Bifurcation point /  by Alexander Lyadov

In business, can I control myself without a leash?

“Stop! Hands up!” those words sounded like a shot in the morning silence. Fifty meters away, a guy in camouflage was approaching, pointing his machine gun straight at us. Yes, I was not alone. Not yet awake, I was out for a walk with my dog. The familiar path along the fence made an L-shaped turn, so it wasn’t until I came around the corner that I realized we were trapped. A couple of passersby were facing the fence in the distance, and they were being searched by a soldier. The rest of the group was moving toward us. It was late February when the cleanup of saboteurs was being carried out daily in Kyiv. It was not clear who was in front of me — friend or foe.

The situation was complicated by the fact that a minute before the encounter I had let the dog off its leash. And now, while I froze with my hands up, the dog was studying the machine gunner with interest, sitting at my leg. There is a term in physics for a bifurcation point. It’s the unstable state of a system when a feather can break the back of an elephant. In a steady voice, I called out: “I’m sorry, can I fasten the leash? I’m afraid he’s about to start on you.” Approaching, the military man muttered: “If he lunges, I’ll shoot him.” The heat was so intense, you could cut him with a katana. I thought, “The dog’s about to snap. What if the guy gets scared and shoots?” So I explained, “The dog ain’t mean and won’t bite, he’ll just kick you with his nose. Can I strap him in?” “Okay,” replies the stranger, “with your left hand and slowly”. Sometimes a second stretches into infinity. Finally my “beast” is on the leash. The guy’s tension subsides: “What’s your address? Oh, close by? Okay, off you go.” We quickly pick up speed toward home: “Ohhh! That was lucky”.

What lesson have I learned? If the dog is not 100% in control, “free-range” is not an option. A little more joy, but instead an unbearable risk. This is true not only of the dog but of anything I manage, such as a business. But the main question is, in critical situations, can I control myself without a “leash”?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

Alexander Lyadov portrait

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Obvious non-obviousness /  by Alexander Lyadov

Obvious non-obviousness.
"What a relief... But it's so obvious!" - the founder says, surprised, after his business positioning, growth strategy, or negotiation dilemma has become clearer. He's right - breakthrough solutions bring a sense of liberation from a heavy burden, like Sisyphus would have felt if he had learned a way to keep the stone from rolling down the top of the hill. Perhaps you have been suffering from a "pebble in your shoe" for a long time, but you have somehow - with patience, ointments and crutches - adapted to it. Suddenly, bang, and my chafed feet plunge into a refreshing mountain spring.

At the same time, you are perplexed as to why such an obvious thing took so long to be perceived as such. In trying to remember the important password, only a moment separates the “before” and the “after”. But how different these states are. The first is the torture of the clue that swirls on the tip of the tongue. The second is the arrow fired from the bow: "Oh gods, finally! However, you are unfair to yourself, for the illumination has irreversibly transformed you. Once you have seen the “secret” of optical illusion, you cannot unsee it. Freshly trampled neural pathways instantly recognize a new pattern in a familiar picture. It was a mystery for the old you, but for the new you it is the obviousness.

Fortunately, not one drop of your sweat, blood and tears has been shed in vain. They have infused the black soil of your subconscious with moisture as you tilled it with the plow of questions. And no matter how long it takes, at least you are the sole master and beneficiary of the process. Is it possible, and more importantly, wise, to delegate the birth and upbringing of one's children, initiation, creativity, or finding personal meaning? The older you are, the more peculiar your life path is, including your problems that take "too long" to find solutions. Who are we to know everything about the transcendent? The important thing is not to avoid the problem, but to resourcefully take at least some steps.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Being misunderstood /  by Alexander Lyadov

Always remember that it is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood: there will always be some who misunderstand you” said Sir Karl Popper, one of the most influential philosophers of science of the XXth century. And he, more than anyone else, was able to articulate his thoughts with surgical precision. So what to do? Accept the unpleasant fact that no matter how much effort we put into our speech, post, or article, someone will still interpret our words falsely, and maybe even twist the meaning. Why?

First, hearing the other is a rare skill. It requires forgetting about yourself for a while, turning off your assumptions, and devoting 100% of your attention to the person. Then there’s a chance behind the husk of categories, labels and associations, to notice a peculiar personality in a particular moment of being.

