Step into discomfort / by Alexander Lyadov

We constantly worry about the possibility of something going wrong. All this is implicit, in the background, as if, among other things.

But ask a person directly, "What's the worst that will happen to you if you leave everything as it is?" and they'll find plenty of ways to dodge that question. The paradox is that consciously thinking about the negative isn't something anyone wants to do.

Maybe someone believes it's best not to invite trouble into their life. Like, don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. This is similar to a child's magical thinking: If you hide under the blanket, the danger will disappear.

An adult knows that in reality, it's the opposite. The only way to protect yourself from inevitable chaos is to step towards it. Of course, not impulsively, but on your own terms. The better you understand the thing that scares you, the more likely it is that it won't hurt you, it will pass you by. Such knowledge serves as road sign, warning that there's a sharp turn ahead in 100 meters.

Most of us will read this, nod in agreement, and... do nothing about it. We need someone who can help us navigate this uncomfortable path. It's not about listing risks formally; it's about honestly living out the answers to the questions. For this, you need both gentleness and firmness. The former creates safety, the latter keeps you from veering off track. A psychotherapist, guide, or coach can serve as a catalyst for you if they are: a) professional, b) focused on finding the truth, and c) genuinely care about you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


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