Journey to Self / May 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Each part of my eclectic career has enriched me.

I learned from earning and losing money (nerves, and health).

Advertising taught me how to create something from nothing.

Wealth management proved that security comes before growth.

Entrepreneurship grounded me in reality, curing my illusions.

In venture investing, I learned what to water and what to let wither.

Thanks to Focusing, I can recognize and value the implicit things.

Beyond work, I found inspiration in various sources—from ayahuasca and TRIZ to gymkhana and Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Every new field drew me in like a magnet. But sometimes, the meaning of my experiences became clear only years later.

Today, I do what no one else does. Really?

You'd need to walk my strange, winding, and thorny path. I doubted, struggled, and resisted, but eventually, I took a leap of faith.

No one would want to be me. And they couldn't. Luckily, they don't need to. Over time, we become who we can't help but be.

Interestingly, this benefits everyone—you, clients, and society.

Why? The more you are who you are, the more value you create.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

Why Good Ideas Are Bad? / May 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Good ideas are everywhere.

But not every idea should come to life.

And it's not just about a lack of money.

The problem is that good ideas distract from Wow-ideas.

The №1 constraint in business is the attention of the CEO.

Good ideas, like sweets, promise quick pleasure to an athlete.

But the higher his ambitions, the further away the reward.

A super-prize in the future demands focus and asceticism today.

A wise leader says “No!” to almost everything and everyone.

What’s good for others is evil for him (or her).

How does he tell one from the other?

He has a hierarchy of value.

And the criterion?

Meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Lighthouse CEO / May 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Unmotivated employees cost a fortune. They need constant inspiration, organization, direction, punishment, and comfort. So, having a large HR department isn’t a solution; it’s a symptom.

Motivation comes from the Latin word "movēre," i.e. "to move."

Get it? One employee needs a carrot in front and a carrot behind. Another has a nuclear reactor inside. With or without you, the latter will keep moving forward.

Managing motivated people is easy. They do everything themselves. They learn if they don’t know something. They adapt when the market throws a curveball.

But there’s a catch—the CEO must always guide them like a lighthouse. "Always" means at every stage:

When they watch the company’s trajectory from the outside.
During interviews when top managers answer their questions.
In the workflow, where decision-making criteria manifest.
In a crisis, when leaders must stand by their words.

Why do companies start hiring more freeloaders and divas?

Because lighthouse keepers stopped doing their job.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Who Are You? / May 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Today, a worthy opponent choked me out in the first minute of our jiu-jitsu match. It stings, especially since I knew his signature move.

Half a day has passed, but the frustration is still bubbling inside. It feels like the training session went to waste.

Of course, that's not true.

Winning or losing is a false indicator.

The true indicator is that I got up this morning, did my planned work, and walked away unharmed.

In other words, I moved forward in every way:
- Strengthened a good habit, despite being tired, grumpy, and lazy.
- Trained promising moves with a partner, enhancing my style.
- Several matches provided cardio and strength training, and relieved stress.
- Focusing on safety allowed me to stay in the Game.
- My pride got a humbling lesson: “Who do you think you are?”

So, I won globally, even though locally, I lost.

Notice, I had to remind myself what's truly important to me and what isn't.
Otherwise, my fragile Ego takes the wheel and interprets the situation in its favor.

The Ego is just a part of me, like my subconscious or body.

So, who am I then?

I am the Curiosity that watches Alexander lose and win, lose and win...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Gift of Gratitude / May 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

No matter how hard we try, we can't escape ourselves. This means that in any situation and with different people, we will recreate the world order that is typical for us.

A simpleton will always partner with someone who tricks him. A scattered creator will start a great business, only to destroy it himself. A rescuer will find those who supposedly can't survive without him.

To escape this trap, we need to be grateful for what we have now.

How? What does gratitude have to do with it? I don't like what I have!

If we always end up in the same place, no matter where we go, it's time to stop fussing. There is no external solution, and there never will be.

The point of applying effort is not the paper, the typewriter, or the printing press, but the one who keeps typing the same narrative.

