Insight 20 Years Later / December 12, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Only now, 10–20 years later, do I understand the meaning behind my actions.

Take, for example, buying a favorite painting with an "abstract" theme. Or choosing a plant with an unusual shape for my home. The dynamics of my relationship with a business partner. The design of my offices. The name of my podcast. And so on.

Finally, everything is making sense and falling into place.

Why? Because of a methodical exploration of myself, nurtured by the wise and kind guidance of my therapist.

Breakthroughs, after all, happen both upward and downward in equal measure. Remember Ernest Hemingway’s words: “How did you go bankrupt?” Bill asked. “Two ways,” Mike answered. “Gradually, and then suddenly.”

All meaningful changes happen in a nonlinear way. Ostriches incubate their eggs for 35–45 days, seemingly in vain, and then—bam—a chick!

20 years ago, my eyes and hands performed certain actions, but my mind couldn't grasp their meaning. Just like an unborn baby in the womb doesn’t understand where it is, why it’s there, or how its limbs are forming.

Yet the immaturity of the mind doesn’t stop Life from moving the organism forward.

That’s why so many of our adventures and misfortunes often feel like random accidents, mistakes, whims of others, or coincidences.

But in reality the whole mess was cooked up by our hungry inner selves.

It’s fascinating how this new insight gives value to both what I’ve always been proud of and what I’ve been deeply ashamed of. Something within me has been expressing itself all along, but I could only accept certain forms while rejecting others.

When every experience and feeling finally finds its place, it’s almost absurd to think about how much I resisted, avoided, and agonized over them.

The shadow cannot block the sun. Darkness cannot stain the light.

It turns out, all that was needed for metamorphosis was:

Creating an atmosphere of acceptance for the whole self.
Choosing the right lens to study the phenomenon.
Finding words that precisely capture the essence.

How many mysteries still lie hidden within us?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

The Chaos of Strategy / December 11, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Leaders often make a critical mistake when developing company strategy: They involve too many people in the process.

The result? The opposite of what they hoped for:

The exercise eats up resources,
Control over the process weakens,
Conflicts and grievances multiply,
Respect for the leader declines,
Instead of a strategy – a fiction,
Everyone sticks to their own perspective,
and the team lacks unity.

A leader may use plenty of elegant words to justify this approach. But the real reason?

Fear of taking full responsibility for the outcome. This fear drives the attempt to share the burden with others. Often, that's also why moderators and business consultants are brought into the mix.

Yes, uncertainty weighs heavily on the leader. But every competitor feels the same weight. The difference is, some impose their strategy on the market, while others follow the crowd.

The overwhelmed leader thinks: “Everyone around me expects a winning strategy—employees, co-owners, investors, creditors, clients. Am I a magician? I don’t have the answer. And I can’t admit that to anyone!”

Think of the image of Atlas holding up the sky. It’s brutally hard. I’ve been a CEO myself—my shoulders still remember it. But I also remember the relief—mine and that of other leaders I’ve helped.

There’s no real dilemma between holding up the sky alone or dumping it on others.

The load needs to be meaningfully divided, with each participant taking a piece they can handle. While all share similar intentions, their understanding of the context, roles and responsibilities varies.

I firmly believe that within every company, the resources needed to craft a winning strategy already exist. The leader has a choice:

a) Struggle alone, risking burnout,

b) Shift responsibility onto the team, moderators, etc.,

c) Create the conditions for the strategy to reveal itself naturally.

Someday, I’ll detail how this works. For now, here’s one tip:

If you’re a founder-CEO, hold off on calling a strategy session until you’ve answered this one question: “What’s it all for?”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Alchemy of Love / December 10, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The most important things in life happen when their time comes—not when we want them to, even if we want them with all our hearts.

If it were otherwise, we’d quickly lose interest in life.

Think about it—why bother with longing, worry, or anticipation if every move is already mapped out and the ending is printed in tomorrow’s paper?

At its core, life is a surprise: “Oh! No! Wow! Really?!”

If all surprises were pleasant and profitable, they’d lose their magic. Without the risk of loss or disappointment, champagne goes flat, and gold turns into copper. We need uncertainty in full measure—the good and the bad.

Triumph pushes us to wander too far into the unknown. Defeat forces us to pause, transform, and hunger for a comeback.

