Local redundancy /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

A lot of problems in life arise because of a phenomenon that I call “local redundancy”. I remember a few years ago, in jiu-jitsu, my finger joints began to ache unbearably. I started every training session by building an “exoskeleton” of band-aids for each finger. These “crutches” helped only partially.

Analyzing the reason, I realized that during fights I clung too tightly to the lapels of other people’s kimonos. Either because I didn’t want to let go of a position I had already lost, or because I tried to perform techniques solely by using my arms, I overstretched my fingers. A dangerous asymmetry emerged as a consequence of my opponent’s explosive effort with his whole body against my ten fingers. According to science, the destruction of material under overstress is the logical outcome. Having found the “root of the evil,” I began to involve my legs and back more often in the attack, as well as to let go of what could not be held. Pretty quickly the pain went away, and I forgot about the ritual of “mummifying” my fingers.

It’s the same in business. A top manager tries to solve an acute company problem with just his department, without calling for help from his colleagues. Or the founder’s brain is already exploding from the excessive operational routine, but he keeps saying, “No one will do it better than me”. Or it is high time for the company to part with the old one and find a new business model, because the market has changed and there is no future for the familiar technology/approach/product. Local redundancy always leads to trauma — the company loses an anchor client because of a top manager’s mistake, the owner burns out and loses interest in his business, and the weakened company is taken over by competitors.

The Buddha said: “Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is”. Sometimes important truths enter us faster through the gates of the body rather than the mind. That’s why I love Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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Problems with your partner? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Everyone wants certainty, security and guarantees. After all, the world around us is an inexhaustible source of bitter and disastrous change. Entrepreneurs, too, want to stand their ground against the chaos of their industry, their country and the world. But sometimes this desire does them harm.

For example, when the founder clings to the terms of an outdated partnership agreement. It seems that he is right when he makes a claim: “I work 24 hours a day in the business, and you live two years abroad, receiving dividends on time. But we have equal shares, and you want to influence my decisions as before”. This is still a positive scenario, meaning that the person has a conscience, and between them there is trust, allowing them to voice what has boiled over inside. Often business is just quietly taken over.

But if you discern the spirit behind the letter of the agreement, it may not be the "plowman and the freeloader"that is the problem. Why, after a dozen years of successful cooperation, did one of the partners begin to lose interest in the business? Why did such a large company never form a professional team, and why was the founder involved in the operation as if it were a startup? Why, when disagreements grew over business strategy, did both pretend that everything was OK?

These and other "Why?" remind us that partnership is not so much a contract as it is a process. And this process adds value only if each participant is aware of the indispensability of the other's contribution. But everything changes - the context, the industry, the company, and the individual. Therefore, business, like an albatross in the wind, should not freeze the tilt of its wings. The dynamics of the process require periodic renegotiation of agreements. Legal documents, like a photograph or a video, try to capture real life, but in vain. The snapshot remains, but life has already moved on.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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What is your gift? /  by Alexander Lyadov

I am usually quite quick to see the peculiarity of the person in front of me. This is important, for example, in the context of a founder’s query about a lack of energy, loss of interest in the business, mediation of conflict, or the proverbial resting of the head on the “glass ceiling". Of course, I ask a number of additional questions, but rather to test my hypothesis and not to mess things up. This kind of diagnosis is especially impressive by contrast when it is not at all obvious to the person what he or she is naturally good at. Sometimes there are even laughter or tears, so fundamental is the insight into a greater understanding of oneself. The moment when a client’s eyes flash with joy is one of the most grateful moments in my work.

But I have no credit for this ability because it came from a combination of my nature and nurture. The first decade of my career was spent in the advertising industry during its tumultuous formative phase, a side effect of which was a high turnover of people. I had to conduct hundreds of interviews in order to urgently find people for the expanding team or to close the gap caused by the departure. For the second decade, now in the investment industry, I sought out and hired those who formed the teams — CEOs, COOs, СTOs, etc. The sheer number and variety of people has treated my diagnostic ability like a sharpener improves a pencil.

