“How many years have you been in therapy yourself?" Make this your first question when you meet a new psychotherapist.
If the answer is, “At my level, that’s not necessary,”—that’s a red flag. There’s a real risk that his “help” will create more problems than it solves.
Why?
Ego inflation. Arrogance. Pride. He has decided there is no one above him. He may be a brilliant specialist—but that won’t save you.
He won’t notice when the forces of his unconscious start twisting his intentions and his advice. The worst part? He’ll be completely convinced he’s doing you good.
You, meanwhile, will trust the authority in the white coat. By the time your doubts grow strong, the damage will already be done. That’s exactly what happened to me.
I asked the question, but back then I didn’t know the answer was a diagnosis. So I endured the discomfort for a long time. Maybe you won’t have to.
Finding your healer is not easy—whether it’s a therapist, an orthopedist, a shaman, or a priest. One is arrogant, another’s method doesn’t suit you, and with the third the chemistry just doesn’t click.
I found my psychotherapist on the fourth try. That was in 2018. She immediately told me about her teacher and her spiritual father. Those are different people.
A master is someone who always remains a student.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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