Daily Patterns / June 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Some readers say this newsletter is a big deal for them. It’s like a little island of stability in a crazy world.

Every day, your inbox cheers you up: "You’ve got mail," just like in that wonderful 1998 film.

Sometimes it hits the mark, sometimes it misses. But a letter will definitely come. Here’s a secret—I need this newsletter just as much. It grounds me. It restores my balance. It partially neutralizes chaos.

Every day, something or someone tries to shake my micro-world. From everyday mishaps to global disasters.

A series of rituals keeps my ship afloat, like the mast, ropes, and sail. Prayer, sweaty workout, cold shower, hearty breakfast, and writing the article. Now, I'm ready for a challenge of the day.

Rituals aren’t trivial—they're the hygiene of body, mind, and soul.

The criterion is simple: you feel better right after doing them. Think of rituals as warming up your engine on a frosty morning.

Add patterns of order when chaos builds up in your life.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

Implicit Leadership / June 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When people gather together, are they a group? No, they're just a crowd.

Anarchy, lawlessness, and chaos reign. This means suffering is at its peak.

The situation improves a bit if the crowd has a leader. Even if he is weak and many secretly despise him, bad order is better than disorder.

The next level is when the leader inspires fear in his followers. He holds power firmly and punishes the disobedient harshly. This increases the group's security and manageability.

But such efficiency is nothing compared to a Leader who commands respect and love. There's no friction between him and the people. They eagerly follow his orders, trusting his intentions and purpose.

But even this isn't the ultimate.

The true leader is the one who isn't seen but guides everyone.

Lao-Tzu expressed this ideal of leadership perfectly:

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.
The lesser are loved and praised.
The even lesser are feared.
The least are despised.

Those who show no trust will not be trusted.

The vigilant leader spares his words.
He succeeds, completes his task,
And people say: ‘We did it ourselves."

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Fruitful Void / June 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

No one knows where Wow ideas come from.

Well, people have a hunch, but they feel awkward saying it.

Ideas come from the Void.

Yes, if you think about it as a lack of anything, it sounds silly.

But if you consider it as the unmanifested, the invisible, and the formless, then the word "void" gains a profound meaning.

A blank page can become both nonsense and a masterpiece.

Rich soil can grow both weeds and wheat.

A pot's value isn't in its walls but in the space you can fill.

Nothing contains Everything.

That's why creative people stay connected to the source of the new.

Unlike "sensible" people, they don't cram their days full of "important" tasks.

Creators intentionally make time for doing nothing.

In those gaps, Ideas squeeze through from the Void.

It's thanks to them that worn-out Life gets renewed.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Honest Deal / June 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Pied de Sylvie Guillem, Paris, 1989 © Gilles Tapie

Lies are like candy, drugs, or alcohol. In the short term, they help us get what we desperately want.

Examples are everywhere:

Turbo-boosting your social media profile.
Hiring a top HR Director to reduce conflicts.
Algorithms to seduce the opposite sex.
Miracle shots to turn a flabby butt into a nut.

The problem is, this deceives Reality. It's trying to seem, not to be. You can ignore gravity too, but only for a while.

Let's say black magic helped an impostor climb to the throne. But deep down, he knows he's a fraud, a manipulator, a cheat. This leads to fear of being overthrown and piling up more lies.

A person stops knowing what's fake and what's real. This break from reality turns mistakes into a snowball.

Disaster, or at least a hard landing, is inevitable.

An influencer frantically tries to please the crowd.
A CEO hears fewer complaints but loses power and control.
Sexual conquests don't fill the existential void; they widen it.
A BBL butt is making rich doctors.

What's the alternative? Make an honest deal with Reality.

A costly sacrifice today for a generous reward later.

Create the greatest value for a chosen few, not for everyone.
Identify the root cause of conflicts in the company.
Work on yourself to avoid needing to manipulate others.
Weave sports into your life to strengthen both body and self.

There are no guarantees; failure can leave even the best with nothing.

But no one offers you a better deal.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Above the Storm / June 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Bruce McCandless II, NASA, February 12, 1984

Of course, there are conflicts. But in reality, they don't exist.

How is that possible? It sounds like nonsense, an allogism.

Imagine a cloud. It looks solid. It moves. It takes different shapes.

A storm cloud pours rain and lightning. It blocks the sun. It brings gloom.

But rise higher, and you'll find beauty, harmony, and peace.

"At a certain height, the conflict is resolved," says my therapist.

The harmful factor loses its power. It exists, but not for you.

Your perspective is all that changed. It went from looking up to looking down.

That's why conflicts sometimes seem solid, then get immediately resolved.

