I made my first bungee jump almost 30 years ago.
Yet I am still drawing insights from that experience.
For example, while falling, I was surprised to notice my clenched fists.
It was useless and absurd — but I kept grabbing at the air.
Only at the end, near the ground, was I able to open my hands.
That happened when I realized I was not going to die this time.
Only then did fear turn into euphoria.
Apparently, even Emptiness in your hands is better than Nothing at all.
The very act of grasping, however slightly, still calmed me down.
During my first parachute jump, a procedure served the same purpose.
The moment I stepped out of the plane, I became preoccupied with the checklist: “Did the canopy open? Are the lines twisted? Did I disable the reserve chute?”
By the time I'd worked through every step, I was completely calm.
Looking around, I realized I was suspended between earth and heaven.
In that moment, the whole world was divinely beautiful.
With fear gone, exhilaration filled my vessel to the brim.
What is the takeaway?
When we encounter the Unknown, fear is natural and inevitable.
Fear can become absolute, and then you are finished. You disappear.
Anything that helps you feel "I exist" will do.
I am the One Who Does something, anything: notices, acts, feels.
I am here, even when Chaos is all around me.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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