Alexander Lyadov

Demand for Real / December 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In winter, you won’t find fruits and vegetables native to your region. Sure, the supermarket sells things that look the part—same name, color, texture and shape. Polished produce sits on the shelf, every piece identical, like it’s been selected for a show.

But the moment you bite into, say, a tomato, it’s obvious: “Ugh, not even close.”

And suddenly, you’re nostalgic for your youth, for that summer garden, and the freshly picked Bull’s Heart. Oh, that lovely misshapen form, its hefty weight, dense flesh, and sweet taste!

It’s like whispering, awkward and quiet, for the first time: “I love you.”

Authenticity is beautiful, first for its essence, then for its form.

But artificial things usually get it backward. And that makes sense—form is easy to copy and mass-produce, but capturing the essence? That’s the real challenge. What’s more, when something seems too perfect, it probably isn’t.

Because what is your life? It’s a constant adaptation to the surprises the world throws at you and tossing your surprises back in return. In this whirlwind, what matters are forms that fit the here and now, not flawless ones.

Digital technologies, especially artificial intelligence, can multiply every known form a billionfold. That means the demand for authenticity will grow exponentially.

The paradox is that to thrive, all we have to do is be ourselves.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

Gold in the Mud / December 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The further we go, the more obvious it becomes how harmful social media is. Like strong alcohol, if there’s any benefit to it, it’s mainly for forgetting your problems for a while.

Content creators will do anything to grab attention—from staging mean provocations with strangers to outright distorting facts. Sadly, artificial intelligence has become gasoline for this fire.

But every phenomenon has a dual nature.

Even in muddy streams, you can find grains of gold. On Instagram, for instance, I sift through health insights, art, humor, and grappling techniques.

Here’s my current “catch of the day”:

The “Waltz” of judoka @jflojudo
News about protein helping kidneys by @biolayne
Hypnotic photo streams by @loeildelaphotographie
A kaleidoscope of impressions from @art_cage_budapest
Charming family humor from @mikeandjoelle
Kind and innocent pranks by @ayorook

The last creator constantly receives comments like: “I can’t get enough of these videos )),” “So refreshing,” and “bro is spreading happiness.” I can’t help but smile in anticipation whenever I see his latest “question.”

Remember that old debate about whether existence shapes consciousness or vice versa?

These creators prove that a lot depends on us, no matter how bleak, deceitful, or corrupt the environment may seem. There’s always a chance to teach, inspire, or make someone laugh.

These "little things" keep humanity from falling into the abyss.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When Profit Lies / December 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Profit margins are a great metric, but sometimes they lie.

Imagine an entrepreneur sketching a new business idea on a napkin in a café for a potential partner. At this stage, there’s no profit, no revenue, no team, no structure—nothing.

Now, compare that to a solid company, maybe even a market leader. Sophisticated processes, offices worldwide, thousands of employees—and profits so massive they barely fit in the annual report.

Metaphorically, the first case is like a seed planted in rich black soil. The second? A tree stump covered in mushrooms. Outwardly, the stump looks alive and thriving, but inside, it’s dead.

Of course, not every new project will survive. And sometimes, even a large organization can reinvent itself. But that’s not the point here.

Pay attention to the source of life.

A lush appearance shouldn’t blind you to a hollow core. And on the flip side, don’t rush to dismiss what seems insignificant. “Nothing” might just surprise you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Beyond Either-Or / December 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

An infantile mind craves simple answers: yes or no, good or bad, black or white. But just like indulging in sugar or alcohol, the fleeting satisfaction comes at a steep cost later.

Reality, with all its dimensions, punishes those who insist on thinking in 2D.

Take beginner bikers, for example. They tend to slam either the brakes or the gas. On a quiet straightaway, that might work, but not in the city, and not off-road.

To master the art of maneuvering, you must engage the clutch, brakes, and throttle simultaneously—like playing a trumpet.

Every phenomenon is always more complex than your mental image of it. That’s why we suffer when trapped in dilemmas. On one side, there’s X; on the other, Y. Both have their merits. You can’t choose, but you must. And so, we swing wildly between them.

Stress is nothing but a short circuit when the mind can’t decide.

Here’s the thing: the mind sees the world only through what it already knows. Anything beyond that, it ignores entirely.