Secondly, as one psychotherapist said, we go with our so-called symptom forward. And then we bump into each other, like knights with their lances. Some people don't hear what you said, but what very selectively pierces their spear. Triggers for them can be anything — an innocent word, a punctuation mark or an “untimely” open mouth. It is important to understand that there is no you in their interpretation. Using you, these people are waging a battle with their past, trying, for example, to separate from their absorbing mother, castrate their nagging father, get their sister's love, etc.

Most importantly, nothing authentic and alive can be fully expressed in words. And the more familiar the definitions, the more sophisticated the concepts, and the more precisely chosen the words, the sooner existence in our hands will change from ice to water, and then to steam. All of our concepts, systems, and structures are discarded snake skin, deer antlers, and clam shells. They, too, are valuable in their own way, but one must not confuse the form with the function that produced it.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Judgment and wisdom /  by Alexander Lyadov

“Judgment is knowing the long-term effects of your decisions, or being able to predict the long-term effects of your decisions,” says entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant. As he himself admits, his definition of judgment is close to wisdom. The only difference, he says, is that judgment focuses on external problems, while wisdom focuses on personal ones.

A subtle distinction, isn’t it? Everyone has probably met people who were extremely successful professionally, while their personal lives were hell. But we can also remember those who seemed to be in perfect harmony with themselves and acted sensibly exactly until they had to take responsibility for others and solve difficult problems in an extreme situation. Maybe there wasn’t judgment and wisdom there to begin with, or maybe these are two close but separate skills — unraveling external and internal problems.

As I have been working with entrepreneurs for the past twenty-five years, I cannot help but notice one phenomenon. A business can grow dynamically for a while, but in the end it always ends up resting against the personality of the founder. Then there is slowing down, plateauing, fussing, going to extremes, frequent mistakes, fading, and/or collapse. In other words, the ability to solve external problems reaches a local maximum. The bottleneck becomes the inability to look inward to notice the knots of false beliefs holding the business back.

But if the founder is able to reinvent himself, there is a quantum leap to a new level of personality and then the company. New customers come in, the team matures, profitability grows, and investors knock on the door. This renaissance happens right up to the next systemic dilemma. Perhaps true wisdom lies in knowing when it’s time to solve external problems and when it’s time to solve internal ones.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

An underrated skill /  by Alexander Lyadov

“Interviewing is a grossly underestimated skill. If you are not collecting rich stories in your interviews, it’s gonna be really hard to identify opportunities,” says Teresa Torres, Product Discovery Coach, whose clients include Spotify, CapitalOne, and Snagajob. According to Teresa, most product teams ask users direct questions out of context: “Do you like watching Netflix? How do you decide what to watch there?” and get superficial answers. It’s more helpful to ask open-ended questions, such as: “Tell us about the last time you watched a movie?” This allows you to hear details, insights and pains of the user, and most importantly, needs that they didn’t even realize they had.

When I studied the Focusing psychotherapy practice, mastering the six basic steps was easy. The harder part was not asking the client pattern questions or repeating the answers like a parrot, but rather seeing the unique personality and understanding the context from which the speech emerges. Therapy was successful when a “shift” occurred within the client. This was only possible when the person expressed exactly how he (or she) bodily felt his problem and was really heard by me. For this I needed openness, that is, the rejection of all preconceptions, categories, and forms. Otherwise, either the “thusness” of person-in-context did not reveal itself, or it passed through my fingers like sand.

No matter what we are talking about - SaaS-product discovery or psychotherapy. Valuable opportunities and breakthrough solutions reveal themselves only through the experience of a living person, but the questioner himself needs to “come alive” to get a real answer.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Need refueling? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Sometimes you find yourself in a state where you have neither the energy nor the desire to move your arm. There may be a queue of urgent matters in the diary or an important problem flickering in neon. But it is absolutely impossible to move you. Psyche hangs a categorical sign: “Gone to the base” in the style of saleswomen in the USSR. To get out of such a stalemate, I have several lock-picking strategies.

One of them is to look for the don’t-know-what out there. I glide my consciousness melancholically through the waves of environmental stimuli. Watching passersby in the window, listening to various podcast interviews, wandering around town, or going through the internet stash of illustrations, paintings, and photographs. The goal is to get into contact with the circle of life as much as I can. Sooner or later there will be a loop that will catch the hook of my interest.