He acts like a mechanical doll, a droid, or a CNC machine. But we suspect that inside the steel shell, there is an Author.

Alas, force won't help the Author. The secret is that the key to his prison is hidden in his pocket. He longs for freedom just as much as he fears it. Thus, he is both Prisoner and Guard to himself.

This struggle will continue until the Author admits, "There is some meaning in my situation being what it is." And so, instead of a torturous problem, he now has an intriguing task.

Did you notice how a curse turned into a gift?

Gratitude helped accept the idea that everything is indeed for the Author's benefit.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Sober Gaze / May 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Drunk people don’t like having a sober person at the table.

One reason is that they sense their own vulnerability. Alcohol dissolves cultural inhibitions. People start saying and doing things they usually can't but always desperately want to.

It's like an Austrian sauna—strip naked or leave.

The sober person sees them as they really are, while his essence remains a mystery to them. No wonder this asymmetry makes the drinkers uneasy, scared, and angry.

But the same phenomenon happens every day without alcohol.

Ideology, dogma, or a victim mindset acts as the intoxicant. These give people an “indulgence” that frees them from punishment for breaking cultural norms. Now, they can do anything.

The only thing that ruins their “party” is the sober person. Even if he just watches silently. His attentive gaze is a reminder that unbridled behavior is not normal.

A dilemma arises: to eliminate the burning gaze or sober up.

This is why “witch hunts,” or the persecution of dissenters and the unwanted, aren't just a medieval phenomenon. Human nature remains unchanged, whether in the age of stone axes or the age of AI.

It sounds grim, but there is good news. If you value sobriety, know that you’re not alone. You will find That gaze everywhere if you look. Remember: there is sun, even when it's night all around.

Note that any intoxicant can be beneficial if it's not used for escape or entertainment. Some cultures have healed PTSD, depression, and addictions for thousands of years with psilocybin, cannabinoids, and DMT.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Too Different Dreams / May 20, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Working with multiple co-founders has a critical moment. I ask them to describe the desired future of the company in 3-5 years. They eagerly dive in, revealing what they thought was "obvious to everyone."

Suddenly, it turns out they envision... very different companies.

Growth rate, geography, team, or scale can all differ. Not to mention plans to sell shares and levels of personal involvement. Sometimes, the company's value differs several times over.

The question is—can the partners make decisions today?

Different destinations affect literally everything:

Success indicators,
Strategic priorities,
Team composition,
Investor and creditor involvement,
Exit strategy, and so on.

Clearly, partners will often clash, increasingly frustrated by each other's "stubbornness" and "stupidity." Employees will also suffer, trying against all odds to reach the goals. But which goals?

It's obvious why partners need to regularly align interests. But what if there's only one owner? Sometimes the situation is similar.

The founder believes he (or she) has a clear vision for the business. Until he starts describing it in numbers and words. How much he doesn't know about himself!

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Don't Rush / May 19, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

You don't need $500 Adizero Pro Evo 1 running shoes.

Forget about the kimono embroidered with golden dragons.

Avoid buying a luxury Peloton Bike for your home.

You haven't earned any of these yet. These are overkill.

Stick with the sport for six months, better yet, a year.

First, you save yourself the risk of wasting money. Beginners' ambitions make marketers rich.

Second, you'll find out if it's really for you. Often, you only understand your desires after enough time in the saddle.

Third, you'll learn to distinguish between good and evil. Every activity has nuances that affect your safety, speed, comfort, and so on. In a year, you'll make significant progress on the learning curve.

Your task is to train regularly and observe yourself.

Focus on the Process itself.

Let the optimal Form emerge from it.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Creative Conflict / May 18, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Opposites clash everywhere we look:

Co-founders argue in court, destroying a great business.
Couples divorce, scarring themselves and their children.
People are exhausted by the constant inner struggle.

This conflict is so universal it seems normal.

What does it mean to be unlike you? At the very least, it's useless. Maybe even dangerous. Hence the denial, mockery, devaluation, and attempts to neutralize the perceived threat.

There is a temptation to frame the question like: either him (darkness) or me (light).

