Moto Gymkhana Competition, October 5, 2014
Long ago I got into motorcycles. Later, I wrote down the insights in an article: “Why I Bought and Sold a Motorcycle: A Story of Studying One Fear.”
Recently, a vivid moment came back to me. I had been training on the track for two years, but still couldn’t decide if riding was truly mine or not. One experience changed everything:
“I clearly recall one training session when I was practicing the figure eight — a maneuver required to pass the licensing exam. The point was to follow the line of two linked circles, each six meters wide. You had to stay alert, focused, and in control of your attention and the bike — playing with throttle, clutch, and brake, constantly shifting angles, with the risk of slipping and falling at any moment. It feels like walking a tightrope or balancing on a razor’s edge. From the outside, the drill looks monotonous and tiring. Yet right there I suddenly felt a rising wave of tangible, undeniable pleasure — from the very act of riding. I understood the true source of my hidden pull toward motorcycles — for years my body had been anticipating this exact kind of joy, one that is hard to experience any other way. Everything suddenly made sense. It was time to buy my own bike.”
Do you see? An outside observer would have noticed nothing. He would never believe that inside a dull routine an insight was born that changed everything for me. Two years of doubt, and then crystal clarity.
But that is the point — personal experience must be lived, not explained.
No matter how someone compares your life, its felt sense is unique. Another person may understand you, accept you, or even love you. Or he may try with all his might to copy your every move.
But even a second of your being is inaccessible to him — just as his is to you.
That is the freedom of living your own true life. You may abandon it yourself, but, thank God, no one can take it from you by force.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
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