Two On One / November 9, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What trait in a partner is valuable in business and in life? It's something you might call resilience, indestructibility, stability.

A person who holds onto himself despite pressure from all sides.

Such constancy offers support like an ice floe in the sea does for a polar bear. Just one more step forward — in this chaos, that's enough.

It's a bonus if your partner can also contain the chaos inside you. That will protect your business from reckless leaps, and your enemies will lose their fire when they suddenly hit a wall.

Of course, a partner's resilience has its limits. But that's not a concern when your partnership is strong.

How can you tell? It's when your vulnerabilities and your partner's don't overlap.

If in grappling you grab an athlete’s forearm with one hand, he’ll easily break free by twisting toward his thumb. But clasp his arm with both hands forming a circle, and it's ten times harder for him to escape. This is the “Two on One” principle.

By compensating for each other's weaknesses, you multiply your combined strength.

Ideally, you should also have different personality types, life experiences and superpowers. A synthesis of symbolic opposites will both endure and crush anything in its path.

But there's a catch. It’s hard for those partners to endure each other. To acknowledge your own gaps and appreciate the other's weirdness, you both have to be mature individuals.

That's why successful business and life partnerships are rare.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

How can I help you?
If you've long been trying to understand what is limiting you and/or your business and how to finally give important changes a push, then The Catalyst Session is designed specifically for you. Book it here.

Leap Beyond Illusion / November 8, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Sometimes, it’s just a tiny bump, yet a man can’t seem to crawl over it. Other times, the same man leaps over a towering wall with ease.

The height of the obstacle doesn’t matter. What truly counts is the thirst for life.

That’s the name of a sharp Jack London story I suggest you revisit—especially if you’ve hit a dead end.

This thirst for life shows up as a drive toward a specific state B, which feels better than your current state A. The bigger the gap between what you crave and what you have, the higher you can jump.

But there’s a catch. State B can’t just be a conviction of the mind, even if everyone around you insists it’s what you need.

The impulse to move from A to B isn’t rational or irrational. You are drawn there despite your fear and inability to explain.

Your job is to help yourself, not get in your own way. This means describing both A and B as clearly as possible. It’s crucial to understand what lets you breathe freely or, on the flip side, what chokes your throat.

What stops you are illusions:

1. A person believes he understands the nature of his obstacle. But if that were true, he would’ve found a gate or a springboard by now. The stubbornness of the barrier hints: “Nothing is what it seems.”

2. He’s convinced he knows exactly what he wants and where he’s headed. But soon he is quite confused after a few probing questions.

When the illusions are gone, you don’t even need to jump—you simply fly.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

One is Enough / November 7, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Power-hungry global bureaucracies, corrupt media, manipulative social networks—today, there are plenty of arguments for why we have little influence over anything.

But things aren't so simple when you look closer at your life.

For example, I’ve met a few people who split my life into “before” and “after.” With some, I had long conversations; with others, I only met once. Some I knew only through their actions or their work.

Just a brief encounter between us was enough to change me.

Champion coach John Danaher revolutionized jiu-jitsu, showing the world the power of leg attacks. But what changed John’s own perspective was a single phrase, when grappler Dean Lister asked him, “Why ignore 50% of the human body?”

The best catalyst for change is asking the right question at the right time.

“A child can only admire himself if his mother admires him first,” explained a psychotherapist. Someone has to gift the child love. If not his mother, then someone else—a grandmother, a neighbor, or a coach. Otherwise, the light will never break through the darkness of his soul.

When a diamond bends a ray of light, how many people see the reflection? Your personality is a diamond. Life is the jeweler. And the light is...

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Hunting, Business, and Life / November 6, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

To put it simply, you can represent any company through three components:

Marginal Profit
Operating Expenses
Net Profit

How can you explain this to a hunter so he gets it?

Think of revenue as the game he catches—deer or grouse he brings back. Every arrow he shoots is a variable cost.

When you subtract those Variable Costs from Revenue, you get Marginal profit. This is the food that will feed his family, and provide a reserve for future lean times (i.e., investments).

But catching and bringing home game isn’t the whole story—you still have to cook it. And while the hunter’s out in the wild, someone has to keep the home clean, cozy, and safe for the children.