Ironically, my gift is a consequence of a curse. For years I've been desperately trying to figure out who I am and what I'm for. Unfortunately, it was all in vain. At times, there was a sense of abandonment and longing. All that remained was the belief that there was a way out of that labyrinth. One day I suddenly had the insight that I was a guide, an “in-between” and that my function was to help others understand their talent, inclination, potential, spark, and giftedness. So the “40 years wandering in the wilderness” made sense. Judging by my clients' testimonials, the grueling search for myself has turned a trivial log into a valuable tool.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Desirable inefficiency /  by Alexander Lyadov

Any new activity looks confusing and unmanageable at first. All the elements seem equally important and tear your attention to shreds. Not knowing where to expect a catch, the vulnerable mind flinches nervously at every hint and rustle. Muscles are constantly in hypertension to avoid irreparable mistakes. Obviously, during this period, your energy — physiological, mental, and spiritual — is siphoning out of every crevice for nothing. In short, your activities are insanely inefficient.

Many people are not ready to accept this fact. That is why, in addition to fear of the unknown, they are not ready to start anything new. It is especially evident in business, when large organizations make loud statements, spend huge money on R&D and BizDev activities, but have no real innovations and breakthrough solutions in the end. The fact is that by the time businesses have become big, the bulk of executives and employees are professionals in raising specific efficiencies to the second decimal place.

In their worldview, inefficiency is blatant heresy that must be mercilessly scorched with purging fire. Not surprisingly, for them, exploring novelty without guarantees of quick and predictable results is not an investment, but a throwing away of limited funds. Large companies tend to get tired of the "insolubility" of this dilemma and are forced to buy up one startup after another at exorbitant prices.

However, if you understand the fundamental difference in behavior in unfamiliar territory as compared to known territory, the loss of efficiency is not a problem, because there is a value more important by many orders of magnitude. All true entrepreneurs know this "secret". By the way, the increase in efficiency in the initial phase can be exponential, if you consciously slow down, use the minimum load and learn to distinguish between primary and secondary, function and form, figuratively speaking, good and evil.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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Fear /  by Alexander Lyadov

“You are what you fear”. Once I have heard this paradoxical thought, I can no longer erase it from my “hard drive”. Now anything that provokes in me a spontaneous reaction of horror or fear is next questioned, “Is this really me?”. At first, the thought seems so ridiculous that I want to throw it in the trash. But as the number of cases I’ve looked at grows, I realize, “Hmm, there’s something there”.

What we fear the most is what we don’t understand. Everyone remembers how, as a child, some friend used to tell stories about the “black hand” and how painful it was to come home at night. Of course, what is the “black hand” specifically, was not specified. The child’s heightened imagination gave the object its own creepy details. The more amorphous, strange and mysterious the source of fear, the greater its paralyzing power. The absence of clear contours, familiar categories, and identifying marks means that, potentially, the threatening shadow is cast by something that longs to tear, chew, and digest you personally and all that is dear to you.

There are universal things that scare most people. But there is a remarkable variation in reactions to the rest. Some people break into a cold sweat at the mere mention of X, while others don’t see X at all. Some are obsessed with “dangerous” Y, sniffing it out, looking for it everywhere, and, of course, finding it. Some cannot sleep peacefully at the thought that somewhere out there in the world there is a nightmarish Z.

The aforementioned idea indicates that the one who fears Z is himself Z deep inside, but rejects it. Without being integrated, this aspect of the personality remains misunderstood and unrecognized and, like the hound of Baskervilles, is forced to howl longingly in the swamp at night, terrifying the master of the castle. And yet he might have been tamed and trained to guard the inhabitants from wolves.

Assuming this thought to be true, a careful examination of your fears is the way to multiply true riches — the knowledge of how much more you are than you have always thought you were.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Cyanide /  by Alexander Lyadov

“There’s only one pill that works for everything all at once — potassium cyanide,” the doctor wisely pointed out at an appointment today. She and I were discussing the astonishing request of many people for a doctor to cure them instantly, despite their unwillingness to stop eating junk food, abusing alcohol, not exercising and smoking too much. They practically say, “Doctor, just give me one white pill,” so that, like in a computer game, they can be born again and dive back into their usual pleasures.

If something in our lives exists, it means we need it for something. And it doesn’t matter whether we like it or not. Function determines form, not the other way around. So of course we can try to heal, strengthen or give crutches to a limping body, soul or mind. But that pull inside, which destroys the harmony of movement, will not go away, and will increasingly undermine the whole mechanism. In this sense, it is impossible to keep a person from committing suicide, if that is what he has decided to do. All his creative energy and ingenuity he will direct to bypass your “barriers”, just to get to the other side of the river Styx.