Are you ready for takeoff? I'll start the countdown: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Naked Titans / June 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

For 29 years, I've met many owners of large, fast-growing companies. They share a quality that captivates me.

Their vulnerability is stunning.

For example, they admit they have no idea how to solve a dangerous problem, even after trying everything.

They sincerely ask a young manager to explain a new social trend, even though everyone else looks up to them.

Or they state the fact that without signing an investment deal within the next month, their super-business will have to close.

Or they voice their confusion: "I can't force myself to engage in the company's affairs anymore. Am I burnt out?"

People with far less intelligence, experience, and achievements act like perfect gods. But these titans fearlessly expose their Achilles' heel.

Don't they mind getting hit? Of course, they'll suffer. But they have something that outweighs the pain.

The potential of the company or personal discomfort? The answer is obvious.

If your mission is so full of meaning, then worrying about the vulnerability of your ego is both ridiculous and a waste of time.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Three categories of people / June 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A cynical entrepreneur once told me, "People fall into three categories. 10% are pathologically honest in any situation. Another 10% will always lie. The remaining 80% act based on circumstances."

Maybe the distribution is different, like 5-5-90 or 1-1-98. Sometimes, a righteous person stumbles, and a villain sincerely repents.

But the "circumstantial" category is always large and stable. These people find themselves on the hornes of dilemma again and again—tell the truth or lie. And if not to others, then certainly to themselves.

Do you consider yourself a good person? Maybe that's your first lie.

It makes you deny what you dislike in yourself. Unfortunately, unwanted traits don't disappear. They go underground and sabotage you when you least expect it.

In these moments, you're surprised by your decisions, reactions, or behavior: "That's so unlike me. What came over me?"

So, what should you do? Study yourself well.

Oh, you'll find many surprises! Virtues will reveal hidden motives. And what seemed terrible and ugly might contain a precious gift.

Carl Jung said, "No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." It seems the path to a perfect Eden lies through impenetrable filth.

A good person is someone who realizes how bad he is.

Each day, he lies less to himself, and thus, to everyone.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Dealing with Illusions / June 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Everything around us isn't what it seems. Yet sometimes, it looks convincing.

We don't see reality. We see our perception of it.

Sadly, our senses are far from perfect.

Alone, they’re easy to deceive.

It's different when vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch agree.

The phenomenon passes the "duck test": If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

This principle holds true for any anomaly:

Your boss's joke about firing you last.
An investor’s surprisingly generous offer.
Strange behavior from a business partner.
A tender announcement for a tiny project from an old client.
A candidate boasting about winning a settlement from Google.

What should you do? Analyze the anomaly through several lenses.

The more different the tools, the better.

Ideally, filter every key decision this way.

How? Surround yourself with free-thinkers.

Indicator? After talking, you’re surprised: "Oh, that's a new thought!"

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Reality Sends Signals / June 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A person with a high IQ can doubt literally everything. His pride shakes the foundations of science, religion, and culture.

But there are things even a brilliant mind can't deny.

For example, pain. A skeptic quickly admits that it is real.

By the way, Buddhists consider pleasure a form of suffering. After all, pleasure isn't endless, and a person knows this beforehand.

Among the positive things are short-term curiosity and long-term interest. Often, it's hard to explain why our attention, like a hook, clings tightly to a certain phenomenon.

Pain and interest are similar in that they are: a) real and b) always on our side. Pain tries to protect us from death, while interest points to our potential for life and creation.

The main mistake is ignoring the subtle signals of both. If there are no explanations for anxiety or fascination with something, it likely means a lack of information or illusions of the mind.

Pay attention. The fog hides valuable personal meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chaos and Wisdom / May 31, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What happens when uncertainty is high, like it is now in Ukraine?

The future seems to vanish. The past becomes irrelevant.

Only the present remains.

The downside is that it becomes harder motivating ourselves to plan and work. Investment, at its core, is delayed gratification. But delaying gratification makes no sense in chaos.

Yet, there is an unexpected upside.

In a dangerous situation, time compresses into a single point—"now." This forces us to dive from imagination into reality.

Our freed attention starts noticing things we usually missed. Besides vanity, horror, and disorder, harmony, meaning, and beauty are revealed to the eyes. Both in the actions of countries and in a sip of freshly brewed coffee.

It's a new perspective on the world, on people, and on ourselves.

We become wiser.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Caring for Eden / May 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The word "paradise" has Proto-Indo-European roots: "dheig" (to build a wall) and "per" (around).

In Eden, the first humans could live in endless joy.

Alas, even high walls couldn't fully protect the garden from Chaos.

Even in this perfect space, the Ouroboros-Serpent found its way in.

What's the lesson here?

Eliminating Chaos forever is impossible.