That’s where you, the master of your mind, must push it—like freeing a stuck motorcycle from the mud.

Paradox (from the Greek paradoxos, meaning “unexpected” or “strange”) refers to a statement or idea that clashes with common sense and seems illogical (Wiki).

Your “wild” mission is to destroy the dilemma—or at least shake it loose.

One way to do that is to step out of the either-or mindset and into both-and. It’s a different way of seeing things, where opposites coexist without conflict. Their tension creates value, not harm.

One day, I might create a course about dilemmas in business and life—how they arise, what drives them, and most importantly, how to manage and resolve them. If this course interests you, let me know: “Yes, and here’s why...”

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Where to Draw Strength? / December 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

When you have plenty of strength, looking down at the ground is good—and necessary. That’s where you’ll find the harvest, the treasures, and the satisfaction of living “here and now.”

But if you’re stuck or feeling weak, it’s time to lift your gaze upward. For each of us, this symbolic act means something different:

For an athlete, it’s straightening your posture in the fight.
For an entrepreneur, it’s recalling the business vision.
For a writer, it’s calling the muse for inspiration.
For an inventor, it’s seeking the paradox.
For a believer, it’s turning to God.

The point is to stop focusing on yourself and step out.

When your tank is full, it’s easy to imagine yourself as the master of the road. It's a different story when the fuel gauge hits zero or, worse, when your car is in a ditch and the nearest town is five hundred miles away in the steppe.

Your weakness reveals where the true source of strength lies.

And that makes sense. A broken system cannot fix itself. It needs the intervention of an Architect, an Engineer, a Creator.

Unfortunately, false beliefs often get in the way—ideas we either cling to too tightly or fail to recognize altogether. Explaining them all would take more than a book.

But the core of these delusions is this: “Only the material is real. The intangible does not exist.”

When the letter denies the spirit, the water of life drains from the body. This is true whether we’re talking about a person, an organization, or an entire nation.

So when you find yourself stuck again, reread this article. The way out is always close. Just lift your gaze.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

When Your Partner Changed / December 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Luck is when several partners come together to build a business. I’ve written before about the advantages and challenges of that.

Covering each other’s weaknesses builds strength and allows everyone to shine.

But years later, one co-founder may feel dissatisfied with another:

"He’s stopped fully engaging in our company’s affairs."
"She’s got other business projects and interests."
"We talk less often now, just to avoid conflict."
"I don’t see what value he brings anymore."
"She’s off on vacation again."

Usually, one assumes the other partner has changed for the worse. In reality, losing interest in the business is just a symptom. The real cause is the partners losing their shared purpose.

At the start, things were simpler—survive and grow, find and keep. Partners understood each other without words. There was no need for clear visions, strategies, priorities, or similar tools.

Years passed, and everything changed—business, team, market, and the partners themselves. Without the habit or a process for discussing a shared future, each partner began building his own.

Disagreements are inevitable when the goals diverge, but the resource (the business) is shared.

What's the solution? If the partners haven't yet resorted to threats or formed secret coalitions, the partnership can still be repaired quickly.

At a minimum, this requires:

Taming pride.
Being willing to listen to the other person.
Knowing your own interests and being able to voice them.
Believing that function defines form, not the other way around.
Understanding what makes a partnership work—and what doesn’t.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Light from Darkness / November 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The worse it gets, the better. That’s the paradox of transformation. Unpleasant, but true.

The old form is gathering its last strength to destroy the new form before it gets stronger.

If it succeeds, the old form becomes a zombie—neither alive nor dead. The status quo is preserved. The forest turns into a zoo, and later, a museum filled with stuffed animals.

This struggle tests the new forms for resilience. The immature ones will give up. Only those who love Life more than themselves will endure. They draw strength from the spirit of change.

The climax of the conflict between forms is inevitable. And the sooner it resolves, the easier it will be for everyone.

The old form is tired and eager to leave but fears and resists what’s best for it. Its mistake lies in identifying with the fading form rather than the spirit that created it. It’s like snow covering the clear tracks of a beast that’s already far, far away.

Without realizing it, the old form provokes the new one to defeat it. In its hysteria, it crosses every imaginable boundary, reaching the point of absurdity. Destructive forces brutally awaken the creative spirit from its long slumber.