Each extreme exhausts itself, nudging us toward a turnaround.

So why do we loathe the risk of mistakes so much that we get stuck in the swamp instead of rafting down the mountain river?

We lack unconditional love—the kind that values us simply for existing, not for what we’ve achieved.

In our imperfection, we are worthy.

Like water, love is a universal solvent. Without them, life on Earth is unimaginable. Love dissolves and washes away everything—fear, filth, doubt, sins, and scars.

Whoever loves and is loved meets the unknown head-on. In such a person, an alchemical furnace burns. It transforms evil into good.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Pause to Expand / December 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

There are moments when I just want to stand by the window.

My mind shifts from the glow of car lights to raindrops and back again.

Thoughts flow unpredictably, and I follow them like a paper boat.

I like that so many people are rushing off to do their own things.

But I’ve frozen time. Why?

The pause is doing important work inside me.

Like a compressed Oshibori towel swelling when soaked with water, I expand.

I could easily occupy my mind with another task, book, or podcast.

But that would be like quenching thirst with soda instead of spring water.

Right now, it’s essential to create and hold onto emptiness.

That way, the water of life has a chance to seep into my mind, body, and soul.

What is this source? I don’t know. But it’s there, always ready to nourish.

All you have to do is stop rushing, be still, and receive it with gratitude.

A pause is a necessary step before you can create something again.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Born to Create / December 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

How to improve something that already exists—that's clear. You just need to figure out where it squeaks, rubs, or malfunctions, prioritize the problems, and make changes.

Version 100 will undoubtedly be better than version 99.

But it’s a different story if you’re trying to create something from scratch. Sure, it’s not about unraveling the mysteries of consciousness or volcanic activity. But in your own little universe, you’re creating something out of nothing.

You’re driven to solve a problem that poisons life for many.

There’s something about it that won’t let you just walk away. It grips you. Why? Because of the potential for a solution. You anticipate the relief everyone will feel once it’s resolved.

And there’s this strange conviction that you can do it—if you commit fully and luck is on your side.

At this moment, your perfectionism becomes your worst enemy.

Imagine if, instead of you as a baby, a fully grown, mature, and completely accomplished person were born. Where would they go from there? What would be the point of their life? Your existence would lose its meaning.

Instead, your potential is hammering to break free, like a chick pecking its way out of an egg.

In this scenario, you don’t really know what you’re dealing with. The beauty of anything new is its ability to surprise you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a startup, children, or even yourself.

It’s those moments of wonder—the “Aha!”—that make creating something new so magical. Later, it will grow, expand, and evolve. But in the beginning, it just needs to be. Simply exist as it is.

The very act of bringing the implicit into any form is an achievement.

It’s always a miracle. You can, and you should, be proud of yourself.

Someone who truly loves you helped you become a Creator.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How Do We Enter (Anti)Flow? / December 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In 1975, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi introduced the concept of Flow—a state we reach when a task's challenge perfectly aligns with our skills.

The process of your merging with the problem creates the solution itself.

Without a meaningful challenge, boredom becomes unbearable. When skills fall short, anxiety and panic creep in. And if neither challenge nor skill exists, apathy takes over our soul.

Imagine you're faced with a task. Is it fascinating or insurmountable?

There are both objective and subjective parts. The objective part is straightforward—it’s tied to your accumulated knowledge and experience. But the subjective perception of the problem? For me, that can shift wildly within a single day.

In the morning, it’s “I'm doomed!” By evening, it’s “I’m the Lord of the Rings!” Fatigue, illness, injury, conflict, failure, or bad news can change everything. Suddenly, what felt like a pesky dwarf becomes a bloodthirsty Cyclops.

By the way, for managing emotions, check out this episode.

Another factor shaping whether you think “This is awful!” or “No big deal” is this: Did you choose the task willingly, or was it forced upon you? Curiously, one can transform into the other and back again.

No resources or tech are required for this transformation—just willpower, faith, and thought.

I’m both inspired and awed by the infinite potential that lies within each of us.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Demand for Real / December 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In winter, you won’t find fruits and vegetables native to your region. Sure, the supermarket sells things that look the part—same name, color, texture and shape. Polished produce sits on the shelf, every piece identical, like it’s been selected for a show.

But the moment you bite into, say, a tomato, it’s obvious: “Ugh, not even close.”

