"Do you see the dynamics?" my therapist asks. "Not sure :)," I reply. She points to the facts. "Oh, right! You're absolutely correct!" I admit, while wondering—how could I have missed this?
This is how the gaze of Another works—it fills in the picture of you that you couldn’t see yourself.
If therapy is effective, change happens naturally—like an embryo forming inside an egg as the mother hen keeps it warm.
The person has already changed, but he feels like he’s always been this way.
And that’s how it should be. True transformation isn’t about grafting something foreign onto you. No, it unlocks the potential that was always there but had been dormant or blocked.
But sometimes, even I can see the difference between before and after. That means the shift is sudden, deep, and vast. I find myself doing things that once seemed impossible, while my mind watches in shock, refusing to believe this is real.
Then there’s the in-between state—the insight that comes in a dream. Like last night, when a flash of awareness shot through me. It was as if a key turned in the lock of an important door.
Yes, these changes haven’t yet appeared in the physical world. But I’ve seen it happen too many times to doubt it—everything visible begins as something unseen. You need a gardener’s patience. The seed must first take root deep in the soil before it can send its sprout toward the sky.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.