Pattern Hunter / October 13, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The popular freestyle rapper Harry Mac shared that he’s been obsessively rapping for whole days, non-stop, for quite some time. But even he gets nervous when he approaches strangers with, "Want me to freestyle something for you on the spot?"

Students of the champion coach John Danaher say that in his free time, John is always studying fight videos. For example, black-and-white footage of 20th-century judo, sambo, or sumo.

Fixating on a single thing quickly pushes you up the learning curve.

For patterns to emerge from the chaotic stream of facts, you need thousands of hours of focused attention. Once he understands the cause-and-effect pattern, a master can easily predict what happens next.

To become #1 in X, you need volume, volume, and more volume.

I, too, fondly remember those intense periods when I would dive deep into advertising, management, investments, TOC, TRIZ, philosophy, psychology, jiu-jitsu, motorsports, and much more.

It might seem like I’m contradicting myself—advocating for focusing on one thing while moving from field to field, ad infinitum.

The truth is, I’m interested in the meta-pattern, the overarching principle, the thread of threads.

"Μετά" means "beyond," "more complete," and "transcendent."

That’s why I dived into each field with full focus, but not forever. I aimed to grasp 90% of its essence with 10% effort. Pushing knowledge to 100% doesn’t excite me, as that would take another 90% of my energy and time.

Now, I can see the common pattern in the most unexpected places. When does this become valuable?

At the intersection of different approaches, disciplines, and worldviews.
When life presents someone with an impossible choice.
When the unexpected catches you off guard.
When the future is frighteningly uncertain.
When a business hits a glass ceiling.
When it’s time to find your own path.
When it’s time to reinvent yourself.

Since my expertise is for special situations, I tell my clients:

"Reach out to me only when you can't help but do so."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

A Wise Sacrifice / October 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A fox caught in a trap may chew off its own paw.

The animal sacrifices the most precious thing it has for freedom.

Even if it’s just instinct, such a move earns our admiration.

The sacrifice is significant, but it makes obvious sense.

Now, imagine the fox chews off... its other paw. Nothing has changed — the will to live, the superhuman effort, the endurance of pain, and so on.

A precious sacrifice is made, but there’s no result. “Absurd!” you’d say?

Yet, this kind of thing happens all the time in business.

It's when nobody in the company looks for (or ignores) the "bottleneck".

Meanwhile, the team breaks their backs solving minor problems.

Where does this lead over time?

Wasted resources will lower profits and market value, disappoint customers, and cause competitors to start grabbing market share. The best employees will leave, driven by a sense of absurdity.

Who could have prevented this but didn’t?

The one who:

Separates the wheat from the chaff.
Sets strategic priorities.
Focuses the team's efforts on what they can't afford not to do.

A wise sacrifice for maximum freedom — that’s the CEO’s choice.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Deceptive Beliefs / October 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What holds back the potential of people, groups, and organizations? If we simplify, there are two answers:

Harmful beliefs we mistake for good.
Virtuous beliefs we mistake for evil.

For example, a CEO insists, "If you want it done right, do it yourself." When he first started the business, this was the only way to operate. But now, ten years later, the team is suffocating under his excessive control.

Or take a founder who’s depressed, wondering why his $X00M business bores him to death. His soul is restless, like a wild animal in a dry, comfortable cage. He invests in other startups, but none of it feels right.

The first man is now strangled by what once saved him.

The second is searching for his water of life where it can’t be found.

The problem is that a person can’t see the falsehood in his beliefs. Eventually, time will change his mind. The question is—will the business survive until then?

The real challenge is recognizing when we’re living in illusions.

The biggest obstacle we face is ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Strange Language of Dreams / October 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Many people dismiss their dreams: “I don’t understand them. They’re too ridiculous, strange, and fantastical. In short, nonsense.”

But evolution is conservative and efficient. If phenomenon X exists, it means it serves an important purpose for the organism.

A better question would be: “Why is the language of dreams so unusual?”

The answer: The subconscious has exhausted all other ways to communicate idea X to you.

Think about how you talk to a child or a stubborn person. First, you rely on logic and provide arguments. Unfortunately, no matter how obvious they seem, they bounce off like peas against a wall.

What do you do when this person matters to you, and idea X could save him? You say: “Alright, forget what I said before. Let’s imagine…” And you offer a metaphor to:

Pull him out of the maze of his usual thoughts, that lead nowhere.
Capture his attention with a vivid image or story, so the mind forgets everything else.
Allow the metaphor to deliver the same thought X in a different way.