And suddenly, you’re nostalgic for your youth, for that summer garden, and the freshly picked Bull’s Heart. Oh, that lovely misshapen form, its hefty weight, dense flesh, and sweet taste!

It’s like whispering, awkward and quiet, for the first time: “I love you.”

Authenticity is beautiful, first for its essence, then for its form.

But artificial things usually get it backward. And that makes sense—form is easy to copy and mass-produce, but capturing the essence? That’s the real challenge. What’s more, when something seems too perfect, it probably isn’t.

Because what is your life? It’s a constant adaptation to the surprises the world throws at you and tossing your surprises back in return. In this whirlwind, what matters are forms that fit the here and now, not flawless ones.

Digital technologies, especially artificial intelligence, can multiply every known form a billionfold. That means the demand for authenticity will grow exponentially.

The paradox is that to thrive, all we have to do is be ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Gold in the Mud / December 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The further we go, the more obvious it becomes how harmful social media is. Like strong alcohol, if there’s any benefit to it, it’s mainly for forgetting your problems for a while.

Content creators will do anything to grab attention—from staging mean provocations with strangers to outright distorting facts. Sadly, artificial intelligence has become gasoline for this fire.

But every phenomenon has a dual nature.

Even in muddy streams, you can find grains of gold. On Instagram, for instance, I sift through health insights, art, humor, and grappling techniques.

Here’s my current “catch of the day”:

The “Waltz” of judoka @jflojudo
News about protein helping kidneys by @biolayne
Hypnotic photo streams by @loeildelaphotographie
A kaleidoscope of impressions from @art_cage_budapest
Charming family humor from @mikeandjoelle
Kind and innocent pranks by @ayorook

The last creator constantly receives comments like: “I can’t get enough of these videos )),” “So refreshing,” and “bro is spreading happiness.” I can’t help but smile in anticipation whenever I see his latest “question.”

Remember that old debate about whether existence shapes consciousness or vice versa?

These creators prove that a lot depends on us, no matter how bleak, deceitful, or corrupt the environment may seem. There’s always a chance to teach, inspire, or make someone laugh.

These "little things" keep humanity from falling into the abyss.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When Profit Lies / December 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Profit margins are a great metric, but sometimes they lie.

Imagine an entrepreneur sketching a new business idea on a napkin in a café for a potential partner. At this stage, there’s no profit, no revenue, no team, no structure—nothing.

Now, compare that to a solid company, maybe even a market leader. Sophisticated processes, offices worldwide, thousands of employees—and profits so massive they barely fit in the annual report.

Metaphorically, the first case is like a seed planted in rich black soil. The second? A tree stump covered in mushrooms. Outwardly, the stump looks alive and thriving, but inside, it’s dead.

Of course, not every new project will survive. And sometimes, even a large organization can reinvent itself. But that’s not the point here.

Pay attention to the source of life.

A lush appearance shouldn’t blind you to a hollow core. And on the flip side, don’t rush to dismiss what seems insignificant. “Nothing” might just surprise you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Beyond Either-Or / December 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

An infantile mind craves simple answers: yes or no, good or bad, black or white. But just like indulging in sugar or alcohol, the fleeting satisfaction comes at a steep cost later.

Reality, with all its dimensions, punishes those who insist on thinking in 2D.

Take beginner bikers, for example. They tend to slam either the brakes or the gas. On a quiet straightaway, that might work, but not in the city, and not off-road.

To master the art of maneuvering, you must engage the clutch, brakes, and throttle simultaneously—like playing a trumpet.

Every phenomenon is always more complex than your mental image of it. That’s why we suffer when trapped in dilemmas. On one side, there’s X; on the other, Y. Both have their merits. You can’t choose, but you must. And so, we swing wildly between them.

Stress is nothing but a short circuit when the mind can’t decide.

Here’s the thing: the mind sees the world only through what it already knows. Anything beyond that, it ignores entirely.

That’s where you, the master of your mind, must push it—like freeing a stuck motorcycle from the mud.

Paradox (from the Greek paradoxos, meaning “unexpected” or “strange”) refers to a statement or idea that clashes with common sense and seems illogical (Wiki).

Your “wild” mission is to destroy the dilemma—or at least shake it loose.

