Frustrating Learning Dynamics / May 22, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

99 out of 100 problems I create for myself. You probably do too.

In the past, I was ignorant and simply suffered when something bad happened to me. Now, I can't help but see the cause-and-effect relationship. Unfortunately, the convenient option of shifting responsibility onto others or fate has disappeared forever. In moments of weakness I long to return to the darkness of ignorance, for seeing and not preventing is far worse.

Strangely enough, my experience in jiu-jitsu comforts me, where I've felt the same way many times. Imagine being forced to surrender because you found yourself in a dead end, even though nothing seemed to foreshadow it. The strange situation must repeat itself multiple times to completely annoy you and push you to search for a solution. You eagerly scan YouTube and ask questions to anyone, trying to then apply contradictory advice into practice.

There's no result for a long time, but one day you notice that you resisted a bit longer. Then a hunch turns into insight: "Ah, that's where my main mistake was!" But it's too early to rejoice because knowledge and skill are separated by a chasm. You continue to lose and curse, now aware of where and when you messed up. And only after dozens, or even hundreds, of "lessons," you achieve mastery when you sense danger from a mile away and sidestep it.

One can hope that in a similar way, we learn in business and life in general. The intermediate stage of discouragement is inevitable when innocence is lost but maturity hasn't yet been earned. The only option left is to learn faster. How? Maintain curiosity, make as many iterations as possible, and extract meaning from each one.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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It's All About Perspective / May 21, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

What's that moving in the grass? A dog in a poncho? Or drunk?"

While the bright red object made peculiar movements, my mind frantically searched for a suitable template to explain it.

It turned out to be a forgotten heart-shaped balloon: "Ah, I see." The anomaly seamlessly fit into the familiar world. A small example, but encounters with Novelty happen just like that.

A new event can evoke surprise or shock depending on its weirdness, suddenness, and magnitude. The phenomenon will burn a person from within until he (or she) find a way to "tame the fire." Any "wild" object must be captured, studied, and understood. Otherwise, danger will lurk everywhere.

But sometimes an event is so absurdly extraordinary that there are no analogues in our knowledge base. The organism may fall into a state of anabiosis, transforming into one big question. And until an answer is found, it is impossible to live and act fully. The individual becomes a pale reflection of himself, leaving family and friends bewildered, while the business merely drifts by inertia.

Then there are three options. The first one: the unbearable burden can trigger a self-destructive spiral leading downwards. The second: unable to solve the problem, the organism encapsulates it in a bubble. It brings discomfort, but with bandages and painkillers, functioning is possible. The third: finding an alternative perspective (theory, paradigm) that will explain the disorienting phenomenon in a way that restores confidence and peace to your mind.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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How to Maintain Focus? / May 20, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Why do business opportunities get lost and profits decline?

There are many reasons, but the loss of focus in a company is one of the main ones. The problem is that focus cannot be set once and forgotten. It's even more challenging than shooting a bow while riding at full gallop.
Not only does the horse move and the context change, but the very goal requires regular reassessment.

Performance-oriented founders often realize too late how the surrounding environment has changed, aging all their well-established systems. Innovative-minded founders come across too many promising ideas, but they no longer have the resources to implement them.

Entrepreneurs need to schizophrenically split their minds in order to simultaneously hold conflicting stimuli within themselves. Being simultaneously firm and flexible, evolutionary and revolutionary, isolated and open is undoubtedly very difficult. Add to this the psychoemotional dynamics within the individual, and it's no wonder that companies often veer off the road or remain stuck in one place.

To maintain focus amidst this chaos, a person needs a third eye. We're not talking about mystical enlightenment to observe quarks and chakras, but about self-transcendence, which means going beyond the bounds of habitual thinking that keeps us trapped in the web of inertia and misbeliefs.

The most practical way is to outsource the perspective of the Other. Join the community of entrepreneurs, work with a psychotherapist, and/or create an advisory board. If this Other is mature, professional, and honest, you will find a reflection of your micro-world in their eyes not as your subconscious desires it to be, but as it really is. That's when it becomes easy to maintain focus on the goal, as if you were born in the saddle.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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The Mechanism of Successful Partnership - Part II / May 19, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

To analyze partnership, the metaphor of a ratchet mechanism is essential (read part I here).

