Today we practiced “sacrifice throws” from judo. That’s when, instead of staying stable on your feet, you suddenly fall onto your back, pulling your opponent down with you. Your vulnerability leads to victory.
There are two variations of the same throw: Tomoe nage and Yoko Tomoe nage. In the first, you fall straight in front of him, which feels more natural. In the second, you have to fall to the side, which feels awkward and strange.
Because of the unfamiliar trajectory, a slight hesitation creeps in, and that is more than enough to ruin everything. These throws weren’t called “sacrifice techniques” (sutemi-waza) just because it sounds good.
A sacrifice cannot be made partially — only completely, all at once.
In essence, it’s a binary system, where there is only 0 and 1. No 0.1, 0.4, or 0.7. Even 0.999999999999 still won’t cut it.
And what you have to give up is not some trivial thing, but something precious to you: the upright orientation of a human being, receiving in exchange the horizontal orientation of a slug, not even an animal.
The risk is real and substantial. If something goes wrong, your opponent will drop his full weight on you, pin you to the ground, and “crush” you. So you have to act fast, and not merely decisively, but boldly.
One drop of the poison of self-doubt, and you can forget about boldness. This is an example of a “leap of faith” and “do what must be done, come what may.”
The moment of a new beginning is always like this. Strange, awkward, unaccustomed, frightening, uncertain, without guarantees. And most importantly, requiring you to surrender to the Process entirely — with soul, mind, and body.
No wonder so few are ready for it.
No wonder some of them receive so much.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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