Two Ways to Live / by Alexander Lyadov

In symbol drama's frame, I dive deep into the scene, living an image on the therapist's set theme. For the next session, I must sketch what I've lived.

Insights scatter across the whole process. Here's one from lately:

I can't stand drawings "from the head"—they lack fresh spark. Like that old joke on pretty balloons with a flaw—they don't lift the mood.

The ones I love most always surprise me. Either I aim for one thing, and another breaks through. Or I sit blank, no spark at all, and up rises what I never saw coming.

Drawing "from the head" feels safe, smooth, quick. Like linking dots to a shape, shading a coloring book, or tracing a stencil. Sliding through the alphabet—from A to B, from B to C, and all the way to Z.

What name fits the other path—from gut, heart, spine?

At first, the body knots up ugly:

  • shame at my clumsy lines,

  • fog on what shape it craves,

  • doubt if symbol drama works at all,

  • no grip on when or how the right image strikes,

  • rage at why a grown man wastes time on such nonsense.

In the end, the "gut" way hooks harder. Down deep, it's a rush so sweet you hate to break the surface. The brush moves on its own, with the hand reining it loose. A new world is born—and I already love it.

Isn't this the raw choice—two roads to live a life?

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander


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