After all, our loneliness, emptiness, and separation from the world are an illusion of the mind. Without a constant exchange with the environment, we would simply not exist. Philosopher and psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin wrote that the process of interaction is primary and nothing would make sense without it. For example, lungs without air. Once the “coupling” of the loop with the hook has occurred, the energy to live begins to reside, just as fuel fills the tank of an airplane during aerial refueling.

Of course, at the heart of the strategy is the belief that the missing puzzle in my picture is bound to be there somewhere. It’s a basic trust in the richness and bounty of the world. But it is also a trust in myself, specifically my ability to recognize that puzzle at the right time in the right place.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Numerator or denominator? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Every activity requires its adherents to make sacrifices. The outsider wonders: "Who could ever be attracted to this horror?" Pick any profession, sport, or hobby, and there are those who wrinkle their noses at once. What's the fun of crushing, breaking, and strangling each other in sweat-soaked kimonos, at the risk of dislocating a joint or splitting an eyebrow? Or saddling a fragile "stool," at 100 km / h, looping in a herd of metal "elephants"? How about taking out a loan secured by an apartment to then invest all the money in your new business with no guarantee that it will ever take off? Sounds eerily like the leap of faith without a parachute in the legendary movie "Point Break" (1991).

And while absolutely all human pursuits have haters as well as fans, for some reason people argue to the hilt whether something is bad or good. The question is not what the possible loss of health, reputation, time, or money is. What's in the "denominator" is more or less clear. The big question is, what is in the "numerator"? The trick is that there is no universal answer. You have to ask yourself the question and either find or not find personal meaning in activity X.

Even if many people do something with passion, this does not mean that their meaning is the same. Many motifs, like trails to the summit, lead climbers across the western, northern, eastern, and southern slopes. For example, people do not come to Brazilian jiu-jitsu just for self-defense skills. One is impressed by a versatile physical load in the form of a game, the other creatively expresses himself, the third collects insights, the fourth only here finds control over himself, the fifth develops fear of aggression, the sixth, alas, spits out his sadistic nature, and the seventh seeks and finds true friends.

Whatever you have to do, it is certainly important to be aware of the true cost. But having an answer to the question, "What's in it for me?" is infinitely more important.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Crab mentality /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

I learned with interest about the term “Crab mentality”. It came from observing the behavior of crabs in a bucket. Even if one of them has a chance to break free, reaching the boundary of the “prison”, the other crabs cling to him and pull him back. A similar phenomenon is observed in human communities, where people are extremely intolerant of those who have already achieved success or are making visible steps toward it. Whether the group dynamic is in science, business, philanthropy, film, or sports, the dynamics of preventing a comrade from escaping are universal. All you have to do is read the comments on social media to see for yourself.

Why do people do this? It seems to me it’s not just a matter of envy, jealousy or resentment. The other person’s accomplishments are a chilling reminder that I, too, could have done a lot if I had undertaken something decisive in the past. In other words, deep down we have a vague sense of our potential, but squander opportunities and time, only to torture ourselves later, “Too late!”

I would venture to say that the potential of most of those around you remains tragically unfulfilled. I see this problem even in entrepreneurs, who forge their own destiny. What about the rest of us, especially those who are stuck in jobs they hate or who have lost faith in themselves? It is unlikely that all people will suddenly have an epiphany. That is why it is so important to carefully choose your inner circle — partners, clients, colleagues, relatives and friends. Close communication has the effect of an echo chamber, which ends up forming either a nutrient solution or a poisonous environment for you.

The most important thing, however, is to go through the “bucket of crabs” within yourself. Our "Shawshank redemption" is hindered by false assumptions that either hold us by claws or we are sorry to let them go. It's reassuring to know that sometimes all it takes is one question to set us free.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Local redundancy /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

A lot of problems in life arise because of a phenomenon that I call “local redundancy”. I remember a few years ago, in jiu-jitsu, my finger joints began to ache unbearably. I started every training session by building an “exoskeleton” of band-aids for each finger. These “crutches” helped only partially.

Analyzing the reason, I realized that during fights I clung too tightly to the lapels of other people’s kimonos. Either because I didn’t want to let go of a position I had already lost, or because I tried to perform techniques solely by using my arms, I overstretched my fingers. A dangerous asymmetry emerged as a consequence of my opponent’s explosive effort with his whole body against my ten fingers. According to science, the destruction of material under overstress is the logical outcome. Having found the “root of the evil,” I began to involve my legs and back more often in the attack, as well as to let go of what could not be held. Pretty quickly the pain went away, and I forgot about the ritual of “mummifying” my fingers.

