For several years now, I've almost completely cut out alcohol. No, I don't deem it evil, and I don't judge those who enjoy a drink. Occasionally, I savor a glass of wine – gatherings with friends, celebrations, and such.
But the regret kicks in almost immediately. As soon as ethanol starts infiltrating my brain. You see, my attention has become precious to me lately. It's become a new necessity and even an occasional pleasure.
Clarity of thought, sensitivity to nuances, and an all-encompassing perspective. It wasn't as crucial before. Have it? Great. Don't? No big deal.
I used to roll along life's tracks like a tram – night in the depot, a series of stops during the day. Child's play to control: two pedals – gas and brake.
One day, I got tired of being the tram conductor. I stepped off the rails.
Greater freedom comes with a price – responsibility for the consequences. If you want to fly, learn not to fall. And the closer you get to the clouds, the higher the demands for vigilance.
Yes, alcohol consoles, liberates, and amuses. But in return, it cunningly steals my consciousness. It's like the mosquito's saliva. It contains an analgesic that makes the skin puncture barely noticeable.
I'm no longer willing to lose consciousness for free. The exchange must be equivalent. Now I understand the Peruvian Indians. For them, plant extracts are tools for healing and self-discovery.
Changing consciousness with a "potion" just for fun or to numb the suffering mind? Too expensive and ineffective in the long run.
I'd rather keep my consciousness clear, especially when chaos reigns around. And when the time is right for next transformation, I have a choice of tools.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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