Reverse the Odds / October 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Grappling with different partners, I often share an insight that once saved me during the final of the Ukrainian championship in 2017:

"When an opponent aggressively looms over you, he’s vulnerable. Just block his arms and pull, bringing his head over yours. Then, give a quick push with your legs, and he’ll fly right over you."

This opportunity comes up often in a match, but most grapplers don’t see it. Why? They’re too focused on themselves, desperately trying to survive.

The irony is, the move works best when there’s a big gap in weight, size, or strength between the grapplers. Imagine a slim girl trying to defend herself while a big guy presses down on her.

The heavyweight feels sure of his advantage. In his mind, he’s already won, and defense isn’t even on his radar. The fairy uses this carelessness to slip beneath the giant’s center of gravity. That’s the secret.

Lift your opponent off the ground, and he’ll lose all his strength.

In Greek mythology, Hercules was the first to defeat the giant Antaeus. This son of Poseidon drew his strength from his mother, Gaia, the goddess of the earth. During their fight, Hercules figured out Antaeus’s secret—he lifted him high into the air to drain his power, then finished him off.

Paradoxically, the worse your situation, the better your chances of winning.

But first, you need to turn your perspective around 180 degrees.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

The Flip Side / October 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What happens if you take a deep breath, then try to fill your lungs with even more air? And then more, and more? With each passing second, it gets worse.

Every cell in your body craves just one thing — to exhale.

Opposites imply each other:

In and out.
Rise and fall.
Truth and lies.
Heat and cold.
Lack and excess.
Man and woman.
Silence and noise.
Light and shadow.
Beginning and end.
Progress and decline.
Hardness and softness.
Strength and weakness.
Stillness and movement.
Simplicity and complexity.
Dead-end and breakthrough.

If this is obvious, why do people act like it’s not?

Take the founder who grinds in “24/7/365” mode, brushing off any suggestion of a break with, “I’ll rest when I retire!” Meanwhile, his body keeps shocking him, going on strike.

The businessman's posts show off his success, a harmonious home, and perfect kids. Yet, when you happen to meet him on the street, his eyes tell a different story — unbearable longing, exhaustion, and pain.

The CEO passionately talks about the company’s dedication to its employees, its long-term charity work, and the many progressive ideas it has implemented. But when you ask him about revenues and expenses over the last three years, he struggles to give a quick answer.

“Opposites arise from each other, and this transition is mutual,” wrote Plato in his dialogues "On the Soul."

Trying to focus only on one desired part of life pushes a person into its opposite. Success at any cost turns into failure. The thirst for recognition — loneliness. The chase for happiness — depression. Eagerness — burnout.

The takeaway: remember to exhale after a deep breath.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Why Partnerships Thrive or Fail / October 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Once upon a time, there were business partners. They started a successful business together. Then they had a falling out. They spent years fighting over assets, sabotaging each other, and airing dirty laundry in public. They lost money and nerves in the courts.

Ten years went by. The resentment is still smoldering, but it’s clear now—they all lost.

Some try to forget the whole thing like a bad dream. Others can’t stop asking, “Why did the conflict happen?” And a few are still trying to find a winning strategy after the fact, thinking, “If only I had done this back then…”

But almost no one asks, “Why did I choose this partner?”

Think back to how it all began. You were talking with different people, passionately brainstorming ideas. At some point, it became clear that you couldn’t wait any longer. Opportunities weren’t going to stick around forever. And for some reason, this person caught your attention. Why?

Let me help—he was your perfect match. Whatever you desperately lacked, he had in abundance. And the same went the other way around.

Even when people say, “I had the ideas, and he had the resources,” that’s only half the truth. Most likely, it’s just your natural design—somehow, muses are drawn to you, while money seems to find its way to him easily.

The point is: Your partner was fundamentally different from you.

In your partnership, this was both super glue and dynamite. At best, your progress was unstoppable. At worst—things blew up.

Why? The qualities you lack are the ones you deeply dislike. Your lack isn’t an accident; you see those traits as nonsense, weakness, dirt, or even immorality. But your gut tells you this is your “bottleneck.”

Your partner embodies what you crave to be but can’t.

When a cathode “finds” an anode, a current flows between them. This system works perfectly as long as neither part believes success is solely its own doing.

