Princess Yvonne and Prince Alexander of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn in Germany, 1955
Over the years of individual and group therapy, the way I see people has changed. I used to take them at face value. But then I began to see beneath the surface.
Take a bearded man in a suit parking his SUV, or a stern woman in a lab coat scolding nurses. They look like grown-ups.
A bearded child in a high-ranking job? Sounds absurd. Or is it?
You might feel confused when a respectable-looking man blocks the entire parking exit and says, wide-eyed, “Well, where else was I supposed to park? All the spots were taken. I’ll just be five minutes.” (Three hours later, his SUV’s still there.)
You wonder: “This can’t be real. Is he stupid? Malicious? Nuts?”
Thanks to a wise and kind therapist, I learned—well into my forties—just how childish I often feel and act. And I never saw it. Even when I had flashes of insight, I denied it.
The more I met the hungry, furious, wounded child inside me, the clearer I saw the same infantilism in others.
Turns out, 80% of adults are basically indistinguishable from kids.
Carl Jung once said, “People don’t have ideas. Ideas have people.” When a person is under the grip of an archetype, he doesn’t belong to himself. He demands admiration. He works nonstop. He stirs up drama without guilt. Conflict follows him like a shadow.
Strangely, that makes life a little easier. It’s one thing to watch a grown man explode in a fit of rage, it’s another to see a child, unloved and overwhelmed, throwing a tantrum.
And if that’s true, maybe you speak to them differently. Choose your words with care. Even if these “kids” hold enormous power, their behavior won’t shock you as much.
“For they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
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