Every time, I dread that today is the day when I have no ideas for the newsletter. I must endure the fog of nothing, and in the end, light breaks through.
But sometimes, no matter how long I wait or scan the horizon, all I see is a bare, lifeless steppe. Wind stirs the grass blades. Time stands still.
I recall S.N. Goenka's word from a Vipassana retreat in India. When you meditate ten hours a day, thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations bubble up. Often ugly ones.
The goal: watch it all steady, unmoved. Sooner or later, every wave fades and dies. If the pain became unbearable, you could change your posture. What mattered was equanimity — if you fought the pain, equanimity was lost.
So if no ideas hit today, no need to panic, let alone beat yourself up. Ride the void out. The experience itself is important.
And why not try to describe it? The right words help you feel what’s happening more deeply. Even a private journal has value. But the effect is stronger when someone reads it. Sure, someone you trust with your odd thoughts.
Thankfully, I have you. Our connection began long ago, so I’m ready to share even emptiness with you, not just my usual overflow.
Why bare it? I’m curious to observe my own stupor and the far-from-guaranteed breakthrough. It’s easier to do that in your presence.
AI analyzed my essays and gave me its verdict about the main theme:
“You’re not writing about transformation — you’re performing it.”
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
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