Inner Volcano /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown photographer

The hardest thing is to endure your true self.

Inside each of us, forces boil like a volcano and a tsunami.

So people hide from themselves. And then, of course, they suffer.

One lacks the aggression to defend her boundaries. Another feels guilty when vitality bursts out of him. A third plays the naive fool at the first sign of pressure. A fourth is afraid of her own throne.

Since ancient times, people knew these forces exist—and that you must learn to live with them. Otherwise, life withers, both in a person and in a community. Illness, conflict, and misfortune follow.

Carl Jung went further and called them archetypes. Once you can tell these forces apart, you can work with them. And often it comes as a shock: “Wow. This is in me too? I didn’t know myself at all.”

How an archetype shows up can inspire—or terrify. Like nuclear energy, it needs a solid container, skill, and safety.

Don’t go into these depths alone.
These forces quietly seize control.
Someone should be there to hold the rope and call you out when necessary.

But if you can endure this unknown version of yourself —
the impossible becomes possible.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Magical Inefficiency /  by Alexander Lyadov

A decade (1995-2006) in advertising taught me to value “inefficiency.” It was the secret behind most of our true Wow ideas.

How did it work? A client would explain his problem. I’d write a brief and rush to pass it to the creative team. Great—the process had started.

And what did the art director and copywriter do? They might laugh about something in a meeting room, flip through fresh magazines, or go for a walk in the park.

From a manager’s point of view, they were slacking. Wasting time. When I asked nervously, they just shrugged: “Nope. No ideas yet.”

The deadline kept getting closer, and I began to panic. I pictured myself standing in front of the client with… a blank sheet. Shame and disgrace.

But every time hope left me, those magicians would appear at the door. They showed work that left me speechless.

The miracle happened so often that I almost got used to it. “Almost,” because the anxiety never fully left: “We’re screwed. The magic is gone.”

When I became CEO and co-owner of the agency, the temptation was strong — track every hour, count team budgets, allocate overhead, all of it. Business must be efficient, right?

Of course, I cared about P&L and revenue per employee. But I no longer had the illusion that profit comes from timesheets.

No. The agency grew and got richer precisely when I killed “efficiency.”

I canceled timesheets. I stopped managers from pulling on the creative team. I focused on the quality of ideas, not team discipline.

We also worked hard to build a nourishing environment:

  • subscriptions to cutting-edge magazines,

  • a dedicated budget for brainstorms,

  • wild parties we still talk about years later,

  • and unusual outings like the “drunk bus.”

But none of this would matter if we hadn’t learned how to sell our ideas:

First, we knew exactly which client we wanted most. Second, we tied our reward to their results. Third, we poured ourselves fully into every project.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Courage to Be /  by Alexander Lyadov

Every entrepreneur has been at the point of despair at least once.

You’ve tried everything. The breakthrough never comes.

It feels as if fate has decided to destroy everything you hold dear.

Chaos rarely limits itself to business. It devours everything. So it wrecks your relationships, your health, and your faith in yourself.

Whatever support you reach for falls apart like paper in the rain.

And yet the darkest moment hides an insight:

When everything breaks into pieces, one fact remains—you are still here.

This is Being resisting Nonbeing. The courage to be, against all odds, stands at the center of the work of the theologian and philosopher Paul Tillich.

A man chooses to be, even without strength, hope, or meaning. More precisely—he does not retreat. And through that, Life speaks its “Yes.”

Nonbeing attacks, but only forces Being to affirm itself.

It brings to mind an old parable:

A warrior came to a monk, raised his sword, and said, “I can cut you down without blinking.”

The monk replied calmly, “And I can be cut down—and not blink.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Never Bored Inside /  by Alexander Lyadov

Dreams teach me to trust the unknown inside me.

For example, I used to try to forget a nightmare as fast as I could. Now I watch with curiosity to see what happens next.

The thing is, dreams are unpredictable. Even if someone’s head gets torn off, a moment later it turns into a gnome or a mushroom.