The same phenomenon is observed in business. The annoyed founder describes a string of negative symptoms in his company. And then, like a bedridden king in a fairy tale, he expects some magician to bring him a cup of the water of life. Unfortunately, no “potion” will change the situation in his business. Until the founder finds the reason why he destroys with his left hand what he then tries to heal with his right. The bad news is that it requires starting the analysis with himself, which is difficult and unpleasant. The good news is that it doesn’t require millions of dollars of investment, sophisticated software, or replacing the team. All it takes is researching and understanding that inner pull that strives for the good of the founder, but actually does him evil.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Master Plant /  by Alexander Lyadov

In the documentary series “How to Change Your Mind” about the role of psychedelics, journalist Michael Pollan mentions tobacco in addition to LSD, psilocybin, MDMA and mescaline. There are 8 million premature deaths worldwide each year from smoking, yet indigenous peoples have used tobacco for thousands of years to clear the mind and cure mental illnesses. When I went through the Ayahuasca ritual in Peru, everyone smoked tobacco grown in the jungle there. The smoke was supposed to ward off evil spirits. I’m not sure about demons, but during the hardest moments of the ceremonies, smoking did help me come to my senses. Some participants were prescribed specially prepared tobacco leaves as medicine by the shaman. There were also vegetable gardens on the retreat grounds where many plants were growing, including coca and cannabis.

The attitude of the Indians toward all these plants is different from that of the tourists in Amsterdam. There is no excitement, no anticipation of enjoyment, no teenage smirks. On the contrary, their attitude is reserved and respectful, for it is not just a “herb,” but a Master Plant. The urban dweller cringes contemptuously when he hears such “heresy,” saying it is the naive prejudice of primitive people stuck in the past. What knowledge can the “flower” convey to him? That is, until his pride is trampled by a personal catastrophe, which all the modern progress in free morality, philosophy, medicine, and technology could not help him cope with. Tragedy awakens humility. So there is a chance to find a nugget in the mud.

It is encouraging to see prominent scientists today trying to understand the mechanism of action of substances and rituals that helped our ancestors for perhaps millions of years. In the end, it’s not about a particular phenomenon, but about our ability to use it for our own benefit or detriment. The value is knowing the function, context and limits of anything, whether it is nuclear fusion or DMT.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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No hindrance /  by Alexander Lyadov

Legendary Canadian curler Vic Peters

Yesterday a customer asked his CFO to arrange payment for me. Today the CFO sent me a message saying, “Thank you for the paperwork! That was the most constructive and super fast interaction I’ve had with a contractor in 30 years).” It was nice and unexpected. After all, I didn’t really do anything. Just exchanged our companies details right away, and then promptly prepared and sent the invoice, contract, etc. for signature.

If customers want to pay you, you shouldn’t put obstacles in their way. Common sense, right? But from this experienced CFO’s observation, not everyone is adept at common sense in business. How often have you been stuck in a restaurant, waiting for a long time to get the check? Even if the food was magical, such slowness can kill all the excitement. You are tempted to get up and leave after 30 minutes of pleading to get your money.

I’ll admit, I didn’t have an immediate “epiphany” either. I remember being struck by a business partner whose attitude to interaction with clients could be characterized as “whatever it takes”. Whether it was getting a multimillion-dollar tranche from an investor for our PE/VC fund or hundreds of thousands of dollars from a potential apartment buyer from our development company, my partner did everything he could to create a VIP experience for the client. He was ruthless with himself and our team as he removed the slightest hindrance to the client’s desire to buy something from us. From interest to decision making and then payment, the process should be perfect and seamless, as if it didn’t exist.

Of course, that’s not your competitive advantage. It’s your core product that creates the super-value to the customer. But such a “trifle” is, first, a hygiene factor, which at the highest level is a must. Second, you save customers time, and the more premium the service, the more it is valued. Thirdly, it is symbolic, because as you are in small things, so are you in everything else.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Strategy in Uncertainty /  by Alexander Lyadov

Unknown artist

Some of my articles pass unnoticed by readers, even though I have put my soul or deep insight into them. Other articles seem to me to be just good, but they cause a powerful resonance. Does this mean that one can’t adequately evaluate oneself? Probably. But I think there’s another reason.

The world around us is complex, dynamic and unpredictable. Guessing its vector seems to me a dangerous game of the arrogant mind. In the face of high uncertainty, an Options Strategy seems more productive. This is when you sow many promising seeds in many different places. Which of them will sprout is not your concern. Work honestly and you will have a harvest. Of course, you get rid of the spoiled seeds and bypass the hopeless rocks. But for the rest, having done your best, you humbly rely on fate. It will surprise you suddenly, but more often in a favorable way.