“Lux In Tenebris” — “Light from Darkness.”

This phrase comes from the Latin translation of the Gospel of John: “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

Knowing this, we can remain resilient and curious as the darkness temporarily thickens. As poet Robert Frost wrote: "The best way out is always through".

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Vicious cycle? / November 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Turning evil into good is a fascinating business.

Take, for example, how slot machine developers easily hook users. Michael Easter, a professor and writer, calls this cyclical behavior the scarcity loop.

The loop has three parts:

Opportunity to gain something valuable.
Unpredictability of rewards.
Quick repeatability.

This loop is so addictive that it’s embedded into social networks, dating apps, personal finance sites, freelancing platforms, etc.

It’s no wonder we stick to these like ants to maple syrup.

But the issue isn’t who spilled the honey—it’s the “ant’s” natural pull toward pleasure. You can fight and deny that pull all you want, but it won’t go away.

The only way out is to make that harmful factor work for us.

First, understanding the principle makes it easier to break bad habits. Next, let’s define when activity X stops being exciting for us:

X offers little of personal value.
Rewards are fixed in size or rarely vary.
You can only try again after a long delay.

Finally, here’s how to make your important project Y irresistible:

Find a deep, personal meaning in it.
Expand the range of rewards—ideally, make them limitless.
Break the marathon into sprints with clear results.

And that’s why entrepreneurs don’t want regular jobs. Or why they engage in corporate entrepreneurship within the company.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Partnership Paradox / November 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

This morning, I turned off the alarm but lingered for a moment, slipping back into the arms of sleep. A temptation whispered: "Come on, skipping one workout won’t hurt. Your partner will understand."

But since we agreed yesterday, I had to drag myself out of bed.

After sparring, we sat catching our breath and talked. My partner confessed he’d also struggled to show up this morning—and only did it for me.

We both faltered, yet somehow leaned on each other and kept going.

Everyone has weak moments. If not, he wouldn’t be human—he’d be God. Where, when, or why the cracks will open is personal. One weakness often leads to another, and then another...

So how do you protect yourself from slipping into the abyss?

The answer lies in another person—imperfect, just like you.

The thing is, people stumble at different times. When one is weak, the other is strong. And vice versa. They balance each other out.

Even when both are ready to quit, the mere image of the other pulls them back. It’s like a flipped version of the "prisoner's dilemma" in game theory: “How awkward would it be if I gave up and my cool partner didn’t?”

Lucky is the founder who isn’t alone in business. But not everyone can tolerate, much less appreciate, the otherness of a partner. Yet when they do, their venture weathers the storms and keeps growing.

Paradoxically, the perfect machine is built from imperfect parts.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Too Open to Thrive / November 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Some people don’t know what they truly want.

But for others, it’s the opposite—they’re curious about nearly everything.

This trait is called Openness to Experience, one of the Big Five personality dimensions. The IPIP-NEO-PI personality inventory breaks Openness into six facets:

Challenging authority,
Aesthetic sensitivity,
Intellectual curiosity,
Active imagination (fantasy),
Awareness of inner feelings,
Preference for variety (adventurousness).

Sounds appealing, right? Well, it depends on whether you can manage it. I’ve worked with founders whose Openness limited or even wrecked their businesses.

Here’s the problem: an excessive drive for variety leads to indiscriminate choices.

It's like a starving orphan in a bakery, grabbing every pastry, biting into one, then moving on to the next, trying to taste it all.

Clearly, you can’t build a sustainable business like that.

What’s the solution?

You have to help the person set priorities. For that, they need criteria. And criteria come from long-term goals.

Seems simple: just say it all out loud, and voilà!

But here’s the thing—if you do it sincerely, not just formally, it’s a deeply personal question: Why are you here at all?

The answer is as powerful as it is terrifying.

That's why a genuine response is only possible if the person trusts that the question is from someone whose intentions are kind.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Very First Step / November 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Again and again, I witness a fascinating phenomenon.

From the very first meeting, clients feel a sense of relief.

And it’s not because we’re generating solutions—not yet.

For that hour, we talk about the bad, the grim, the downright awful—their problem.

Actually, they do most of the talking. I rarely ask questions; mostly, I just listen.

