Living Light /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown photographer

During my travels, stained glass windows in churches always intrigued me.

It wasn't the depth of the stories, the craftsmanship, or the brilliance of the colors.

Paintings and statues need your imagination to come alive.

Stained glass is always alive — light passes through it from the other side.

Sunlight moves unpredictably, playing and dancing like children.

It feels as though the familiar world has turned itself inside out.

Now you are standing outside, looking through a window into the vibrant life within.

The stained glass has become a Portal through which you can glimpse the Source.

You are here. It is there.

But through the colored rays, you are in contact with It.

Who is It? What is this Source? What light are we talking about?

It's a metaphor for your own personality.

The Source — the deep center of the personality, the Self.
The Light — vitality, libido, Eros, the very energy of life.
The stained glass — dreams as messages from the Self to the Ego.
The temple — all your structures: body, mind, and psyche.

Everything is in its proper place. Everything has its function.

All that remains is not to turn away, but to look up and recognize this Beauty.

All that's needed is not to look away, but to lift your eyes and take in this Beauty.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Quietly Waiting /  by Alexander Lyadov

You're watching a colleague, a relative, or a friend.

He keeps stumbling over the same thing and complaining about it out loud.

He goes in circles. Misses opportunities. Fails to see the risk.

Your first impulse is to share your perspective.

Stop. Last time you did, he pushed back hard.

He brushed it off. Took offense. Dismissed it.

Does he actually enjoy stumbling? Why does he do this?

For now, he is not ready to receive anything from you, or from anyone else.

So what can you do?

You can pray for him. But you cannot force yourself on him.

Assuming, of course, that he is an adult, not a child.

Out of respect for his freedom to choose, you stay nearby and wait in silence.

While he keeps bumping his head and cursing his unfair fate.

And if you truly care about him, it will not be easy.

Accepting your own powerlessness to change anything.

Trusting his ability to change on his own.

Maybe one day he'll say: "You know, I should have listened to you back then."

You'll answer: "No. It was right. It's your life, not mine."

And both of you will realize that you had been there all along. Just as now.

Now for a plot twist.

He is me. Or you. Or all of us.

The one who isn't yet ready to take in another's perspective.

The one who protects his Ego, unable to tolerate the "wrong kind" of novelty.

The one who keeps stepping on the same rake and missing unique opportunities.

Meanwhile, the one who loves me quietly waits until I am ready.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

I Am Here /  by Alexander Lyadov

I made my first bungee jump almost 30 years ago.

Yet I am still drawing insights from that experience.

For example, while falling, I was surprised to notice my clenched fists.

It was useless and absurd — but I kept grabbing at the air.

Only at the end, near the ground, was I able to open my hands.

That happened when I realized I was not going to die this time.

Only then did fear turn into euphoria.

Apparently, even Emptiness in your hands is better than Nothing at all.

The very act of grasping, however slightly, still calmed me down.

During my first parachute jump, a procedure served the same purpose.

The moment I stepped out of the plane, I became preoccupied with the checklist: “Did the canopy open? Are the lines twisted? Did I disable the reserve chute?”

By the time I'd worked through every step, I was completely calm.

Looking around, I realized I was suspended between earth and heaven.

In that moment, the whole world was divinely beautiful.

With fear gone, exhilaration filled my vessel to the brim.

What is the takeaway?

When we encounter the Unknown, fear is natural and inevitable.

Fear can become absolute, and then you are finished. You disappear.

Anything that helps you feel "I exist" will do.

I am the One Who Does something, anything: notices, acts, feels.

I am here, even when Chaos is all around me.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Together... Where? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Long ago, I came across ​Friedrich Glasl's conflict model​ and fell in love with it.

It describes nine vivid stages in the breakdown of human relationships.

It's worth thinking about the two extremes — the first stage and the last.

The end comes when one side wants to destroy the other, even at the cost of destroying itself.

"Together into the Abyss" is the final turn of the downward spiral.

Now look at how fruitfully it all begins.

"Tension" certainly brings confusion, irritation, and discomfort.

But it is also the necessary condition for creative synthesis. Any sculptor, composer, or screenwriter will tell you the same.

Everything genuinely new is born in heat and tension. An electrician would say that without a difference in potential, no electric current flows.

Uniformity and sameness cannot produce anything. There has to be some difference. And the greatest creative potential lies in opposites.

So, Glasl's nine stages of conflict tell only half the story. There is another half that remains hidden from view.

A physicist might say that "Tension" resembles a bifurcation point.