Meaning opens to the one who is not scared of a frightening form. It’s as if the subconscious is testing you: “Do you really want to know the truth?”

It reminds me of fairy tales where the hero is turned into a monster. To break the spell, you must see the human through the fur and fangs.

In many ways, it’s a matter of skill. I’ve recorded and analyzed hundreds of dreams. Over time, the valuable insights pile up so much that it becomes hard to suspect the unconscious of having evil intentions or just producing nonsense.

Still, I won’t claim that exploring yourself is safe. In the dungeon, they chain up a dragon, not a Yorkshire terrier. And yet it is your beast—which means you are the one who can tame it.

You really won’t get bored exploring yourself.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Fertile Mess /  by Alexander Lyadov

In symbol drama, I live through images—and then I draw them.

I already have many pictures. Some are so-so. Some are good.

Usually, a finished piece stays in front of me for a few days. While I work or read, I keep glancing at it. And often I notice something new—as if, trusting me more and more, it opens its depth.

But recently I realized that I look at this particular painting longer than any other. Strangely, I never considered it a real painting. It was just a spoiled sheet I used to wipe excess paint off my brush.

One day these scribbles “asked” to become the background for Buddha. And it became clear — yes, this works much better.

The colorful chaos now looks like fragments of his feelings, memories, and thoughts. Or like the mad outer world in which he sits in silence.

That’s how my unconscious created a symbol of the desired state. Everything familiar, dear, and habitual begins, to put it mildly, to change its form. And in this whirl, I lose and regain the center—without which there is no life.

You could call it a meaningless smear that makes you feel sad and sick. Or you could see it as a set of primary colors.

A sentence—or an invitation to create. That choice is ours.

In any mess, there is an abyss of sensations, meanings, and ideas.

And vice versa.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Your Abyss /  by Alexander Lyadov

There’s a powerful ​scene​ in the movie The Abyss (1989). They need to disarm a nuclear warhead at a crazy depth of 2 miles. There’s an experimental diving suit. One small detail — you have to “drown” by filling your lungs with liquid.

No matter how strong the arguments are, the body resists: “This is the end!” In reality, it’s the beginning—a man gains a new ability.

I remember my first parachute jump. I stood in the open door of the plane, gripping the edges, waiting for the instructor’s command. Suddenly, I realized my life had reached a fork in the road — everything was now possible.

After stepping into the Void, my control would shrink to a tiny piece of cloth. Right now, I could still turn back to the familiar and safe path. But…

The difference would be a new experience—something I wanted and could have, but had not yet lived.

It’s a strange choice. The worst risk is clear. What you will gain is completely unknown. Stories from others about the jump carry none of your personal meaning. It’s like a virgin listening to tales about sex.

Inside, there’s only a vague promise: “Trust me, this is worth it.”

Whoever whispered that to me was right. When the parachute opened, the sun smiled at my joy—no, not joy. Ecstasy.

Those few minutes between sky and earth are hard to describe. You can catch that feeling again whenever you want something badly, feel afraid, take the step anyway, and survive.

Here’s the conclusion:

Even the greatest fear will not stop you if the desire for a new experience has already been born inside you. Action then flows on its own.

And vice versa.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Love the Tension /  by Alexander Lyadov

We often see stagnation across all kinds of organizations. People mock them. They say it was foolish that company A, once a leader, failed to change in time—and now companies B and C have taken the new market.

Outside critics don’t understand how hard transformation really is.

A structure is only as stable as its boundaries are strong. In fact, the opposite of structure is chaos—confusion, breakdown, nonsense.

Now imagine something strange appears inside the structure. It seems familiar, yet foreign. Recognizable, but carrying something new.

There’s no problem when the difference is obvious. You can label it “gaijin” and keep it on the edge. No threat to order.

But it’s the ambiguity that creates anxiety. The “both-and” dissolves привычные категории and cancels labels. The structure feels like it’s losing itself. It melts like a jellyfish in the sun.

So the lynching of the dangerous element happens almost by reflex.

Now structure A can breathe again...

…while the fast-growing new market is being divided by B and C.

