There are at least two ways to talk.
The first is “small talk.” Words spill out fast, like you’re reading a teleprompter. The script’s polite, nothing to fault, but it’s got no heart, no depth.
This kind of talk is like grease—it smooths friction between people. I see you, you see me. We meet, nod, and move on. It lets you size up if someone’s a stranger or friendly.
It’s not really talk; it’s a ritual dance. Pass this step, and you can dive deeper or bail out quick. Introverts have to learn the steps.
The second way is “deep talk.” Words don’t come from a stockpile; they’re born in the moment. You need pauses, the guts to sit in silence while thoughts take shape.
But if you keep skimming the surface, snorkeling with flippers, you might forget how to dive deep. You can spend days in crowds, on calls, grabbing coffee, yet feel unheard, misunderstood, alone.
To avoid this, intentionally weave “deep talk” into your life.
– walk long with your wife, child, or friend, – align your vision with a business partner, – work with a therapist or a group, – write a newsletter, – keep a journal, – pray.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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