If this temptation comes to you, push it away fast. The system's synergy is safeguarded by the humility of all its parts.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Hidden Treasures? / October 20, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Walking my dog in the evening, I look up and freeze.

The flames of the setting sun, the blue sky, and the shifting clouds together create hypnotic patterns. I want to watch them forever.

What strikes me most is the sudden shift.

Just a moment ago, my attention was consumed by the flow of the street: the movements of passersby, the growl of engines, and the cries of ads on poles. The sky above was just a backdrop, too familiar and still.

Suddenly, the ground and the sky switched places. What seemed important faded into the background, and the mundane revealed its hidden treasure.

Well, “hidden” might not be the right word—diamonds and pearls are scattered everywhere, always. Instead of a price tag, there’s an invitation: “Take as much as you can carry. It’s all free.”

Something inside me must be blocking me from noticing this brilliance.

But despite everything, beauty bursts into my tiny world when:

The changing seasons paint the roadside bush in intense colors.
A client’s problem transforms before my eyes, revealing a solution.
In a dream, I experience peak vitality, harmony, and freedom.
Precise words naturally build a pyramid of meaning.
Love is read in a conversation, even in silence.
a certainty crystallizes that it’s all for the best.

The trick is to learn to stop getting in your own way.

Everything we need most has always been, is, and will be here.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What’s Your Role? / October 19, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In business and life, you have four roles to choose from:

1. The Destroyer. His every effort and thought is aimed at turning 1 into 0. Whatever he touches crumbles to dust.

2. The Guardian. His job is to protect a unit of value, ensuring that the 1 exists in the past, present, and future, no matter what.

3. The Manager. He wants, knows how, and must turn 1 into 10 or even 1M. Someone entrusts him with value, expecting him to manage and multiply it.

4. The Creator. Without asking for anything or having anything, he makes 1 out of 0. In his presence, a dead-end problem reveals a Wow-solution on its own.

Each of these roles is essential in the business process. There is a time for each: to guard and to stimulate, to plant and to crash.

However, the complexity of these functions varies greatly. Anyone can break, trample, or cancel anything. After all, the first thing any new organism learns is to take, not to give. Entropy helps, too, relentlessly turning everything to chaos.

Keeping things safe is harder. Lose focus for even a second, and everything can be lost without a chance to recover.

Not everyone can multiply what exists because it requires hard, honest work—day in, day out. A rich harvest is the result of methodical effort over many years or even decades.

The most difficult role is creating Something out of Nothing. You can’t be taught this—it’s about unlocking a dormant ability within yourself. But this path is unpredictable and thorny.

Creators are always in short supply. Treasure them in others and in yourself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Hunt for Breakthroughs / October 18, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Let's say you need to create something new. You can't just do it the same way you would in a familiar field.

You know the "Why?" but there’s no clarity on the "What?" or the "How?"

At this stage, you feel anxiety and discomfort. Especially when time is short, resources are running low, and the pressure is high. And even more so if you rarely use Creator mode.

I’ll share a secret with you on how to calm down and speed up your R&D process.

First, inside you, there's a sensitive indicator. It will definitely signal when you catch a Wow-idea in your net. Along the way, it also hints, "Hey, that’s interesting," or "Probably not."

Second, you need to trust your curiosity. Like a hunter releasing his eagle, letting it soar into the sky and scout the surroundings. The predator itself finds, pursues, and captures the desired prey.

Third, you need to curb your inner manager. His zeal is out of place here. Scaling a one is efficient; birthing a one from zero is not. Its goal is a breakthrough.

The hunter succeeds when the eagle becomes an extension of his hand.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Know the Unknown / October 17, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Everyone knows that cats hate water. Even if they can swim, they'll do everything they can to avoid getting wet.

But the big cat in the photo missed that memo.

Jaguars rarely encounter ungulates in their habitat. So they've expanded their diet to include 87 species, from turtles to anacondas and caimans. They leap from ambush, landing on their prey’s back, and often crush the skull or neck vertebrae.

A puss in boots hunting a dragon in the river sounds both bold and funny.

Surviving in a hostile, alien environment is tough. What gives you strength on land or in trees is useless underwater. You can’t breathe, your movements are slow, and visibility is near zero.

Yet the jaguar mastered this "terra incognita" so well that it went from being a potential prey to a threat for the reptiles there. If caimans could talk, they’d be yelling, “WTF?! The world’s gone crazy!”