The ratchet consists of two parts, each performing different functions: Development and Stabilization. Without a wheel, there would be no forward movement. And without a pawl, the wheel would spin chaotically from side to side. Together, they enable the ratchet to move exclusively forward.

Development makes no sense without Stabilization. But the reverse is also true - when the speed of movement slows down, fixation of achievements becomes absurd. By adhering to the ratchet's global goal, they simultaneously reveal their true purpose.

It's not mechanisms that make businesses, but living individuals who often forget why they came together. As a result, the local goals of one partner start dominating over the business's global goals. It's easy to imagine what would happen to the ratchet if the pawl starts hating the endless commotion of the wheel and tries to get rid of it. Or conversely, if the wheel starts getting annoyed that someone is restricting its freedom.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens in reality. As a CEO, co-founder, investor, and now a business therapist, I've witnessed and experienced countless partnerships, both successful and failed. Often, the reason lies in one partner's illusion that the achieved business results are solely due to the function they passionately serve. They believe that their partner is holding them back from realizing their potential and that of the business.

The problem is that from the local position of an individual element in the system, it appears to be true. The pawl indeed restricts the wheel's degrees of freedom. In turn, the wheel constantly jerks the pawl, denying it the desired rest. Both elements should create tension in each other since they inherently gravitate toward different things. That's why the other partner can be perceived as a hindrance or a threat. This is inevitable, and therefore, normal. The mistake occurs when the analysis stops at this point.

Fortunately, humans are not cast-iron components and can rise above the local context. Conflict begins to dissipate like fog when a partner remembers their meta-goal - to maximize the business's value and fulfill the company's mission. If you truly want to achieve the global goal, it is much easier to accept the necessity of forming an alliance with someone so different from yourself.

Moreover, by regularly meditating on the business as a whole, you will gradually begin to feel grateful that fate has brought you together with a partner who complements you so well. The other partner allows you to focus on what brings you meaning and joy. You just need to negotiate the rules of the game carefully from the very beginning and regularly revise them as the context changes. We'll discuss how to do it right sometime in the future.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Learning From Nature / May 19, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

In this photo, ten feet behind the moose, a mountain lion is lurking.

However, neither the moose nor the informed observer can see it.

The predator does everything to reduce the chances of prey to zero.

He craves not an epic battle but a swift victory without effort. Why?

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." (Mike Tyson)

Every fight is chaos where Chance reigns supreme.

Despite the might of fangs and claws, the predator's resources are limited.

A serious injury can make this hunt the lion's last.

And a fortunate opportunity may arise again only in a month.

Therefore, the lion's ideal is a sudden and devastating attack.

The best founders intuitively follow the laws of the wild.

They systematically create conditions where their victory is inevitable.

Once the groundwork is laid, winning becomes a tad boring.

The ripe fruit falls into the founder's hand with a light touch.

Can the same be said about your business?

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

P.S. SPOILER: Bottom right-hand side of the photo, just behind the big boulder.

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What did King Solomon not know? / May 18, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Solving our own conflicts is exponentially more challenging than resolving others'.

An intriguing scientific study explains why that's the case.

The asymmetry in applying wisdom towards others versus ourselves is known as the Solomon Paradox.

The king gained fame by resolving his subjects' most complex conflicts, yet ultimately destroyed his dynasty due to his extravagance and greed.

It turns out that everything lies in self-transcendence and positive affect, without the mediation of which wisdom becomes difficult to manifest.

Self-transcendence is the ability to go beyond our own selves, while positive affect is a state of energy, engagement and focus.

In personal conflicts, we feel threatened, hindering our capacity for transcendent mindset. A bee gets caught in the web.

However, when I contemplate a client's dilemma, I completely forget about myself. There is no fear or doubt, only the eagerness to find a solution as quickly as possible.

The ideal is when the founder and I soar together over a problem. Our minds, like two eagles, embark on a hunt for the desired prey.

But if self-transcendence is so crucial, how can we attain it?

There are numerous practices—from meditation to serving a higher purpose—that can facilitate it.

But if things get tough, I seek the advice of a mature person who is kind to me.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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From Chaos to Expertise / May 17, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

The more tangled the problem, the more paradoxical simplicity is needed.