The system can collapse downward... or soar upward.

Then the opposing forces stop fighting and start collaborating

The final stage of their co-creation is called "Together into Paradise."

Down or up — the choice is yours.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Build the Vessel /  by Alexander Lyadov

If I don't have something, perhaps it's because I'm not yet ready to receive it.

That thought came to me while reflecting on archetypes.

Do you remember those moments when everything feels possible? Your energy overflows, your body is filled with joyful boldness, and your mind with fresh ideas.

Like a paraglider caught in a thermal — a rising column of warm air.

For a while, you feel unstoppable and invincible. Things seem to fall into place on their own... until something suddenly goes wrong.

At best, luck turns against you and your plans fall apart. At worst, the paraglider collapses and plunges from a great height.

One incident is easy to dismiss as bad luck. But what if the same ridiculous pattern keeps repeating itself? Am I cursed or something?

What would you say if water spilled because you poured too much into a vessel?

A few of my own guesses — add yours:

"I was too generous, misjudged the volume, and poured too much."

"I was impatient and rushed. My movements were too abrupt."

"I didn't know the vessel had a crack. I'll need to seal it."

The problem is not the water. It is your judgment, your coordination, or the vessel itself.

Now replace the vessel with your personality, and the water with life force.

Inside each of us is an inexhaustible reserve of psychic energy. Access opens through contact with archetypes. But there are two difficulties: the first is making the connection; the second is not letting it flood you.

Without this energy, stagnation, despondency, and depression await. The work is to methodically build up the walls of the personality "vessel" — to hold a greater volume.

Of what?

The force to live, to love, and to create.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Remember the Creator /  by Alexander Lyadov

Once the "machine" is running, it's easy to forget who built it.

It can be anything: a concept, a business, a system, a mechanism.

Every process is tuned. Every error is catalogued. Each area has its specialist. Breakdowns have repair algorithms. The executive has both a daily plan and a five-year plan.

The current state of affairs feels real, reliable, fundamental. As if it always was, is, and always will be.

Faded memories of the early days get a chuckle:

“When I arrived, this place was a mess,” says the CEO. “Everything was held together with duct tape and enthusiasm. We had to change almost everything.”

But let that same CEO build something from scratch. Something where the grimy little "machine," creaking and smoking, somehow manages to move on its own.

Easier said than done.

Only 20–25% of new corporate ventures become viable and scalable [1, 2]. Even buying successful, growing companies doesn't help — 60 to 90% of major M&A deals fail to deliver the results CEOs promised their boards [3, 4].

Creating something new and improving something that already exists aren't different skills — they're fundamentally different ways of perceiving the world and oneself. Compare a spacewalk to a bungee jump.

Ironically, most founders appreciate the value a professional manager brings. But few managers appreciate the entrepreneurial contribution. The chaos of the early stage is mistaken for naivety and simplicity.

A good way to humble your ego is to spend a little time creating something yourself. Paint a dream that deeply moved you. Sculpt from clay a symbol of what torments or inspires you. Write a short story, a melody, or an essay.

The hierarchy becomes obvious:

The Creator comes first. The creation comes second.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

References

  1. McKinsey & Company. Derisking corporate business launches: Five steps to overcome the most common pitfalls (2020).

  2. McKinsey & Company. Why business building is the new priority for growth (2020).

  3. Harvard Business Review. The New M&A Playbook (2011).

  4. Harvard Business Review. A Better Approach to Mergers and Acquisitions (2024).

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Chaos University /  by Alexander Lyadov

Stanley Hall, 1954

I have a folder called “Survival” where I save videos of encounters with Chaos:

First and foremost, this is the world's best university — and it's free.

I enrolled while learning to ride a motorcycle. A couple of close calls convinced me there had to be a better way to gain experience. It turned out YouTube was full of first-person crash videos.

Watching it was unpleasant, of course. But afterward, on the road, my body would send a signal in advance: "Hey, this looks like that video. Get out of the way." Thanks to other people's experience, my situational awareness quietly grew.

Getting acquainted with Chaos was too valuable to limit to motorcycles — it has countless faces. The unknown lies in wait everywhere, especially where we least expect it.

Useful as it is, the further I go, the more Chaos fascinates me. It becomes clear just how colossal the forces are that hunger for contact with us — in nature, in animals, in society, in other people, and most of all in ourselves.

You can naively ignore them, then react with resentment and outrage. Or you can study them patiently and even choose to enter into a conscious relationship with them.

Chaos evokes what the German theologian and religious scholar Rudolf Otto described as:

“A mystery that is at once terrifying and fascinating.”