Their secret?

They love the conflict between the current order and what is new.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Ego on a Leash /  by Alexander Lyadov

Umma, a Blue Heeler (Australian Cattle Dog)

A walk with a pet can be a joy—or a source of irritation.

You’re in a rush to get somewhere, and the dog, as if on purpose, slows down at every bush, like he’s rewriting the history of the whole neighborhood.

You can understand him—he’s been waiting for this moment all day inside four walls. Give him full freedom, and he’ll remember home only when hunger wakes him at night.

The goals of a human and an animal don’t match. Tension appears. A quiet struggle: who leads whom. Especially if the dog is strong and has character.

In the same way, a person’s Ego and the Self move through life together—the Self being the center of the collective unconscious, the conductor of all archetypes. They, too, are tied by a leash. And it’s a big question who is really the boss.

Of course, the Ego thinks it’s in charge. But it quickly sobers up when the Self suddenly disappears — and with it, the energy to live. Or the other way around: the Self swallows the Ego, and the man loses his autonomy, his conscience, and his mind.

Their interests often diverge. They can’t get rid of each other. The choice remains: learn to negotiate, or keep ruining the relationship.

But if the partnership works, such a person is unstoppable.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Alone No More /  by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes I get very scared.

For someone specific, for myself, or for all people at once.

“What do you do with fear?” my therapist asked me.

The list came out like this:

  • Walking in nature

  • Grounding in the body through meditation, breathing, or exercise

  • Watching the flow of feelings and thoughts

  • Active imagination, as Jung taught

  • Prayer

She listened and said, “In fear, there is no God.”

The phrase lit up inside me like a neon sign in the dark.

When I was sick as a child, the same nightmare came with the fever. Something tiny collided with something unbearably vast. The mismatch of forces drove me mad.

Compared to the Unknown, any of us is small, weak, and finite. It’s like trying to stop a tornado on your own. It would be strange not to feel fear.

Only the Absolute can meet such monstrous force.

At the point of despair, a man yields and calls for help—any help. I remember during the hardest psychedelic ceremony, I whispered “Help!”, even though I was sure I was shouting at the top of my lungs. Oops.

But if the call is heard, a Source opens inside you. Your limitation expands into infinity.

What is there to fear when God is with you?

If the word troubles you, choose another: Tao, Void, Cosmos, Self.

The main thing is this—you are no longer alone.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Pace Without Stress /  by Alexander Lyadov

The urge to change comes from a gap between what we want more of and what we have too little of.

The hell of the present burns from behind, while the heaven of the future pulls us forward. This double force makes us move, try, achieve.

But it comes with side effects — anxiety, confusion, stress. Fear: “What if?!” Despair: “It’s impossible!” And dismissal: “That’s it?!” — all of it pushes the tachometer into the red.

You may know the moment when the body suddenly turns off the lights. Enthusiasm fades. Desires shrink. Gray and black wash out every color.

This is a clear signal: stop forcing life. First — reduce the excess pressure: urgency, rush, strain.

Next — trust the natural course of things more often, especially when you want ten times faster, ten times more.

Like the seasons or the flow of a river, life — around and within you — moves in patterns. No need to push against them.

The body can’t withstand a fight with its environment (nature, context).

The mind struggles to admit that its plan is not reality, but a model. Its precision is needed to understand the world, not to nitpick deadlines.

When you understand your environment, your pace increases without stress.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Inner King and Queen /  by Alexander Lyadov

In every person’s psyche, there is both a masculine and a feminine part.

For some, this may sound strange, unpleasant, or even frightening.

Moreover, there will be no real harmony with the opposite sex in the outer world…

…until a person builds trust between these two polarities inside himself.

Otherwise, he will be haunted by conflicts, disappointments, and resentment.

That is why we see in society a constant struggle for power between the sexes. Their conflict is a desperate and often absurd expression of the thirst for love.