Metaphor (from ancient Greek μεταφορά “transfer,” from μετά “over” + φορός “carrying”). The greater the mind’s resistance, the farther you must catapult it—like the hurricane that swept Dorothy into the magical land.

By the way, as I come to accept the “impossible” idea X, my dreams become clearer and easier to interpret.

It’s as if the subconscious says: “Finally. Now we can talk like adults—directly, without beating around the bush.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Imagined or Real? / October 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What draws us to fantasy? It frees us from pain, gives us hope, or fulfills a secret dream. Maybe not forever, but at least for a moment, it fills our lives with harmony and peace.

The rest of the time, we suffer. And the suffering grows sharper, the bigger the gap between what we crave and what we actually have.

Imagination is like an icy bridge, promising to close this gap.

In front of us stretches a solid, gleaming path. But with every step forward, the ground beneath us melts away. Trouble is coming.

If imagination lies to us, why not accept reality?

Vanity. Arrogance. Pride.

It's like a spoiled child who refuses any meal or demands a new piss-pot every time. If he believes he's the center of the universe, he’s hard to please. A little god expects big sacrifices.

As the story of Buddha Shakyamuni teaches, even a king couldn’t keep his son trapped in an illusory world behind three palace walls. Sooner or later, reality will lure you out or break through the wall.

Yes, the real world doesn’t shine or smell sweet, especially in the places we wish it would. But why should mud be clean, or manure smell like “Chanel No. 5”? Trees and flowers don't care.

Reality is better because it's true. That means you can count on it.

Rain will soak, poison will paralyze, and electricity will kill. But that also means there can be crops, medicine, and light.

When does one thing turn into another? When we see reality for what it is. And who is man in that case? He is a Creator.

“Happiness is the coincidence between the imagined and the actual,” my therapist once said. I’m not sure about happiness, but there’s certainly joyful satisfaction in that.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Framing the Decision / October 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People often think the CEO holds the ultimate power, that every key decision is made solely by him.

This naive belief usually comes from those who have never been a CEO or worked closely with one.

It’s essential to understand the decision-making process. Whether it’s spontaneous or structured, what really matters is the asymmetry between the manager and the CEO.

Simply put: the manager has an abundance of detailed information about the project, but lacks authority. The CEO, on the other hand, has more than enough authority but only a general understanding of what’s happening on the ground.

This is why the CEO asks the manager to prepare a "draft decision," even if they don’t call it that. A bad manager pushes for a single option; a good one offers an analysis of three.

Thus, the manager shapes the context in which the CEO makes decisions.

The CEO may act like a tyrant, and the manager may bow down, but that doesn’t matter.. The decision is already predetermined, like at a gas station refrigerator—there may be different flavors, but it’s all the same brand.

When making decisions, the critical question is, "How should I think about this?" An experienced CEO understands the inevitability of this dynamic. That’s why he:

Clearly outlines the decision-making process, breaking it down into stages.
Appoints conscientious managers whose goals align with his own.
Invites advisors or a board for an alternative point of view.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unseen Gifts / October 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Today, I spent nearly an hour diving into the IG account of Flowers Gallery.

Even though the artworks on display are wildly different, you can feel the high standard. Turns out, this English gallery was founded in 1970. In fifty years, it’s only natural that taste evolves.

Some people have the gift of creating something out of nothing. Others have the gift of recognizing their gift.

I get that. Even though I’ve worked in various positions and industries, I’ve always searched for and found talented people. Whether they were creatives, salespeople, strategists in advertising, bold entrepreneurs in venture capital, or strong personalities among the founders in business therapy today.

I’m not sure how, but I see the divine spark in people. Even when someone tries to downplay it or hide it from the world. When I help someone embrace their gift, I feel like my life has meaning.

That’s why it’s hard to explain what exactly I do and how.

It’s not about knowledge, skills, or tools—though they help. It’s about a particular way of seeing people. You see light through the darkness of their problems, the weight of their self-criticism, and the shame of feeling different.

That light makes everything else worth it. In fact, people's problems seem to solve themselves, and their confidence grows in proportion to how much they recognize and release that light into the world.

A famous music producer, Rick Rubin, put it well:

Journalist: “Do you play instruments?”

Rick: “Barely.”

Journalist: “Do you know how to work a soundboard?”

Rick: “No. I have no technical ability. And I know nothing about music.”