(Mysterium tremendum et fascinans)

Dial the risk down to an acceptable level, and this mystery becomes worth exploring.

Sincerely yours,

-AlexanderSincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Click /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

When I started this newsletter six years ago, I made a deal with myself:

Always write only about what genuinely grips me.

Which means doing everything I can not to write about everything else. That is, about the billion phenomena, events, and things I "should" write about — what's popular, sensible, correct, safe, profitable, and so on.

In practice, this means waiting for the "click" — half an hour, an hour, sometimes two. All that time I'm in serious discomfort, digging through a pile of thoughts, images, dreams, and quotes, muttering over and over:

“No. Not it. Wrong. Hmm… yes, that’s good, but no… it doesn’t grab me.”

The Critic in my head chimes in:

"This is so stupid. All this effort for nothing. Just make a content plan and crank it out. Write what's guaranteed to hook everyone."

I can’t. Or rather, I don’t want to. I’ve already had enough of that. “Make the client happy.” Ads, promotions, marketing. "The client is always right."

My "target audience" now is an unknown part of myself. Or more accurately, I am a part of it. Jung called the Self the deep center that unites consciousness and the unconscious.

We work in tandem — I search and write, and the Self accepts or rejects.

That might sound selfish, if not for one thing.

Jung believed the psyche of the individual is rooted in the archetypal structures of the collective unconscious. Eliade wrote about a single pattern of Being that manifests in the Cosmos, in society, and in the individual.

We are like individual mushrooms connected underground by one mycelium.

That explains why my essays sometimes resonate with you. When I do my job well, I touch a point of authenticity we share.

It's worth trying again and again for that — don't you think?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Another World Nearby /  by Alexander Lyadov

It's a shame that people today so rarely see a starlit sky.

Many of our problems would simply vanish on their own.

Direct contact with infinity restores our bearings.

Cynicism, scientism, and egocentrism lose their grip.

We feel with our whole being what words cannot describe.

A storm, a hurricane, or a volcano can produce the same kind of “reload.” But if your eye is trained, so can the life of clouds or even an anthill.

It all comes down to your ability to see another world.

The one that always was, is, and will be, Following an unknown plan, rhythm, and purpose, Constantly changing — or standing perfectly still.

We have a choice: reduce this experience to a template. Or take off the protective glasses and let it change us, even just a little.

If that happens, the hole inside closes. The emptiness dissolves. In place of the usual doubts, disappointments, and anxieties — abundance, harmony, and peace.

That is why people say:

People say it afterward: "The desert heals." Or the ocean. Or the mountains.

But these medicines are within reach right now.

Just stretch out your hand and take them.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Hard Eye /  by Alexander Lyadov

My Australian Cattle Dog (blue heeler)

My dog has a habit that could drive anyone crazy.

He often fixes me with an intense stare. He doesn't bark. He doesn't whine. He doesn't blink. He simply drills straight through me.

Sadly, it took me ten years of living together to discover his "secret."

It is not aggression or just a personality trait. It is a ​working tool​. As a herding breed, the Australian Cattle Dog uses it to control cattle and sheep by locking onto them with his gaze and making them turn where he wants them to go.

The breed descends from the wild dingo, which gave it that cold, unblinking, predatory stare. If the stare is not enough for a stubborn bull, the dog fearlessly nips him on the heel.

Most of the time, however, the stare alone is enough. It is impossible to ignore. Even a powerful bull finds it easier to do what the dog wants. The predator's gaze turns him into prey.

Unlike the dingo, however, the Australian Cattle Dog has a shepherd. He does not hunt for himself. He carries out a higher command. That is why he constantly checks in with his eyes, as if asking:

"Boss, what do you need me to do now?"

I cannot help wondering whether I should learn something from my dog.

After all, the quality of your attention determines everything in life:

  • noticing anomalies,

  • building relationships,

  • revealing what is implicit,

  • reading the meaning of symbols,

  • freeing yourself from illusions,

  • becoming a different person,

  • and whether uncertainty turns against you or works in your favor.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Look Past It /  by Alexander Lyadov

Moto Gymkhana Competition, October 5, 2014

When my motorcycle instructor had me weave around cones, he said:

"Don't look at the obstacle — look past it."

Hmm. That sounds strange. I'd rather look directly at whatever is in my way. That's how I choose the safest, easiest, and most efficient path.

That is the logic of the Mind. It is convincing as long as it stays in your head, in ideal conditions, without stress or time pressure.