In alchemy, their union was the culmination of the Great Work:

  • Coniunctio oppositorum (the union of opposites)

  • Marriage of the Sun and Moon

  • Chemical Wedding

  • Hieros Gamos (Sacred Marriage)

Symbolically, Chaos surrounds the Cosmos — the ordered world. At the center of the Cosmos stands a throne, upon which sit the Queen and the King. They bestow stability, blessing, and care upon everything and everyone.

This is the deep center of your personality… in potential.

Of course, it takes tremendous inner work to find the opposite force within yourself, to get to know it, and to accept it as it is.

This is only one perspective, of course. There are others.

If you want to go deeper, ​listen to the lecture​ by Jungian psychoanalyst Dr. Robert Moore. By the way, at the end of the lecture, Robert shows how to connect with your own inner King and Queen.

Ask them, and they will remind you that the Source of everything is within you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Vortex Over Castle /  by Alexander Lyadov

You can see yourself as an impregnable castle. Take care of a strong foundation, high walls, and a deep moat.

This approach works as long as the world around you remains like a museum. But once things start moving, frustration is inevitable. The bridge rusts. The wall cracks. Wild hordes appear. There is no peace.

The alternative is to see yourself as a vortex.

A vortex has ​structure​. It has power. It can destroy anything. Yet you cannot grasp it in your hands.

A vortex exists — and it doesn’t. A paradox.

The key is this: a vortex lives only while it remains dynamic. Energy flows in from one side and out through the other. The moment this flow breaks, the vortex disappears.

It maintains its meta-form precisely because it contains no rigid forms.

The Belgian physicist Ilya Prigogine called such open systems “dissipative structures” — systems that exist only as long as they dissipate incoming energy.

Does a vortex have constants? Yes, of course:

  • tension

  • renewal

  • swirling

  • dissipation

  • movement

  • rebalancing

  • unpredictability

  • self-organization

So what are the priorities of a vortex if it wants a long life?

  1. Stay open to the outside world.

  2. Never freeze for long in a single form.

  3. Avoid extremes — when the flow of energy is too weak or too strong.

  4. See your instability not as a threat, but as a source of strength.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Describe Nothing /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown artist

Sometimes I don’t know what to write about.

There are no words on my tongue. No ideas in my head.

For a while, you can just sit next to the Void.

It knows how to surprise you. A flash of insight might strike out of nowhere.

But sometimes, no matter how long you sit, nothing happens. Not a rustle. Not a sound.

Then there’s only one move left. Start describing Nothing as it is.

Not as a lifeless object, but as something alive — something you have a relationship with. And it matters to you to understand what it is, what it feels like, whether it’s dangerous or useful.

You can examine different aspects of the Void. Find a metaphor. Catch an image. If you manage that, something shifts inside. A flicker of satisfaction appears.

You can also ask what the Void is stirring in you right now. Anxiety from a lack of ideas? Fear of everything ending? Calm at the zero point? Anticipation of everything that could be?

Sometimes a memory surfaces: “Oh, I’ve felt this before, when…” And suddenly you see what might come next, and why it matters.

Did you notice? The creative turn has already happened.

The foggy Nothing has condensed into Something a bit more solid.

Now you can work with it — knead it, bake it, taste it. Understand it. Shape it into concepts. Turn it into tools.

How did that happen?

You didn’t run. You didn’t dismiss it. You entered into a relationship with the Void.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Create from Tension /  by Alexander Lyadov

Suppose you want to paint a picture. Or better yet — a road sign.

You have a canvas, a white sheet, or a piece of painted metal.

If you could use only one color, what would it be?

Probably not white, right? It’s beautiful on its own, but it adds nothing.

Maybe gray? It might work for a painting, but not for a sign.

Good candidates are red, blue, or brown. But each has its flaw — too narrow in meaning, blends with the sky or the ground, and so on.

In the end, you will choose one color — black.

Maximum contrast. And full freedom to express what you want.

See? The opposite does not scare you — it is actually the most desirable.

At the beginning, we need polarity (plus-minus, yin-yang, light-dark).

Only then can we start to create.

