Build or Maintain /  by Alexander Lyadov

How long will a monumental sandcastle stand?
If you leave it alone with the waves and the wind—not long.

A creation cannot live without its creator.

Decay begins at once. Wear, cracks, rot. Someone has to keep digging the moats, fixing the towers, and strengthening the walls.

This takes real effort, especially if the project is meant to last for years. And it would be fine if it were mostly creative work. But most of it is routine.

Do you know anyone who loves maintaining and creating equally? More often, you see a tilt to one side or the other. I do, at least.

So what do you do? Start and then quit? Or push through, forcing yourself?

The ideal is to grow both sides in yourself—your “logistics department” and your “R&D.” But that takes time. For now, the way forward is a complementary partnership.

Just make sure your partner values your edge. Otherwise, after the growth phase, conflict is inevitable over who contributed more.

But even more important is to ask yourself at the very beginning:
​Do I even need this project?
Is this something I’ve long wanted to do?
Is it worth giving years of my life?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Remember Your Gift /  by Alexander Lyadov

Lucky is the one who knew his gift early. Happier still is the one who accepted it.

More often, a man is sure he was shortchanged when gifts were handed out.

And when life points him to his treasure, he shrugs again:

  • “Just luck.”

  • “Nothing special.”

  • “I didn’t even sweat.”

  • “Well, compared to my friend…”

He feels awkward when others shake his hand: “You have real talent.”

Want to make him laugh out loud? Describe his future like this: “People gladly pay you for what you would happily do for free.”

What dark genius convinced us that suffering is the main path? As if what is real must be paid for in sweat, blood, and tears.

It’s hard to invent a more dangerous lie.

Imagine a dog taught that barking is foolish, and honor means singing like a nightingale. What kind of world is that—where every creature is thrown off like this? In the human world, sadly, it’s normal.

Why?

A child is cursed if he was not blessed to be himself. From this come emptiness, doubt, and the urge to idolize others.

What can heal him is the constituting gaze of another—under it, a person remembers the truth: “I exist. I am wanted. I am needed. I am as I am.”

Only one who was once seen this way can offer that gaze to others.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Cold, Warmer, Hot /  by Alexander Lyadov

We often crave radical change in life and in business. But it gets stuck, spins its wheels, goes nowhere. After the nth attempt, your hands drop.

That’s why it hits when one day there is a breakthrough.

Have you ever looked at the best turning points in your life? Under what conditions did they happen? What did they all have in common?

In my case, one thing is clear: I could not predict any of them. The most powerful opportunities first looked like nothing. So the temptation to brush them off was strong.

But something held me. And pulled me forward. And somehow, I went.

Trust in what does not yet exist. Strange. Meaningless. Almost insane. You can’t explain it to anyone. Not even to yourself.

There isn’t enough trust to launch into bold action. But there’s just enough to take a few steps, half-smiling, a bit unsure. To observe. To post a question. To suggest a conversation.

The actions are tiny, but the effect feels like fireworks over a Chinese festival. Intuition floods with signals. Clarity begins to grow: “cold, warmer, hot.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Strange Step Forward /  by Alexander Lyadov

Watch ​this video​ of a man meeting a male polar bear. Not just a predator, but a near-perfect killer—up to 3 meters long, up to 1,000 kg.

What do you do—even if you’re a 100-kg athlete?

Run? In the animal’s eyes, you become prey. Attack? You trigger defensive aggression. Freeze? He walks up and eats you.

But before the bear decides what to do with you—he is hesitating.

The instructor says, “We do two steps toward him. If we back up, he will just come faster.” Honestly, my mind would push back against that kind of madness.

“You kinda want to keep the pressure a little bit on him. You wanna be dominant. Any kind of movement toward a bear is a dominance behaviour,” the instructor explains as he moves.

The animal and the man enter a space of uncertainty. Each is unsure what stands before him—harm or good. Different outcomes are possible, depending on how each behaves.

The man’s actions say, “I’m not afraid of you. I’m steady in myself.” The bear answers, “Strange one. Not worth it. I’ll find easier food.”

