Freedom Battle Within / by Alexander Lyadov

For freedom, one must fight. Even within oneself. There's so much to do, commitments pulling you every which way.

Seems like gaining freedom once and for all is impossible. Our minds are stuck in these fragile bodies, existing in a chaotic world. But beyond the body, there are personal aspects demanding, "Why hesitate?! Dive into X! Why haven't you done Y yet?"

Give them a chance, and internal critics will nag you to a pulse loss. These voices seem like they belong to a paranoid, a wicked teacher, or a stuck algorithm. Their demands have a meaning for them, but love for you is absent. In 99 out of 100 cases, their screams and whines are useless.

No, it's not conscience. The latter usually whispers faintly, gazes meaningfully, or stays silent, blushing. Compared to the critics, conscience is easier to ignore or drown out.

To stay sane and not burn out, find a way to shut your critics up, slam the door in their faces, and put up a sign saying, "We're closed." For instance, my critics are speechless when:

  • I'm in an ice bath,

  • I'm doing jiu-jitsu,

  • I'm helping a client,

  • I'm writing an article,

  • I feel connected to the person I am talking to.

That is, whenever I'm nowhere else but in the present.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander


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