The human ability to explore strange worlds is a divine gift.

We can settle not just new lands but also the conceptual worlds of others, even if they’re wildly different from ours. There’s risk in that, but the rewards are prosperity and growth.

And the more someone's ideas confuse, repel, or frighten us, the more they have the potential to protect and enrich us. Especially when it’s your subconscious, eager to reveal its secrets to you.

Just remember, you are the river, the caiman, and the jaguar.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Maps Lie / October 16, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The map is not the territory, which means it lies. The moment it’s printed, it’s already outdated. Sure, a nature reserve changes slower than a city, but the idea is the same: time moves, and the context shifts.

In this way, mental maps and topographical maps are similar. They offer a glimpse of a world that existed yesterday but is gone today.

“All models are wrong, but some are useful,” said Professor George P. Box, known as one of the great statistical minds of the 20th century. The real question is knowing when the value of your most cherished model starts to fade.

Take, for example, a founder who spent years executing an ambitious plan. As long as the terrain mostly matched the map, he moved confidently. But one morning, he woke up not in a pine forest but in salty sea.

What do you do when the gap between imagination and reality grows too wide? It feels like everything he carried—supplies, weapons, tools—was useless. Not only did the desired goal vanish, but now he couldn’t even tell where he was. The founder is stressed and disoriented.

Things will only get worse if he doesn't update his mental maps.

The bad news is this action is uncomfortable. Especially if the founder is desperately clinging to “yesterday.” The good news? You don't need to invest millions in new tech, hire a star CEO, or rebuild the company for the latest management fad.

So what’s needed? Just one thing—reality persuaded the founder he can't help but to change. And he started the change from himself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chaos Hunter / October 15, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Some are terrified by chaos, while others draw strength from it.

Take the black kite, for instance. This bird of prey, part of the hawk family, glides effortlessly on warm air currents, shifting direction with ease and diving like a stone to snatch its prey.

It eats just about anything: mammals, birds, reptiles, frogs, live fish, insects, mollusks, crustaceans, and worms. It even goes for household trash and carrion, which is why British soldiers nicknamed it the “shite-hawk.”

But it has another name—“fire hawk,” earned because of its attraction to wildfires. The bird circles near the flames, picking off creatures dazed by the smoke. It even spreads fires further, grabbing burning twigs and carrying them to new spots.

The black kite adapts to any environment, and that’s why it’s free.

Notice the ambivalence in how people perceive it. On one hand, there’s disgust (“shite-hawk”), and on the other, admiration (“fire hawk”).

When we meet a free person, the same mixture of feelings arises.

He will do, with ease, what would never cross our minds. And even if it did, our inner tyrant wouldn’t allow it. That’s why we feel like a knight on a chessboard, under the gaze of a grandmaster.

What do we feel when we meet someone who is absolutely free?

That's right, awe. That overwhelming sense of reverence, admiration, fear, respect, humility, and submission to something greater, something we cannot comprehend.

No wonder so many want freedom, yet so few are ready for it. Philosopher and psychoanalyst Erich Fromm once said: “Tyranny scares us less than freedom.”

Freedom is a risk, which means responsibility, which means discipline.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Creator's Choice / October 14, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

This photograph captures the essence of all life on Earth.

A caiman wrestles with an anaconda, while horseflies drink their blood.

Who is the victim, and who is the aggressor? It’s impossible to tell. One link in the food chain swallows another, only to be digested in turn, fueling the endless cycle.

Unlike other creatures, man has a choice.

He can blindly participate in this cycle. Instincts alone are enough to find food, reproduce, and build his shell—improving its size, comfort, location, and brand. Moreover, satisfying basic needs promises pleasure.

But apart from instincts, man has the gift of being aware of everything that happens around him and to him. Whether it’s a star's birth or a dung beetle's labor, consciousness illuminates whatever it touches.

Here Something emerges from Nothing, as in the light of a lantern on the sea floor.

The world around us is as infinitely rich as the world within. Exploring your subconscious can be as thrilling as digging up the ruins of the Maya civilization. Like fire, consciousness transforms what it finds into new shapes.