Journalist: “Then you must know something.”

Rick: “Well, I know what I like and what I don’t like. And I’m decisive about what I like and don’t like.”

Journalist: “So what have you been paid for?”

Rick: “The confidence I have in my taste and my ability to express what I feel has been helpful to artists.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Embrace the Void / October 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

There are days when I have no ideas for this newsletter. Or rather, they come to me one after another. I even have drafts and links stored in my “Ideas” folder.

But when I test them with my gut, I get the answer: “Don’t bother. None of this is it.” In the face of this barrenness, it would be easy to feel frustrated.

It would be so in the past, but now I remember what it means.

Today is the Day of Great Emptiness.

Emptiness is just as important as fullness. Maybe even more important, since we tend to praise abundance and undervalue nothingness. After all, our culture’s motto is: “Go! Go! Go!”

So, when we find ourselves in a symbolic desert, we feel uneasy, ashamed, or afraid. We rush to fill the void with something, even if it’s rubbish.

Don’t give in to that temptation—try staying in the void.

You might be surprised by the birth of something completely new. What exactly? We don’t know, but that’s the point.

Let Nothing pleasantly surprise you.

It’s been trying to catch your attention for a long time. You were deaf to it. Some animals, as you know, don’t reproduce in captivity, and some trees need wide open space to thrive.

You secretly long to release what has been ripening inside you.

It’s time to exhale, so a new breath can come in.

All you need is to clear the space and water it with your attention. Then, get your baskets ready for the harvest, for fertility is the second name for void.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Secret of Invincibility / October 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine someone calls you a fool. You shrug and say, “Yeah, I’ve known that about myself for a while.” Then you offer, “Want details? Just yesterday, I…”

What if even the harshest accusation seems funny to you? You smirk, “How naive they are. They have no idea how flawed I am—greedy, arrogant, lazy, cowardly, weak, and so on.”

Your accuser throws rocks into your lake, hoping to make waves, but you’ve dived down to the murky bottom many times before.

Down there, it’s pitch black, the water is icy, and there are dangerous creatures lurking. But not for you, because you tamed them by studying them first.

The harshest critic can’t tell you anything new about yourself.

So what do you look like in their eyes? Exactly—invincible.

If the illusion of your perfection mattered to you, it would be easy to hurt you. But how can anyone strike emptiness, poison venom, or dirty mud?

You killed your Ego long before anyone tried to kill it.

But invincibility isn’t the goal. It’s just a side effect. The real value lies in exploring your own wretchedness.

You stop fearing and torturing yourself. This releases energy.
You realize your “minus” is just as valuable as your “plus.”
To know is to trust oneself and be open to the world and to people.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Merge with the Process / October 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Put on noise-canceling headphones without music, and you’ll hear a pulse.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump…

Your heartbeat — a process essential to keeping you alive. Yet your “self” has absolutely no control over it.

Isn’t that strange?

The process started, continues, and will end all on its own. There’s plenty more “chaos” like that inside you — peristalsis, hormone production, sweating, pupil reflexes, hiccups, tissue regeneration, immune responses, and so on.

But that’s not all. Ask yourself these questions:

What is intuition?
What makes trust possible?
When does an insight appear?
Where do dreams come from?
Why is it so hard to resist curiosity?
Why did you fall in love with someone?
How do you recognize personal meaning?
When do you realize what you’re capable of?

Well, the area where the “self” has influence, let alone control, is laughably small.

For the proud Ego, accepting this truth is impossible. What’s a balloon worth once you pop it? It’s useless.

To put it bluntly, the Ego mistakenly sees itself as a condom, not the process of love. The first is about risk control; the second is about the continuation of life.

The less we cling to a specific form, the more we merge with the eternal process that creates all forms.

And by recognizing our humble role, we find more freedeom.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Where to Find Harmony? / October 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The further I go, the less I believe we can change the world.

Over millennia, almost everything has changed—except human nature.

Technology can add comfort, speed, and extra years of life. But when it comes to human flaws, it’s powerless. Worse, some “brilliant” apps effectively plunge people into hell.

There’s a clever meme online showing a table of the seven deadly sins:

Tinder – Lust.
Yelp – Gluttony.
LinkedIn – Greed.
Netflix – Sloth.
Facebook – Envy.
Twitter – Wrath.
Instagram – Pride.

Wherever you look in the world, it’s getting harder to find islands of sanity. If not tyranny, then anarchy. Either it’s soullessness and violence, or despair and madness. A buffet-style chaos to choose from.