This is how any form of Chaos behaves. More precisely, it responds to the moves you make in its presence.

It’s as if the threat is wary of your unpredictability—your creative chaos.

And that makes sense. Think of those dead-end moments when you suddenly did something unexpected and surprised yourself and everyone else.

You can’t know the unknown within you. But you can build trust with it.

There is a strength that can help you—even if you don’t know where it comes from.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Sacred Mess /  by Alexander Lyadov

RZH

 

The birth of anything new—a child, an animal, a venture—is sacred.

Science can explain the details, but you still feel it: this is a mystery. Some force helps life begin and pushes it forward.

Yet the process itself makes you want to look away. Groans. Strange colors. Unfamiliar forms. Blood and other fluids. Literally and symbolically, a portal opens to another world.

The sacred is splashing around in the dirt.

What a contrast with what we admire later:

rosy children in photo albums, well-groomed kittens and puppies on social media, a fresh-smelling bestseller, a market-leading company that just went public, a perfectly presented wow product on the shelf.

Everyone tries to forget the “dirty phase.” It was overwhelming, confusing, wild.

Forgetting is easy. From any angle, it was a short episode. Since then, so much effort, so many wins. Progress is obvious—and, most important, it seems free of mystery.

So you can proudly say: “I did all of this myself.”

That feeling of grandeur lasts—until the force that quietly pushed the process forward begins to fade. Then people rush, sound the alarm, look for someone to blame.

A wiser person starts to remember how it all began. But the mind won’t help here—it is afraid to get dirty.

Birth and renewal are always a paradox. You don’t understand it. You live it.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

We-Space /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown phtotographer

“Working in a group was a pleasant surprise for me. I’m very grateful for this experience—to you and to everyone involved. This format adds about 60% more value to the process. Sometimes it’s even more interesting than one-on-one mentoring. Everyone was more or less on the same wavelength, trying to make sense of what was going on. Through other participants, I saw myself. Their stories were just as relevant as my own case.”

— Roman Slipchenko, founder of ​Areal.design​

This is feedback from a participant in the February course, “The Ritual of Transformation.”

I’ll admit, before launching it, I had doubts about the group format. Would people trust each other? Would they share their experience? Would they speak honestly about their problems?

It turned out those fears were groundless—when:

  1. The group is small,

  2. The people are mature,

  3. Each person has already suffered his way to his question,

  4. And the environment supports both trust and growth.

A group can offer something different—and more—than a one-on-one format. A kind of “we-space” appears. Like a group of hunters, five million years ago, attacking a mammoth from different sides.

The businesses are different. The Work is one.

It doesn’t matter if the business is big or small—the founder is always alone. It’s hard to find not advice, but understanding: what it feels like to keep going and keep building against all odds. In a group, you finally exhale:

“I’m okay.”

Everyone around expects the founder to be an endless source of energy, persistence, and wow ideas. As if he were not a person, but a god. But a founder has to protect—and restore—his own capacity to found.

Be sure to find your group. In the meantime, ​join the waitlist.​

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Invisible Support /  by Alexander Lyadov

Let’s say you’re making your first parachute jump. The decision is already made, so there’s no question of whether to do it.

Naturally, a wave of negative emotions rises inside you. Anxiety, tension, fear—maybe even terror. This is not just a step out of a plane. Your life will not stay the same. You will become someone else—radically or slightly.

Why?

The act itself—and even the intention—already shows your trust in what may be. “But it may not be!” the mind panics, because it has nothing to hold on to.

It’s easy to trust what you can touch, put in a box, and measure down to the last decimal. Your back relaxes on its own when it feels the solid support of a chair.

How different must your way of seeing yourself and the world be to place your bet on what you cannot explain or even put into words? Not to others—and not even to yourself.

An invisible point of support.

Objectively, it does not exist. It cannot exist. And yet your being says otherwise—because you act in spite of fear and anxiety.

Are you wrong or right? No one can tell. This is the inner dynamic of a person. Still, the experience of others helps—jump manuals, religion, psychotherapy.