Carl Jung wrote beautifully on this:

“There the cosmic meaning of consciousness became overwhelmingly clear to me. "What nature leaves imperfect, the art perfects," say the alchemists... Now I knew what it was, and knew even more: that man is indispensable for the completion of creation; that, in fact, he himself is the second creator of the world, who alone has given to the world its objective existence without which, unheard, unseen, silently eating, giving birth, dying, heads nodding through hundreds of millions of years, it would have gone on in the profoundest night of non-being down to its unknown end. Human consciousness created objective existence and meaning, and man found his indispensable place in the great process of being."

So, to be or not to be a Creator—that’s a choice each one must make.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Pattern Hunter / October 13, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The popular freestyle rapper Harry Mac shared that he’s been obsessively rapping for whole days, non-stop, for quite some time. But even he gets nervous when he approaches strangers with, "Want me to freestyle something for you on the spot?"

Students of the champion coach John Danaher say that in his free time, John is always studying fight videos. For example, black-and-white footage of 20th-century judo, sambo, or sumo.

Fixating on a single thing quickly pushes you up the learning curve.

For patterns to emerge from the chaotic stream of facts, you need thousands of hours of focused attention. Once he understands the cause-and-effect pattern, a master can easily predict what happens next.

To become #1 in X, you need volume, volume, and more volume.

I, too, fondly remember those intense periods when I would dive deep into advertising, management, investments, TOC, TRIZ, philosophy, psychology, jiu-jitsu, motorsports, and much more.

It might seem like I’m contradicting myself—advocating for focusing on one thing while moving from field to field, ad infinitum.

The truth is, I’m interested in the meta-pattern, the overarching principle, the thread of threads.

"Μετά" means "beyond," "more complete," and "transcendent."

That’s why I dived into each field with full focus, but not forever. I aimed to grasp 90% of its essence with 10% effort. Pushing knowledge to 100% doesn’t excite me, as that would take another 90% of my energy and time.

Now, I can see the common pattern in the most unexpected places. When does this become valuable?

At the intersection of different approaches, disciplines, and worldviews.
When life presents someone with an impossible choice.
When the unexpected catches you off guard.
When the future is frighteningly uncertain.
When a business hits a glass ceiling.
When it’s time to find your own path.
When it’s time to reinvent yourself.

Since my expertise is for special situations, I tell my clients:

"Reach out to me only when you can't help but do so."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

A Wise Sacrifice / October 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A fox caught in a trap may chew off its own paw.

The animal sacrifices the most precious thing it has for freedom.

Even if it’s just instinct, such a move earns our admiration.

The sacrifice is significant, but it makes obvious sense.

Now, imagine the fox chews off... its other paw. Nothing has changed — the will to live, the superhuman effort, the endurance of pain, and so on.

A precious sacrifice is made, but there’s no result. “Absurd!” you’d say?

Yet, this kind of thing happens all the time in business.

It's when nobody in the company looks for (or ignores) the "bottleneck".

Meanwhile, the team breaks their backs solving minor problems.

Where does this lead over time?

Wasted resources will lower profits and market value, disappoint customers, and cause competitors to start grabbing market share. The best employees will leave, driven by a sense of absurdity.

Who could have prevented this but didn’t?

The one who:

Separates the wheat from the chaff.
Sets strategic priorities.
Focuses the team's efforts on what they can't afford not to do.

A wise sacrifice for maximum freedom — that’s the CEO’s choice.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Deceptive Beliefs / October 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What holds back the potential of people, groups, and organizations? If we simplify, there are two answers:

Harmful beliefs we mistake for good.
Virtuous beliefs we mistake for evil.

For example, a CEO insists, "If you want it done right, do it yourself." When he first started the business, this was the only way to operate. But now, ten years later, the team is suffocating under his excessive control.

Or take a founder who’s depressed, wondering why his $X00M business bores him to death. His soul is restless, like a wild animal in a dry, comfortable cage. He invests in other startups, but none of it feels right.

The first man is now strangled by what once saved him.

The second is searching for his water of life where it can’t be found.

The problem is that a person can’t see the falsehood in his beliefs. Eventually, time will change his mind. The question is—will the business survive until then?

The real challenge is recognizing when we’re living in illusions.

The biggest obstacle we face is ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Strange Language of Dreams / October 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Many people dismiss their dreams: “I don’t understand them. They’re too ridiculous, strange, and fantastical. In short, nonsense.”

But evolution is conservative and efficient. If phenomenon X exists, it means it serves an important purpose for the organism.

A better question would be: “Why is the language of dreams so unusual?”

