My sparring partner and I
Breathing hard after the scramble, I say to my partner: "Whew, tough going with you. That grip of yours is brutal. I couldn’t break your hand off my gi!" He laughs: “Funny. I felt the same about you. I thought your grip was steel."
Maybe I'm right about him. But I’m clearly underestimating myself.
You need an Other who actually feels your impact—on his body, spirit, and soul—and who is kind enough to tell you what you’re really like.
Of course, the Other’s view is distorted. Everyone comes with his own expectations, sensitivities, and childhood wounds. Still, if you know this and gather seven such perspectives, the Model of Self comes out “good enough.”
And if those seven turn out to be people "leveled up" in life experience, reflection, practices, and psychotherapy...
...then there's a chance to know the true Self.
The one God made you.
The one that will unsettle, delight, and surprise you.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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