I think Seth Godin said: “At least I’m consistent.” In the sense that no matter how weak or strong his particular post may be, the reader can have confidence in Seth’s Process that creates these publications. Such reliability is valuable in itself in the chaos of today’s world. For if each of us in our place is a strong beacon, then, supported by one another, we can confidently weather any storm.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Not about glasses /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

I used to have my favorite eyewear brand Lindberg. The company was founded on the principles of Danish design in 1986 by architect Henrik Lindberg and his father, optometrist Paul-Jorn. Thus a unique combination of architectural design and eye comfort occurred in the product. I accidentally tried the glasses on in an optician’s shop in Barcelona and couldn’t take them off. Ultra lightweight, thanks to the titanium frame. Almost invisible, they added a curious touch to my face.

For several years I enjoyed the perfect glasses-they kind of are and aren't. But everything ends one day. My glasses broke, too. Whoever I turned to, in Ukraine or abroad, no one could fix them. I wore many stylish frames, but they were incomparable. So 12 years went by.

Recently I've been wondering if I need any of the material things and realized that I don't. Except for these glasses (four-eyes will understand). Of course, the manufacturer has discontinued the frames. There are a couple on Ebay, but in different colors. On impulse, I googled for craftsmen. One habitually chagrined, "Not possible. It's titanium." But Master Mirza was reassuring: “No problem. Bring it in.” He has a contact at the factory.

Today I picked up the points — they're perfect. But this case struck me as the extent to which my life depends on my assumptions. I went along with the false belief of most "pros". And yet all these years I had the solution at my fingertips. So the problem is in me. But so is the solution.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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The Burden /  by Alexander Lyadov

Many entrepreneurs complain about routine fatigue. The phrase “I want to get out of day-to-day operations” has already become a cliché. Hiring “star” top managers brings no relief, because the founder ends up carrying both the business and the star on his back. But the belief in getting rid of the shackles is strong. The founder is regularly seduced by novelties, fashionable in his circle, that promise, “Do X and paradise will come!”. From buying ERP systems to creating a board of directors, the founder seems to have tried everything. Each false start fills the heart with cynicism while the fatigue grows.

If some behavior is persistently repeated, it means the person needs it for something. The impossibility of letting go means the fear of losing some value. What value exactly, the founder may not know. For one founder, the solution is to neutralize what the real or imagined fear is based on. For another, questioning the value would be helpful — maybe it is someone else’s and not one’s own. And for the third, the breakthrough will occur after the vector of personal meaning is clarified. This is when the value in question, like a toy on a Christmas tree, is placed in the hierarchy of values where it should be.

Even a cursory glance reveals a variety of reasons for the “day-to-day operations” problem. Therefore, there is no single solution for everyone. You have to look carefully at the particular business and personality of the founder, not trying to squeeze uniqueness into a template. This is both a science and an art. Executive coaching, Gestalt therapy or MBA courses do not teach this. What matters is the synthesis of a variety of disciplines, modalities, and businesses, taking place in the catalytic reactor of reflection on the experience of life.

When I was a co-founder and CEO myself, I, unfortunately, did not know such an expert, though I desperately needed one. He would have helped me avoid unnecessary pitfalls and disasters. More importantly, he would have helped me reach my desired future 10 to 15 years earlier. The best startups grow out of the acute needs of the founders. Perhaps that is how my business therapy was born.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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The heavier the better? /  by Alexander Lyadov

 

Six months ago I accidentally bought myself two maces, weighing 7 kg (15 lbs) and 9 kg (20 lbs). At first it was difficult to train. When I was learning the amplitude movements even the smaller of the maces threatened to hurt my joints. Gradually I got used to it and now rotate the mace dozens of times. The other day I picked up a heavier one and was surprised. It turned out that the heavier one was even more comfortable to work with than the lighter one. How so?

The point is that the correct execution of exercises requires efforts only at certain areas of the trajectory. For the rest, the mace does everything by itself. In the beginning, I lift it over my head, like in the epic Highlander series. Falling behind my back, the mace makes a semicircle from shoulder to shoulder. At the end, I intensify its movement with my arms (or rather my whole body) and, voila, the mace is in front of me again. The beginner tries to control the mace and lead it by force. Because of this, he does not join, but fights it. With experience comes an understanding of why the Japanese swordsman Musashi wrote that "the sword must become an extension of the hand.