If, of course, we can endure that tension inside ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Who Holds All /  by Alexander Lyadov

What holds this world together, anyway?

Common sense? Funny. Just listen to world leaders speak.

Advanced culture? It vanishes in a moment, like pollen in a breath.

New technology? Hmm… More like fuel for the fire.

Maybe values? Even within countries, people argue over them.

I once came across a thought that struck me deeply:

The world still stands because certain special people constantly pray for it.

At any moment in history, there are only a few such luminous souls.

They must have a rare gift—if their prayers truly work.

You can’t prove any of this. But it’s easy to dismiss.

Still, this idea inspires me, gives me hope, keeps me warm.

Perhaps because it points to a profound truth:

In what truly matters, effort and effect are not linear.

A small effort, applied at the right point, can save—or change—the entire system.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Non-Obvious Source of Growth /  by Alexander Lyadov

You try to execute a move, but your opponent sees it coming.

What now? You push harder. You want to finish what you started. Victory feels close. He defends as if his life depends on it.

Teeth clenched, no breathing, arms locked up — in a couple of minutes you’re already done. And you still have four more fights ahead, each six to eight minutes long.

Super-effort is understandable and familiar, but it’s short-sighted once you’re no longer sixteen. With experience, you start to value ROI. You want a high return on your effort.

The ideal is simple: the result happens by itself, without strain.

The million-dollar question is—how?

One answer: don’t be obvious.

In grappling, this means "breaking the opponent’s brain” so that inside he screams: “What’s going on? I don’t understand anything. I’m scared.”

Bravo! For him, your order has become chaos. Mentally, he has already lost.

This didn’t happen because you drilled more, had a smarter coach, or trained in a better gym.

The key is this: inside yourself, you found Chaos, endured it, and accepted it. That’s hard. That’s why your competitors all start to look the same.

Unbeatable is the one who turns his Uncertainty into a partner.

In the course “Ritual of Transformation,” you meet unknown—or forgotten—parts of yourself. That’s where your growth lives.

To receive an invitation to the next cohort, here’s the ​l.

Below is a review from one of the participants of the February course:

"My biggest concern was that I wouldn’t give the course enough time. I think I could have prioritized my time differently and given it more attention. So I plan to go through it again and have already blocked off a few time slots in my calendar.

I came away with a fairly clear vision—something that can pull me out of the fog of not understanding and show me what to grab onto, like a path with light at the end of the tunnel. And a lot of enjoyment—both in discovering this and, I hope, in the journey ahead.

The shift from abstract reflection to concrete steps happened quite unexpectedly for me. There was no fluff at all. I see the free-flowing format of the course as a big plus. And I couldn’t have asked for a better group—everyone was mature, self-aware, and experienced.

Would I recommend this course? Absolutely. For two reasons: it helps entrepreneurs realize they are not alone in their problems and challenges. And that by looking a bit inward—and a bit beyond the “edge”—you can build a clear path forward."

​Andrii Ryz, CEO at ​Ard, Software Development

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Wow Reversal /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown photographer

At any moment, uncertainty lies before us—shifting, unsteady.

No matter how much you defend yourself, plan ahead, or lay down straw, reality will find a way to stun you or knock you down.

Wars break out. Accidents happen. Cells in the body fail. In an instant, a man discovers himself to be fragile, helpless, exposed.

And then a Hole opens wide—the one we carefully covered with whatever we could: busyness, entertainment, culture, science, and so on.

The mind suddenly sees: “Oh, Anything At All Can Happen.”

The first reaction is, of course, fear. Shock. Horror. Negative scenarios begin to fall like spring snow—so bold and excessive, as if winter only stepped out for a smoke and now has returned for good.

So fearing a dark future is natural and normal.

But if that is true, then follow the logic all the way to the end.

If Absolutely Anything Can Happen, then a set of unknown but beneficial scenarios must exist too.

Yes, it is hard to even think about them. Harder still to believe they might come to us. But it does not matter to the scenarios. They simply exist.

Every phenomenon is ambivalent. Uncertainty contains both sides.