With each step like this, your trust in the unknown within you grows a little. The paradox of life begins to delight and amaze you more—and scare you less.

The main thing is this:

No one and nothing can take away your invisible point of support.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Am I Really a Creator? /  by Alexander Lyadov

I never saw myself as a creative person. Maybe because I was always surrounded by people with striking talent.

From a psychoanalytic view, the opposite is more true. By denying my own creativity, I projected it onto others.

No surprise I valued talented people so highly and felt I understood them. Their struggles hurt me. Their wins lifted me.

For decades I believed my gift was helping others realize their talent. Their job was to create. Mine was to remove the barriers that blocked their mysterious process.

Only recently did I begin—blushing, a bit embarrassed—to admit there is a creator in me. It’s funny. Others see it clearly. I don’t.

While building my ​course​, I shared ideas with founders. “What’s better—this or that?” I asked one of them. One of them looked surprised: “It’s your product. We’ll go with your call. You’re the creator.”

“Who? Me?”, I thought, stunned. He was right. No one knows what the course should be. Not even me. As it turned out, I was shaping it in real time—like clay made from lived experience—right in front of everyone.

Even now I’m surprised by this text… it wrote itself. So what did I do?

The same as always—removing the barriers that get in the way of the mysterious Process. Only now, in myself, not in others.

Helping yourself is harder. But just as interesting.

And you? Do you see yourself as a creative person?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Is The Time Now? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

It feels like you’ve hit a wall. Nothing is moving. You’ve tried a lot, but there’s no real result.

How long will this suspended state last? A year? Three? Five?

And then, suddenly, the impossible becomes possible. Maybe only for a short time, followed by a slide back. But the new experience is already in the body—human or corporate. And that is forever.

After a while, the unthinkable happens again. And again. The setbacks get shorter, while the new trend grows stronger.

In the end, the old way becomes the exception. “I can’t believe I once couldn’t even imagine doing THIS,” you say. Congrats. Your transformation has happened.

But why does this process sometimes take years? Why does it feel stuck? As if you don’t have the strength to clear a high fence?

Fear of the unknown freezes you. Transformation has its own rules, stages—even its own language. You have to learn how to think about it.

You need a container—a safe, change-friendly environment: structure, process, people. Without it, it’s hard to let go of control and allow the new to surprise you.

But for the reaction to start, you have to cross an energy barrier. It’s lower when there’s a catalyst—a community of like-minded people and an experienced guide.

You need to diagnose the root problem that created the gap between “what I have” and “what I desire.” You have to see your uniqueness through the experience of others.

Finally, your test action is critical. Otherwise, you can feed your mind with knowledge forever. Real change is lived experience—holding uncertainty while knowing when, how, and why.

That’s why in May I’m running a course:

“The Ritual of Transformation: How to (Re)Breathe Life into Your Company.”

This is the course I wish I had when I was a CEO and co-founder. I had to pass through many industries, schools, methods, and disciplines to offer you a complete product.

It’s a synthesis of hundreds of transformations my entrepreneur clients went through in business therapy. The design also includes feedback from participants of the February cohort.

If you feel, “The time has come,” that’s Kairos—the right moment. The Greeks knew: from behind, he is bald — you must grab him by the forelock.

The English version is on the way. ​Join the

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Pain In The Back /  by Alexander Lyadov

Back pain had been tormenting me for a long time.

It started to threaten both my work and my creativity. How do you read, write, learn, run sessions—if you can’t sit at a desk?

I looked for answers everywhere:

  • I brought MRI scans to an orthopedist,

  • used pills and ointments for pain,

  • did a full set of lower-back exercises,

  • tried electromagnetic therapy,

  • put a special device on my chair,

  • took long walks around the city,

  • bought a height-adjustable desk.

Each option looked promising. Each one disappointed. If there was any effect, it was small and didn’t last.

At some point I got so tired that I began to try anything—with even the slightest chance. And then, one day, the pain started to ease.