In local logic with a short horizon, it makes sense. If the goal is to stay exactly as you are now forever.

The hidden belief here is: “I am perfect.” In other words: “I am God: omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent.”

Of course, this is pride. “The immoderate desire for superiority,” as Thomas Aquinas said.

Human history teaches that pride is doomed to epic failure. The reason lies in the unpredictability of the world at all levels, whether cell, market, or cosmos.

The real challenge is how to survive and thrive in an environment where chaos is inescapable. The answer lies at the intersection of different, especially polar, viewpoints.

Your surplus complements my deficit and vice versa. The more eclectic our thinking and worldview, the greater the chance of breakthrough solutions. But conflict becomes more likely too. How do we avoid it?

Opposites co-create when there is a developed culture:

Honest recognition of our strengths and especially our deficits.
Evaluation of real problems that are bigger than you and me.
Acknowledgment that the other's difference is a value.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Why Do We Miss Opportunities? / May 17, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Right place, right time.

The success formula is known to all. So why is its use so rare?

When opportunity arrives, it doesn’t look like itself.

Like in a fairy tale, where a princess turns out to be an old witch. The hero’s task is to break the spell. It's tough. Others tried and failed. What did they lack?

They were young, bold, and strong. Their swords were sharp, their horses fast. But lifting ancient magic requires something else.

They wanted to change the world but weren’t ready to change themselves.

In their eyes, the beauty of function was obscured by ugly form.

Not everyone can let go of old beliefs, even when they’re false. Such people will stumble over opportunities, fall hard, and trudge on, complaining about the world’s unfairness.

But some people see “right place, right time” as “here and now.” Their keen eyes spot opportunities everywhere. Neuroplasticity is their middle name.

I bet you can guess who I truly admire.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Inner Measure / May 16, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Who decides if you're successful or not? If it's other people, you are not an entrepreneur.

The market is generally efficient. All the obvious opportunities have already been taken. To create real value, you must act unconventionally, surprising everyone, including yourself.

Unusual solutions only fit when the founder is intimately connected to his environment. He relies on his sense of what must be done right now. The crowd’s opinion is useless here.

An entrepreneur's measure of success lies within.

Like a hermit monk, he knows when he has sinned, meaning he has strayed from his goal. Mistakes are valuable because they point toward the ideal.

Notice that an inner compass is not the Ego. In this sense, a founder, surfer, musician, and poet are alike. They recognize the presence of a higher power with which they seek to align.

To achieve this, you must be extremely attentive, precise in words and actions, and honest with yourself. Then, the giant wave won’t crash you but will lift you to heights you never dreamed of.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Death Valley's Purpose / May 15, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Any startup goes through the "Valley of Death." It's when expenses and problems pile up, but revenues are still nowhere to be seen.

Usually, this period is full of worries, discomfort and extra efforts. Rarely does a founder have an investor with bottomless pockets, or simply sells their product with ease.

You just need to survive the "Valley of Death." Chances are slim, but they're there.

Essentially, it's a sieve of destiny. True entrepreneurs are separated from those who merely wish to appear as such.

The difference is that the former are willing to sacrifice almost everything for the sake of realizing a Wow-idea. While the latter are content to hold the title of 'founder and CEO' for a year or two.

In other words, for an entrepreneur, the supreme value is the Business. Everything else takes a back seat: ego, health, savings, relationships, comforts, habits, dogmas, and so on.

You understandable why a person emerges from the "Valley of Death" transformed.

Interestingly, this path is universal. If you've drastically changed professions, settled in a new country, or rediscovered your essence, a gloomy phase of despair and resignation is inevitable.

Remember, the purpose of this phase is to help you answer the question: "How much do I really want this new X?"

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When You Welcome Novelty? / May 14, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Will you play with friends if you know the outcome of the game? Maybe once, for the sake of pleasure: "I control everything." But not more. Predictability nullifies interest.

Real life always contains an element of surprise. We feel our pulse only when it quickens at the "A-ha!" moment.

