Are You Really Hungry? / June 15, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

"A hungry mouse is ready to eat a cat" (Chinese proverb).

So, the question isn't about aggression, weight, or the size of fangs. The main motivator is desperate need. For what?

Let's say a person is safe, financially stable, and socially accepted. Why then might he or she feel desperate, powerless, and hollow?

This is an existential vacuum. The person's life lacks meaning.

Nothing in the world can fill this void. At best, it can be temporarily covered with a hand or a patch. Entertainment, alcohol, and drugs try, but they don't help in the long run.

Sounds grim, right? But the solution is right here.

Meaninglessness cancels out everything a person might have. So, meaninglessness nullifies everything a person may have. But equally true is the opposite. Herein lies a hidden source of strength.

The lack of meaning, like hunger, points to a shortage of "food." But a different kind of food that feeds the soul, not the body.

The question: Who will overcome human wickedness and the whims of fate?

The answer: The one who wholeheartedly pursues meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

What Makes You an Introvert? / June 14, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Taking a test, I discovered a new perspective on extroverts and introverts. Typically, people think extroverts crave company while introverts long for solitude.

But why? Personality theorists say the difference lies in how we handle stimulation.

Introverts are more sensitive to external stimuli. Their sensors react to even the slightest signals. Simply put, they don't need to stick their heads in the pot to know what's cooking.

That's why introverts prefer small groups or one-on-one conversations. Their ideal is independent, analytical work that demands intense brainpower.

Extroverts are less sensitive to external stimuli. So, they seek more of it. They thrive in large gatherings. They are sociable and quick to assert themselves. In other words, introverts don't need to do dozens of interviews, sit through long meetings, or stay at parties until dawn. A few minutes of conversation, and they've got the gist.

Having gathered the data, introverts dive into analysis and synthesis. This is their strength and, of course, their weakness. They risk losing touch with reality, getting caught up in drawing intricate plans.

Changing oneself is hard, though a little fine-tuning is possible. That's why businesses thrive when partners are an extrovert and an introvert.

However, an alliance of opposites doesn’t form by itself. It demands constant and significant effort from both sides.

Why? The other’s difference can be frightening, irritating, and provoke conflict.

Only a mature person values the creative union of yin and yang.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Together Or Alone? / June 13, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Disconnection from our context causes many human problems.

"I am an individual," declares the raindrop on a car hood.

Sure, each of us has a unique mind, body, personality, and so on.

But even your body isn't yours alone. It's a "joint venture" with microbiota. A 70 kg person has about 30 trillion body cells and around 40 trillion microorganisms [1].

A fish out of water stops being a fish. Photosynthesis in trees is impossible without CO2. The same interdependence exists between us and society, culture, nature, and the cosmos.

In this sense, the idea of a lone individual is nonsense or pride.

For me to write these words, it took the unseen efforts of countless people. They created, maintained, and developed the context—from myths and game theory to plumbing and laptops.

In turn, my words also impact others. Ideally, every person dances with their environment. And as we know, the point of dancing is not the dancers but the dance itself.

Our isolation leads to discord with our environment, i.e. loss of rhythm and stepping on our partner's toes.

For instance, conflicts arise in business when parts of it focus only on themselves. The parts are shareholders, departments, or employees. The company loses its vitality. The dance stops.

What's the solution? Forget yourself for a while.

Shift focus from self to system, environment, and context.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Growth Against Entropy / June 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Sagrada Família Basilica, Barcelona, 1906

Rest is only possible while the ball rolls by inertia.

You can safely drive over a bridge until it needs major repairs.

A business makes money as long as its model fits the market.

In other words, you always fight entropy, the measure of disorder.

Have you created something valuable?

Entropy immediately starts to break it down:

Friction slows things down.
Efficiency drops.
Bolts loosen.
Dust, debris, and errors accumulate.
Complacency, corruption, and conflicts arise.

But you still have some time left. Ideally, it's enough to recover, prepare, and strike the ball again.

If your effort matches entropy, the status quo remains. But progress in the future is only possible through sacrifice today.

An entrepreneur with a cash gap plans one day at a time. But the architect Antoni Gaudí planned the Sagrada Família decades ahead, beyond his death.

Thus, we have three sequential goals:

Survive day by day.
Methodically maintain what you already have.
Create maximum value for the future, without rushing.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Fear Less, Learn Faster / June 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

If grapplers are too aggressive, training loses its meaning. Chaos increases the risk of injury. Fighting becomes conservative. As a result, learning slows down. Mastery doesn't grow.

In some pairs, aggression is off the charts. Either the desire to win is too strong, or the prospect of losing is unbearable.

In such cases, I suggest to my opponent: "Let's make it harder. In addition to trying to win, you have to tap out twice. If you don't manage to tap out, you lose."