Preserving what you already have—that’s the essence of operating expenses.

They’re essential, though hard to pin down precisely. For they affect the hunter’s marksmanship only indirectly, by keeping his mind at ease.

Marginal profit minus Operating Expenses equals Net Profit.

Of course, there can be a Net Loss. Imagine the family is now packed with aunts, uncles, and neighbors, all promising to help out around the house. Everyone seems busy, but it’s hard to say if comfort and order have really improved.

If the appetite of these relatives exceeds the hunter’s capacity to bring home the game, the whole group will start to go hungry. But the hunter, too, might start missing his mark, knowing no one’s back home to kill a snake or scrub away mold.

What’s needed is someone who cares about the system as a whole, not just one part. Someone who’ll make and execute tough, uncomfortable decisions.

Someone who doesn’t just value profit, but sees the Flow of Life behind it.

Who is this? The Founder, the Creator, the Master.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unlock Yourself / November 5, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The problems holding us back in life are like tricky locks.

Intuition whispers that something precious lies behind the door: treasure, freedom, or a personal meaning. But the door remains impassable.

We ring and knock with our fists, waiting, then banging again.

“I want to reach the next level,” says one client. “It’s like I’ve hit an invisible wall,” explains another. "The old methods don't work, and I don't know how to do it the new way,” adds a third, frustrated.

People are looking for someone to open the door for them. They do not realize that they are the key.

This is a tough truth to grasp alone. People tend to see the lock as something outside themselves—believing that circumstances or even evil people are holding them back.

Yet the years pass, partners and situations change, but the outcome stays the same. Finally, a person realizes, “Maybe it’s all about me?”

Then begins the long search for an “engineer” to fix him.

This journey is full of disappointments because a person is not a clock to be repaired. It’s a blessing if you meet someone who turns you back toward yourself (it happened to me). His honest, attentive gaze reflects the real you.

You are everything: the question and the answer, the safe and the code, the host and the guest.

And the door opens on its own: "Well, finally. Come on in, dear!"

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Master or Slave of the Snowball? / November 4, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Imagine you’re rolling a snowball uphill. With each step, it grows in size and weight. But the climb gets harder and harder.

Everyone around you admires your success. You're exhausted, but proud. Still, there’s that gnawing worry growing day by day. You feel your position growing more precarious. As if all this success were being held up not by a strong rope but by a thin thread.

If you don’t change your approach, disaster is inevitable.

Now, imagine a different scenario. Same hill, same snow, same you. But this time, there’s no need to push anything uphill. Just let a small snowball roll down.

Gravity will do the work, quickly turning it into a snowball, then into an avalanche.

Notice the principle here: results can grow infinitely as your effort approaches zero. This ideal may be unattainable, but it’s valuable as a guiding star.

So, here’s a formula for business and life:

Find a position where the environment works with you.
Put in effort to create necessary and sufficient conditions.
Make time to observe when the context changes.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Love What You Do or Not? / November 3, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

The popular advice “Do what you love” is misguided. But not because doing what you love is harmful. The issue lies elsewhere.

Unless we’re talking about dusting or IG scrolling, any worthwhile endeavor will take months, if not years, to reach a point of excellence. Until then, the learning process can feel difficult, discouraging, and dull.

The path of mastery is rarely quick and smooth; it’s usually winding and rough.

Moreover, there are moments when we hate even the things we deeply love. For instance, writing is a cherished part of my day. But it’s a bitter feeling when I’ve been staring at a blank screen for an hour with nothing to show for it.

Or, sometimes we’re thrilled with the result, but the actual work or a particular phase of it brings irritation and resistance. Think of morning workouts for a night owl, or the sales process for an introvert.

Something else redeems the price we pay in these cases.

But first, let’s address the main obstacle — we don’t know ourselves well. Only years later do we start to understand why we acted one way and not another. What we want for our future is often a mystery.

Thank God, we have a clue — rely on your Interest.

No one in the world can explain why something intrigues you. Nor should they. Interest bubbles up inside you, like a hiccup or a dream. It’s yours alone, because it can’t be faked or forced.

