Luis CK, the stand-up comedian, has a wonderful bit about Achilles and his mother. Louis ends with the words: "What the story of Achilles teaches me, is that, if you’re a parent, it’s never enough what you do for these motherfuckers. It’s just never enough. It’s still gonna be your fault."
Each of us is a son or daughter, and if we're lucky, we eventually become a mother or a father. That’s when we start to understand. For example, how much we wanted to give our children, but how little we were able to. Or t may seem that way, at first glance.
But as children grow, it turns out they are far from deprived — they have many different gifts. Some were passed down through blood, while others they saw in the family and absorbed. Sometimes, children value exactly what parents never even noticed.
In psychotherapy, they say it's impossible to give — you can only take. Is it any different in a family? Parents give what they are able to give, and children take as much as God has allotted them. If necessary, they’ll take more from other adults. To hold grievances against your parents means you don’t really know them at all. Maturing is learning to stop idealizing your parents, to stop being disappointed by the fact that they, horror of horrors, are just human.
We can only guess at how hard it was for our parents. Generally, parents don't rush to reveal the darker side of their family life, and children are too busy with their own lives and world.
We should be grateful that our parents are who they are. Without them, we wouldn't be here. Are you dissatisfied that the inherited fire is small? But it burns. You can make it bigger and stronger.
And to conclude, here’s the best photo of true motherhood, with the caption: "My mom has this picture hanging on her wall in her house for everyone to see. She sends it to me every Mother’s Day. This is me when my kids were little. Apparently, my kids needed me. And so did the dog."
How much strength, patience, and love there is in this, right?
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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