The answer: The subconscious has exhausted all other ways to communicate idea X to you.

Think about how you talk to a child or a stubborn person. First, you rely on logic and provide arguments. Unfortunately, no matter how obvious they seem, they bounce off like peas against a wall.

What do you do when this person matters to you, and idea X could save him? You say: “Alright, forget what I said before. Let’s imagine…” And you offer a metaphor to:

Pull him out of the maze of his usual thoughts, that lead nowhere.
Capture his attention with a vivid image or story, so the mind forgets everything else.
Allow the metaphor to deliver the same thought X in a different way.

Metaphor (from ancient Greek μεταφορά “transfer,” from μετά “over” + φορός “carrying”). The greater the mind’s resistance, the farther you must catapult it—like the hurricane that swept Dorothy into the magical land.

By the way, as I come to accept the “impossible” idea X, my dreams become clearer and easier to interpret.

It’s as if the subconscious says: “Finally. Now we can talk like adults—directly, without beating around the bush.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Imagined or Real? / October 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What draws us to fantasy? It frees us from pain, gives us hope, or fulfills a secret dream. Maybe not forever, but at least for a moment, it fills our lives with harmony and peace.

The rest of the time, we suffer. And the suffering grows sharper, the bigger the gap between what we crave and what we actually have.

Imagination is like an icy bridge, promising to close this gap.

In front of us stretches a solid, gleaming path. But with every step forward, the ground beneath us melts away. Trouble is coming.

If imagination lies to us, why not accept reality?

Vanity. Arrogance. Pride.

It's like a spoiled child who refuses any meal or demands a new piss-pot every time. If he believes he's the center of the universe, he’s hard to please. A little god expects big sacrifices.

As the story of Buddha Shakyamuni teaches, even a king couldn’t keep his son trapped in an illusory world behind three palace walls. Sooner or later, reality will lure you out or break through the wall.

Yes, the real world doesn’t shine or smell sweet, especially in the places we wish it would. But why should mud be clean, or manure smell like “Chanel No. 5”? Trees and flowers don't care.

Reality is better because it's true. That means you can count on it.

Rain will soak, poison will paralyze, and electricity will kill. But that also means there can be crops, medicine, and light.

When does one thing turn into another? When we see reality for what it is. And who is man in that case? He is a Creator.

“Happiness is the coincidence between the imagined and the actual,” my therapist once said. I’m not sure about happiness, but there’s certainly joyful satisfaction in that.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Framing the Decision / October 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People often think the CEO holds the ultimate power, that every key decision is made solely by him.

This naive belief usually comes from those who have never been a CEO or worked closely with one.

It’s essential to understand the decision-making process. Whether it’s spontaneous or structured, what really matters is the asymmetry between the manager and the CEO.

Simply put: the manager has an abundance of detailed information about the project, but lacks authority. The CEO, on the other hand, has more than enough authority but only a general understanding of what’s happening on the ground.

This is why the CEO asks the manager to prepare a "draft decision," even if they don’t call it that. A bad manager pushes for a single option; a good one offers an analysis of three.

Thus, the manager shapes the context in which the CEO makes decisions.

The CEO may act like a tyrant, and the manager may bow down, but that doesn’t matter.. The decision is already predetermined, like at a gas station refrigerator—there may be different flavors, but it’s all the same brand.

When making decisions, the critical question is, "How should I think about this?" An experienced CEO understands the inevitability of this dynamic. That’s why he:

Clearly outlines the decision-making process, breaking it down into stages.
Appoints conscientious managers whose goals align with his own.
Invites advisors or a board for an alternative point of view.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unseen Gifts / October 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Today, I spent nearly an hour diving into the IG account of Flowers Gallery.

Even though the artworks on display are wildly different, you can feel the high standard. Turns out, this English gallery was founded in 1970. In fifty years, it’s only natural that taste evolves.

Some people have the gift of creating something out of nothing. Others have the gift of recognizing their gift.

I get that. Even though I’ve worked in various positions and industries, I’ve always searched for and found talented people. Whether they were creatives, salespeople, strategists in advertising, bold entrepreneurs in venture capital, or strong personalities among the founders in business therapy today.

I’m not sure how, but I see the divine spark in people. Even when someone tries to downplay it or hide it from the world. When I help someone embrace their gift, I feel like my life has meaning.

That’s why it’s hard to explain what exactly I do and how.