As children, we loved heavy swings for the fact that from a certain point we could relax and enjoy them while they moved themselves for a long time. So too, the weight of a heavier mace kind of helps me by accelerating faster and stretching my musculo-ligament apparatus better.

Building a business and exercising with mace have a lot in common. The hardest part of starting a business is getting it off the ground. Especially if the entrepreneur is a novice. But then, as it gets bigger, the business begins to sort of accelerate itself. And if at first the founder worked 24/7/365, then later should free up time for rest and reflection. If for some reason it doesn’t get easier, it’s worth asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Groundhog Day /  by Alexander Lyadov

Life has become strange for all of us. Because my wife and children are abroad, mine, for example, now resembles "Groundhog Day". Days repeat like a broken record: walking the dog, exercising, writing articles, helping entrepreneurs, housekeeping, sleeping. At times this cyclical nature pisses me off, but then I get over it. The surrounding context can't be quickly changed.

In the movie, Phil Connors, a cynical weatherman at a TV station, gets stuck in a time loop. No matter what he does, his life is reset. Except for him, those around him don't remember anything from the day they lived yesterday. At first, Phil is surprised and then enjoys the situation — gluttony, fornication, robbery, coterie, etc. Eventually, he becomes desperate and tries to commit suicide. But in vain — there is no way out of the impasse.

Out of desperation, Phil begins to work on himself. He learns French. Takes music lessons. Learns to make ice sculptures. He does good deeds. Once at a ball, Phil becomes a well-deserved star: everyone thanks him for his kindness, he jazzes up the stage, so that even his colleague Rita is forced to admit that Phil has changed. The evening ends, they fall asleep, and in the morning they wake up to a new day.

The insight here is that nothing around will change as long as we are the same. One cannot escape from oneself to another family, industry or country. The repetition of events makes us accept reality as it is. Despair awakens vitality. A timid openness to novelty emerges. New experiences transform us. The world changes in our wake.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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Why turn off your phone? /  by Alexander Lyadov

During transformational sessions with clients, I usually suggest not only putting cell phones in airplane mode but also removing them from the table. This is not an attempt to impose authoritarian control, as a freedom-loving tech founder might think. Since the first decade of my career was spent in advertising, a penchant for minimizing restrictions is in my own blood. A long time ago, I read a study that the mere presence of a phone on a desk impairs the quality of a conversation by about 30%. An unwillingness to separate from the world prevents one from being in the here and now. This finding is consistent with my experience in various fields.

For example, I’ve noticed that when my dinner is nothing special, I listen to my favorite podcast at the same time. That way, along with the nutrients, I get a set of new ideas. But if something particularly delicious is prepared, then distracting myself from eating is a mistake. As long as the experience is unparalleled, you want to enjoy it to the fullest. Otherwise, the investment in peculiarity loses its meaning. Why interrupt a moment of illumination, ecstasy, or peace? This is masochism.

If a potential business partner assures you of the importance of the joint venture, but is late for a meeting, does not respond to emails for a long time and is distracted during the discussion of the deal, the partnership is not a priority for him. If the founder dreams of radically increasing the profits of his company, engaging in strategy rather than routine, and make an “exit” on a premium valuation, but is not ready to forget about the phone during the session until the next coffee break, then what does that tell you? When it comes to something of value to you, it’s time to make a choice — either it’s worth your hundred percent attention, or it isn’t in fact.

The best way to understand the significance of something is to assess the size of the sacrifice made. What are you willing to do for your desired goal?

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Why is there no envy? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Shevchenko University, Chemical faculty, Kyiv, 1995

An attentive reader of yesterday’s article might ask, “But why aren’t you jealous of your clients’ accomplishments?” First, because their success is also mine. I often say that the bearer of the problem within has also the solution. Like a catalyst, I help to speed up the “chemical reaction,” to guide it along the optimal path, without the need for high pressure and heat. Thus, the search for insight, which otherwise could take months or even years, with my participation happens by an order of magnitude faster. Although the founder builds his business himself, there is also my contribution to the growth of his value.

Secondly, I have already been there and done it. I’ve had the experience of founding, scaling, investing, and selling various companies. There were many sleepless nights, worries, disappointing losses and victories as well. After trying myself in probably all the major roles, I realized what was rather alien to me and what was organic.

