To help someone, you need to earn their trust. Without trust, your good intentions might feel like violence and harm.
When does trust arise? When a person feels that you truly understand who they are—or at least that you’re sincerely trying to. This means no judgment, no attempts to change them, no desire to erase their identity.
And their initial distrust is entirely justified. Would you jump with a new type of parachute without understanding how it works or how to deploy it? I doubt it.
First, figure out what you’re dealing with. Then decide if anything needs to change. You might discover there’s no problem at all—or that it resolves itself.
Unfortunately, some “saviors” need people to save just to feel fulfilled. If there’s no one left to rescue, they’ll seek out someone in need—or invent problems in their own minds.
Their well-meaning care blinds them, pushing them to act before they understand the person or the issue. Good intentions illuminate an eternal sign:
“Roadwork Ahead. Path to Hell.”
We’ve all experienced such interference at some point. The real question is, which is worse—violence from malice or from overwhelming love? The latter is harder to recognize and nearly impossible to resist. If your nerves can take it, watch the film Misery (1990) sometime.
The good news? Earning someone’s trust is entirely within your power. All it takes is deciding, even as an experiment:
“For the next hour, I will forget myself completely. My focus will be 100% on you.”
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.
How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.