When I could no longer deny the trend, I looked closer. The biggest impact likely came from a “​Vluv​” capsule I bought on a whim: “Fine, whatever.” But it was that unstable support that helped.

Desperation forced me to bet not on my own intelligence (“I know how!”) or someone else’s authority (“This helps everyone”), but on uncertainty itself. More precisely — on its beneficial side.

My task was to water one possibility after another with attention, without trying to figure out which one hides the jackpot. This calls not for reason, but for a faint intuition: “Hmm… there might be something here.”

In a way, this is my co-creation with Uncertainty.

Each of us brings something unique, and neither works without the other. This is how entrepreneurs and artists create. Venture investors and poets, too.

What does it take?

Oh, nothing much—to admit that alone, you are nothing.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Too Late? Good /  by Alexander Lyadov

On one hand, it’s too late. There’s no time. It’s all lost. And on the other, everything can still change at the very last moment.

I remember the feeling of a dead end during ad agency brainstorms. A “no way out” conflict with a business partner. The hell of a psychedelic ceremony. A fight that seemed lost in the final seconds.

Say the negative outcome looks inevitable. You’re already at the bottom. You feel sick. Your vision dims. You can’t breathe. And yet…

…this is often the moment when things flip inside out, like a sock. Uncertainty is forced to show its beneficial side.

The Ironborn in A Song of Ice and Fire had a prayer in their drowning ritual: “What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.”

It feels a lot like paradoxical intention—a method used to treat phobias. If, even for a moment, you fully want the very thing that scares you most, fear starts to lose its grip.

It’s curious how often one rule works: the worse it gets, the better. As if fate chooses the clearest way to make its point.

What point?

Nothing is decided—as long as you stay in the Game.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Curiosity Over Fear /  by Alexander Lyadov

Is there any point in forcing yourself to eat disgusting food? Wear shoes that rub your feet raw? Have sex with someone who doesn’t excite you? Try to fall asleep at night with the lights still on?

You might say, “That’s absurd. It’s pointless violence.”

And yet this is exactly what people do when they are not doing their own work, living someone else’s life, ashamed to show their “unacceptable” self.

I know this feeling well. I’ve been there more than once. The reasons don’t matter. Achievements, money, knowledge, recognition—none of it made up for one simple truth: I am betraying myself.

All those signs of success only made the angst worse. As if to say, “How dare you not be happy when you have everything—A, B, C, and D?”

The opposite is also true. The moment I turned — even slightly — toward the vague pull of curiosity, something inside me came alive. Faith returned that life could still hold beauty, harmony, and meaning.

If that’s the case, why not just keep following your interest?

Because it’s scary.

This is the territory of the unknown. There is always a lack of information, skills, and guarantees. One careless step—and reality bites.

That’s why new possibilities excite us—and scare us. They are like a rope stretched over Niagara Falls: cross it and you’re a hero; make the smallest mistake and you fall screaming into the hungry water.

You can’t be half yourself. Not even 95 percent. Life asks questions that are answered not by the mind or will, but by your whole being.

It is much easier to watch real life through a crack in the wall.

But one day, even that will grow old.

Curiosity will teach you to move through fear.

What becomes valuable is what opens up when you begin...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Just Be /  by Alexander Lyadov

Have you ever watched a ​gorilla​ or ​bear​ eat? It’s hard to look away.

Or seen a mushroom release its spores, a bumblebee pollinate, an orca glide through the water?

There is nothing extra in their movement. It’s precise. It’s right.

The creature is absorbed in life and in harmony with itself.

There is no posing. No strain. No pretense.

That deep absorption in being is what makes it irresistible.

You look the same to others—when you forget about them completely.

But with time, it becomes harder to enter that state. Even alone, you feel a critical gaze inside. It cuts the game short, gives a lecture, points out your “mistakes.”

And still, there are activities where the critic has no place: grappling, dancing, sex, reading a book, deep conversation, creating, meditating, riding a motorcycle, building a business, gardening, cooking, surfing.

Each person has his own way to stop performing—and simply be.

