If a child is rude, selfish, and arrogant, other kids won’t let him join their game.
A CEO can force an employee to follow procedures, but not to invent.
You can’t force yourself to care. You can’t make yourself engage with life.
According to psychologist Jean Piaget, certain conditions make a game a game:
Voluntary participation.
Emotional involvement.
Repetition and variation.
Independence from utilitarian goals.
A system of implicit or explicit rules.
Imagination and transformation of reality.
This applies to games with others—and to the games we play with ourselves. Maybe depression begins when the Self refuses to play with the Ego.
Ideally, the Self (your deep, instinctive “I”) and the Ego (your conscious mind) act as partners in a game. From within, a pull emerges—passion, curiosity, a craving for something new. The Ego tries to digest this novelty through awareness, action, and adaptation.
But sometimes, the Ego decides:
“I already know everything.”
“I need quick, guaranteed results.”
“We don’t have time for childish games.”
“I need to control what confuses or scares me.”
“I make the rules because no one outranks me.”
“Only what can be measured or touched has value.”
“You’ll want to join in—I just have to push you a little.”
Then the Self retreats underground and starts plotting revenge. The person feels mechanical, like he’s just going through the motions. Meaning, excitement and simple joys fade. Routine and boredom take over. The Ego is left alone, sadly watching the pulsation of being.
The way out? Learn to play again—with the unknown part of yourself.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.