If there's no hint of novelty, life turns into routine. Days and years pass, and we, like wasps, get stuck in the syrup. When there's too much automation, there's an impulse to catapult.

Turns out, we need uncertainty. We don't want to know for sure what the future holds for us.

There's just one "but." We're not against pleasant surprises and can even tolerate minor disappointments. But only if we avoid catastrophic failure.

The more protected we are, the more we welcome novelty.

There are at least two ways to ensure such protection. The most obvious one is to increase the level of knowledge, skills, and resources, so that resilience amortizes any harmful effects.

There's another type of protection. It's when you have nothing to lose. Either you've already lost everything, or you've mentally decided: "Arrivederci."

In this vein, voluntarily immersing oneself in comfort, idleness, and pleasure is self-destruction.

While self-restraint is the path to freedom, prosperity, and meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How to Secure a Strong Exit? / May 13, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The essence of business lies in the ability to create value.

With your involvement in the project, there's a "before-after" delta. It's one thing—thousands of dollars, another—billions. It's clear when you're flying off the shelves.

Soon, it becomes evident that being a value generator isn't enough.

You need to not only grow but also harvest the crop. Otherwise, you remain the author while the beneficiary is always someone else.

Sure, you can hone tough negotiation skills to avoid getting squeezed out during the final split. But usually, creators abhor the very paradigm of transactional relationships, zero-sum games, and so on.

Negotiations are ideal when unnecessary, while their function is self-attained. For this, you must be in the strongest position possible. You have it only once—BEFORE the project begins.

Remember—strong exits are crafted at the entrance.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Activation Energy / May 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

I don't know about you, but I can get into anything. Even if it's the dullest, scariest, or most unpleasant activity. Sounds like a superpower, huh?

No, because I haven't told you about the cost yet.

A chemical reaction won't kick off until molecules overcome the energy barrier. To get the system into a transition state, you need activation energy. It's measured in joules per mole.

For some tasks, I have to invest an insane amount of those joules. For instance:

Dealing with a psycho or a bore.
A problem that's either too basic or too convoluted.
Memorizing gibberish or conjuring a Wow-idea on the spot.

In those moments, it's like staring into the abyss. I know there's a chance to leap over it, but it takes a complete surrender to the challenge.

What's the way out? Always ask yourself: "What's it all for?".

It's not about the cost at all. You can give up a lot. But is the sacrifice justified? Or is it just another attempt to tie legs to a drawn snake?

Nobody finds your meaning in anything but you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Pro In Chaos / May 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What to do when you fall off board while big wave surfing? When you can neither see the bottom nor the sky? When you are a grain of sand being played with by massive waves?

Gather yourself and wait patiently for the ocean to release its grip. That's what a seasoned surfer once told me.

The problem is that you never know when the ocean will show mercy. But the supply of oxygen in your lungs is guaranteed to vanish before your eyes. In that sense, both pros and rookies risk suffocation and drowning. So, what sets them apart?

The pro's got a strategy. He stretches his oxygen reserves. He endures the reef's blows. He knows what he is waiting for.

Amidst the chaos, he spots order and purpose. His coordinates haven't shifted. Sky and land remain present yet unseen.

He must grit his teeth and hold on a little longer.

As soon as the ocean loosens its grip and a glimmer of the surface appears, he bolts for the exit without delay.

That's why the pro stays cool. He's got stuff to do. He gives it his all, ditches stupid risks, leaving the rest to fate.

A strategy doesn't guarantee success, but it seriously ups the odds. Why? Because the pro knows the ocean inside out, and he knows himself just as well.

No illusions mean no surprises for the pro. The ocean's both a cold-blooded killer and a nurturing farther. And pro himself is both a helpless grain of sand and the one-who-is-at-one-with-the-mighty-ocean.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Key to True Partnership / May 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

True partnership is accepting the other's difference.

It's naive to change someone's personality and way of being. When you meet a river, you either use its power or bypass it. Only the USSR could afford to turn rivers. And where is it now?

Want to know why there are so few successful partnerships?

Before accepting the other's difference, you must first accept your own.