Know this: in that moment, you are divinely beautiful.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Library of Curiosity /  by Alexander Lyadov

I have a library… of unread books.

Whenever I find something intriguing, I tell my AI, “Add it to my library.”

No matter how I try to cut it down, the list keeps growing like a snowball. One great author points to another, who leads to a third. The avalanche begins.

The themes can be sorted in different ways. For example:

  1. How things fall apart.

  2. How things get stuck.

  3. How things transform.

  4. How things are restored.

  5. What it all means.

No wonder I created the course “​Ritual of Transformation​” — and not another.

The truth is, we don’t know why we are pulled in a certain direction. At best, the meaning of our obsession reveals itself years later. For now, the body turns toward whatever has captured our attention—some unknown X.

Each new book is added on impulse. But once you have 60 or 70, the pattern starts to speak. It doesn’t tell you who you are right now. It tells you who you secretly long to become.

Want to know your essence? Watch your curiosity.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Inner King /  by Alexander Lyadov

Is America a democracy? Yes—compared to others.

What’s more, it was born from a rebellion against royal power.

So why are monarchic expressions so common in the U.S.? Czar. King. Crown. Throne. Kiss the ring. Bend the knee. Royal treatment.

This isn’t new. The historian David Cannadine argues that the U.S. presidency has functioned as an “elected monarchy” since 1776.

You see the same pull toward royal symbols in other countries that have had no kings for generations. In everyday life, people light up when they hear, “Oh, queen!” or “Our king.”

Monarchs have been beheaded, their power limited, the institution abolished, mocked in every way. Yet the phenomenon changes shape and continues to live on in modern culture.

This is not an accident. Carl Jung pointed out that the Queen and King archetypes live in the psyche of each of us. Their role is to hold order, to nourish, and to bless.

If a person “forgets” his inner king, it returns in distorted form: chaos, indecision, detachment—or tyranny and the urge to bow before someone else.

So how do you work with this archetype in practice? One way is to study art, films, and books where the true image of a queen or king is revealed—and those who refused their power.

The world is stable when the center is not outside, but within you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Doing is Being /  by Alexander Lyadov

At the highest level, doing is being.

This is how a child laughs.
How a jaguar hunts.
How a willow drops snow.

Your action becomes the truest expression of who you are: “Yes, this is me.”

The leap, the gesture, the sigh happens by itself — naturally, precisely, gracefully. Not a single joule of energy is wasted.

This is where your full potential unfolds. And right behind it—the potential of your business. But how? Why? When?

Inside you, there are fewer contradictions blocking life. And more clarity about why you got up this morning. Opportunities are no longer somewhere far away—they are within reach. More return. Less effort.

Unfortunately, you cannot reach this state once and for all. You need to renew yourself regularly at the point where your Business and your Personality meet.

That’s why I created the course
“The Ritual of Transformation: How to (Re)Breathe Life into Your Company.”

It will be a turning point for those who are ready for real change.
Is that you? ​Join the waitlist for the English version.​

What participants from the February cohort said:

“In this course, I found the answer to the question: ‘How do you change anything?’ There is no magic pill. But there is a method you can rely on—and increase your chances of success.”
— Vitalii Shkyl, Co-founder & CEO, ​Mathema.me​

“What stood out most was the unusual approach to business transformation—‘one foot in chaos.’ It’s about connecting with what is real but not obvious, about bringing in parts of the founder beyond intellect. I absolutely recommend this course. It’s a unique approach.”
— Strategy Consultant (anonymous due to corporate policy)

“Would I recommend this course? Of course. Entrepreneurs need to hear that they are not alone with their problems and challenges. And that by looking a bit inside—and a bit beyond—you can build a clear way forward.”
— Andrii Ryzhohin, CEO at ​Ardas​, Software Development

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The First Spark /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown Artist

The great mystery of the universe is how Something is born from Nothing.

Imagine that moment.

All around is the darkness and silence of non-being. Every force in the cosmos — inertia, gravity, entropy — whispers the same thing: “Let everything stay as it is.”