Still, the main reason is that I have a business I love. Client businesses are very different — FinTech, Education, eSport or Blockchain — and each one is interesting to me in its own way. My pleasure zone, however, is the hunt for insights. I can only get the most of them as a business therapist. I admire the founders because they are able to just do it. And my only desire is to understand. Apparently, there’s a reason I got into the analytical chemistry department 30 years ago. My main function is to try to see the point in everything. I just can’t not do it. Or rather, when I do something else, the gift turns against me, becoming a curse. But when I perform the function properly, my life becomes meaningful. There can be no envy of others when you do what you are called to do.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

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"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
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Who do I trust with my success? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Who do I trust with my success?
I love it when a client tells me about his (or her) achievements. After all, we both know the trajectory of his business, from the initial state A when we met to the coveted state B where the founder wants to take the business in a few years. This shared vision brings us closer together, making us follow the hot trail like two hound dogs.

It is difficult for a founder to discuss problems in his business with a stranger only in the beginning, before any real familiarity has occurred. Later, as trust grows and the first results are achieved, the founder is ready to share almost everything. From my experience with my therapist, I know how grounding and liberating it is to have a regular opportunity to openly discuss with another person those dilemmas that are bothering me. It’s like after motorcycle rides in the fields, one person goes into the bathhouse and leaves there reborn.

Surprisingly, it’s much harder to tell the other person about your accomplishments. Experienced people know that nothing generates as much envy and hatred in people as your objective success. No one will admit it. At best, they’ll put on a polite smile or click “Like”. At worst, you will be subtly devalued or vilified behind your back. In fact, there are very few people who are genuinely happy about our success. Parents? Not everyone. Friends? It depends. Spouses? If you’re lucky. Partners? At a certain stage. When success is still fragile, say, in a new endeavor important to you, the role of the Other is hard to overestimate. As two alchemists, you participate in the mystery of the transmutation of matter and spirit. Or, as gardeners, you create a lovely Japanese garden out of a wasteland.

No, it's not about me — you don't necessarily need me. Let it be a board member, mentor, therapist or coach, but it's important to have someone you want to share with when you're doing really well!

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

How to accelerate insight? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Where exactly the insight comes from is unclear, but when it happens, you are changed forever. For days, months, or even years, the problem seemed impregnable, tormenting you, and undermining you. And then suddenly it evaporated, like a nightmare. Awakening is an apt metaphor, for some dreams feel more realistic than ordinary life. We are perplexed and even angry as to why such an obvious solution was overlooked, even though it was always flickering in the periphery, crawling under our feet, or sitting quietly on our foreheads like forgotten glasses.

Usually at that moment, so much energy is released that you want to jump. However, it makes sense to pause and meditate on the difference between the states before and after, and try to notice how you managed to make this creative flip. Even if the nature of the insight (for now) remains a mystery, you can remember the conditions that facilitated and, conversely, hindered it. Analyzing the most shattering insights for my way of thinking, such conditions are, at a minimum, suffering, humility, and external push.

I don’t recall the reward coming for nothing, without hard work beforehand. After the fact, though, it is clear that not a single drop has been shed in vain. But no matter how much work I did, the entrance to novelty was always blocked by pride. According to Thomas Aquinas, it is “an immoderate desire for superiority”. For example, the conviction, “I can do this on my own”. Since insight, by definition, gives what we do not have, why would it arise within Perfection? The mind finds itself trapped in a golden cage that it has created itself.

From my days as a chemistry student at the university, I remember an experiment with a saturated solution of some salt. It was enough to lightly tap the flask with a glass rod, and the process of crystallization began rapidly and spectacularly before our eyes. A sudden change of context, an emergency, or an accurate question asked in time, can be the catalyst for a person’s insight.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

How many assets do you need? /  by Alexander Lyadov

Does a person need a lot of wealth, assets, or things? It depends on who is going to manage them. You can’t just “have” a car and leave it in the parking lot under the house. Eventually, the alarm will discharge the battery, the wheels will inflate and the oil will leak out, and the super-car will turn into a motionless metal. So you have to pay someone to inspect and walk your horse regularly. Otherwise, you won’t be able to spontaneously decide to saddle up and ride it Even with houseplants, it’s not all that simple. The watering routine is a given. But I know stories of people who couldn’t evacuate in time during the war and put themselves in danger because they couldn’t abandon their beloved flowers.

