Today is a holiday—International Father’s Day. I never knew my dad. My biological father left for another family when I was five years old.
In my youth, I tried to shrug it off, like it didn’t matter. But the deeper I dig into myself, the clearer it becomes: that moment shaped my fate.
A father’s role is to bless everyone, especially his child.
If he refuses, he casts a curse. A hole lingers in the child’s head or heart. No matter how strong the rest of the body grows, a jab in that spot can kill.
Life becomes a hunt for patches, umbrellas, helmets, weapons—anything to hide or shield the wound. Instinct quietly does most of the work, stitching defenses.
But these fixes fall short, flawed. Sooner or later, you face the truth: the only way out is to sculpt and fire the figure of a Father within yourself.
This is far from a trivial task. Without divine help, it would be doomed. But as psychologist Edward Edinger explains, a curse can turn into a priceless gift:
"When the personal father is missing and, more particularly, when he is completely unknown, as may happen with an illegitimate child, there is no layer of personal experience to mediate between the ego and the numinous image of the archetypal father. A kind of hole is left in the psyche through which emerge the powerful archetypal contents of the collective unconscious. Such a condition is a serious danger. It threatens inundation of the ego by the dynamic forces of the unconscious, causing disorientation and loss of relation to external reality. If, however, the ego can survive this danger, the “hole in the psyche” becomes a window providing insights into the depths of being."
Without a father outside, the child turns inward—to the Self. That’s what Carl Jung called the core of the personality, a deep force pushing for wholeness and potential.
The transcendent Father steps in where the earthly one fled. As an archetype, this Father is endlessly wise, strong, generous, kind. He’s always been there, is there now, will always be. Ready to support you—just call.
It’s like planting unknown seeds, unsure how fast the tree will grow or when it will bear fruit. But from the pulse of my dreams, one day, God willing, a garden will bloom inside me.
I love you, my Father. May every day be yours!
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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