Sixteen strangers stared at me in tense anticipation. I got invited to moderate a strategic session. In reality, there was a brewing conflict within the company. But no one dared to label it as such. De facto, I became a business mediator.
Conflict is an extremely unstable thing. The more people involved, the higher the chance of an explosion. So agreeing to this project may sound like madness or adventure.
In my defense, other moderators declined. However, there was something about these folks that appealed to me, so I wanted to help them. Eventually, I convinced myself it was a professional challenge.
In such situations, a solid foundation is crucial – you've got to start right.
First, I asked participants to take a few minutes to individually write their response to the question, "What irritates, confuses, or worries me the most in the company?"
Each person voiced their points, and I listened intently, asking deeper questions. Some needed encouragement to speak, while others needed timely restraint. At the same time, I had to calm down the 'opponents' eager to convey their 'truth.'
At the end of this exercise, the atmosphere in the room noticeably changed. People relaxed, smiles appeared, and a sense of excitement emerged.
But why, when it was like touching an open wound with our hands?
1. Implicit things became explicit. The conflict was named a conflict. People voiced all their fears. This reduced the uncertainty.
2. I demonstrated a different way of communication and its benefits. People realized that if I could do it, they could too.
3. For the first time, everyone felt genuinely heard. The urge to fight and prove a point vanished.
4. It turned out the "opponents" had a meaningful position too. Moreover, their initial intentions were good.
5. It became clear that despite differences in approaches, everyone globally wanted to achieve a very similar state.
With such a strong foundation, the rest of the session went great.
Notice, the problems and solutions were within them.
I was just a catalyst for changes they needed long ago.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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