It’s the same in business. A top manager tries to solve an acute company problem with just his department, without calling for help from his colleagues. Or the founder’s brain is already exploding from the excessive operational routine, but he keeps saying, “No one will do it better than me”. Or it is high time for the company to part with the old one and find a new business model, because the market has changed and there is no future for the familiar technology/approach/product. Local redundancy always leads to trauma — the company loses an anchor client because of a top manager’s mistake, the owner burns out and loses interest in his business, and the weakened company is taken over by competitors.

The Buddha said: “Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is”. Sometimes important truths enter us faster through the gates of the body rather than the mind. That’s why I love Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Problems with your partner? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Everyone wants certainty, security and guarantees. After all, the world around us is an inexhaustible source of bitter and disastrous change. Entrepreneurs, too, want to stand their ground against the chaos of their industry, their country and the world. But sometimes this desire does them harm.

For example, when the founder clings to the terms of an outdated partnership agreement. It seems that he is right when he makes a claim: “I work 24 hours a day in the business, and you live two years abroad, receiving dividends on time. But we have equal shares, and you want to influence my decisions as before”. This is still a positive scenario, meaning that the person has a conscience, and between them there is trust, allowing them to voice what has boiled over inside. Often business is just quietly taken over.

But if you discern the spirit behind the letter of the agreement, it may not be the "plowman and the freeloader"that is the problem. Why, after a dozen years of successful cooperation, did one of the partners begin to lose interest in the business? Why did such a large company never form a professional team, and why was the founder involved in the operation as if it were a startup? Why, when disagreements grew over business strategy, did both pretend that everything was OK?

These and other "Why?" remind us that partnership is not so much a contract as it is a process. And this process adds value only if each participant is aware of the indispensability of the other's contribution. But everything changes - the context, the industry, the company, and the individual. Therefore, business, like an albatross in the wind, should not freeze the tilt of its wings. The dynamics of the process require periodic renegotiation of agreements. Legal documents, like a photograph or a video, try to capture real life, but in vain. The snapshot remains, but life has already moved on.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

What is your gift? /  by Alexander Lyadov

I am usually quite quick to see the peculiarity of the person in front of me. This is important, for example, in the context of a founder’s query about a lack of energy, loss of interest in the business, mediation of conflict, or the proverbial resting of the head on the “glass ceiling". Of course, I ask a number of additional questions, but rather to test my hypothesis and not to mess things up. This kind of diagnosis is especially impressive by contrast when it is not at all obvious to the person what he or she is naturally good at. Sometimes there are even laughter or tears, so fundamental is the insight into a greater understanding of oneself. The moment when a client’s eyes flash with joy is one of the most grateful moments in my work.

But I have no credit for this ability because it came from a combination of my nature and nurture. The first decade of my career was spent in the advertising industry during its tumultuous formative phase, a side effect of which was a high turnover of people. I had to conduct hundreds of interviews in order to urgently find people for the expanding team or to close the gap caused by the departure. For the second decade, now in the investment industry, I sought out and hired those who formed the teams — CEOs, COOs, СTOs, etc. The sheer number and variety of people has treated my diagnostic ability like a sharpener improves a pencil.

Ironically, my gift is a consequence of a curse. For years I've been desperately trying to figure out who I am and what I'm for. Unfortunately, it was all in vain. At times, there was a sense of abandonment and longing. All that remained was the belief that there was a way out of that labyrinth. One day I suddenly had the insight that I was a guide, an “in-between” and that my function was to help others understand their talent, inclination, potential, spark, and giftedness. So the “40 years wandering in the wilderness” made sense. Judging by my clients' testimonials, the grueling search for myself has turned a trivial log into a valuable tool.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Desirable inefficiency /  by Alexander Lyadov

Any new activity looks confusing and unmanageable at first. All the elements seem equally important and tear your attention to shreds. Not knowing where to expect a catch, the vulnerable mind flinches nervously at every hint and rustle. Muscles are constantly in hypertension to avoid irreparable mistakes. Obviously, during this period, your energy — physiological, mental, and spiritual — is siphoning out of every crevice for nothing. In short, your activities are insanely inefficient.