One way to do that is to step out of the either-or mindset and into both-and. It’s a different way of seeing things, where opposites coexist without conflict. Their tension creates value, not harm.

One day, I might create a course about dilemmas in business and life—how they arise, what drives them, and most importantly, how to manage and resolve them. If this course interests you, let me know: “Yes, and here’s why...”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Where to Draw Strength? / December 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When you have plenty of strength, looking down at the ground is good—and necessary. That’s where you’ll find the harvest, the treasures, and the satisfaction of living “here and now.”

But if you’re stuck or feeling weak, it’s time to lift your gaze upward. For each of us, this symbolic act means something different:

For an athlete, it’s straightening your posture in the fight.
For an entrepreneur, it’s recalling the business vision.
For a writer, it’s calling the muse for inspiration.
For an inventor, it’s seeking the paradox.
For a believer, it’s turning to God.

The point is to stop focusing on yourself and step out.

When your tank is full, it’s easy to imagine yourself as the master of the road. It's a different story when the fuel gauge hits zero or, worse, when your car is in a ditch and the nearest town is five hundred miles away in the steppe.

Your weakness reveals where the true source of strength lies.

And that makes sense. A broken system cannot fix itself. It needs the intervention of an Architect, an Engineer, a Creator.

Unfortunately, false beliefs often get in the way—ideas we either cling to too tightly or fail to recognize altogether. Explaining them all would take more than a book.

But the core of these delusions is this: “Only the material is real. The intangible does not exist.”

When the letter denies the spirit, the water of life drains from the body. This is true whether we’re talking about a person, an organization, or an entire nation.

So when you find yourself stuck again, reread this article. The way out is always close. Just lift your gaze.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When Your Partner Changed / December 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Luck is when several partners come together to build a business. I’ve written before about the advantages and challenges of that.

Covering each other’s weaknesses builds strength and allows everyone to shine.

But years later, one co-founder may feel dissatisfied with another:

"He’s stopped fully engaging in our company’s affairs."
"She’s got other business projects and interests."
"We talk less often now, just to avoid conflict."
"I don’t see what value he brings anymore."
"She’s off on vacation again."

Usually, one assumes the other partner has changed for the worse. In reality, losing interest in the business is just a symptom. The real cause is the partners losing their shared purpose.

At the start, things were simpler—survive and grow, find and keep. Partners understood each other without words. There was no need for clear visions, strategies, priorities, or similar tools.

Years passed, and everything changed—business, team, market, and the partners themselves. Without the habit or a process for discussing a shared future, each partner began building his own.

Disagreements are inevitable when the goals diverge, but the resource (the business) is shared.

What's the solution? If the partners haven't yet resorted to threats or formed secret coalitions, the partnership can still be repaired quickly.

At a minimum, this requires:

Taming pride.
Being willing to listen to the other person.
Knowing your own interests and being able to voice them.
Believing that function defines form, not the other way around.
Understanding what makes a partnership work—and what doesn’t.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Light from Darkness / November 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The worse it gets, the better. That’s the paradox of transformation. Unpleasant, but true.

The old form is gathering its last strength to destroy the new form before it gets stronger.

If it succeeds, the old form becomes a zombie—neither alive nor dead. The status quo is preserved. The forest turns into a zoo, and later, a museum filled with stuffed animals.

This struggle tests the new forms for resilience. The immature ones will give up. Only those who love Life more than themselves will endure. They draw strength from the spirit of change.

The climax of the conflict between forms is inevitable. And the sooner it resolves, the easier it will be for everyone.

The old form is tired and eager to leave but fears and resists what’s best for it. Its mistake lies in identifying with the fading form rather than the spirit that created it. It’s like snow covering the clear tracks of a beast that’s already far, far away.

Without realizing it, the old form provokes the new one to defeat it. In its hysteria, it crosses every imaginable boundary, reaching the point of absurdity. Destructive forces brutally awaken the creative spirit from its long slumber.

“Lux In Tenebris” — “Light from Darkness.”

This phrase comes from the Latin translation of the Gospel of John: “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

Knowing this, we can remain resilient and curious as the darkness temporarily thickens. As poet Robert Frost wrote: "The best way out is always through".

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Vicious cycle? / November 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Turning evil into good is a fascinating business.

Take, for example, how slot machine developers easily hook users. Michael Easter, a professor and writer, calls this cyclical behavior the scarcity loop.