Interest points to a potential personal meaning.

It’s not a guarantee, but it’s an opportunity. Better to give it a shot. If all goes well, as you dig into something new, your interest will stick around and even grow.

Conclusion: start with interest, and love will follow.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Unity, Function, and Strength / November 2, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Here's what my home gym looks like. Besides weights, there’s a bench, resistance bands, and some DIY equipment for neck and forearm.

I keep all this gear around so I never have an excuse to get bored.

Five days a week, when there’s no jiu-jitsu, my “place of power” waits for me. The rule is strict and simple: “Do whatever you want, but work until you sweat.”

Almost every time, I don’t feel like starting. Mornings usually come with a bad mood, some pain, a dirty dog after the walk, and so on. But there hasn’t been a single time I regretted working out.

A cold shower finishes the transformation. I walk out a different person.

It’s strange. My body feels tired and chilled, but my mind is clear, and my spirit feels alive. Breakfast feels well-earned. A handful of vitamins and minerals. Fresh coffee. That’s it.

Like a factory machine, my system starts up, smooth and steady.

My mind is rearing to go, almost begging, “You’ve given the body what it needed. Now, it’s my turn!” Why is it this way?

Everything has a purpose. It only truly exists when it’s in action. A beaver builds a dam. A predator hunts its prey. A bumblebee pollinates a flower.

Dividing a person into body, mind, and soul is as flawed as any model. The state of one affects the others. When each is fully engaged, their roles weave together into a unique pattern of self.

If you’ve hit a wall in your intellectual or creative pursuits, maybe it’s time to strengthen your muscles again.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Other View / November 1, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

To find a way out of a tough situation, you have to step outside yourself.

There are many ways to do this:

Take your situation to the edge of absurdity.
Roll back to the starting point.
Imagine you’re someone else.
Picture yourself in the future.
Dive into the here and now.
Turn yourself inside out.
Merge with the question.
Embody the ideal.
Step aside.

The problem is like an optical illusion. You stare at the picture, but all you see is an old woman. And then—bam! A beautiful lady appears, and once you see her, you can’t unsee her.

The picture hasn’t changed. What changed? Just your perspective.

Now, you can even switch between “modes” at will.

Notice there’s been growth. You haven’t lost anything, and you can still remember the struggle of being stuck. This helps you empathize with others still in that “before” state.

So don’t be afraid to let go of a familiar worldview. Wade confidently into the refreshing waters of new ideas. Chances are, there won’t be a breakdown or replacement, but synthesis and integration.

You’ll enrich yourself, adding a new facet to your inner diamond.

Inside, you’re a little freer.

Instead of a captive’s, you now have a creator’s eyes.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Purging for Change / October 31, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Many want change. For the better, of course — and fast.

Sadly, the biggest obstacle to change is often the person himself.

He’s too attached to his old ways, habits, and thinking. Like a hoarder, he clutters up his mind, filling every corner with things he thinks he might "need someday." In this trash can, there’s no room for a creator or anything new.

According to one study, only 42% of people with hoarding tendencies recognize their behavior as problematic. And so, the person who wants change creates a dilemma in his mind: “I want to improve my life, but I don’t want anything to change right now.”

Sometimes fate steps in and sets fire to all that old clutter.

Suddenly, man realizes he’s helpless, vulnerable, and exposed. Soon after, he thinks, "Hmm, I’ve lost everything, but I’m alive!" In time, he has an epiphany: "I haven’t felt this free in ages."

Wow! Turns out, after the exhale comes a pause, then a fresh inhale.

Wise is the one who regularly burns away the junk, without waiting for fate to strike.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Shall You Save Your Pencil or Not? / October 30, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

My favorite pencil wore down. There’s no irritation, no bitterness. Just a feeling of gratitude and quiet sadness. This tool fulfilled the purpose for which someone created it.

Lines, sketches, notes—everything had meaning, nudging life forward.

Wine is meant to be enjoyed, not left to sit endlessly in a bottle. One day it will simply sour. Attempts to save the nectar too long will eventually turn it into poison.

Wasting a resource pointlessly corrodes the soul like acid.

