Solving our own conflicts is exponentially more challenging than resolving others'.
An intriguing scientific study explains why that's the case.
The asymmetry in applying wisdom towards others versus ourselves is known as the Solomon Paradox.
The king gained fame by resolving his subjects' most complex conflicts, yet ultimately destroyed his dynasty due to his extravagance and greed.
It turns out that everything lies in self-transcendence and positive affect, without the mediation of which wisdom becomes difficult to manifest.
Self-transcendence is the ability to go beyond our own selves, while positive affect is a state of energy, engagement and focus.
In personal conflicts, we feel threatened, hindering our capacity for transcendent mindset. A bee gets caught in the web.
However, when I contemplate a client's dilemma, I completely forget about myself. There is no fear or doubt, only the eagerness to find a solution as quickly as possible.
The ideal is when the founder and I soar together over a problem. Our minds, like two eagles, embark on a hunt for the desired prey.
But if self-transcendence is so crucial, how can we attain it?
There are numerous practices—from meditation to serving a higher purpose—that can facilitate it.
But if things get tough, I seek the advice of a mature person who is kind to me.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
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”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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