The quality of the fight changes drastically. The fear of losing disappears. The match becomes dynamic, inventive, and exciting. We want to experiment. We help each other grow.

This is how paradoxical intention works. This is Viktor Frankl's method of logotherapy. It cures phobias through the attitude: "You must desire with all your heart what you fear most."

This method works in psychotherapy, sports, and business. When faced with something scary or challenging, set a goal: "I must make a specific number of mistakes."

You'll see—getting there will be easier and more fun.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Reboot Yourself / June 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Before, when I felt low on energy, I'd quickly stimulate myself with whatever I could find. I used everything:

coffee,
alcohol,
auto-training,
sheer willpower,
guilt, and more.

Now, I do the exact opposite.

I dive headfirst into it: weakness, drowsiness, fatigue, and so on.

It seems like the dumbest idea. You think, give in and the body will shut down, drifting away for a day, a week, maybe even a month.

And yes, given the green light, your muscles relax, your mind turns off, and your “self” slips into the black depths.

You hear the famous Microsoft Windows XP shutdown tune.

But instead of an endless fall into the abyss, you suddenly touch the bottom. This contact recharges you. You feel an impulse to rise.

This whole transformation takes only 10-20 minutes.

Notice, it required no effort from you. A wise ancient self-regulating mechanism did all the work.

You just needed to trust your body: "Okay, reboot yourself."

By the way, at first, it helps to follow the NSDR scientific protocol.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Daily Patterns / June 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Some readers say this newsletter is a big deal for them. It’s like a little island of stability in a crazy world.

Every day, your inbox cheers you up: "You’ve got mail," just like in that wonderful 1998 film.

Sometimes it hits the mark, sometimes it misses. But a letter will definitely come. Here’s a secret—I need this newsletter just as much. It grounds me. It restores my balance. It partially neutralizes chaos.

Every day, something or someone tries to shake my micro-world. From everyday mishaps to global disasters.

A series of rituals keeps my ship afloat, like the mast, ropes, and sail. Prayer, sweaty workout, cold shower, hearty breakfast, and writing the article. Now, I'm ready for a challenge of the day.

Rituals aren’t trivial—they're the hygiene of body, mind, and soul.

The criterion is simple: you feel better right after doing them. Think of rituals as warming up your engine on a frosty morning.

Add patterns of order when chaos builds up in your life.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Implicit Leadership / June 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When people gather together, are they a group? No, they're just a crowd.

Anarchy, lawlessness, and chaos reign. This means suffering is at its peak.

The situation improves a bit if the crowd has a leader. Even if he is weak and many secretly despise him, bad order is better than disorder.

The next level is when the leader inspires fear in his followers. He holds power firmly and punishes the disobedient harshly. This increases the group's security and manageability.

But such efficiency is nothing compared to a Leader who commands respect and love. There's no friction between him and the people. They eagerly follow his orders, trusting his intentions and purpose.

But even this isn't the ultimate.

The true leader is the one who isn't seen but guides everyone.

Lao-Tzu expressed this ideal of leadership perfectly:

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.
The lesser are loved and praised.
The even lesser are feared.
The least are despised.

Those who show no trust will not be trusted.

The vigilant leader spares his words.
He succeeds, completes his task,
And people say: ‘We did it ourselves."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Fruitful Void / June 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

No one knows where Wow ideas come from.

Well, people have a hunch, but they feel awkward saying it.

Ideas come from the Void.

Yes, if you think about it as a lack of anything, it sounds silly.

But if you consider it as the unmanifested, the invisible, and the formless, then the word "void" gains a profound meaning.

A blank page can become both nonsense and a masterpiece.

Rich soil can grow both weeds and wheat.

A pot's value isn't in its walls but in the space you can fill.

Nothing contains Everything.

That's why creative people stay connected to the source of the new.

Unlike "sensible" people, they don't cram their days full of "important" tasks.

Creators intentionally make time for doing nothing.

In those gaps, Ideas squeeze through from the Void.

It's thanks to them that worn-out Life gets renewed.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Honest Deal / June 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Pied de Sylvie Guillem, Paris, 1989 © Gilles Tapie

Lies are like candy, drugs, or alcohol. In the short term, they help us get what we desperately want.

Examples are everywhere:

Turbo-boosting your social media profile.
Hiring a top HR Director to reduce conflicts.
Algorithms to seduce the opposite sex.
Miracle shots to turn a flabby butt into a nut.

The problem is, this deceives Reality. It's trying to seem, not to be. You can ignore gravity too, but only for a while.

Let's say black magic helped an impostor climb to the throne. But deep down, he knows he's a fraud, a manipulator, a cheat. This leads to fear of being overthrown and piling up more lies.