But if you read history, it’s clear that this has all happened many times before. Humanity panics at new waves, lurching from one side to the other, risking capsizing the boat. It looks dynamic, even epic, but it’s vanity—there’s no real change.

People forget the lessons of the last century, only to repeat them.

Does this sound bleak? Not at all.

Buddhists say there’s no point adding legs to a drawn snake. The same goes for trying to improve people and the world. There is no evidence that anyone has ever succeeded.

Maybe the goal should be humbler—working on yourself.

And by the way, it’s not a given that you need to mold yourself like clay in a potter’s hands. It’s more about learning who you are, especially the parts you reject.

That’s when integration happens, and one finds harmony. Such people radiate warmth and light. Being near them is enough. After contact with them, you become more of who you truly are.

Let the storms rage around. Here, there is peace.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Do You Have Fragile Wings? / October 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Andy Warhol with Weights by Steve Schapiro, 1965

I recall a talk with a professional musician. You know, one of those who got the violin before the pacifier. He mentioned that many of his colleagues are forced to quit performing in their 30s or 40s because of neck, shoulder, and back problems.

What a tragedy—to love, to know, to want to play, but not be able to.

I knew a talented designer whose chronic hand pain made work impossible. One day, this fragile young woman excitedly wrote to me, saying she had discovered kettlebells. Things started looking up after that.

I remember one of my business partners, a man with a high IQ. He worked at a frantic pace, leaving no time for exercise. He used coffee and whiskey as gas and brakes. For a couple of decades, his body held up, but then it started falling apart like an old Peugeot.

Scientists, entrepreneurs, performers, and artists often devote themselves to a world of refined experiences and ideas. They soar through the skies, seeing body matters as lowly and unnecessary.

It’s so human to divide what you didn’t create.

Wholeness includes not only the body and mind, but also the person within the social, historical, ecological, and other contexts around him.

Everything starts as one and only later differentiates into parts.

A weak hand can’t hold a bow for long. Sharp pain will affect the quality of a design. Low energy won’t help you beat the competition.

A creator thrives when he forgets about his body. But not because he ignores its needs—because his body is healthy and strong.

Your next breakthrough in business, science, or art isn’t being held back by a lack of capital, opportunities, or ideas. Maybe it's you—or more precisely, your body’s vulnerability.

In the end, to soar high, you need strong wings.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Awe and Pride / October 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In the movie Prometheus (2012), part of the Alien franchise, there’s a lesson worth remembering. On a distant planet, an expedition finds an Engineer—a member of an alien race that created us and our world. The humans wake him from cryosleep.

Weyland, the wealthy sponsor, speaks to the Engineer through an android. The android, in Proto-Indo-European, explains Weyland's wish for immortality: "We are creators, we are gods. And gods never die." Weyland is elated.

In response, the Engineer... tears off the android's head, kills Weyland and others, and sets off for Earth to destroy all of humanity.

Quite the twist, isn’t it?

Weyland was ruined by his pride. When faced with a powerful, unknown force, he acted as though he was its equal. Worse, he narcissistically expected favorable treatment.

The proper reaction would have been awe. This all-encompassing feeling is a blend of reverence, admiration, fear, respect, humility, and submission to something greater. On Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotions, awe is the fusion of surprise and fear.

What we don’t understand can either make us happy or kill us.

Remember this whenever something extraordinary happens to you. Whether it’s a small anomaly that leaves you confused, or a serious shock that paralyzes you, know this:

Arrogance will ruin you, while admiring respect will save you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chasing Patterns of Meaning / September 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes I look at the list of regular readers and I’m amazed. Not by the number, but by the fact that anyone is here at all.

I write about whatever happens to land in my neural net that day. Like a fisherman’s daily catch in the port of Marseille.

Most people prefer a piece that sticks to a clear topic, not a kaleidoscope revealing an unpredictable pattern.

I get it. I understand the appeal of a “content plan” and its convenience. But, for better or worse, my priorities have changed.

For too long, I did what others wanted to hear—parents, teachers, clients, employers, and so on. It had its benefits—adapting to society. But there was a downside—I didn’t know myself.

Now, I write about what excites me first and foremost. The hunt for meaning, the chase, rewards me here and now. Only later do I hope that someone else will share in my joy.

When you return with a rich catch, you want to treat everyone.