In the midst of total chaos, solutions like "E2-E4" work best.

The mind simply can't adapt a complex tool to rapid changes.

That's why, in that moment, the primal amygdala takes control.

The alternative is when the algorithmic sword becomes an extension of the hand, paraphrasing the words of the samurai Musashi.

Even Bruce Lee feared the one who practiced a single kick 10,000 times.

In other words, the valuable pattern is dissolved within the neural system.

But where did it come from in the first place?

The ideal is a multitude of iterations to crystallize simplicity.

In other words, one must endure, suffer, and give birth to such a pattern.

However, not everyone is ready to focus on one thing again and again.

That's why it's so important to find, understand, and develop your superpower.

After all, it's easier to do what you can't help but do.

That's how a person (or a company) becomes an Expert.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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The Wise Polish Proverb / May 16, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Never attempt to cure what you don't understand.

A Polish proverb captures the essence of a typical leadership mistake.

It sounds illogical, but it often happens in business. Why?

Firstly, the itch of a problem pushes for urgently doing something, anything.

Diagnosis is perceived as a delay, turning torment into torture.

Secondly, instead of searching for the root of the problem, its symptom is taken.

You know, the temptation of a "small victorious war" is too great.

Thirdly, inertia traps a new problem into a familiar pattern.

A black swan is perceived as a large laying chicken.

The leader "cures" quickly, expensively, and efficiently... but not the right thing.

Activity, expenses, and fatigue are present, yet recovery is absent.

The wise leader can distinguish between the ordinary and the novel.

The former provides stability, the latter either complete failure or exponential growth.

A true leader is ready to admit in such a moment, "I don't know."

Humility opens the mind to new ideas.

Thus, from a rural healer, the leader transforms into an R&D lab.

Such a company will heal itself and present the market with an antibiotic.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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From Vulnerable to Victorious / May 15, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Vulnerability makes a person indecisive and overly cautious.

The goal is no longer to win the competition, but to avoid defeat.

I realized this today when I protected my injured knee in a jiju-jitsu fight.

I would start to attack my opponent and then stop myself: "I can't do that!

Similar fear often restricts the actions of business founders.

Like a hole in the bottom, vulnerability hinders venturing into the open ocean.

Which significantly reduces the chances of returning home with a bountiful catch.

The level of reward in the market is proportional to the level of risk taken.

Only 100% "healthy" companies act decisively in chaos.

Fortunately, unlike the physical body, the corporate "body" is easier to heal.

After all, the vulnerability of a business lies in the founder/CEO's mental barriers.

To overcome your false assumptions is to set your business free.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Who Should Be Watered? / May 14, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I am best at helping those who would succeed even without me.

Sounds like a paradox, but judge for yourself.

It's useless to train an athlete who has given up the fight.

The gardener wastes water by watering a tree that hasn't taken root.

No efforts will make a poodle rip the throat of a thug.

In other words, you should only water what grows on its own.

Example: hydrogen peroxide H202 under the influence of daylight.

Hydrogen peroxide slowly decomposes into water and atomic oxygen.

But add potassium permanganate KMnO4, and the peroxide literally "boils."

The process was happening naturally, but the catalyst dramatically accelerated it.

The founders will embody their vision because that's their essence.

Like a catalyst, my role is modest—to reduce their time by X times.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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The Essence of Serial Entrepreneurship / May 13, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Creators know that when an idea comes to them, they must write it down asap.

Otherwise, without finding you home, it will get annoyed and vanish forever.

An entrepreneur is in a hurry, just like a writer or a poet.

Once he (or she) finds a promising idea, it becomes his number one priority.

Until the potential of the idea is realized, the founder can't find peace.

Just like molten glass, an idea needs to be shaped in time.

Both competitors and the dynamic context pose a danger.

Entrepreneurs' nightmare: "I could have done it, but I didn't, or too late".

This strange obsession is hard for others to comprehend.

But imagine a salmon arriving upriver too late to spawn.

A system that fails to fulfill its purpose loses all meaning.

Thus, the phenomenon of serial entrepreneurship becomes clear.

Once you've reached the peak of meaning, it would be a sin not to climb again.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Step By Step / May 12, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Why do we take so long to find the right answer for some problems?