A person stops knowing what's fake and what's real. This break from reality turns mistakes into a snowball.

Disaster, or at least a hard landing, is inevitable.

An influencer frantically tries to please the crowd.
A CEO hears fewer complaints but loses power and control.
Sexual conquests don't fill the existential void; they widen it.
A BBL butt is making rich doctors.

What's the alternative? Make an honest deal with Reality.

A costly sacrifice today for a generous reward later.

Create the greatest value for a chosen few, not for everyone.
Identify the root cause of conflicts in the company.
Work on yourself to avoid needing to manipulate others.
Weave sports into your life to strengthen both body and self.

There are no guarantees; failure can leave even the best with nothing.

But no one offers you a better deal.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Above the Storm / June 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Bruce McCandless II, NASA, February 12, 1984

Of course, there are conflicts. But in reality, they don't exist.

How is that possible? It sounds like nonsense, an allogism.

Imagine a cloud. It looks solid. It moves. It takes different shapes.

A storm cloud pours rain and lightning. It blocks the sun. It brings gloom.

But rise higher, and you'll find beauty, harmony, and peace.

"At a certain height, the conflict is resolved," says my therapist.

The harmful factor loses its power. It exists, but not for you.

Your perspective is all that changed. It went from looking up to looking down.

That's why conflicts sometimes seem solid, then get immediately resolved.

Are you ready for takeoff? I'll start the countdown: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Naked Titans / June 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

For 29 years, I've met many owners of large, fast-growing companies. They share a quality that captivates me.

Their vulnerability is stunning.

For example, they admit they have no idea how to solve a dangerous problem, even after trying everything.

They sincerely ask a young manager to explain a new social trend, even though everyone else looks up to them.

Or they state the fact that without signing an investment deal within the next month, their super-business will have to close.

Or they voice their confusion: "I can't force myself to engage in the company's affairs anymore. Am I burnt out?"

People with far less intelligence, experience, and achievements act like perfect gods. But these titans fearlessly expose their Achilles' heel.

Don't they mind getting hit? Of course, they'll suffer. But they have something that outweighs the pain.

The potential of the company or personal discomfort? The answer is obvious.

If your mission is so full of meaning, then worrying about the vulnerability of your ego is both ridiculous and a waste of time.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Three categories of people / June 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A cynical entrepreneur once told me, "People fall into three categories. 10% are pathologically honest in any situation. Another 10% will always lie. The remaining 80% act based on circumstances."

Maybe the distribution is different, like 5-5-90 or 1-1-98. Sometimes, a righteous person stumbles, and a villain sincerely repents.

But the "circumstantial" category is always large and stable. These people find themselves on the hornes of dilemma again and again—tell the truth or lie. And if not to others, then certainly to themselves.

Do you consider yourself a good person? Maybe that's your first lie.

It makes you deny what you dislike in yourself. Unfortunately, unwanted traits don't disappear. They go underground and sabotage you when you least expect it.

In these moments, you're surprised by your decisions, reactions, or behavior: "That's so unlike me. What came over me?"

So, what should you do? Study yourself well.

Oh, you'll find many surprises! Virtues will reveal hidden motives. And what seemed terrible and ugly might contain a precious gift.

Carl Jung said, "No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." It seems the path to a perfect Eden lies through impenetrable filth.

A good person is someone who realizes how bad he is.

Each day, he lies less to himself, and thus, to everyone.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Dealing with Illusions / June 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Everything around us isn't what it seems. Yet sometimes, it looks convincing.

We don't see reality. We see our perception of it.

Sadly, our senses are far from perfect.

Alone, they’re easy to deceive.

It's different when vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch agree.

The phenomenon passes the "duck test": If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

This principle holds true for any anomaly:

Your boss's joke about firing you last.
An investor’s surprisingly generous offer.
Strange behavior from a business partner.
A tender announcement for a tiny project from an old client.
A candidate boasting about winning a settlement from Google.

What should you do? Analyze the anomaly through several lenses.

The more different the tools, the better.

Ideally, filter every key decision this way.

How? Surround yourself with free-thinkers.

Indicator? After talking, you’re surprised: "Oh, that's a new thought!"

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Reality Sends Signals / June 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A person with a high IQ can doubt literally everything. His pride shakes the foundations of science, religion, and culture.

But there are things even a brilliant mind can't deny.

For example, pain. A skeptic quickly admits that it is real.

By the way, Buddhists consider pleasure a form of suffering. After all, pleasure isn't endless, and a person knows this beforehand.

Among the positive things are short-term curiosity and long-term interest. Often, it's hard to explain why our attention, like a hook, clings tightly to a certain phenomenon.

Pain and interest are similar in that they are: a) real and b) always on our side. Pain tries to protect us from death, while interest points to our potential for life and creation.