A business partner of mine used to say, “Assets are not a privilege, but a burden,” and he was right. Entropy works relentlessly against us. Weeds, rust, malice, or people’s laziness destroy everything we have. Even a fast-growing and profitable company, left unsupervised, soon begins to stall, falter, and wobble. As a result, it inevitably weakens and lags behind its competitors. In the marketplace, as in the savannah, he who has strayed from the herd becomes easy prey for predators of all stripes.

We tend to see shining examples of radical increases in business valye, but we discount the considerable but imperceptible effort it takes to simply keep assets as they are. Founders who are obsessed with novelty suffer from this in particular. They get too many promising ideas or projects in their basket, and then they don’t have time to walk around and water them. They achieve a lot but then lose just as much. However, sooner or later a revelation comes — in order to multiply something, you must first save it.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

The phenomenon of closed doors /  by Alexander Lyadov

Photographer unknown

 

Recent sessions with founders, where we discovered new opportunities for growth in their businesses, brought to mind the phenomenon of closed doors. The bottom line is that any change, both tiny and tectonic, is ambivalent in nature. That is, with one hand it denies access to something familiar and dear. And with the other hand, it invites us somewhere else. But we, by inertia, look at the closed door and wait for something. And even if we can hear the sea breeze and the cries of seagulls coming from the door, which is open nearby, and, in short, we feel prosperity and freedom there, we keep pulling the old handle, tearing off the bell and banging our heads against the oak planks.

One reason for this clinging to the past is that the change happened not at our will, but against it, staggering us like a snake stung from an ambush. Perhaps the current status quo did not suit us, and we even dreamed of beginning to change things somehow. But not so radically, not so rapidly, and certainly not at such a high cost.

I remember how about 20 years ago in Odessa I decided to do a bungee jump. Standing on the edge of a construction crane site, I could see the wobbly crowns of the pine trees and my friends below, looking like ants. Taking the decisive step was insanely difficult. Suddenly the bungee workers yelled, “Three! Two! One! Go!” And I jumped, but formally, for I understood nothing. So the next day I went and jumped again. This time on my own. And I got the full range of impressions, which I will remember forever. Mechanically, there is no difference between the jumps. Even the individual is the same. But in the first case, my experience was confusion, regret, and emptiness. And in the second, a sense of flight, gratitude and elation.

Voluntarily accepting the inevitable is a paradoxical move to transform any minus into a plus. Because change happens all the time, rest assured that new doors are waiting for you.

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.

Beneficial Boredom /  by Alexander Lyadov

What happens when a child is left alone with boredom? It seems to parents as if he will never get off the couch again. “No” — says an experienced therapist, “what the child will start doing in the void is his vocation. One will draw, another will look at illustrations in books, a third will build a constructor, and a fourth will watch birds in the sky.

The crucial point is that it should be boredom to the fullest, from which there is no escape. That is, there should not be cheating — a phone with Tik Tok, as is now ubiquitous, or a movie in the theater, as in my childhood. When a child is completely exhausted, he’s bound to do something. I vividly remember summer vacations in my grandparents’ Kyiv apartment, when I spent my days alone reading Mayne Reid, leafing through a selection of the satirical magazine Crocodile, and surreptitiously studying my grandfather’s secretaire. As a military diplomat, from his trips to the Middle East my grandfather had brought back many amazing things that took my breath away. Literature, humor, paradoxes, and the hunt for novelty — even then it was clear what interested me in life. It is a pity that there was no one who noticed this vector and prompted me at that time.

There is nothing accidental in this process. Life hacks out each of us in a very peculiar way, like Pinocchio from a log. And, like him, it is not enough to be curious, energetic and extraordinary tomboy. It is important to know yourself, both the dark and the bright side, and then learn to live harmoniously with this “stranger. The trouble is that today both children and adults are afraid of boredom like fire. And that is why they rush to distract themselves by doing something. In this endless slide through the waves of insignificant meetings, chores, Facebook and YouTube unnoticed passes a lifetime. But sometimes there are sobering moments when one flinches at the question, “Who am I? And what am I here for?”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

You can help Ukraine defend itself and the World from Russian aggression here.

”Who are you and what do you do?"
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

"I have an extremely important business decision to make. Can you help me?
Reserve a time on my calendar that is convenient for you to meet with me. We'll clarify your request and discuss options for how you can help.