, you need to forget about yourself and show "tactical empathy." You don't have to love your opponents, you just need to understand them. You need to focus on what's important and valuable to the other side. The clearer you understand what drives them and their ways of retreating, the easier it is to make an offer in the spirit of Don Corleone, which cannot be refused.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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