Firstly, it's because the problem somehow exists, but simultaneously it doesn't.

The implicit hasn't yet become explicit.

So capturing the chaos in the web of meaning is the first step. What is indicator?

An accurate problem formulation brings relief in itself.

Furthermore, clarification can unpredictably change the problem.

If that's the case, then why is this step taken carelessly and hastily?

The pain, itching and burning of the negative symptoms are unbearable.

The pause prolongs the torture, and we want to take action, anything at all.

Thus, resources are wasted, as watering stones makes no sense.

Only a few individuals can stitch themselves up (but what about on their back?).

The rest need a professional, for whom the job is more important than emotions.

An expert won't lift a finger until the target is in the crosshairs.

Such confidence infects everyone: "No need for haste. Let's act step by step."

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Breaking the Vicious Cycle / May 11, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

In TRIZ*, there is a rule that has long shocked me with its simplicity.

It goes like this:

First, you need to try to eliminate the source of evil.

And only then, if that didn’t work, start fighting the evil itself.

Look around - people too often act the opposite way.

Like lions, they fiercely attack what they consider evil.

Huge resources are essentially wasted on fighting the symptom.

The untouched source of evil produces another symptom, a third one, and so on.

And only after squandering everything, at an impasse, do people begin to seek the root cause.

What sets apart those few who, as a first step, search for the root of evil?

There are two options:

They got tired of repeating the cycle of a meaningless struggle once again.

Or they encountered someone who had been there themselves and observed many others.

When collective experience is woven into a pattern, the personal decision becomes obvious.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

*TRIZ is the theory of inventive problem-solving.

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Unleashing the Untapped / May 10, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

I'm watching the drama "Sanctuary" about the inner workings of Japanese sumo.

The series is strange and brutal, yet captivating and beautiful.

The story of a young wrestler illustrates the journey of many of us.

Enno unquestionably has a gift for sumo, but he doesn't embrace it immediately.

Fate has to test, break, and inspire him somewhere along the way.

In other words, without external catalysts, his development stagnates.

We often tend to overlook or not notice our own gifts.

After all, society worships sweat and tears, while undervaluing what comes easily.

Mistakes are similar to how businesses calculate their costs:

"My product is expensive because I didn't sleep many nights and invested $XM."

Meanwhile, customers care about exceptional results, not excessive effort.

However, having a gift doesn't eliminate the need for sacrifice.

Michael Phelps, a 23-time Olympic swimmer, worked as hard as everyone else.

But his long arms gave him an advantage, all things being equal.

A gift is a raw material that still needs refinement.

It's a shame that not all of us meet someone who reveals our strengths.

I, for example, only got lucky in this respect in my late forties.

But the thorny journey taught me to see the superpower in others.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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How (not) to get old? / May 9, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Old age is not caused by age itself, but by inner monologue:

‘I am already __ years old. This means it is already too late for me to _____.’”

Ironically, even an 18-year-old model could say this.

Envying teenage models, she feels like an antique.

In contrast, energy is bubbling in someone who forgets to keep track of time.

Such a person is like an oak tree that is busy growing its roots and crown.

Engrossed in these activities, the oak tree can stand for 300 or 1500 years.

The true age of a tree can only be known by cutting down its body.

Those who are worried about their age cut themselves off in their prime.

Negative thoughts, like an axe, shorten one’s health, peace, and strength.

After all, statistics are true for a sample, but they are false for an individual.

One person may burn out at 25, while another can still work at 95.

So avoid those who complain that something or someone is hindering them.

OK, but what then is the elixir of eternal youth?

It’s your Thing - your business, family, sport, ministry, or creative work.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Write Your Own Meta-Book / May 8, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Counting the number of books read in a year is nonsense.

It is commendable only for a child who is just discovering the world.

An adult does not expect to be transformed by the latest bestseller.

And he (or she) does not measure success by the number of talmuds consumed.

Maturity lies in being able to see patterns in life amidst its chaos.

A book is just one of many threads, as the pattern is manifested in everything.

Insights are available during illness, meditation, or conflict.

The same pattern is visible through business, dog training and sports.

Lock him in a cage and he will be exploring the laws of ant movement.