Many people are not ready to accept this fact. That is why, in addition to fear of the unknown, they are not ready to start anything new. It is especially evident in business, when large organizations make loud statements, spend huge money on R&D and BizDev activities, but have no real innovations and breakthrough solutions in the end. The fact is that by the time businesses have become big, the bulk of executives and employees are professionals in raising specific efficiencies to the second decimal place.

In their worldview, inefficiency is blatant heresy that must be mercilessly scorched with purging fire. Not surprisingly, for them, exploring novelty without guarantees of quick and predictable results is not an investment, but a throwing away of limited funds. Large companies tend to get tired of the "insolubility" of this dilemma and are forced to buy up one startup after another at exorbitant prices.

However, if you understand the fundamental difference in behavior in unfamiliar territory as compared to known territory, the loss of efficiency is not a problem, because there is a value more important by many orders of magnitude. All true entrepreneurs know this "secret". By the way, the increase in efficiency in the initial phase can be exponential, if you consciously slow down, use the minimum load and learn to distinguish between primary and secondary, function and form, figuratively speaking, good and evil.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Fear /  by Alexander Lyadov

“You are what you fear”. Once I have heard this paradoxical thought, I can no longer erase it from my “hard drive”. Now anything that provokes in me a spontaneous reaction of horror or fear is next questioned, “Is this really me?”. At first, the thought seems so ridiculous that I want to throw it in the trash. But as the number of cases I’ve looked at grows, I realize, “Hmm, there’s something there”.

What we fear the most is what we don’t understand. Everyone remembers how, as a child, some friend used to tell stories about the “black hand” and how painful it was to come home at night. Of course, what is the “black hand” specifically, was not specified. The child’s heightened imagination gave the object its own creepy details. The more amorphous, strange and mysterious the source of fear, the greater its paralyzing power. The absence of clear contours, familiar categories, and identifying marks means that, potentially, the threatening shadow is cast by something that longs to tear, chew, and digest you personally and all that is dear to you.

There are universal things that scare most people. But there is a remarkable variation in reactions to the rest. Some people break into a cold sweat at the mere mention of X, while others don’t see X at all. Some are obsessed with “dangerous” Y, sniffing it out, looking for it everywhere, and, of course, finding it. Some cannot sleep peacefully at the thought that somewhere out there in the world there is a nightmarish Z.

The aforementioned idea indicates that the one who fears Z is himself Z deep inside, but rejects it. Without being integrated, this aspect of the personality remains misunderstood and unrecognized and, like the hound of Baskervilles, is forced to howl longingly in the swamp at night, terrifying the master of the castle. And yet he might have been tamed and trained to guard the inhabitants from wolves.

Assuming this thought to be true, a careful examination of your fears is the way to multiply true riches — the knowledge of how much more you are than you have always thought you were.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Cyanide /  by Alexander Lyadov

“There’s only one pill that works for everything all at once — potassium cyanide,” the doctor wisely pointed out at an appointment today. She and I were discussing the astonishing request of many people for a doctor to cure them instantly, despite their unwillingness to stop eating junk food, abusing alcohol, not exercising and smoking too much. They practically say, “Doctor, just give me one white pill,” so that, like in a computer game, they can be born again and dive back into their usual pleasures.

If something in our lives exists, it means we need it for something. And it doesn’t matter whether we like it or not. Function determines form, not the other way around. So of course we can try to heal, strengthen or give crutches to a limping body, soul or mind. But that pull inside, which destroys the harmony of movement, will not go away, and will increasingly undermine the whole mechanism. In this sense, it is impossible to keep a person from committing suicide, if that is what he has decided to do. All his creative energy and ingenuity he will direct to bypass your “barriers”, just to get to the other side of the river Styx.

The same phenomenon is observed in business. The annoyed founder describes a string of negative symptoms in his company. And then, like a bedridden king in a fairy tale, he expects some magician to bring him a cup of the water of life. Unfortunately, no “potion” will change the situation in his business. Until the founder finds the reason why he destroys with his left hand what he then tries to heal with his right. The bad news is that it requires starting the analysis with himself, which is difficult and unpleasant. The good news is that it doesn’t require millions of dollars of investment, sophisticated software, or replacing the team. All it takes is researching and understanding that inner pull that strives for the good of the founder, but actually does him evil.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Master Plant /  by Alexander Lyadov

In the documentary series “How to Change Your Mind” about the role of psychedelics, journalist Michael Pollan mentions tobacco in addition to LSD, psilocybin, MDMA and mescaline. There are 8 million premature deaths worldwide each year from smoking, yet indigenous peoples have used tobacco for thousands of years to clear the mind and cure mental illnesses. When I went through the Ayahuasca ritual in Peru, everyone smoked tobacco grown in the jungle there. The smoke was supposed to ward off evil spirits. I’m not sure about demons, but during the hardest moments of the ceremonies, smoking did help me come to my senses. Some participants were prescribed specially prepared tobacco leaves as medicine by the shaman. There were also vegetable gardens on the retreat grounds where many plants were growing, including coca and cannabis.