Putting my own interest above the reader’s sounds egocentric, doesn’t it? But how can I call “mine” something that’s born spontaneously, something I don’t control at all?

Out of nowhere, an invitation arrives from an unknown sender. I can either decline or trust and take a step forward, not knowing where it leads.

What’s “mine” here is only the choice and the effort. Because sometimes I have to wait for a long time, track intently, and carefully launch arrows made of words.

Whose trumpet call signals the start of the hunt? Clearly, it’s not just mine, but yours as well. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be drawn to the unspoken promise that we’re not ordering supermarket takeout, but grilling a juicy steak over a campfire in the woods. (Or berries and mushrooms, if it’s not our day.)

In short, thank you, reader, for being with me so I’m not alone.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Biggest Mistake of a CEO / September 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When I became CEO in the past, I, of course, made mistakes.

If I had to rank them, which one was the most important?

It was the delay in addressing the problem of unconscious ignorance.

No matter how long a manager has worked in their previous role, they’re usually not ready for the scope and responsibility of being a CEO.

On the organizational chart, the career steps look equal. But it's essentially an exponential function, meaning the larger the value, the faster it grows.

A new CEO inevitably steps into the unknown with one foot.

It’s one thing if a deckhand or a boatswain makes a mistake, and quite another if the captain does—especially when Poseidon unleashes a storm on the ship. Mistakes are inevitable, and each one can be fatal.

Gaining experience on your own is an unreliable strategy—it’s expensive and slow. It’s more effective to bring in those who’ve already been there and done that.

In a modern company, this person is an advisor; in a Turkic village, it’s the aksakal—literally "white-beard," essentially a wise man. It’s not enough to go through a lot and accumulate experience—you have to integrate it too.

The advisor’s role is to improve the CEO’s judgment by highlighting risks and opportunities the CEO doesn’t even know exist.

When Don Corleone made his son Michael the head of the mafia clan, he kept offering golden advice on who and how would betray him.

If I could speak to myself as a CEO in 2001 and 2008, I’d say:

"First, find the person (or people) who will strengthen your decisions a hundredfold."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Upside Down Beliefs / September 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In modern culture, much of it is backward and upside down.

For example, ask anyone if they’re satisfied with their life. Most likely, they’ll say, "No, I’m missing a lot. I’ll only be happy once I finally get 1, 2, and 3."

Then, ask them what they think of their future, and you’ll probably hear, "I'm terrified that X, Y, or Z might occur."

This kind of person can't help but suffer. How could they not? On one hand, they’re disappointed with what they already have. On the other hand, they’re afraid of what’s inevitably coming.

The present reality doesn’t meet their past expectations. And the future has already let them down by not giving them what they wished.

But saying “doesn’t meet” or “let down” is naive. It's not reality that has a problem—it’s them. Reality couldn’t care less about people.

While we imagine all kinds of things, existence just is.

The way out is in the same place as the way in. If illusions bring suffering, then the search for truth brings freedom, joy, and peace.

Let’s turn these popular beliefs inside out, like socks:

“I’m grateful for what I already have.”

“I trust whatever is yet to come.”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Playfully Aware / September 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

According to the historian of card games, David Parlett, the Joker was added to the 32-card deck in the 1850s specifically for the game of Euchre. The blank card held the highest rank of all [1].

Traditionally, Jokers are depicted as jesters.

But emptiness isn’t nothingness—it’s the freedom to be anyone.

The humor here is no accident. It lifts us above misfortune, suffering, and pain. After all, the best jester is the one who first mocks himself mercilessly and only then others.

The Joker shares much in common with the Trickster—“a demonically-comic antagonist of the cultural hero, with traits of a rogue and prankster.” The Trickster doesn’t follow the rules—not out of malice, but for the love of the game itself [2].

Sometimes rules need to be broken if they’re slowing down the flow of life.

The Joker is also often compared to the card “Fool” or “Madman” in Tarot decks. There, his task is to perceive the new with an open mind, to learn through play, and his goal is to find joy in life, gaining experience through playful discovery. He is resourceful, trusts his instincts, is curious, incredibly open, eager to try everything for himself—yet carefree and light-hearted [3].

Being open to the new always carries greater risk.

But it’s important to distinguish between pointless risk due to recklessness and residual risk. The latter is an inherent part of novelty itself.

Emptiness, humor, freedom, curiosity, resourcefulness, initiative, and audacity—they’re divine gifts when these traits emerge in a person not impulsively, but consciously.