The above applies to a person just as much as it does to a thing. The same feelings arise depending on whether a person used his gift or “saved” it in a chest underground.

Claiming a gift as your own is as unethical as a fund manager claiming clients' assets. He also betrays their trust if he doesn’t invest, leaving the funds idle in bank accounts.

Not losing funds—that’s basic hygiene. The main goal is to make them grow.

The skill lies in eliminating foolish risks and in choosing investment targets wisely. The investor and the gardener water what grows on its own and yields bountiful fruit.

Uncovering one’s potential is harder. There are no clear 'yield' and 'ROI' indicators, and other people's success patterns will hurt rather than save.

But when you find your way, each stroke on a cotton pad or napkin sharpens your pencil, but in return creates something that has personal meaning for you.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Flow Wins / October 29, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Former wrestler and two-time PBR champion Jess Lockwood once said:

“In wrestling to win a match, you gotta have hip control. You gotta dominate your opponents. It's not a fight in a sense with your opponent. You gotta flow and move off of what they are doing. Same thing with bull riding. It comes from your hips. You don't fight the bull. You're not gonna to win a battle with a 2,000-pound bull. So you gotta flow with them and react to their moves and not fight it. You gotta move with.”

A head-on collision is naïve and dangerous, especially when your opponent is much larger and stronger. The only way out is to offset limited resources with an excess of wit.

To find the right solution, the mind needs absolutely nothing.

The bigger your opponent, the greater his inertia. That means you can more easily guess the direction of his movement. While the massive force slowly shifts, you have time to make your move.

The only one who can stand in your way is yourself.

For instance, if fear takes over and you lose faith in yourself. Fear locks you up, not just physically but, more importantly, mentally. The range of possibilities shrinks from infinity to zero.

That’s why, in the most hopeless situations, the real fight is within.

In this sense, believers have it easier. Facing an overwhelming threat doesn’t paralyze them because they carry within themselves an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful God.

Faith calms fear and gives the Creator's insight a chance to enter the mind.

A confident person watches his opponent with curiosity. In a way, he’s even grateful, like a scientist facing a problem, for the chance to show his inventive mind.

Only thanks to a raging ocean does a surfer’s mastery grow.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Whole Body Strength / October 28, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

A remarkable feature of intelligence is differentiation (from the Latin differentia — “distinction”). It means the ability to break down a process or phenomenon into its components. This is how we uncover how things work.

Now we can fix something, create something new, or improve the highlighted element. For example, in sports, specific exercises can develop a targeted group of muscles.

But there’s a temptation to get carried away with the process of differentiation, forgetting about the original whole from which the research began.

Yet everyday tasks often demand an integrated approach. Pulling a 20-inch tire out of a car trunk is not the same as lifting weights at the gym. The awkward trajectory and shape of the object multiply the complexity—and the risk—many times over.

Life challenges the organism as a whole, not just its individual parts.

That’s why it’s important to do exercises that engage as many muscles as possible at once. Take, for example, the “farmer's walk,” which activates:

Forearms
Shoulders
Back
Trapezius muscle
Rectus, transverse, and oblique abdominal muscles
Hamstrings
Quadriceps
Glutes
Calves

These exercises require integrated efforts, not just in terms of muscles, but also over time. In other words, you need to train not for a week but for many years to achieve significant results.

Want to gauge your overall body strength? Here’s a test from Dr. Peter Attia:

“Doing what's called farmer's carry is such an important form of activity. Say a woman in her 40s should be able to carry 75% of her body weight in her hands for a minute. And if she can do that it means we are very confident that by the time she is in her last decade she will have the strength to open a jar for example. And for a man? It's your body weight for a minute.”

This is a literal illustration that our health is in our hands.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Chaos Grip / October 27, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

“Suicide wrap” is a special way of wrapping a rope around a rider’s hand during rodeo.

The benefit is that it helps the rider stay on the bucking beast. The downside? It’s tough to free your hand. Even after falling off and blacking out, the rider remains glued to the bull that’s trampling him. Without a support team, the rider is doomed.

This is the eternal dilemma of dealing with chaos:

If your grip is too loose, you’ll soon hit the ground, left with nothing or shattered.
If the hold is too tight, chaos will drag you endlessly, breaking and exhausting you.