It’s not about knowledge, skills, or tools—though they help. It’s about a particular way of seeing people. You see light through the darkness of their problems, the weight of their self-criticism, and the shame of feeling different.

That light makes everything else worth it. In fact, people's problems seem to solve themselves, and their confidence grows in proportion to how much they recognize and release that light into the world.

A famous music producer, Rick Rubin, put it well:

Journalist: “Do you play instruments?”

Rick: “Barely.”

Journalist: “Do you know how to work a soundboard?”

Rick: “No. I have no technical ability. And I know nothing about music.”

Journalist: “Then you must know something.”

Rick: “Well, I know what I like and what I don’t like. And I’m decisive about what I like and don’t like.”

Journalist: “So what have you been paid for?”

Rick: “The confidence I have in my taste and my ability to express what I feel has been helpful to artists.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Embrace the Void / October 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

There are days when I have no ideas for this newsletter. Or rather, they come to me one after another. I even have drafts and links stored in my “Ideas” folder.

But when I test them with my gut, I get the answer: “Don’t bother. None of this is it.” In the face of this barrenness, it would be easy to feel frustrated.

It would be so in the past, but now I remember what it means.

Today is the Day of Great Emptiness.

Emptiness is just as important as fullness. Maybe even more important, since we tend to praise abundance and undervalue nothingness. After all, our culture’s motto is: “Go! Go! Go!”

So, when we find ourselves in a symbolic desert, we feel uneasy, ashamed, or afraid. We rush to fill the void with something, even if it’s rubbish.

Don’t give in to that temptation—try staying in the void.

You might be surprised by the birth of something completely new. What exactly? We don’t know, but that’s the point.

Let Nothing pleasantly surprise you.

It’s been trying to catch your attention for a long time. You were deaf to it. Some animals, as you know, don’t reproduce in captivity, and some trees need wide open space to thrive.

You secretly long to release what has been ripening inside you.

It’s time to exhale, so a new breath can come in.

All you need is to clear the space and water it with your attention. Then, get your baskets ready for the harvest, for fertility is the second name for void.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Secret of Invincibility / October 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine someone calls you a fool. You shrug and say, “Yeah, I’ve known that about myself for a while.” Then you offer, “Want details? Just yesterday, I…”

What if even the harshest accusation seems funny to you? You smirk, “How naive they are. They have no idea how flawed I am—greedy, arrogant, lazy, cowardly, weak, and so on.”

Your accuser throws rocks into your lake, hoping to make waves, but you’ve dived down to the murky bottom many times before.

Down there, it’s pitch black, the water is icy, and there are dangerous creatures lurking. But not for you, because you tamed them by studying them first.

The harshest critic can’t tell you anything new about yourself.

So what do you look like in their eyes? Exactly—invincible.

If the illusion of your perfection mattered to you, it would be easy to hurt you. But how can anyone strike emptiness, poison venom, or dirty mud?

You killed your Ego long before anyone tried to kill it.

But invincibility isn’t the goal. It’s just a side effect. The real value lies in exploring your own wretchedness.

You stop fearing and torturing yourself. This releases energy.
You realize your “minus” is just as valuable as your “plus.”
To know is to trust oneself and be open to the world and to people.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Merge with the Process / October 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Put on noise-canceling headphones without music, and you’ll hear a pulse.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump…

Your heartbeat — a process essential to keeping you alive. Yet your “self” has absolutely no control over it.

Isn’t that strange?

The process started, continues, and will end all on its own. There’s plenty more “chaos” like that inside you — peristalsis, hormone production, sweating, pupil reflexes, hiccups, tissue regeneration, immune responses, and so on.

But that’s not all. Ask yourself these questions:

What is intuition?
What makes trust possible?
When does an insight appear?
Where do dreams come from?
Why is it so hard to resist curiosity?
Why did you fall in love with someone?
How do you recognize personal meaning?
When do you realize what you’re capable of?

Well, the area where the “self” has influence, let alone control, is laughably small.

For the proud Ego, accepting this truth is impossible. What’s a balloon worth once you pop it? It’s useless.

To put it bluntly, the Ego mistakenly sees itself as a condom, not the process of love. The first is about risk control; the second is about the continuation of life.

The less we cling to a specific form, the more we merge with the eternal process that creates all forms.

And by recognizing our humble role, we find more freedeom.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.