We know this from experience. Many times we have felt joyful surprise at a new event—sometimes right away, sometimes years later.

More than that, we remember how often a Wow-reversal has happened: from fear and despair at first, to gratitude and growth later.

Each time you do not believe it—and yet you want to experience it again. There is something thrilling in not only witnessing transformation, but becoming its co-author.

Flipping the sign of unpredictability makes our existence truly alive.

Fearing what might be Vs loving what is possible.

The dilemma vanishes when we manage to dissolve fear in love.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Free Act /  by Alexander Lyadov

Creativity does not tolerate violence. This is something everyone knows who has ever tried:

  • to congratulate sincerely,

  • to create a new product,

  • to hunt for Wow-ideas,

  • to compose music,

  • to draw,

  • to sculpt, and so on.

All the usual methods of “stimulation” fail here:

  • tighten the will,

  • triple the effort,

  • tempt yourself,

  • mock yourself,

  • shame the conscience,

  • threaten with consequences,

  • remind yourself of responsibility,

  • scratch at feelings of guilt.

In this way creativity shares much with play. In play, as we know, one wants to join freely, spontaneously, and of one’s own will.

When a game interests us, we engage. When it becomes boring—goodbye.

Violence is the gesture of despair when there is no personal answer to the question: “Why?”

The issue is not whether creativity demands effort, will, or discipline. Of course it does. But not to chain the personality to a labor camp.

The purpose of extra effort is different:

to find interest—meaning, pull, desire—at any cost.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

(Un)noticed Kindness /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown photographer

I often meet kind people along my path. Their gentle and generous attitude toward me is something I have not earned.

They appear out of nowhere, like an old sage, a wolf, or a raven in a fairy tale. All that is asked of me is to accept their gift.

But “just” is not simple, because a person can irritate or even frighten. It feels like a test. Can I step past the form to recognize the essence?

And in moments of despair, I become more open, flexible, and receptive. Maybe the kind person was walking beside me all along, but I did not notice him.

When you are drowning, there is no time to reflect on whether it is a rope or the tail of a python. In the film 127 Hours, the man who survives drinks dirty water from a puddle with desperation. Germs, bacteria, parasites—none of that matters when the body has no H2O.

By the way, this is a great test of how mature your request really is. If I nitpick the color of a life ring, ask for a certificate of authenticity, and demand alternatives, it means I am not yet sinking.

But when I am gasping for air and my vision is fading, only one thing matters. Do I allow even the smallest chance that a stranger wants to help me?

Carl R. Rogers said, “People who do not believe in human goodness rarely encounter it.” You cannot convince yourself of this with arguments. You either believe, or you don’t. And you will always be right.

Faith, like a tree, needs to be watered with attention. Surprised by unexpected help? Notice it. Acknowledge it. Give thanks. Even if only in your heart.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Sweetness of Love /  by Alexander Lyadov

This is a delicate topic, so read at your own risk ;-)).

Why are so many people drawn to sweets?

One night an insight came to me (don’t ask why):

Dessert is a simple, gentle, almost naive form of loving yourself… …when the bigger, fuller love self-love is somehow forbidden.

A person avoids sweets in two cases:

  1. when he no longer loves himself at all and has turned into a dry stone.

  2. or when he truly loves himself completely, and no longer needs to caress himself in symbolic ways.

Most people live between these two poles. A substitute for love becomes cake, liqueur, or, in my case, figs and dates. The product does not matter. What matters is the desire to soothe yourself after a bad day.

Sweetness softens the bitterness of a disappointing piece of life.

If that is true, scolding yourself or arguing with the craving is pointless. The subconscious will find a way to fill the lack. And it will do so so cleverly that the conscious mind can only gasp.

In the short term, you can replace one thing with another—just as pleasant, but less harmful. Instead of alcohol, fruit. Instead of a slice of Napoleon cake, a Thai massage.

But in the long run, the goal is different:

To open a source of self-love inside—so fully that there is plenty left over for everyone around you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

P.S. Suddenly I really feel like having some tea…

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.