Consider the systems we create here on Earth. Suppose you launch a product or open a building. The champagne isn't finished, yet rust and decay appear in some corner.

Everything ages—ideas, knowledge, services, strategies, and business models. Creating is not enough; you need to maintain it nonstop.

Maintenance is a crucial function, but not everyone can handle it. Patiently checking and tidying up over a long time is a gift.

It's easy to undervalue, especially if you are a creative person.

Check how well this statement describes you:

"I create a lot of value in business, but for some reason, I grow slowly."

If this resonates, read this article again.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Please Value Yourself / May 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

So, you’re an expert. That doesn't mean you'll get premium pay.

I mean $500 an hour instead of $30. $10,000 a day instead of a month.

Even if you're an outstanding psychologist, manager, or consultant.

It's not about too many competitors or stingy clients.

Your main barrier isn’t external; it’s internal:

You undervalue yourself too much.

For instance, you agree when people say, "Oh, that’s expensive!"

Or you can offer discounts and concessions ahead of time.

This creates a vicious cycle. You get paid little but can’t quit.

Over time, resentment grows: "I know how important my contribution is! Why doesn’t anyone notice?!"

C'est Normal. No one is supposed to care.

No one, except for a special category of people. A select few.

After meeting you, they rejoice: "I’ve been looking for you for so long!"

Your clients are remarkably generous. Why? The value they receive exceeds your price by tens, even hundreds of times.

Yes, but where are they, and why don't I see them?

Read Hans Christian Andersen’s tale “The Ugly Duckling.”

That story is about you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Pixel Insight / May 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People often argue about whether to trust your intuition or not.

To skeptics, intuition seems vague and unreliable.

I think of it in terms of pixels per inch.

It's a metaphor for a digital image, like a file or a photo.

Imagine the file is huge or the processor is slow. What do you see?

A low-resolution image. Contours are hard to see. No details. Sometimes that's enough.

Picture this: you're at an intersection and you notice a fast-approaching object in your peripheral vision. What is it? A car or a truck? A junker or a pumped-up racer? Who's driving? What's the license plate?

None of that matters. Your goal is to jump out of the way to survive.

On the road, ignoring a vague blur is deadly.

Intuition comes from the Latin verb "intueor," meaning "to look closely." Why? The phenomenon has potential value.

We grasp what's happening through instant, unconscious insight, not a logical sequence.

Cognitive psychologist Daniel Dennett noted, "Intuition is simply knowing something without knowing how you got there."

There's no conflict between low-resolution and high-resolution images. Each has its own use and application.

Moreover, we can increase the number of “dots per inch.”

How? By combining two types of knowledge - intuitive and logical.

When they enrich each other, you learn in turbo mode.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How to Escape Any Dead End? / May 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Want a universal tip to escape dead-end situations?

Look for ways to meet a global, not local, need.

For example:

Increase the company's profit margin instead of cutting costs.
Endure discomfort today to eliminate suffering forever.
Go beyond your duties to safeguard the client or the team.
Think, "How can we create more value together?" instead of "How can I squeeze my partner?"
Make decisions as if you’re the beneficiary, not an employee.
Accept project losses to free up attention and resources.

Interesting, right? But why?

The thing is, you can’t solve a problem within the system that created it.

It's as futile as a flower trying to self-pollinate without a bee.

It’s different when you rise to a higher level of abstraction.

From this point, it becomes clear that there is no contradiction.

Needs are hierarchical because there is always a higher meaning.

The solution has always been within your reach.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Journey to Self / May 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Each part of my eclectic career has enriched me.

I learned from earning and losing money (nerves, and health).

Advertising taught me how to create something from nothing.

Wealth management proved that security comes before growth.

Entrepreneurship grounded me in reality, curing my illusions.

In venture investing, I learned what to water and what to let wither.

Thanks to Focusing, I can recognize and value the implicit things.

Beyond work, I found inspiration in various sources—from ayahuasca and TRIZ to gymkhana and Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Every new field drew me in like a magnet. But sometimes, the meaning of my experiences became clear only years later.

Today, I do what no one else does. Really?

You'd need to walk my strange, winding, and thorny path. I doubted, struggled, and resisted, but eventually, I took a leap of faith.

No one would want to be me. And they couldn't. Luckily, they don't need to. Over time, we become who we can't help but be.

Interestingly, this benefits everyone—you, clients, and society.

Why? The more you are who you are, the more value you create.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Why Good Ideas Are Bad? / May 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Good ideas are everywhere.

But not every idea should come to life.

And it's not just about a lack of money.

The problem is that good ideas distract from Wow-ideas.

The №1 constraint in business is the attention of the CEO.

Good ideas, like sweets, promise quick pleasure to an athlete.

