I am sure you know the voice of your inner Critic well. Its speech is merciless and venomous. He kicks you in the gut and injects poison into your mind.
But who is it, really? What is it actually trying to achieve?
Psychology literature offers different explanations. For psychoanalysis, it's the internalized voice of your parents and society, absorbed in childhood. For Buddhism, it's just a stream of thoughts with no "Self" of its own.
I like psychologist Robert Moore's view best:
“The two Archetypal Self words are more and better. It wants you to do it better, yesterday, perfectly, without effort.”
As a rule, the worse your relationship with a given aspect of the Self (the individual's deep center), the louder and more often that voice drills into your brain. Feeling neglected, it begins to take revenge.
For example, you are convinced that aggression has no place in your empathic nature, while discipline, endurance, and clear boundaries are complete nonsense.
In that case, the archetype splits in two. Sometimes it suddenly takes possession of you. The rest of the time, it criticizes you from the background.
In the first case, others suffer from its bite. In the second, you do.
So what's the way out?
The one thing almost nobody is willing to do: build a relationship with the Other.
Whatever feels the least like you — and is therefore disgusting, terrifying, stupid, or shameful — is exactly what would enrich you most as a person.
Doing this alone is difficult. You need an experienced guide. For me personally, both individual and group psychotherapy have been invaluable.
Just like in pottery: sticky, shapeless clay passes through fire and becomes elegant Chinese porcelain.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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