The loop has three parts:

Opportunity to gain something valuable.
Unpredictability of rewards.
Quick repeatability.

This loop is so addictive that it’s embedded into social networks, dating apps, personal finance sites, freelancing platforms, etc.

It’s no wonder we stick to these like ants to maple syrup.

But the issue isn’t who spilled the honey—it’s the “ant’s” natural pull toward pleasure. You can fight and deny that pull all you want, but it won’t go away.

The only way out is to make that harmful factor work for us.

First, understanding the principle makes it easier to break bad habits. Next, let’s define when activity X stops being exciting for us:

X offers little of personal value.
Rewards are fixed in size or rarely vary.
You can only try again after a long delay.

Finally, here’s how to make your important project Y irresistible:

Find a deep, personal meaning in it.
Expand the range of rewards—ideally, make them limitless.
Break the marathon into sprints with clear results.

And that’s why entrepreneurs don’t want regular jobs. Or why they engage in corporate entrepreneurship within the company.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Partnership Paradox / November 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

This morning, I turned off the alarm but lingered for a moment, slipping back into the arms of sleep. A temptation whispered: "Come on, skipping one workout won’t hurt. Your partner will understand."

But since we agreed yesterday, I had to drag myself out of bed.

After sparring, we sat catching our breath and talked. My partner confessed he’d also struggled to show up this morning—and only did it for me.

We both faltered, yet somehow leaned on each other and kept going.

Everyone has weak moments. If not, he wouldn’t be human—he’d be God. Where, when, or why the cracks will open is personal. One weakness often leads to another, and then another...

So how do you protect yourself from slipping into the abyss?

The answer lies in another person—imperfect, just like you.

The thing is, people stumble at different times. When one is weak, the other is strong. And vice versa. They balance each other out.

Even when both are ready to quit, the mere image of the other pulls them back. It’s like a flipped version of the "prisoner's dilemma" in game theory: “How awkward would it be if I gave up and my cool partner didn’t?”

Lucky is the founder who isn’t alone in business. But not everyone can tolerate, much less appreciate, the otherness of a partner. Yet when they do, their venture weathers the storms and keeps growing.

Paradoxically, the perfect machine is built from imperfect parts.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Too Open to Thrive / November 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Some people don’t know what they truly want.

But for others, it’s the opposite—they’re curious about nearly everything.

This trait is called Openness to Experience, one of the Big Five personality dimensions. The IPIP-NEO-PI personality inventory breaks Openness into six facets:

Challenging authority,
Aesthetic sensitivity,
Intellectual curiosity,
Active imagination (fantasy),
Awareness of inner feelings,
Preference for variety (adventurousness).

Sounds appealing, right? Well, it depends on whether you can manage it. I’ve worked with founders whose Openness limited or even wrecked their businesses.

Here’s the problem: an excessive drive for variety leads to indiscriminate choices.

It's like a starving orphan in a bakery, grabbing every pastry, biting into one, then moving on to the next, trying to taste it all.

Clearly, you can’t build a sustainable business like that.

What’s the solution?

You have to help the person set priorities. For that, they need criteria. And criteria come from long-term goals.

Seems simple: just say it all out loud, and voilà!

But here’s the thing—if you do it sincerely, not just formally, it’s a deeply personal question: Why are you here at all?

The answer is as powerful as it is terrifying.

That's why a genuine response is only possible if the person trusts that the question is from someone whose intentions are kind.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Very First Step / November 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Again and again, I witness a fascinating phenomenon.

From the very first meeting, clients feel a sense of relief.

And it’s not because we’re generating solutions—not yet.

For that hour, we talk about the bad, the grim, the downright awful—their problem.

Actually, they do most of the talking. I rarely ask questions; mostly, I just listen.

You’d think that “digging into the wound” would make things worse, right? But no. By the end of the session, their voices brim with the energy to live and create.

What’s the secret?

When the implicit becomes explicit, a “shift” occurs.

This term comes from the psychotherapeutic practice of Focusing. It’s when a person physically feels a positive step forward. Outwardly, it looks like a deep exhale, a release of tension, tears, or laughter.

It's like that moment when you finally remember that important password or name.

