Do you know how to kill life inside yourself quickly and efficiently?
When a strong but vague desire appears, immediately ask yourself: “So, how do you plan to make this happen?”
Then turn up the pressure: “No, how exactly? Give me metrics. Lay it all out by dates and steps.”
Be sure to compare yourself to others: “Has anyone ever done this? Do you even have the resources?”
And finally, deliver the headshot: “And can you give hard guarantees of success?”
If your desire wasn't some trivial thing like brewing coffee, but something real, intimate, new for you, that hail of icy questions will crush the first fragile shoots.
I call this premature optimization. When fussy care for form replaces function, meaning, life.
There’s an old saying: Omnis fastinatio ex parte diaboli est — “All haste is from the devil.” His main task is to cut you from your true desires. Why?
Inside, an existential hole opens, known by its scary emptiness, unbearable longing, dark mood. You have to plug that hole somehow.
The devil's ready to serve: "Here, take someone else's desire! Isn't it perfect?"
From there, the trap only tightens. A man stays busy, keeps running, keeps achieving. And yet, with each passing year, the feeling grows clearer: “This isn’t it.” Can't stop, can't go on.
Uncomfortable? I get it. Me too.
What breaks the vicious circle is a sacred pause. When you notice a glimmer of a fuzzy desire, put the interrogator on trial and ask: “Do you love me at all?”
If the mind loves the arguments but your soul turns sick, give the desire time. Let it root in the subconscious, grow strong, rise.
The Chinese say, "水到渠成" — "When the water arrives, the channel is ready."
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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