In George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, the dwarf Tyrion Lannister is one of the most fascinating characters. The reason flashes early in the first book, when he meets Jon Snow, the illegitimate son of Lord Eddard Stark of the North. Tyrion hits him with the truth, straight between the eyes:
“Let me give you some advice, bastard,” said Lannister. “Never forget what you are. The world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
Tyrion knows what he’s talking about. He looks nothing like his tall, beautiful, golden-haired brother and sister. His mother died giving birth to him, something his father never forgave.
To survive, Tyrion chose truth over illusion. He accepted his unlucky hand as a fact of life—and after many dangerous adventures, he ends up on top (at least in the show, which overtook the books).
There is no such thing as a perfect birth, childhood, or coming of age. A broken family, cruel relatives, health problems—the list of possible wounds is long. Everyone feels defective in some way.
Tyrion’s advice speaks to all of us: what we once called weakness, shame, or flaw can become our strength. But first, we must face it, study it, and name it.
Not the crowd or the world first—we must crown our own bastard.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
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