The client manages to describe their situation with precision. It’s one thing to know that some deadly threat is lurking in your house; it’s another to find the snake and pin it to the floor with your boot.

Yes, it’s terrifying to make a mistake. You’re sweating bullets, and you don’t have the right tools. This step alone is not sufficient, but it is necessary for liberation.

Want to try an experiment, right here, right now?

Describe what confuses, worries, or keeps you up at night about your business. Be honest—you’re doing this for yourself.

Try to choose words that really capture the essence.

Then, if you’d like, send it to me. Knowing there’s an addressee will make your description more precise. I promise to read it and, of course, keep it confidential. So, shall we bring to light what’s hidden within you?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What is Your Horizon? / November 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People behave the worst when there’s no horizon in relationships.

That’s why expecting stellar service at a train station café is naive. The endless flow of tired, hurried strangers doesn’t exactly inspire warmth. The seller will never see customers again.

If “Agreeableness” isn’t baked into your personality, you’d start sighing, snapping, and being rude on that job too.

The peak of having no shared future is the “every man for himself” mentality. How many people wouldn’t step on others to get ahead? Only a small percentage.

Now think about this: “Are there many companies with a long-term horizon in their relationships with people?” If the answer is “No,” it’s no surprise there are so many dissatisfied employees, shareholders, and CEOs.

You could blame modern culture, which glorifies project-based work, remote setups, etc. But here’s a critical question: has leadership clearly articulated the future of the business, the one they want to build?

And I’m not talking about vague, lofty words. I mean a pragmatic, precise description of the destination you invite everyone to journey toward.

Leaders who shirk responsibility end up with a garden of problems:

Trouble hiring and retaining talent
Frequent dishonesty
Team conflicts
Low loyalty
Swelling costs
Unhappy customers
Poor returns on capital
Regular kickbacks from contractors
Below-average profits and margins etc.

But if the goal is to create value in business, extend that horizon.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What is this creature? / November 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

This video explores whether it's truly possible to change yourself.

Take a Labrador and a Belgian Malinois—dogs with similar builds. Yet their reactions to danger couldn't be more different. One sits back and blinks innocently, while the other locks its jaws on the threat with unrelenting force.

Want to turn one into the other? You’d have better luck turning a circle into a square.

Every living organism is designed with a specific purpose. Everything—from muscle fibers to the nervous system—shapes behavior X, not Y or Z.

The more complex a creature, the more freedom of choice it has.

But no one can become just anyone. Life isn't a video game. You can’t morph into a dwarf or change your biological sex.

Even your psychological type remains fairly constant.

For example, Openness to Experience is associated with a more left-oriented and Conscientiousness with a more right-oriented political orientation. Agreeableness may lead to less career success but greater happiness. Extroversion fosters leadership but can also lead to impulsivity.

That said, your personality isn’t fixed like a robot’s.

People have the freedom to decide how much of their potential to bring to life. Imagine you were born with a flute for a body. You can be ashamed of your ‘flaw,’ play timidly in the shower, or captivate the crowd at Carnegie Hall.

That’s why it’s crucial to discover, admit, and love who you are.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Curse of Talent / November 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Talented people often destroy themselves. Why?

Here he is, wandering for ages, taking risks in uncharted lands. By some miracle, he finds treasure and returns home. You’d think he’d settle down and enjoy his success. But no—he bets it all on zero and ends up broke.

Society gasps, “What have you done?!”

They didn’t understand him back then, and they don’t understand him now. Before, he wasted time and energy on a “wild gamble.” Now, he’s burning through his fortune. What is he, an idiot?

But he always did what he couldn’t help but do.

Think of an icebreaker and a yacht. The icebreaker has a reactor inside—it doesn’t need the wind. It powers forward, smashing through ice— conventions, habits, public opinion, and so on.

A hammer doesn’t care. It will drive a nail into the wall or shatter a vase with equal enthusiasm.

Its hammerness is its nature. It can’t be otherwise. It runs in his blood—his great-grandfather, grandfather, and father were like this. Or maybe his mother secretly wished for it all along.

It sounds like a sentence. And it is—until the person begins to explore his own “reflectivity,” “acidity,” or “fluffiness.”

That’s when he gets a chance to tame the beast he’s forced to live with. With effort and luck, he can forge the best partnership possible.

The individual gains a loyal, strong, and inventive friend.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.