You’d think that “digging into the wound” would make things worse, right? But no. By the end of the session, their voices brim with the energy to live and create.

What’s the secret?

When the implicit becomes explicit, a “shift” occurs.

This term comes from the psychotherapeutic practice of Focusing. It’s when a person physically feels a positive step forward. Outwardly, it looks like a deep exhale, a release of tension, tears, or laughter.

It's like that moment when you finally remember that important password or name.

The client manages to describe their situation with precision. It’s one thing to know that some deadly threat is lurking in your house; it’s another to find the snake and pin it to the floor with your boot.

Yes, it’s terrifying to make a mistake. You’re sweating bullets, and you don’t have the right tools. This step alone is not sufficient, but it is necessary for liberation.

Want to try an experiment, right here, right now?

Describe what confuses, worries, or keeps you up at night about your business. Be honest—you’re doing this for yourself.

Try to choose words that really capture the essence.

Then, if you’d like, send it to me. Knowing there’s an addressee will make your description more precise. I promise to read it and, of course, keep it confidential. So, shall we bring to light what’s hidden within you?

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What is Your Horizon? / November 25, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

People behave the worst when there’s no horizon in relationships.

That’s why expecting stellar service at a train station café is naive. The endless flow of tired, hurried strangers doesn’t exactly inspire warmth. The seller will never see customers again.

If “Agreeableness” isn’t baked into your personality, you’d start sighing, snapping, and being rude on that job too.

The peak of having no shared future is the “every man for himself” mentality. How many people wouldn’t step on others to get ahead? Only a small percentage.

Now think about this: “Are there many companies with a long-term horizon in their relationships with people?” If the answer is “No,” it’s no surprise there are so many dissatisfied employees, shareholders, and CEOs.

You could blame modern culture, which glorifies project-based work, remote setups, etc. But here’s a critical question: has leadership clearly articulated the future of the business, the one they want to build?

And I’m not talking about vague, lofty words. I mean a pragmatic, precise description of the destination you invite everyone to journey toward.

Leaders who shirk responsibility end up with a garden of problems:

Trouble hiring and retaining talent
Frequent dishonesty
Team conflicts
Low loyalty
Swelling costs
Unhappy customers
Poor returns on capital
Regular kickbacks from contractors
Below-average profits and margins etc.

But if the goal is to create value in business, extend that horizon.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

What is this creature? / November 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

This video explores whether it's truly possible to change yourself.

Take a Labrador and a Belgian Malinois—dogs with similar builds. Yet their reactions to danger couldn't be more different. One sits back and blinks innocently, while the other locks its jaws on the threat with unrelenting force.

Want to turn one into the other? You’d have better luck turning a circle into a square.

Every living organism is designed with a specific purpose. Everything—from muscle fibers to the nervous system—shapes behavior X, not Y or Z.

The more complex a creature, the more freedom of choice it has.

But no one can become just anyone. Life isn't a video game. You can’t morph into a dwarf or change your biological sex.

Even your psychological type remains fairly constant.

For example, Openness to Experience is associated with a more left-oriented and Conscientiousness with a more right-oriented political orientation. Agreeableness may lead to less career success but greater happiness. Extroversion fosters leadership but can also lead to impulsivity.

That said, your personality isn’t fixed like a robot’s.

People have the freedom to decide how much of their potential to bring to life. Imagine you were born with a flute for a body. You can be ashamed of your ‘flaw,’ play timidly in the shower, or captivate the crowd at Carnegie Hall.

That’s why it’s crucial to discover, admit, and love who you are.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Curse of Talent / November 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Talented people often destroy themselves. Why?

Here he is, wandering for ages, taking risks in uncharted lands. By some miracle, he finds treasure and returns home. You’d think he’d settle down and enjoy his success. But no—he bets it all on zero and ends up broke.

Society gasps, “What have you done?!”

They didn’t understand him back then, and they don’t understand him now. Before, he wasted time and energy on a “wild gamble.” Now, he’s burning through his fortune. What is he, an idiot?

But he always did what he couldn’t help but do.

Think of an icebreaker and a yacht. The icebreaker has a reactor inside—it doesn’t need the wind. It powers forward, smashing through ice— conventions, habits, public opinion, and so on.

