If grapplers are too aggressive, training loses its meaning. Chaos increases the risk of injury. Fighting becomes conservative. As a result, learning slows down. Mastery doesn't grow.
In some pairs, aggression is off the charts. Either the desire to win is too strong, or the prospect of losing is unbearable.
In such cases, I suggest to my opponent: "Let's make it harder. In addition to trying to win, you have to tap out twice. If you don't manage to tap out, you lose."
The quality of the fight changes drastically. The fear of losing disappears. The match becomes dynamic, inventive, and exciting. We want to experiment. We help each other grow.
This is how paradoxical intention works. This is Viktor Frankl's method of logotherapy. It cures phobias through the attitude: "You must desire with all your heart what you fear most."
This method works in psychotherapy, sports, and business. When faced with something scary or challenging, set a goal: "I must make a specific number of mistakes."
You'll see—getting there will be easier and more fun.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.