The interaction should be paradoxical - to be and not to be.

Riding an enduro motorcycle off-road teaches you a lot. You learn to grip the tank with your legs, not the handlebars with your hands, and to stand on the pegs, spring-like, instead of sitting in the saddle.

The same approach applies to unexpected, unfamiliar problems.

Imagine yourself as a primitive man encountering fire for the first time. By finding the right distance, you can turn a curse into a blessing that radically transformed the human species.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

To Founder from CEO? / October 26, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

For the uninitiated, there's no difference between a founder and a CEO. Both sit high in the corporate sky like gods, ruling over everyone’s fate with power and unpredictability.

On one hand, employees of a large company revere the shareholder, but on the other hand, they know their stability and prosperity depend solely on the CEO.

The CEO knows better than anyone how far he is from the founder.

A friend once shared how he managed assets for an oligarch. Alongside other managers, mostly ex-McKinsey, they devised a plan to save the company $50 million. Proud of themselves, they looked down on the beneficiary. That was until he sold his unremarkable bank for $2 billion.

Many can multiply one, but few can create it from zero.

Flying in the atmosphere is one thing; space is another. In the first case, you need wings and an engine to interact with the air, generating lift and thrust. In the second, you need reactive thrust: a rocket ejects fuel, and by the law of momentum, it moves in the opposite direction. In the vacuum of space, wings are useless.

That's why not every CEO can become a founder. You have to unlock those abilities and build those skills that no business school can truly teach. Thankfully, not everyone needs to. Because prolific entrepreneurs desperately need virtuoso CEOs to turn their groundbreaking business ideas into reality.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Against All Odds / October 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Professionalism is performing a function, no matter what.

That includes obstacles both inside and outside the person.

What do you expect from a backup parachute? That it will fully open 100 times out of 100, not just sometimes or partially.

In that sense, a professional is like a tool. A plow has to till the soil, tweezers have to grip, and a hammer has to drive nails.

As long as it retains "hammerness", it will keep hitting the mark over and over. However, every tool has its limits, defined in the manual. For instance, office glue is meant for paper and cardboard, but it's useless on metal.

But within those limits, a professional won’t let you down.

A surgeon will still perform a scheduled operation even when he's tired. And a psychotherapist will continue to help clients, even if her house is being bombed. An amateur’s mind shuts down if he’s sleep-deprived or sick. But a professional, like time, keeps moving forward: tick-tock, tick-tock...

But isn't this what God (Universe, Eternity) expects from a person?

To fill life with meaning, despite the chaos outside and inside.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Double-Edged Growth / October 24, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Let's say you have something good—X. Something you consider useful, beneficial, and valuable. Obviously, you know X inside and out.

What happens if you add another X to your X? Right, you get 2X. In other words, the value grows linearly. Predictable growth, no unpleasant surprises.

But what if that pace isn't enough? Say, there's an urgent need for a big leap forward.

We're talking about exponential growth, where a grain of sand suddenly turns into a mountain. Yesterday, there was hunger; today, food appears so fast it’s like a fairy tale where you have to say, "Pot, stop cooking."

It's clear that for this kind of magic, you need more than just the usual X, or even a variation X'. You need something entirely new—an unknown Y.

The more Y differs from X, the greater the outcome when they combine into XY.

But the unknown carries risk. An explosion is also lightning-fast growth, only usually for harm rather than good.

This brings us to the issue of governance. The highest increase in value is technically impossible without novelty, but novelty can both create and destroy.

Remember the dilemma from another fairy tale? "Execute, no pardon." The outcome depends on where you place the comma.

If you're planning a big business, keep in mind the double-edged sword of novelty. You must be open to strange people and ideas, but also aware of the inevitable risk of falling from great heights.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Reverse the Odds / October 23, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Grappling with different partners, I often share an insight that once saved me during the final of the Ukrainian championship in 2017:

"When an opponent aggressively looms over you, he’s vulnerable. Just block his arms and pull, bringing his head over yours. Then, give a quick push with your legs, and he’ll fly right over you."