In the physical world, though, the motorcycle drives straight into the first cone. The cone pulls it in like a magnet pulls metal. The chain reaction goes like this:

Eyes → Body → Bike.

You have no choice but to trust the instructor. His advice sounds absurd. “Ride without looking at the obstacle?” Isn’t that a recipe for a crash?

The first attempt delivers the insight — the body already knows what to do and how.

Focusing your gaze past the cone sets the vector of your goal. Peripheral vision reads the full context. While the mind stumbles, the body steers the horse.

All you had to do was not let the obstacle become the destination.

If an obstacle is paralyzing you right now, direct your gaze beyond it.

Keep your eyes on the goal you truly want.

Trust your body.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Moon and Finger /  by Alexander Lyadov

In the film Amélie (2001), a boy says to a man standing near a monument:

“Sir, when a finger points at the moon, a fool looks at the finger.”

The line captures one of the biggest problems people face in business and in life.

Imagine the early days of a company. The founder has just launched it. Revenue and profits are growing. Customers cannot contain their excitement. A vague idea has taken concrete form, and its shape is beautiful.

Years go by. Top executives succeed one another at the helm. The company grows into an industry leader and expands internationally.

Everyone tries to study and copy its business model, its methods, and its know-how. Harvard Business School writes glowing case studies about it.

Then something strange happens. In just a few years, this once-solid pillar of stability turns into a ghost. Analysts, investors, and journalists are baffled.

Why?

The company has become the finger that drew everyone’s attention to itself. Or rather, people became fixated on the form and forgot that it was only ever pointing at something beyond itself.

So what is the moon in this metaphor?

The creative act of solving a painful problem for customers.

Not the strategy.
Not the organizational structure.
Not the business model.
Not the team.

The finger was always pointing to someone’s intention:

“It seems nobody cares.”
“But I can’t leave it this way.”
“This is where I can, and want to, set a small part of the Cosmos right.”

Could that company have been saved?

Yes.

If it had regularly turned its gaze to where the boy advises.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Grateful for the Difference /  by Alexander Lyadov

​Iain McGilchrist, a British psychiatrist, philosopher, and neuroscientist, spent many years studying the asymmetry of the human brain. In his words, the difference in functions solved the fundamental problem —

"How to eat without being eaten."

These aren't simply two hemispheres. They are two entirely different ways of perceiving and experiencing the world.

The left hemisphere sees the world as a collection of separate objects that can be analyzed and manipulated logically. It tries to make the environment known, controllable, and predictable. Unfortunately, once it builds a model of reality, it begins to mistake the model for reality itself.

The right hemisphere perceives the world in its wholeness, ambiguity, and implicitness. It remains open to novelty and tries to stay connected with what always remains Unknown. The right hemisphere can make mistakes in its perception of a situation as well.

What matters is this: the left hemisphere is incapable of performing the functions of the right — and doesn't even consider them valuable. The right, on the other hand, can sometimes step in and perform the functions of the left, and recognizes the value of its contribution.

This helped me understand a strange pattern I had seen in business partnerships, when conflict emerges between two partners who, broadly speaking, rely primarily on left- and right-hemisphere ways of engaging with the world. I've watched it play out in others. I've lived it myself.

Once, my business partner said to me, “I'm the logical one, and you're the intuitive one.” At the time, I could never understand why he failed to notice or value my contribution, while I noticed and valued his.

As a result, our partnership kept stumbling. We made costly mistakes that I often sensed in advance but couldn't prove to him in iron-clad terms. After all, they were just my “vague feelings,” “paranoid fantasies,” and “unclear hunches.”

Many years later, we met again, and my former partner was genuinely curious about the way I perceive the world. Experience had taught him that one person's advantage lies in the other person's difference.

Differences between partners are essential for stable, rapid business growth. But everything depends on maturity.

Want a simple indicator?

Ask whether each partner is genuinely grateful that fate brought him someone who is nothing like him.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

The Cornerstone /  by Alexander Lyadov

It's commonly assumed that madness means losing one's reason — the coherence of thought, logic, the ability to reason clearly.

In reality, the opposite is often true.

Don’t believe me? Talk to a schizophrenic.

He will describe a flawless system where every element fits perfectly and every cause-and-effect relationship seems rock solid.

Yet something inside you will begin to whisper, “Hmm… something isn’t right.” The impression that there's a crack in the foundation — but it's buried deep.

Take this: it doesn't matter how skilled the doctor is, how powerful the latest drugs are, or how sophisticated the equipment — if the patient has no will to live.