Over time, all observations should come together into one Meta-Book.

But a mature person does not buy this existential book, he writes it himself.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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The Secret for Wow-worthy Conversations / May 7, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

Do you want your conversation partner to exclaim “Wow!” after your talk?

Give me 60 seconds, and I’ll share a secret from psychotherapy.

In everyday conversations, we ask each other questions.

And tend to accept the answer our interlocutor gave us.

Politeness assumes that people say what they mean.

A psychotherapist, however, never takes things at face value.

A professional will always gently but persistently dig deeper.

After you say, “I think that __,” the therapist will encourage you with, “…and?”

And every time, it turns out that the words implied something more.

At the seminars of philosopher and psychologist Eugene Gendlin, I understood why.

I understood why at the seminars of the philosopher/psychologist Eugene Gendlin.

Everything that is evident (symbols, concepts) exists implicitly.

The presumed meaning is always richer and more complex than any form.

Words are merely a finger pointing at the moon.

Thus, the session turns into an expedition to search for treasures at the bottom.

Interestingly, clients find relief from the process itself.

They finally manage to express precisely what has long been brewing inside.

However, the secret is not just to clarify with “…and?” every time.

You need to sincerely want to understand the client and accept any answer.

The ability to listen in this way is surprisingly rare these days.

Perhaps that’s why the experience of being genuinely understood is so precious.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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From Boredom to Breakthrough / May 6, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

To change, one must exhaust oneself brutally.

When the circle of suffering turns N+1 times, boredom sets in.

It becomes clear what will happen next and what the outcome will be.

Becoming aware of meaninglessness helps to break the vicious circle.

Otherwise, it will continue, as the cycle exists not by chance.

Despite hardships and deprivations, the participant in the drama secretly enjoys it.

The pleasure is so subtle that it’s hard to notice without psychoanalysis.

Thus the 'curse' is passed from parent to child for generations.

Stopping it (or at least weakening it) is everyone's job.

The curse formula: “It’s above me. I just can’t help but _____.”

The man is no longer his own master, he is enslaved to anger, fear, control, etc.

Watching the same show over and over again is boring to death.

This means: The necessary conditions for change have matured.

Inside, the person has already become different.

It is only a matter of time before these changes manifest themselves externally.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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The Power of Sacrifice / May 5, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

David Burnett, Dean Panaros, platform diving, Florida, 1996.

Blindly trusting your body's desires is not advisable.

Example: I almost never feel like going to the gym.

But 99 times out of 100, I'm very happy with myself when I finish.

With clarity in your mind and exhaustion in your body, work and creation are easy.

Plus, tired muscles + a cold shower = the best feeling of the day.

Like an eraser, exercise rubs away anxiety, depression and lack of sleep.

The states before and after are so different, it's like two different people.

It turns out, the old me must make sacrifices for the future me.

But every time it feels like a risky investment, a leap of faith.

If the return is so high, then the goal is to minimize the investment.

How? First, if you find a favourite sport, or better yet, two or three.

Secondly, if daily workouts have become a habit.

Finally, if the act of sacrifice itself gives you satisfaction and meaning.

This is the highest level because you become an unstoppable force.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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Nature's Truth / May 4, 2023 by Alexander Lyadov

What motivates a man who teases a female bear and her cubs with food?

What does the woman think when choosing an elk for a selfie partner?

When you finish reading it and find out what it means, you will be surprised.

The power of humans lies in their ability to create new worlds.

Myths, rituals, ideologies, games, corporations, and social networks.

Yet, this ability also creates a dangerous vulnerability.

Living in a man-made world, people forget about the real world.

Worse still, they try to bend reality to their fantasies.

Sooner or later, this ends in trauma or catastrophe.

Animals, carriers of the Laws of Nature, show humans their place.

And in a moment, precious illusions of man crumble to pieces.

Objective reality can no longer be ignored.

This is an act of symbolic castration, as a psychoanalyst would put it.

A kind of healing cauterization of an inflated pride.

The beasts, the elements and gravity perform the function of the therapist.

So how can we protect ourselves or avoid shocks and misfortune?

We need to consciously and voluntarily seek to re-engage with Reality.

For example, look for those who tell you the truth kindly but firmly.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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