In our culture, doing nothing is frowned upon.
A person who does nothing looks lazy, suspicious, strange.
At best, he'll be seen as the village idiot. Sitting on a bench, squinting into the sun, smiling at something. What a weirdo.
But he'll start to irritate many people. Why does he get to sit around while everyone else works like a horse? Such a disruption creates chaos.
It's hard to tolerate someone else's idleness. Why?
Maybe it's the heavy legacy of the USSR, where everyone was compelled to give everything today for the sake of a bright tomorrow. But no — in the West, a person who goes still for a moment also triggers unease and anxiety.
The first exercise taught at a Vipassana meditation course helps explain this phenomenon. You have to closely observe the air touching your nostrils as you breathe in and out, without getting distracted by anything else.
Oh, and for an hour you cannot move, shift, or change your position.
Within seconds, you realize what torture this is. A tsunami of thoughts, memories, sensations, and feelings crashes over you. Sometimes drowsiness takes over. And above all, the boredom drives you insane.
To distract yourself somehow, you're ready to do just about anything. Better to push a mine cart underground than endure the dead calm and the storm within.
Doing nothing turns a person toward himself. More precisely, toward the unknown aspects of himself that he desperately avoids.
A pause is like a hole in the bottom of a yacht through which death seeps in. At least, that's how your own otherness feels. Dangerous questions crowd your mind, and there are no ready-made answers.
That's why even the sight of another person sitting perfectly still can make you uneasy. He's like a finger pointing at the Void within.
The irony is that through that hole, genuine Life enters. Which the mind — acting as controller — perceives as madness, collapse, and ruin.
All that frightening darkness is your unique resource — like crude oil. The simpleton will sneer: "Ugh, filth." The master will dance in a fountain of that "filth" and laugh wildly: "We are rich!"
Most importantly, this Source within you is inexhaustible.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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