A hammer doesn’t care. It will drive a nail into the wall or shatter a vase with equal enthusiasm.

Its hammerness is its nature. It can’t be otherwise. It runs in his blood—his great-grandfather, grandfather, and father were like this. Or maybe his mother secretly wished for it all along.

It sounds like a sentence. And it is—until the person begins to explore his own “reflectivity,” “acidity,” or “fluffiness.”

That’s when he gets a chance to tame the beast he’s forced to live with. With effort and luck, he can forge the best partnership possible.

The individual gains a loyal, strong, and inventive friend.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Together Into the Unknown / November 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

In 1993 my girlfriend and I were vacationing in the Carpathians.

One day, I spontaneously suggested we run down a steep mountain.

Hand in hand, we flew, picking up speed like an avalanche.

It was flight, because our feet barely touched the crumbling earth.

We were filled with wild fear and... enchanted joy.

Seconds full of youth, love and freedom. I still can’t believe we didn’t trip and crash. Nor can I understand why this girl agreed to marry me later.

Sometimes we laugh nervously, recalling that ecstatic descent.

I don’t even know what force inspired me to take that risk, leading us firmly from the mountain to the valley. My mind certainly wouldn’t allow it today. Although...

Then again, the mind never understands why we seek experiences like this. I must have instinctively known: “Marina will walk with me to the end.”

Now, after 29 years of marriage, I’m thankful to fate for our flight.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Gift of Winter / November 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

If winter didn’t exist, we’d have to invent it.

Imagine the absurdity: spring, summer, fall, spring, summer, fall…

Like a weightlifter yanking the barbell, locking it at the peak, and lowering it—only to repeat the motion endlessly.

Between sets, you need rest. A pause. A cessation.

From the perspective of hyperactive living, any pause feels like a symbolic death. The irony? Pushing nonstop often lands the overachievers in a hospital bed—or worse.

Mania always brings its shadow: depression. The collector from the Reality agency willingly gives money for a spree, but then painfully extracts the debt.

Fun fact: Mania is named after an ancient Greek goddess who drove people mad when they ditched tradition. Our ancestors gave us Sundays, holidays, and vacations for a reason. But restless souls grumble that sleep steals their precious time each night.

Neuroscience has a different take: good sleep, a short nap, or even five minutes of meditation with your eyes closed after learning can:

Help you manage pain,
Support mental health,
Consolidate memories,
Increase neuroplasticity,
Sharpen focus and clarity,
Boost cognitive performance,
Strengthen immunity and hormone production.

Now, take these “pit-stop” benefits and scale them up—from a single person to an entire ecosystem, from a day to months.

Winter is desperately needed—by you, society, and nature. Its cold emptiness removes the unnecessary and rekindles the hunger to love and create.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Not What It Seems / November 20, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Nothing is ever what it seems at first glance—especially when it comes to what holds back a company or an individual’s growth.

That’s why, during strategic sessions, I deliberately ignore the initial theories that pop into my head about what’s wrong with a company. I’m also skeptical of diagnoses made by the client.

If the problem were so obvious, it would have been resolved long ago. Instead, the business stalls for years. Revenues spike, then slump. Customers and employees come and go, but no breakthrough ever happens. Potential buyers show interest—but only half-heartedly, and rarely.

So, where’s the beaver hiding? The one that’s turned a once-rushing river into a swamp?

Finding it requires more than just an algorithm. The hardest part is staying open to the unexpected—remembering that the root of the problem, and the solution, might lie in the least likely place.

You need to prepare for the session—then be ready to toss the template. I recall an old case when I interviewed every top executive and shareholder in a company. They were all smart and experienced, yet none of them grasped the secret to the company’s success. It was something the founder had mentioned offhand, without realizing its significance.

Openness to the new creates fertile ground for breakthroughs.

It's a moment I've loved since my days working in advertising. Back then, hitting a dead end was routine. When tomorrow’s big pitch to the client demanded a “Big Idea,” but five hours of brainstorming only deepened the despair.

Then one of us would return from the restroom and say, “You know, I just thought of something…”

“That’s it!” I’d thought as the brainstorming moderator. The key was not to crush that fragile new idea but to nurture it and let it grow within the group’s mind. The next day, the client would leave thrilled. Sales would soar. Recognition. Gratitude.