This opportunity comes up often in a match, but most grapplers don’t see it. Why? They’re too focused on themselves, desperately trying to survive.

The irony is, the move works best when there’s a big gap in weight, size, or strength between the grapplers. Imagine a slim girl trying to defend herself while a big guy presses down on her.

The heavyweight feels sure of his advantage. In his mind, he’s already won, and defense isn’t even on his radar. The fairy uses this carelessness to slip beneath the giant’s center of gravity. That’s the secret.

Lift your opponent off the ground, and he’ll lose all his strength.

In Greek mythology, Hercules was the first to defeat the giant Antaeus. This son of Poseidon drew his strength from his mother, Gaia, the goddess of the earth. During their fight, Hercules figured out Antaeus’s secret—he lifted him high into the air to drain his power, then finished him off.

Paradoxically, the worse your situation, the better your chances of winning.

But first, you need to turn your perspective around 180 degrees.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

The Flip Side / October 22, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

What happens if you take a deep breath, then try to fill your lungs with even more air? And then more, and more? With each passing second, it gets worse.

Every cell in your body craves just one thing — to exhale.

Opposites imply each other:

In and out.
Rise and fall.
Truth and lies.
Heat and cold.
Lack and excess.
Man and woman.
Silence and noise.
Light and shadow.
Beginning and end.
Progress and decline.
Hardness and softness.
Strength and weakness.
Stillness and movement.
Simplicity and complexity.
Dead-end and breakthrough.

If this is obvious, why do people act like it’s not?

Take the founder who grinds in “24/7/365” mode, brushing off any suggestion of a break with, “I’ll rest when I retire!” Meanwhile, his body keeps shocking him, going on strike.

The businessman's posts show off his success, a harmonious home, and perfect kids. Yet, when you happen to meet him on the street, his eyes tell a different story — unbearable longing, exhaustion, and pain.

The CEO passionately talks about the company’s dedication to its employees, its long-term charity work, and the many progressive ideas it has implemented. But when you ask him about revenues and expenses over the last three years, he struggles to give a quick answer.

“Opposites arise from each other, and this transition is mutual,” wrote Plato in his dialogues "On the Soul."

Trying to focus only on one desired part of life pushes a person into its opposite. Success at any cost turns into failure. The thirst for recognition — loneliness. The chase for happiness — depression. Eagerness — burnout.

The takeaway: remember to exhale after a deep breath.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

Why Partnerships Thrive or Fail / October 21, 2024 by Alexander Lyadov

Once upon a time, there were business partners. They started a successful business together. Then they had a falling out. They spent years fighting over assets, sabotaging each other, and airing dirty laundry in public. They lost money and nerves in the courts.

Ten years went by. The resentment is still smoldering, but it’s clear now—they all lost.

Some try to forget the whole thing like a bad dream. Others can’t stop asking, “Why did the conflict happen?” And a few are still trying to find a winning strategy after the fact, thinking, “If only I had done this back then…”

But almost no one asks, “Why did I choose this partner?”

Think back to how it all began. You were talking with different people, passionately brainstorming ideas. At some point, it became clear that you couldn’t wait any longer. Opportunities weren’t going to stick around forever. And for some reason, this person caught your attention. Why?

Let me help—he was your perfect match. Whatever you desperately lacked, he had in abundance. And the same went the other way around.

Even when people say, “I had the ideas, and he had the resources,” that’s only half the truth. Most likely, it’s just your natural design—somehow, muses are drawn to you, while money seems to find its way to him easily.

The point is: Your partner was fundamentally different from you.

In your partnership, this was both super glue and dynamite. At best, your progress was unstoppable. At worst—things blew up.

Why? The qualities you lack are the ones you deeply dislike. Your lack isn’t an accident; you see those traits as nonsense, weakness, dirt, or even immorality. But your gut tells you this is your “bottleneck.”

Your partner embodies what you crave to be but can’t.

When a cathode “finds” an anode, a current flows between them. This system works perfectly as long as neither part believes success is solely its own doing.

If this temptation comes to you, push it away fast. The system's synergy is safeguarded by the humility of all its parts.

Sincerely yours,

-Alexander

About me:
As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.