Or the world's greatest dog trainer can use every trick in the book — and it will all amount to nothing — if a Chihuahua was chosen to herd the flock instead of an Alabai.

Likewise, reconciling partners or spouses is impossible if their conflict has already reached the ninth stage on Friedrich Glasl's scale: "Together into the abyss."

There is always something unique that makes everything else possible.

The cornerstone — the sacred stone that in ancient times was laid first in the foundation of a building. The point of reference. The origin of coordinates.

It is the point where Reality and human action meet. Get this wrong, and the effort, the blueprints, the materials, and the number of floors become meaningless.

After all, the fundamental rule of architecture is that a building must fit its context, not the other way around. Think of an expensive, stylish house that sticks out in a city like a bone in your throat.

Local beauty, cut off from its surroundings, becomes ugliness.

In 1908, G. K. Chesterton wrote:

“The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.”

Do you want to preserve your sanity?

Learn to value everything your mind is quick to dismiss.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Baking Dreams /  by Alexander Lyadov

My therapist says my mind works like a blast furnace. Every morning I get tired of writing down insights and dreams. They come out as reliably as baguettes and croissants from a French bakery.

The more I value my dreams, the more productive the furnace becomes.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, the temptation is to fall back asleep. Especially since the dream often feels like complete gibberish. I try to capture at least a few key words. Understanding comes later.

Dreams are like diamonds extracted from the earth or the ocean floor. In raw form they're already worth $2,000–4,000 per carat — and after cutting, $5,000–15,000. The cutting is your interpretation of the dream.

Despite my experience in this area, if I were helping you, I would encourage your own response first — what memories and associations come up, what a particular element means to you personally.

No element of a dream is accidental. Every symbol contains an entire cluster of meanings.

When I shared some of these "treasures" during a group psychotherapy session, it turned out my interpretations were even more interesting than the dreams themselves. That is the effect of cutting the diamond. It reflects far more light.

So what are dreams to you — waste product of the brain, or ancient treasure?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Alone with Implicit /  by Alexander Lyadov

Once something tangible already exists, the greatest uncertainty is gone.

Someone else's behavior can be admired and imitated. A finished product can be reverse-engineered. Even a drawn map is a way out of the labyrinth.

It's a different story when there's no model, no prototype, no template. The need is real, but there's nothing to grab onto. Like falling from a great height.

That is why creating something out of nothing is the hardest thing of all.

The process itself is mysterious, strange, and unpredictable. That unsettles and irritates a lot of people. To protect themselves, they pretend the creative process is unimportant. It exists, yet somehow it does not.

People notice a new phenomenon only when it becomes impossible to ignore. Society's attitude shifts like an avalanche. No. No. No. Then suddenly, yes.

Until that moment, the creator feels like he's losing his mind. No one seems to see what is so obvious to him. When he tries to share his excitement, he's met with hostility, dismissal, and ridicule.

Perhaps patience is what separates an experienced creator from a beginner.

Noticing and valuing what isn't yet visible to others — that's both a gift and a curse.

Which is greater?

That depends on how much the Ego needs other people's recognition.

Blessed is the one who forgets himself and everyone else in the act of creation.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Lord of lords /  by Alexander Lyadov

Do you love robots, systems, and mechanistic thinking in general?

It depends on which way the force is pointing, with you or against you.

It is wonderful when your computer follows the algorithm you gave it. Your GPS takes you exactly where you want to go. AI double-checks your contract.

It is a nightmare when an ATM silently swallows your card in a foreign country. Instead of reaching a real person, you hear the endless: “Your call is very important to us.” Your inbox fills with ridiculous spam.

I will spare you the darker scenarios so I do not ruin your mood.

The same dynamic exists in any partnership where one co-founder might be named “Order” and the other “Creativity.”

Everything works beautifully if Mr. Order directs his power toward the business. You never have to worry about its structure, predictability, or efficiency. They will keep improving relentlessly, in the spirit of kaizen.

But beware if Mr. Order turns his attention toward an individual or a team. He will flatten everyone beneath the steamroller of his “rightness.” The business will become a museum of wax figures: clean, static, and silent.

The most dangerous situation, however, is when these two gentlemen go to war. One side brings relentlessly increasing order. The other unleashes irrational and unpredictable terror.

Who wins?

The competitors.

All they have to do is wait.

Now imagine that the business is you: your mind, your psyche, and your body. Different forces live within you, and they all have the potential to come into conflict.

Will they fight each other?

Or will they cooperate?