We all want awareness in an instant. But it’s more like the growth rings of a tree or a stalagmite. Life drips onto us from above, entering us drop by drop. Just don’t refuse—take it!

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Ultimate Tool / September 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What tool would you choose as the most versatile? One that could help you anywhere, in any situation:

In everyday life or in extreme conditions.
To patch up your body and fix a machine.
To help a friend and immobilize an enemy.
In the city and the woods.
On land and water.

The tool must be compact, reliable, easy to use, and not require any extra materials.

A shovel? A hammer? A knife? An axe? A saw? A ruler? A needle? A pencil?

I’d choose reinforced duct tape.

In 1882, the German Paul Beiersdorf patented medical adhesive tape, and in 1901, Oskar Troplowitz named it Leukoplast. In the 1920s, Richard Drew of 3M invented “Scotch tape,” and in 1942, 3M and Johnson & Johnson developed a military version. Soldiers used it everywhere, and after the war, it became popular all over the place [1].

I always carry duct tape in my jiu-jitsu bag. It’s perfect for taping up an injured foot or hand. The wrap acts like an exoskeleton, protecting the joint in extreme positions.

What I value most about tape is that its uses are limited only by our imagination.

Symbolically, duct tape is like prima materia in alchemy—a formless, boundless, infinite substance.

If it's not "everything from nothing," it's certainly "plenty from one crumb."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Bon Voyage! / September 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

We are all headed toward the same source we came from.

Your life is not like mine, and mine is not like yours.

There’s no contradiction between these two statements.

It’s like how mountain streams carve their own unique paths to the sea. Then they evaporate and condense somewhere to start the journey all over again.

Yet the opposite is often assumed in our everyday thinking.

People act as if they've bribed fate to avoid getting on the train and will be feasting forever at the Grand Central Oyster Bar.

At the same time, they jealously compare their journey to others’, measuring how successful they are. A scoreboard of popularity, wealth, knowledge, or virtue replaces personal experience.

But your life can’t be reduced to a set of social games—it’s far more complex, interesting, and full of layers. Those who forget this suffer from a vague longing that never finds satisfaction.

A child needs socialization to learn how to hide his thorns. Without it, living in society would be impossible. But once adapted, a person must rediscover his true self, beyond the templates.

To the extent that these two statements are united, a person feels trust in others, love for himself, and openness to whatever comes next.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Why Grapple? / September 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

My friend was surprised, 'Why do you even do jiu-jitsu?' when I admitted that I worry about getting injured every time I step onto the mat.

After thinking it over, I explained that grappling serves several purposes at once:

1. Progress. No matter your current level, training always convinces you: "You’re improving." Whatever happens in business, family, or the world, at least in this area, you are steadily moving forward.

2. Purpose. While rules constrain jiu-jitsu, it has a clear goal—to defeat someone who is resisting you with all their strength. There’s a criterion here, separating reality from illusions.

3. Integration. What’s most important in a fight—strength, endurance, agility, willpower, technique, strategy, or something else? The answer is: everything. In the end, such distinctions are conditional. Fighting is an integration of it all.

4. Physical development. Jiu-jitsu highlights your weak points. Yesterday, you were strengthening your shoulders with kettlebells, and tomorrow, you’ll need rowing for your back. Function comes first, aesthetics can wait.

5. Creativity. Besides fostering development, the game is exhilarating in itself because it requires you to be a creator. In a fight, you rely both on your spontaneous inventiveness and your honed skills.

6. Mastering aggression. In modern society, the level of hidden aggression is steadily rising, while overt displays of it are increasingly condemned. Jiu-jitsu teaches you that aggression is a valuable resource. Once you’ve mastered it, you can work miracles even in dead-end situations.

7. Contact. Though the embraces in a fight may feel like bear hugs, it’s still physical contact. Science says that hugs lower the stress hormone cortisol and increase oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. After sparring, your body might be tired, but your spirit sings lively songs.

8. Self-discovery. The mat is a mini-laboratory where you experiment on yourself. How do you react to victories and defeats? What do you feel when you're stuck? How do you decide when to give up or try something else? Who you are in the little reveals who you are in all.

9. Community. The effort and risks weed out people who don’t belong. That leaves only those who want something roughly similar to what you do. Even if you're a misanthrope, growth in grappling demands interaction with others. So total loneliness won’t threaten you anymore.

The list could go on, but isn’t this enough reason to try jiu-jitsu?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.