Unknown artist
In November 2007, I left my wealth management company. First of all, I had satisfied my curiosity by understanding how the business worked. And second, I realized that selling other people’s investment products was profitable, but not my path.
For several months, I did nothing. Well, not exactly nothing — I did a lot of things that didn’t have any clear goal or effect, things that were hard to even explain:
I rediscovered the feeling of “true hunger” and lost 44 lbs.
I spent hours lying on the couch or watching people outside my window.
I immersed myself in the financial reports of US public companies.
I built a database of unusual tech startups.
I fell asleep listening to self-hypnosis audio programs.
I read unfamiliar books, made “mood boards,” and more.
In short, I blindly followed my curiosity wherever it led. From the outside, it seemed like I was digging aimlessly in the dirt or hanging in a void. But it was then that my desire to create was awakened.
Suddenly, I wanted to get out there. I started meeting investors, bankers, and entrepreneurs. I asked them about their businesses and shared my ideas. No one turned me down, even though I couldn’t explain exactly what I wanted. Doors opened on their own.
That’s the power of archetypes. Once you tap into it, vertical growth follows. The key is holding onto the Dragon by the tail.
A fragment from a letter I wrote to a friend in May 2008 is quite telling:
“The drive is such that sometimes it feels like my mind will explode. The emotions swing like on a seesaw — from frustration and hopelessness to exhilaration and revelation, all in one day. ;) I’m trying not to rush, to listen to myself more, monitor my internal comfort level, dodge social pressure... you get the idea. ;)
What will come of this is still unclear, but it’s very interesting.Though it’s all intuitive. And, of course, there are plenty of temptations (an oligarch wants me to manage hundreds of millions in assets, the ad world is calling me back, etc.). What I’ve been doing for the past six months can’t be rationally justified, because there are no clear analogs, no definite goal, and no pre-established path. But something inside tells me that I’m moving in the right direction, and the uncharted nature of the route might be more beneficial than not. Let’s see.”
As a result, I launched my own project, then raised “just” $50M, and co-founded an investment fund. That’s how the next phase of my life began, filled with plenty of failures and victories. Wild projects across three countries, investment committees in Michelin-starred restaurants, encounters with criminals, adventures on the road — in short, surreal experiences.
It was impossible to predict such a trajectory. Even now, it’s hard to believe. My contribution was small — the energy to dance with the unknown came from the archetype. I just tried to manage it as best as I could.
I’m still learning how to connect with this force without burning out. Perhaps this is the most important art in life, more so than any other. What do you think? Have you had such periods in your life? Write about them to me or to yourself.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.