Bull's Eye / by Alexander Lyadov

Tropical cyclone Sam swirling over the Indian Ocean in an image taken by astronaut Bonnie Dunbar from space shuttle Columbia, 1990. LIFE Picture Collection

When the power goes out in the evening, I'm not sad. No more temptation to go online, check the news, or get some work done.

This day is already over, and the new one isn’t born yet. The world has forgotten about me. I’ve forgotten about it too. This brief moment “in-between” is filled with freedom.

I sit in the dark, looking out from the 13th floor at my beloved Kyiv. My hair is ruffled by the draught, and my thoughts by the witty philosopher Alan Watts.

How does it feel? Like a skydive, a psychedelic trip, or your first sex. The anxiety of “How will it be?” is behind you, and ahead is the effort to grasp: “What was that?” There is a ringing silence between the sky and the earth.

The eye of a hurricane, or the bull’s eye — a space of clarity and calm in the center of a tropical cyclone [Wiki]. The stronger the cyclone, the brighter the sunlight, the lower the pressure, and the quieter the wind in the “pupil.” There is peace, and there is not.

Meanwhile, the surrounding world spins more fiercely, like a dervish in an ecstatic trance:

  • the shaking of the global order,

  • the impotence of international institutions,

  • the spiritual decline of Western culture,

  • the madness of COVID and AI,

  • and the burning fuse of wars.

But reading history, you see how often the world has already walked on the edge. The storms came, and the ship listed to one side — then to the other. But every time, somehow, a miracle happened at the last moment.

God still loves humanity, despite all its attempts to kill and forget Him.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


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