The choice is yours.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Love the Seed /  by Alexander Lyadov

A Chinese propaganda poster in the Nianhua style, 1950s-70s

It is easy to love abundance, strength, wisdom, harmony, and prosperity.

These things satisfy hunger, fuel optimism, and bring peace to the soul.

But what if we are talking about something small, weak, foolish, and dirty?

Suddenly, there are far fewer volunteers.

Why?

We want everything, all at once. We don't have the patience to invest in growth and wait.

We ourselves are too weak for that.

Compare a gardener when he's well-fed versus when he's starving.

Given a handful of seeds — who plants them and tends to them, and who eats them on the spot?

The weak cannot tolerate weakness in others. The naive cannot tolerate another person's mistakes. The fragile despise vulnerability in everyone, especially in themselves.

Yet everything great was once small. Everything powerful was once weak. Everything sharp was once dull.

Not only did it take a great deal of time — someone also created the conditions. Growth happened because of love.

Love for what?

For a potential that was invisible to everyone. Except one person.

Sometimes one person is enough.

Sometimes even one word.

Or just a look.

Enough to awaken in the seed the desire to become what it was meant to be.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Befriend the Critic /  by Alexander Lyadov

I am sure you know the voice of your inner Critic well. Its speech is merciless and venomous. He kicks you in the gut and injects poison into your mind.

But who is it, really? What is it actually trying to achieve?

Psychology literature offers different explanations. For psychoanalysis, it's the internalized voice of your parents and society, absorbed in childhood. For Buddhism, it's just a stream of thoughts with no "Self" of its own.

I like psychologist Robert Moore's view best:

“The two Archetypal Self words are more and better. It wants you to do it better, yesterday, perfectly, without effort.”

As a rule, the worse your relationship with a given aspect of the Self (the individual's deep center), the louder and more often that voice drills into your brain. Feeling neglected, it begins to take revenge.

For example, you are convinced that aggression has no place in your empathic nature, while discipline, endurance, and clear boundaries are complete nonsense.

In that case, the archetype splits in two. Sometimes it suddenly takes possession of you. The rest of the time, it criticizes you from the background.

In the first case, others suffer from its bite. In the second, you do.

So what's the way out?

The one thing almost nobody is willing to do: build a relationship with the Other.

Whatever feels the least like you — and is therefore disgusting, terrifying, stupid, or shameful — is exactly what would enrich you most as a person.

Doing this alone is difficult. You need an experienced guide. For me personally, both individual and group psychotherapy have been invaluable.

Just like in pottery: sticky, shapeless clay passes through fire and becomes elegant Chinese porcelain.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.

Stop, Little Pot, Stop /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

The Brothers Grimm have a profound fairy tale called "The Magic Porridge Pot."

A mother and her daughter lived in poverty. One day, the girl went into the forest to pick berries and met an old woman who asked for some. In return, she gave the girl a magic pot. At the command, “Cook, little pot,” it would make porridge infinitely until someone said, “Stop, little pot”.

From that day on, they never went hungry again. But one day, after the daughter left, the mother started the pot and forgot how to stop it. Porridge flooded the house, then the street. Everything was drowning in porridge, and no one could stop the endless flow.

Fortunately, the girl returned from the forest and said, “Little pot, stop.”

The fairy tale illustrates why some women and men are afraid to unleash their true life force. They believe there is emptiness inside them, that they have no energy, that they are incapable of creating anything.

Reality is exactly the opposite. Within them lies an immense power of generativity, creativity, and abundance. It presses against the protective dam of the mind, desperately trying to break through.

Meanwhile, the person heroically tries to plug the hole with her own body while a powerful stream of “porridge” struggles to reach the world.

No wonder this battle drains all her strength and eventually breaks her body.

She is terrified of the very abundance of Life that both she and everyone around her desperately need.

But why?

She (or he) forgot, or was never taught, how to say, “Stop. Enough. No.”

Inside us, there must be a regulator, an interrupter of pleasure, a keeper of boundaries. Otherwise, food becomes poison, a good intention becomes violence, and paradise becomes hell.

The paradox is that a person can become truly creative and fruitful only when she knows with absolute certainty that she can stop the process at any moment.

That means deliberately creating Pause. Emptiness. Hunger. Nothing.

Surplus and Scarcity fundamentally need each other.

Want Abundance in your life? Learn to love and value Emptiness.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Stuck? Your business grows when you do. I’m your business therapist to guide your shift. See testimonials ​here​. Ready? ​Book your Catalyst session​.