The main mistake is ignoring the subtle signals of both. If there are no explanations for anxiety or fascination with something, it likely means a lack of information or illusions of the mind.

Pay attention. The fog hides valuable personal meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chaos and Wisdom / May 31, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What happens when uncertainty is high, like it is now in Ukraine?

The future seems to vanish. The past becomes irrelevant.

Only the present remains.

The downside is that it becomes harder motivating ourselves to plan and work. Investment, at its core, is delayed gratification. But delaying gratification makes no sense in chaos.

Yet, there is an unexpected upside.

In a dangerous situation, time compresses into a single point—"now." This forces us to dive from imagination into reality.

Our freed attention starts noticing things we usually missed. Besides vanity, horror, and disorder, harmony, meaning, and beauty are revealed to the eyes. Both in the actions of countries and in a sip of freshly brewed coffee.

It's a new perspective on the world, on people, and on ourselves.

We become wiser.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Caring for Eden / May 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The word "paradise" has Proto-Indo-European roots: "dheig" (to build a wall) and "per" (around).

In Eden, the first humans could live in endless joy.

Alas, even high walls couldn't fully protect the garden from Chaos.

Even in this perfect space, the Ouroboros-Serpent found its way in.

What's the lesson here?

Eliminating Chaos forever is impossible.

Consider the systems we create here on Earth. Suppose you launch a product or open a building. The champagne isn't finished, yet rust and decay appear in some corner.

Everything ages—ideas, knowledge, services, strategies, and business models. Creating is not enough; you need to maintain it nonstop.

Maintenance is a crucial function, but not everyone can handle it. Patiently checking and tidying up over a long time is a gift.

It's easy to undervalue, especially if you are a creative person.

Check how well this statement describes you:

"I create a lot of value in business, but for some reason, I grow slowly."

If this resonates, read this article again.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Please Value Yourself / May 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

So, you’re an expert. That doesn't mean you'll get premium pay.

I mean $500 an hour instead of $30. $10,000 a day instead of a month.

Even if you're an outstanding psychologist, manager, or consultant.

It's not about too many competitors or stingy clients.

Your main barrier isn’t external; it’s internal:

You undervalue yourself too much.

For instance, you agree when people say, "Oh, that’s expensive!"

Or you can offer discounts and concessions ahead of time.

This creates a vicious cycle. You get paid little but can’t quit.

Over time, resentment grows: "I know how important my contribution is! Why doesn’t anyone notice?!"

C'est Normal. No one is supposed to care.

No one, except for a special category of people. A select few.

After meeting you, they rejoice: "I’ve been looking for you for so long!"

Your clients are remarkably generous. Why? The value they receive exceeds your price by tens, even hundreds of times.

Yes, but where are they, and why don't I see them?

Read Hans Christian Andersen’s tale “The Ugly Duckling.”

That story is about you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Pixel Insight / May 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People often argue about whether to trust your intuition or not.

To skeptics, intuition seems vague and unreliable.

I think of it in terms of pixels per inch.

It's a metaphor for a digital image, like a file or a photo.

Imagine the file is huge or the processor is slow. What do you see?

A low-resolution image. Contours are hard to see. No details. Sometimes that's enough.

Picture this: you're at an intersection and you notice a fast-approaching object in your peripheral vision. What is it? A car or a truck? A junker or a pumped-up racer? Who's driving? What's the license plate?

None of that matters. Your goal is to jump out of the way to survive.

On the road, ignoring a vague blur is deadly.

Intuition comes from the Latin verb "intueor," meaning "to look closely." Why? The phenomenon has potential value.

We grasp what's happening through instant, unconscious insight, not a logical sequence.

Cognitive psychologist Daniel Dennett noted, "Intuition is simply knowing something without knowing how you got there."

There's no conflict between low-resolution and high-resolution images. Each has its own use and application.

Moreover, we can increase the number of “dots per inch.”

How? By combining two types of knowledge - intuitive and logical.

When they enrich each other, you learn in turbo mode.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How to Escape Any Dead End? / May 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Want a universal tip to escape dead-end situations?

Look for ways to meet a global, not local, need.

For example:

Increase the company's profit margin instead of cutting costs.
Endure discomfort today to eliminate suffering forever.
Go beyond your duties to safeguard the client or the team.
Think, "How can we create more value together?" instead of "How can I squeeze my partner?"
Make decisions as if you’re the beneficiary, not an employee.
Accept project losses to free up attention and resources.

Interesting, right? But why?

The thing is, you can’t solve a problem within the system that created it.

It's as futile as a flower trying to self-pollinate without a bee.

It’s different when you rise to a higher level of abstraction.

From this point, it becomes clear that there is no contradiction.

Needs are hierarchical because there is always a higher meaning.

The solution has always been within your reach.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.