The attitude of the Indians toward all these plants is different from that of the tourists in Amsterdam. There is no excitement, no anticipation of enjoyment, no teenage smirks. On the contrary, their attitude is reserved and respectful, for it is not just a “herb,” but a Master Plant. The urban dweller cringes contemptuously when he hears such “heresy,” saying it is the naive prejudice of primitive people stuck in the past. What knowledge can the “flower” convey to him? That is, until his pride is trampled by a personal catastrophe, which all the modern progress in free morality, philosophy, medicine, and technology could not help him cope with. Tragedy awakens humility. So there is a chance to find a nugget in the mud.

It is encouraging to see prominent scientists today trying to understand the mechanism of action of substances and rituals that helped our ancestors for perhaps millions of years. In the end, it’s not about a particular phenomenon, but about our ability to use it for our own benefit or detriment. The value is knowing the function, context and limits of anything, whether it is nuclear fusion or DMT.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

No hindrance /  by Alexander Lyadov

Legendary Canadian curler Vic Peters

Yesterday a customer asked his CFO to arrange payment for me. Today the CFO sent me a message saying, “Thank you for the paperwork! That was the most constructive and super fast interaction I’ve had with a contractor in 30 years).” It was nice and unexpected. After all, I didn’t really do anything. Just exchanged our companies details right away, and then promptly prepared and sent the invoice, contract, etc. for signature.

If customers want to pay you, you shouldn’t put obstacles in their way. Common sense, right? But from this experienced CFO’s observation, not everyone is adept at common sense in business. How often have you been stuck in a restaurant, waiting for a long time to get the check? Even if the food was magical, such slowness can kill all the excitement. You are tempted to get up and leave after 30 minutes of pleading to get your money.

I’ll admit, I didn’t have an immediate “epiphany” either. I remember being struck by a business partner whose attitude to interaction with clients could be characterized as “whatever it takes”. Whether it was getting a multimillion-dollar tranche from an investor for our PE/VC fund or hundreds of thousands of dollars from a potential apartment buyer from our development company, my partner did everything he could to create a VIP experience for the client. He was ruthless with himself and our team as he removed the slightest hindrance to the client’s desire to buy something from us. From interest to decision making and then payment, the process should be perfect and seamless, as if it didn’t exist.

Of course, that’s not your competitive advantage. It’s your core product that creates the super-value to the customer. But such a “trifle” is, first, a hygiene factor, which at the highest level is a must. Second, you save customers time, and the more premium the service, the more it is valued. Thirdly, it is symbolic, because as you are in small things, so are you in everything else.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Strategy in Uncertainty /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown artist

Some of my articles pass unnoticed by readers, even though I have put my soul or deep insight into them. Other articles seem to me to be just good, but they cause a powerful resonance. Does this mean that one can’t adequately evaluate oneself? Probably. But I think there’s another reason.

The world around us is complex, dynamic and unpredictable. Guessing its vector seems to me a dangerous game of the arrogant mind. In the face of high uncertainty, an Options Strategy seems more productive. This is when you sow many promising seeds in many different places. Which of them will sprout is not your concern. Work honestly and you will have a harvest. Of course, you get rid of the spoiled seeds and bypass the hopeless rocks. But for the rest, having done your best, you humbly rely on fate. It will surprise you suddenly, but more often in a favorable way.

I think Seth Godin said: “At least I’m consistent.” In the sense that no matter how weak or strong his particular post may be, the reader can have confidence in Seth’s Process that creates these publications. Such reliability is valuable in itself in the chaos of today’s world. For if each of us in our place is a strong beacon, then, supported by one another, we can confidently weather any storm.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Not about glasses /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

I used to have my favorite eyewear brand Lindberg. The company was founded on the principles of Danish design in 1986 by architect Henrik Lindberg and his father, optometrist Paul-Jorn. Thus a unique combination of architectural design and eye comfort occurred in the product. I accidentally tried the glasses on in an optician’s shop in Barcelona and couldn’t take them off. Ultra lightweight, thanks to the titanium frame. Almost invisible, they added a curious touch to my face.