If you’re working on your company’s strategy, cultivate openness to the new—in your team and yourself. This is the key that unlocks unstoppable growth.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

400 Million Years of Partnership / November 19, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Symbiosis is a close community of living organisms from different biological species. It’s more than interaction, but not yet a merger. Partners do something essential—even irreplaceable—for one another, which increases their chances of survival in the wild.

One has in abundance what the other lacks. And vice versa.

Take jackdaws, for example. They clean deer of parasites and, during shedding season, pluck out tufts of fur to use in their nests. Judging by the deer’s expression, it doesn’t suffer at all—in fact, it seems to enjoy the experience.

In obligatory symbiosis, the partners are so interdependent that they can’t survive without each other. Lichens are a classic example: their bodies are made of cells from algae and fungi, forming a partnership that’s thrived for over 400 million years.

A partnership is strong when the benefits far outweigh the inevitable costs. And there’s always a cost. You have to consider the other’s needs. Sometimes, that can be annoying. You may start thinking you’re the major contributor and could manage just fine on your own.

Sometimes, losing someone is the only way to truly understand their worth.

Anyone can start a partnership, but only mature people can sustain one. If your partnership has endured and continues to bring value, it’s a testament to both your hard work and good fortune.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Wealth or Asceticism? / November 18, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

I once worked in the wealth management industry, where I "had to" interact with extremely wealthy people. Lavish offices, sprawling apartments, trendy resorts in Italy and France—the whole glamorous package.

I admit, there was a certain charm in sitting on the Piazza San Marco on a warm night, glass of wine in hand, talking with fascinating people. Among those self-made individuals, I never met a mediocre mind.

Of course, wealth doesn’t solve existential problems, but it does ease life’s friction like prosecco, lubricant, and ibuprofen. It’s no wonder that getting used to the perks of wealth is quick and effortless.

But I’ve also had a completely opposite experience.

I’ve taken several trips to India, where I lived like a monk. Harsh surroundings, simple food, total silence, and ten hours of sitting meditation each day, whether in the cold or heat.

All around me were unfamiliar Indians, mostly from the poorest segments of society.

Here, we each tried to solve our existential dilemmas by sacrificing pleasures and comfort. Strangely enough, I also got used to these self-imposed limitations very quickly.

In fact, it took effort to return to the chaos of worldly life.

Which is better—wealth or asceticism? I don’t know, but I’ve seen how both paths can turn a person’s life into hell.

I prefer the middle way in Buddhism. It’s where, instead of swinging between two extremes, a person strives to find that “in-between” state.

Enough without excess. Quiet joys of life without guilt or shame.

When desires are neither indulged nor suppressed, you have the chance to study them and better understand yourself and others.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Be the Wave / November 17, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

It's amazing how quickly a tired body recovers when you give it a chance. In the heat of a struggle, this insight comes easier, and then you can apply it to business and life.

Why is it “easier”? Because it doesn't come through your head—it hits you straight in the body.

The grappling match lasts “only” five to seven minutes. But if you’re tense all the time, by the second minute your body stiffens, you’ve got no strength to move, no air to breathe. All you can think is, “Let this end, please!”

Forget about winning, let alone enjoying the game.

The problem isn’t with extreme tension but with how long you hold onto it. It’s like trying to store water not in a pot but in a strainer. Every second works against you, stealing the precious water of life.

But everything changes if you pause for “just” a couple of seconds. It's like breathing in the sea breeze—it refreshes your mind, body, and soul.

Got yourself into a good position? Take a quick rest, even if it’s just for a moment.

I know this turbo-boost effect well, yet it surprises me every time. Just a second ago, I was groaning, “I'm done,” and now I’m singing, “The show goes on!” Out of nowhere, a burst of energy appears—isn’t it a miracle?

What did I do? Nothing. I simply let the emptiness fill itself.

The pattern of an experienced grappler is like the ocean tide or the flicker of stars. It’s a sequence of long and short signals, like a coded message in Morse code. When an entrepreneur is tense 24/7/365, what kind of signal is that? One long, flat line. And what does that mean on a heart monitor? Exactly.

Life is breath and pulse. Both symbolically and literally.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.