It means considering the thought that everything that irritates, saddens, and drives you crazy about yourself has some hidden meaning.

It's definitely not a defect. Not evil. Not an extra detail. You are made with good intentions and a wise plan. By whom? When? How exactly?

You have a whole life to find answers.

Exhaustive self-knowledge is not a prerequisite for partnership. But readiness to explore yourself—yes.

Moreover, therein lies the secret of a stable partnership's prosperity.

Focusing on the unknown guarantees that any daunting phenomenon will reveal its positive side to you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Founder's Faith / May 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In the beginning, there's nothing. Just the Founder.

He's not self-obsessed like the others. He's open to the world but keeps his inner connection intact.

In other words, a founder is "and-and," not "either-or."

The fisherman fades away. All that remains is the float, sensitive to the slightest signals. In the market chaos, the founder tries to spot the new trend in time.

He hooks the Big Idea.

But its magnitude is clear only to him. For a long time, everyone around will consider him a fool, an adventurer, or a dreamer.

Nothing explicit yet. You can't present or touch It. Sometimes the founder even has to invent a new language so the most astute would exclaim, "Ah, that's how? That's intriguing."

Imagine the trust one must have in the world and in oneself? Surroundings, experts, and even his senses scream that value is zero. But the founder "unfoundedly" believes the value is colossal.

Before a string of zeros, he inserts a one, which changes everything.

Nothingness turns into Something.

Essentially, it's an Act of Faith. That is, an auto-da-fé-a public burning at the stake of heretics during the XIII-XVIII centuries.

Do you understand why there are so few founders in any society?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Mastery's Path / May 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In the iconic 1973 movie "Enter the Dragon," there's an intriguing dialogue between the teacher and Bruce Lee:

Teacher: I see your Talents go beyond the mere physical level. Your skills are now at the point of spiritual insight I have several questions. What is the highest technique you hope to achieve?
Lee: To have no technique.
Teacher: Very good. What are your thoughts when facing an opponent?
Lee: There is no oppoenet.
Teacher: And why is that?
Lee: Because the word I does not exist.
Teacher: So, continue.
Lee: A good fight should be like a small play but played seriously. A good martial artist does not become tense but ready. Not thinking yet, not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity I do not hit. It (fist) hits all by itself.

We tread the same path in our endeavors. Initially, we master many unfamiliar techniques, learn strategy and tactics, and distinguish grains from chaff.

Over time, as the samurai Musashi expressed it, all these swords-tools become extensions of our hands. Achieving our desired goal becomes as easy as smiling.

But to the same extent that our mastery grows, our "I" must dissolve. As long as we cling to the Ego, we cannot merge with being. So the reality of what's happening remains closed.

Only at the beginner level can external factors like the absence of a teacher or the complexity of the subject limit progress. But if you've managed to climb high, the only limitation is you.

This is a universal problem of all entrepreneurs. As they grow their businesses, they keep bumping into themselves. The more they want to unlock the hidden potential of their business, the less likely they are to delude themselves.

No matter how big your problem, as always, you'll find the solution yourself. Sometimes, all you need is a gentle push. One touch, and the ripe fruit falls into your hands.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Healing Truth / May 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In working with clients, it can be scary to tell them the truth. It's a risk. If a person has lived in illusions for a long time, your words can burn.

It's a conflict between what the cliens need and what they want. If the goal is genuinely to help, their need takes priority. This is where your professionalism shines in risky moments.

But I've noticed when people willingly accept the truth about themselves. In your eyes, they should read warmth, interest, and, dare I say it, love.

Twice they took blood from my vein. The first nurse was in a rush , so she wasn't present. The injection was painful, even though she followed the checklist. The second one worked with a person, not just a patient. It even lifted my mood.

Loving someone else requires honesty with yourself. Otherwise, you'll find yourself either forcing their rescue, watching from a distance, or scolding them for their mistakes.

During your work, you should disappear but be actively present. Then the client will feel like they're the center of a mini-universe. In ordinary life, such an experience is rare. Changes happen on their own.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.