For several years I enjoyed the perfect glasses-they kind of are and aren't. But everything ends one day. My glasses broke, too. Whoever I turned to, in Ukraine or abroad, no one could fix them. I wore many stylish frames, but they were incomparable. So 12 years went by.

Recently I've been wondering if I need any of the material things and realized that I don't. Except for these glasses (four-eyes will understand). Of course, the manufacturer has discontinued the frames. There are a couple on Ebay, but in different colors. On impulse, I googled for craftsmen. One habitually chagrined, "Not possible. It's titanium." But Master Mirza was reassuring: “No problem. Bring it in.” He has a contact at the factory.

Today I picked up the points — they're perfect. But this case struck me as the extent to which my life depends on my assumptions. I went along with the false belief of most "pros". And yet all these years I had the solution at my fingertips. So the problem is in me. But so is the solution.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

The Burden /  by Alexander Lyadov

Many entrepreneurs complain about routine fatigue. The phrase “I want to get out of day-to-day operations” has already become a cliché. Hiring “star” top managers brings no relief, because the founder ends up carrying both the business and the star on his back. But the belief in getting rid of the shackles is strong. The founder is regularly seduced by novelties, fashionable in his circle, that promise, “Do X and paradise will come!”. From buying ERP systems to creating a board of directors, the founder seems to have tried everything. Each false start fills the heart with cynicism while the fatigue grows.

If some behavior is persistently repeated, it means the person needs it for something. The impossibility of letting go means the fear of losing some value. What value exactly, the founder may not know. For one founder, the solution is to neutralize what the real or imagined fear is based on. For another, questioning the value would be helpful — maybe it is someone else’s and not one’s own. And for the third, the breakthrough will occur after the vector of personal meaning is clarified. This is when the value in question, like a toy on a Christmas tree, is placed in the hierarchy of values where it should be.

Even a cursory glance reveals a variety of reasons for the “day-to-day operations” problem. Therefore, there is no single solution for everyone. You have to look carefully at the particular business and personality of the founder, not trying to squeeze uniqueness into a template. This is both a science and an art. Executive coaching, Gestalt therapy or MBA courses do not teach this. What matters is the synthesis of a variety of disciplines, modalities, and businesses, taking place in the catalytic reactor of reflection on the experience of life.

When I was a co-founder and CEO myself, I, unfortunately, did not know such an expert, though I desperately needed one. He would have helped me avoid unnecessary pitfalls and disasters. More importantly, he would have helped me reach my desired future 10 to 15 years earlier. The best startups grow out of the acute needs of the founders. Perhaps that is how my business therapy was born.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

The heavier the better? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Six months ago I accidentally bought myself two maces, weighing 7 kg (15 lbs) and 9 kg (20 lbs). At first it was difficult to train. When I was learning the amplitude movements even the smaller of the maces threatened to hurt my joints. Gradually I got used to it and now rotate the mace dozens of times. The other day I picked up a heavier one and was surprised. It turned out that the heavier one was even more comfortable to work with than the lighter one. How so?

The point is that the correct execution of exercises requires efforts only at certain areas of the trajectory. For the rest, the mace does everything by itself. In the beginning, I lift it over my head, like in the epic Highlander series. Falling behind my back, the mace makes a semicircle from shoulder to shoulder. At the end, I intensify its movement with my arms (or rather my whole body) and, voila, the mace is in front of me again. The beginner tries to control the mace and lead it by force. Because of this, he does not join, but fights it. With experience comes an understanding of why the Japanese swordsman Musashi wrote that "the sword must become an extension of the hand.

As children, we loved heavy swings for the fact that from a certain point we could relax and enjoy them while they moved themselves for a long time. So too, the weight of a heavier mace kind of helps me by accelerating faster and stretching my musculo-ligament apparatus better.

Building a business and exercising with mace have a lot in common. The hardest part of starting a business is getting it off the ground. Especially if the entrepreneur is a novice. But then, as it gets bigger, the business begins to sort of accelerate itself. And if at first the founder worked 24/7/365, then later should free up time for rest and reflection. If for some reason it doesn’t get easier, it’s worth asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.