But the higher his ambitions, the further away the reward.

A super-prize in the future demands focus and asceticism today.

A wise leader says “No!” to almost everything and everyone.

What’s good for others is evil for him (or her).

How does he tell one from the other?

He has a hierarchy of value.

And the criterion?

Meaning.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Lighthouse CEO / May 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Unmotivated employees cost a fortune. They need constant inspiration, organization, direction, punishment, and comfort. So, having a large HR department isn’t a solution; it’s a symptom.

Motivation comes from the Latin word "movēre," i.e. "to move."

Get it? One employee needs a carrot in front and a carrot behind. Another has a nuclear reactor inside. With or without you, the latter will keep moving forward.

Managing motivated people is easy. They do everything themselves. They learn if they don’t know something. They adapt when the market throws a curveball.

But there’s a catch—the CEO must always guide them like a lighthouse. "Always" means at every stage:

When they watch the company’s trajectory from the outside.
During interviews when top managers answer their questions.
In the workflow, where decision-making criteria manifest.
In a crisis, when leaders must stand by their words.

Why do companies start hiring more freeloaders and divas?

Because lighthouse keepers stopped doing their job.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Who Are You? / May 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Today, a worthy opponent choked me out in the first minute of our jiu-jitsu match. It stings, especially since I knew his signature move.

Half a day has passed, but the frustration is still bubbling inside. It feels like the training session went to waste.

Of course, that's not true.

Winning or losing is a false indicator.

The true indicator is that I got up this morning, did my planned work, and walked away unharmed.

In other words, I moved forward in every way:
- Strengthened a good habit, despite being tired, grumpy, and lazy.
- Trained promising moves with a partner, enhancing my style.
- Several matches provided cardio and strength training, and relieved stress.
- Focusing on safety allowed me to stay in the Game.
- My pride got a humbling lesson: “Who do you think you are?”

So, I won globally, even though locally, I lost.

Notice, I had to remind myself what's truly important to me and what isn't.
Otherwise, my fragile Ego takes the wheel and interprets the situation in its favor.

The Ego is just a part of me, like my subconscious or body.

So, who am I then?

I am the Curiosity that watches Alexander lose and win, lose and win...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Gift of Gratitude / May 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

No matter how hard we try, we can't escape ourselves. This means that in any situation and with different people, we will recreate the world order that is typical for us.

A simpleton will always partner with someone who tricks him. A scattered creator will start a great business, only to destroy it himself. A rescuer will find those who supposedly can't survive without him.

To escape this trap, we need to be grateful for what we have now.

How? What does gratitude have to do with it? I don't like what I have!

If we always end up in the same place, no matter where we go, it's time to stop fussing. There is no external solution, and there never will be.

The point of applying effort is not the paper, the typewriter, or the printing press, but the one who keeps typing the same narrative.

He acts like a mechanical doll, a droid, or a CNC machine. But we suspect that inside the steel shell, there is an Author.

Alas, force won't help the Author. The secret is that the key to his prison is hidden in his pocket. He longs for freedom just as much as he fears it. Thus, he is both Prisoner and Guard to himself.

This struggle will continue until the Author admits, "There is some meaning in my situation being what it is." And so, instead of a torturous problem, he now has an intriguing task.

Did you notice how a curse turned into a gift?

Gratitude helped accept the idea that everything is indeed for the Author's benefit.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Sober Gaze / May 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Drunk people don’t like having a sober person at the table.

One reason is that they sense their own vulnerability. Alcohol dissolves cultural inhibitions. People start saying and doing things they usually can't but always desperately want to.

It's like an Austrian sauna—strip naked or leave.

The sober person sees them as they really are, while his essence remains a mystery to them. No wonder this asymmetry makes the drinkers uneasy, scared, and angry.

But the same phenomenon happens every day without alcohol.

Ideology, dogma, or a victim mindset acts as the intoxicant. These give people an “indulgence” that frees them from punishment for breaking cultural norms. Now, they can do anything.

The only thing that ruins their “party” is the sober person. Even if he just watches silently. His attentive gaze is a reminder that unbridled behavior is not normal.

A dilemma arises: to eliminate the burning gaze or sober up.

This is why “witch hunts,” or the persecution of dissenters and the unwanted, aren't just a medieval phenomenon. Human nature remains unchanged, whether in the age of stone axes or the age of AI.

It sounds grim, but there is good news. If you value sobriety, know that you’re not alone. You will find That gaze everywhere if you look. Remember: there is sun, even when it's night all around.

Note that any intoxicant can be beneficial if it's not used for escape or entertainment. Some cultures have healed PTSD, depression, and addictions for thousands of years with psilocybin, cannabinoids, and DMT.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.