Whether it's a conflict in business or an argument in a social media, it's easy to let your impulsive emotions run wild. They are as uncontrollable as the gag reflex. An attack of “righteous” anger, irritation and hatred overwhelms the brain, chattering it in the skull like balls in a lottery machine. At that moment, some mighty force takes possession of man, subjugating his will to itself. Enslavement to passions, demonic possession or acting out — whatever you call the phenomenon, the result is dire for all involved.
I remember once on the road, some car and I started cutting each other off in retaliation. The fantasy quickly inflamed the misunderstanding into a Sicilian vendetta. Enraged, we parked and strode out of the cars for the “duel.” But having met not a demonic image, but a living person, we sobered up from the absurdity of the situation and, in embarrassment, dispersed.
There are different ways to confront these forces: ascesis, prayer, meditation, sports, psychotherapy, etc. It seems to me, technically, common is to create distance — yes, IT is there, but so are YOU. By making passion the object of exploration, we reclaim the lost power back.
But why did we succumb to the impulse in the first place? A wise man gave the thought, “The only roughness to cling to is the Ego. Excessive preoccupation with one’s own needs and inflated self-esteem is a sore point that, no matter how careful you are, you can’t help stepping on. Everyone has it at a very specific point. It is clearly indicated by your explosive overreaction to a relatively small stimulus. And the analyst’s eye will even notice the deeply hidden pleasure in allowing yourself to get off to the fullest. In the heat of the moment, you can’t realize such subtleties. You need a “laboratory,” where a specialist or group in a trusting environment can help you experience, understand, and internalize the lesson you have learned.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
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As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.