There is not a single reason for anything to change.

And then — a spark. A burst. A flash.

What appeared cannot be understood. And yet it cannot be ignored. The Other breaks free from the background.

This new phenomenon can grow into anything. You can help it. Or simply watch.

The “after” is as clear as the “before.”

The only mystery is the transition.

How did it happen? For what?

And most of all—who is the Author?

You are.
(Whenever you want to.)

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Your Dark Advantage /  by Alexander Lyadov

In one of the Zatoichi films, there is ​a powerful scene​.

He is suddenly surrounded in a closed room by a huge crowd of enemies. It looks bad — one man against many. It looks even worse because he is blind.

Zatoichi fell gravely ill and lost his sight at the age of eight. Since then, he has lived as a wandering masseur. He still remembers the world, but he lives in darkness.

Zatoichi seems like the perfect victim, doesn’t he?

Even though he taught himself the art of drawing a sword, sharpened his hearing, touch, and that mysterious “sixth sense,” the odds are clearly against him.

“What can a blind swordsman do?” the enemy boss shouts. “Drive him into a corner and cut him down!”

But then something unexpected happens.

Zatoichi begins slicing through the candles one by one. Their day turns into his night.

“In the dark, I have an advantage,” the master says calmly. “It turns you all into blind men. If you want to throw away your life, come right on in.”

The boss explodes in rage: “Damn it! Can't any of you kill one lousy blind man? Go get him!" But his army melts away.

Zatoichi wins because of his flaw, not in spite of it. He accepts the curse as a gift and pushes it to the limit. Then he pulled everyone else into the world he had already mastered. His enemies rejected the new condition and lost.

What was supposed to destroy the master became the key to his victory.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Still Typing /  by Alexander Lyadov

Today it feels so heavy there are no words. Nothing comes out. No ideas arrive. Just a dead end and a heavy sadness. It seems nothing good will ever happen again.

I want to freeze in place and calmly watch everything fall apart. The form is unpredictable, but the essence is clear. Like staring into a fire where you are the log.

There are no rational reasons for hope. It feels as if Being has surrendered and Thanatos has taken over the cosmos.

But then why are these words appearing? What’s the point? It makes no sense. It’s stupid. Strange. Irrational.

And still, a fact is a fact. My fingers keep typing anyway. Against it. In spite of it. The act is small, but deeply symbolic.

I remember this kind of hopelessness. I’ve been here many times before. Different circumstances, same darkness… right before the turn.

Yes, every single time I’m struck by this impossible flip. As if someone grabs reality and shakes it hard, turning it inside out.

Non-being cannot withstand the persistence of being. It backs away and disappears.

I can’t prove this. I can’t even fully describe it. And yet something inside me is certain it will happen again this time.

Do you know that certainty?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

P.S. Out of nowhere, a kind person from the distant past called and warmed me: “We think of you often. Wishing you all the best. See you soon!”

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Healer Check /  by Alexander Lyadov

“How many years have you been in therapy yourself?" Make this your first question when you meet a new psychotherapist.

If the answer is, “At my level, that’s not necessary,”—that’s a red flag. There’s a real risk that his “help” will create more problems than it solves.

Why?

Ego inflation. Arrogance. Pride. He has decided there is no one above him. He may be a brilliant specialist—but that won’t save you.

He won’t notice when the forces of his unconscious start twisting his intentions and his advice. The worst part? He’ll be completely convinced he’s doing you good.

You, meanwhile, will trust the authority in the white coat. By the time your doubts grow strong, the damage will already be done. That’s exactly what happened to me.

I asked the question, but back then I didn’t know the answer was a diagnosis. So I endured the discomfort for a long time. Maybe you won’t have to.

Finding your healer is not easy—whether it’s a therapist, an orthopedist, a shaman, or a priest. One is arrogant, another’s method doesn’t suit you, and with the third the chemistry just doesn’t click.

I found my psychotherapist on the fourth try. That was in 2018. She immediately told me about her teacher and her spiritual father. Those are different people.

A master is someone who always remains a student.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.